esrosedotblog

Today was a day of financial mishegas.

Somehow we have missed the first payment on the new Volvo. I don't think we ever got the bill.

It is one of those things that, by definition, they are right and I am wrong and there is no point in debating it one way or another.

I walked the check for the first payment to the mailbox today.

I don't like it when shit like this happens. I am worried that it will "tarnish my reputation". The fact is that my reputation and credit rating is sterling. We bought the car "on time" as an alternative to leasing. I have not bought something on time for many years.

But when one is on the wrong side of the credit folks it is irrelevant that years have gone by since the last time there was a problem.

They were nice and so was I.

Perhaps that is the end of it.

Labels: finance

Today's film was one long veil of tears.

On the other hand, it is one of the most beautiful films that I have seen in a while.

Poj Arnon / Bangkok Love Story (2007)

We must adjust for the genré and the culture here. Things go from bad to worse. But such is true love.

The fact that this involves two gay men is not so much the source of trouble. It is extra marital, one of the guys is a hooker, one is a successful business man with a beautiful wife and home. And so on.

I liked it a lot. But I won't be buying it or seeing it again. Too much tragedy for me. All in 90 minutes.

The love relation and the love scenes are beautiful as is the rest of the film. It is almost a travelogue of Bankok. Sunrises, sunsets, rain.

I found my self strangely unmoved by the tragedy. Perhaps because the arc is so apparent from the beginning. Doomed lovers.

It does not seem that this is one of those "they deserve" it films at all. The gays cannot find love. These guys find love and more. It is just that the lovers have found themselves smack dab in a crime film with a lot of passion that isn't going to go anywhere with the guns and violence surrounding them.

I will give this a 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

Today's movie was a lot of fun to watch.

Logan's Run (1976)

I had never seen it. Richard York, Richard Jordan and Peter Ustinov (stealing every scene).

It is fun and quite unbelievable.

Logan is assigned to go outside the enclosed city to find a place called Sanctuary where "runners" abide after escaping from the very limited life in the domed world. You only live so long, there are little lights in everyone's palm to show current status and when it is your time, they come for you.

Ustinov is the old man in a place they find outside which is Washington DC in vines. And so on.

I liked it. Stayed with it. A 3 out of Netflix5. I wouldn't want to see it again but I am glad to have done so once.

Labels: films

The two guys whose suit overturned Prop 8 in California finally had their big wedding yesterday.

Plaintiffs in Historic Gay Marriage Case Lauded at Lavish Ceremony

They married with a simple civil service right after the Supremes ruled but this was the big one. Lavish ones have to be planned! Especially gay lavish.

Well, it would have to have been lavish. Ours was. So be it. We all waited way too long for this to happen.

On the other hand, to be honest, I was amazed it happened so quickly. Or at all.

We were able to get married in the brief window of time before the wing nuts shut it down.

Thanks to Paul Katami and Jeff Zarillo for standing up and fighting back. They paved the way for many others to follow.

Labels: gay history, gay marriage, gay rights

The annual summer cold has arrived.

So far it isn't too bad. Sniffy. Wet.

I don't use the "Kleenex" tissues. I go directly to the paper towels.

It is good that I don't have much coming up this next week.

It will last seven days. Or a week if I am lucky.

It doesn't matter what I do for it. I don't have a headache with it so no aspirin. Although it might help me mentally. I take Loratadine daily anyway, for allergies. So that is already done.

I did use the Echinacia. Natural. But the problem with any "remedy" is that it is hard to tell whether it is working or not. If it is working, how bad would the cold be without it? If it is not working, not much else to do.

What is good is that there is nothing coming up this week. Very quiet. No meetings or anything. So I can just lie low. Sleep. That seems to be the best remedy for just about anything. Lie low. Sleep.

I am not clogged up. If I am I can do the saline spray.

Otherwise. Take it and then let it go.

I am grateful that I don't get sick at all. Except for this. Once a year. I can handle that just fine. It is my turn.

Labels: sick

Sounds like a normal day.

I still enjoy this series very much and today watched Season Three Episodes Three and Four.

A lot of series do not hold up as long as this one. I am rapt.

Here are the twins, Stiles and the Wolf himself.

If you have not watched this series than you are pretty well out of the loop. Sorry.

Labels: television

Today is the 45th anniversary of Stonewall.

The gay movement's turning point. A lot has changed since that day.

LGBT Rights 45 Years After the Stonewall Riots

Some drag queens in Greenwich Village had enough and fought back.

Then it spread.

The idea that gay people could have their own moment was monumental. It helped open many doors. Mine included.

I am so grateful to these people. They fought back. The stigma at that time against gays was huge. In many areas it still is.

The fight continues. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Here is a photo from Boston, a demonstration at the Parkman Band Stand in the Common. It is 1976. I am in there somewhere. It is my first one.

Labels: gay history, gay liberation, gay rights

I woke up with this in my head and then spent half an hour looking at all the versions.

This is a two-fer. A great Dylan song and the Byrds.

Poor quality doesn't prevent seeing a great tune well done.

I loved the Byrds. Still do. When it came down to it, they did the best job on Bob Dylan's music. Better than the man himself.

Labels: music

Today's film, set in 1985 San Francisco, evokes its time and place beautifully.

Test (2014)

A young dancer finds himself surrounded by the AIDS crisis. Friends and lovers are running. Out of town, away from each other.

What to do?

His friend, another dancer, and his roommate hear him out and stand by him as he gets the AIDS test. He is the first of his acquaintances to do so.

The movie lets us wait it out with him. The two weeks that were standard at the time. The young man goes about his life as he moves through the fear and anticipation of waiting.

There is a lot of dance footage in this film. Beautifully done. Mostly men. Modern. It is the real thing. No stand ins.

Eventually, the results come in. For others. For a friend. For him. This is a kind of suspense film.

I do not think you have to remember this time or have been in the middle of it to "get" it. It will speak universally.

But for anyone who remembers and was there it is all very real and brings back the feelings of the time. Waiting with friends. Waiting with your lover. Waiting for one's own results.

I will not tell you how it comes out. No spoilers. You will have to see and feel it for yourself.

I already bought this film and will see it again. A 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films, gay history, gay life

Sometimes, a lot really, I feel like I am defying the inevitable time line of aging.

I feel a lot younger than I am. Or, rather, I feel a lot better than I thought I would at this age.

But then there are days that I fucking feel my age. Not old, in the way I thought I would be. Feeble, simple, drooling.

It is more fundamental than that. I feel as though I have had a really heavy workout. Over the top. Weary.

I ache. Here, there, well, everywhere. Goddam it.

There is no cause or cure. Doctor Jim says, when age comes up, that I am just "old". That is the condition. The blatant truth right out there in his office. The physician speaks.

For a long time I have not acknowledged being old. Oh, from time to time, when people express surprise to find that I am 77, I wallow in the implied compliments. But usually I am quiet about it.

I am not sure that is a good thing. I don't want to be a whiner but the fact is that I am, somedays, not in the best of condition.

This does not involve "health", incidentally. This just means that chronic, moving around aches and pains are usually present.

We saw Bruce Dern yesterday playing an old man and the stiff walk was, in a way, comic.

But when I get up, the first few steps are very Dern-like and anything but funny.

That's it.

My dose of small self pity for the day.

So I ache. I earned it. One way to think about it. Like war wounds.

I still go to the gym every weekday. Half an hour on the bike, different body parts every day with the weights. That doesn't hurt.

It is immobility that hurts. The inertia sets in and I have to get going again.

Actually, this is my solution. Keep moving. The old Satchell Paige quote. "Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you."

If you are younger than me and reading this it is probably a little scary or you will not want to hear it just because it is negative thinking. Or something. Good. Don't think about it. There is nothing in hell you can do about it when your turn comes.

OK. I am going to get up now and start moving around again. Next thing will be a nap.

Labels: aging

Defined.

Labels: fun

The relationship between sons and aging dads is a timeless tale of trying to settle the deal.

In today's movie, an old man gets one of those "you have won" promotion letters. If you buy some magazines, then you get into a lottery where everyone wins. They already got the magazines for a low price. Winning.

In this case, the old man takes it literally and decides that he wants to go to Nebraska, the home of the promotion company, to get his million dollar prize. He doesn't read the fine print. One gathers actually that he does not want to.

His son starts by humoring him and before long has joined up. They are both going to

Nebraska (2013)

This is a movie in the old sentimental style but it has some sharp edges too. Bruce Dern is the old man and his son Bruce Forte. A wonderful turn by June Squibb as the long suffering wife and mother.

This is a composed film. Carefully written and flawlessly filmed in black and white. The traps of sentimentality and city slicker superiority are avoided, transcended, actually.

It is a New York Times Critic's Pick. The city slickers liked it very much. The film pierces all the sophisticated armor a lot of us bring to a new film.

Conversely, one sits with this story and its people and becomes a part of.

This is a wonderful movie and will get a 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

The various state level anti-gay marriage laws have been falling left and right. So fast that I have given up trying to write about each of them as they happen. In fact, so far, not one marriage ban laws has stood. Not one.

This is more than I could have expected. The Supreme Court started the ball rolling by ruling that DOMA was not constitutional and that essentially left it up to the States to "police" the "sanctity" of denying marriage rights to same gender couples. Denying human rights. This article is a good summary and points out that none other than Nino the terrible, one of our arch enemies, Antonin Scalia predicted this outcome.

He may not be agreeable but he is smart enough to see the writing on the wall.

How Scalia Predicted the Marriage Equality Juggernaut

I have mentioned that we worked for and donated to the marriage movement since we were in Massachusetts. Nearly at the "unthinkable" idea's birth. That would be less than 20 years ago. Just before we moved west.

At the time, we had some mild hope that liberal states such as Massachusetts would eventually pass supportive legislation. But this is beyond my wildest imagination at the time.

Very nice. Another happy result of the gay rights movement in general.

What a change from the times when a scared little boy in rural Pennsylvania was afraid to even admit to his fantasies. Scared "straight" with a lot of consequences for innocent bystanders when that illusion fell away. A much less scared, determined, adult decided that his right to full expression is as legitimate as anyone else. Expression being a weak word for signifying one's very being.

My John and I did get married. Six years ago.

Let me tell you. When that "I do" rings out, the feelings are monumental. Unexpected. A huge feeling of relief falls away and we are, in a way, finally born.

This is the part that many gay men and too many straight people do not get. Gayness is down to the toenails total. The idea of sexual preference is more affront to the humanity of men and women who need to be one with one another. Need.

A lot of straight people do now get it. All of it. They are lining up for us. We need them to do this because there are so many of them and too few of us to shove all the way. Together we are getting there and very soon I believe.

Here is a straight boy who gets it. He is a great ally. This is a wonderful video that says it all. All.

Labels: gay marriage

Another two episodes of the first season discs:

True Detective Episodes 3 and 4

Spectacular. Great acting. A bullshit story. Or at least it seems that way to me.

Maybe they are keeping it realistic which is probably more the case. The action runs away from the traditional arcs.

We see a lot of bayou country in Louisiana. Characters, local color.

It is riveting stuff.

Production values are very high. Not that there is much time to admire a location or the work of filming. But it is apparent.

I am liking it.

Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey. Plus myriad wonderful character actors.

You can feel the humid heat of it all.

Labels: films, television

There was a time when no matter what the film was, if it was good, it probably had Eli Wallach in it.

Not a real star but a very dependable actor who had starring roles, Wallach was a master of the snitch, the villain, the guy who cheated someone else. A blackguard. Seldom heroic.

He was married to Anne Jackson for over 40 years and they had a durable professional life together. Not like the Lunts. More like good actors who could define their own parts aside from the spouse and do the job required in the script.

He lived a very long time. Now he is gone.

Eli Wallach Multifaceted Actor Dies at 98

The list of credits is very long. I saw a lot of these films. He belonged to a group who were known for their belief in method acting and they often worked together. To our great benefit.

His first film was The Good, the Bad and the Ugly in which he was the first billed star and Clint Eastwood below the top. Wallach was the was the bad. Eastwood the good and Lee Van Cleef was the ugly. His last film was "Wall Street: The Money Never Sleeps", a sequel to the first Michael Douglas film about investment villains.

In between he had countless roles in theater (his first love), television and the movies.

Labels: films, obituary

Sometimes, nostalgia can lead to deep regret and alienation.

The good times reveal hidden faults in a relationship that suddenly bloom under investigation. Such is the case in this disturbing documentary

Shepard and Dark (2102).

Two men, one famous, the other not, have over 40 years of experience together. Intimate and yet strange to one another.

I think that this is the dilemma for a lot of men. Don't know about women.

My own life is strewn with friendships that were deep and abiding and then were not. One or both of us had enough and shoved off.

Sometimes I have gotten together with these guys again but, to date, no avail.

This film is surprisingly intimate. Amazingly not self conscious.

I was deeply touched by both men's willingness to show us their relationship on such intimate terms. Especially knowing that as it evolves, there will not be a happy ending or a resolve.

Painful.

It is hard not to wonder about the role of alcohol and drugs in this story but that is barely touched. My own experience is very much colored by those "using" times. The other unsaid thing is the scare put in modern men's minds about queerness and the threat that intimacy with another man is to be avoided.

But that is asking too much. These guys are not gay nor are they likely to become so. Smile.

I liked the way it kept things open. Like the relationship itself. The film is a reflection of a long project about making a book. This effort was abandoned. Heartache ensued. Looks like they found a way to tell the story by making a film and letting a documentarian make it. Treva Wurmfeld. She did a great job on these guys. Revealing, yet loving and respectful.

I would be willing to see it again. That makes it a 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

We had a nice time in Big Bear.

And we came home a day early.

The lake is beautiful. The ride to the Lake is stupendous. The resort area is kind of strung out so there is not a dense buildup around.

The construction around the lake is mostly modest newer homes which keep their distance from mother nature.

We arrived mid afternoon and had a nice walk along the lake shore. Our room faced the water and it was very low profile. Mid-range quality, a little dank.

We had a nap. Sat and stared at the water which is quite beautiful. The far shore is all woods and any visual intrusion by construction is minimal.

There was a small beach and a series of barbecues on the beach and we got to watch two families and their kids have a quiet good time.

We went out to dinner and had a good meal at a better restaurant. There were no other people. As expected we were off season and off weekend and so we had things pretty much to ourselves.

We went home, stared at the lake some more and went to bed.

This morning, both of us arrived at the same conclusion and that is that we had enough of Big Bear and were ready to go home.

So we did.

I am happy that we have always been able to be in synch about this kind of thing.

The ride back was equally if not even better than the ride up. The morning sun has an advantage of angle on the landscape. All downhill, rollie coaster, a great ride.

I am the designated hill driver because John is the more intense watcher of the scene and I am not a very good rider in the copilot position.

We will probably not go back. Who knows?

As intended, it was a nice day from the heat. A change of scene. A good time alone together. We have still not finished the conversation after all these 39 years.

Labels: California, vacation

Even though he is not an 'I told you so' kind of guy.

Iraq Crisis Offers Timely Vindication

And just as he is thinking of running for Pres again.

You know, I think, that I have a Joe Biden coffee cup in my bathroom. It holds my toothbrush. I am a loyalist.

I would have voted for Joe in the first place. I was for him before I was for Barack.

He has always been world-wise.

I think that Biden's curse is that he is genuinely a nice guy. He has the hunger but not the blood lust of politics. He is no Clinton. Either one of them.

At his best, he is a humble servant of the people. Not easy to do and to balance that with the kind of ego that prompts elective careers.

I have stood for public office enough times to know how this is a bind. Easy to succumb to grandiosity. Not easy not to abstain from "I told you so."

If he runs I am with him. All the way.

This is the opening salvo in my primary campaign. You have been warned.

Labels: Joe Biden

Image search on Google this morning.

Mug shot from Oklahoma.

Rugby Union player.

Coroner of the JFK assassination.

Famous composer and jazz pianist. He is working in the Carlyle Cafe of the Carlyle Hotel where I often had supper in NYC. You can barely see the famous murals by Marcel Vertes, nursery rhyme figures.

Canadian photographer. Look at his stuff.

Labels: Self Absorption

It took me a while to get the new New Yorker cover.

Then I saw it. A shot of joy at finding something I had missed on the first pass.

And it is by George Booth. A long time favorite.

There is an entire book based on Booth cartoon dogs. It is, of course, delightful. As are his people. No people in this one. Just a dog.

Labels: dogs

But there is nothing wrong with melodrama if it is done right.

But wait. What is melodrama anyway? Try this.

Melodrama: a dramatic form that does not observe the laws of cause and effect and that exaggerates emotion and emphasizes plot or action at the expense of characterization.

A few students, a teacher. A boy who is so rich he runs the school. Another boy who is so hot that everyone is in love with him. Well, at least the teacher (under the radar) and his room mate. The room mate kills himself out of frustration with his failed advances. The hot boy is aware but indifferent. Then some other boys, figuring it out, beat up the hot boy and he is paralyzed. The teacher feels complicit.

Take it from there.

Schoolboy Crush (2007)

Now, there is nothing wrong about melodrama. In fact, this one is so well done that I was touched by the action and the ending. Which is, of course, inevitable but still. That doesn't take away from the fact that it is an emotional roller coaster to get there.

I liked the movie. I liked the boys. I suppose that I could be a "rice queen" without much effort. There are a lot of shower scenes. Bare butts. They are all attractive especially the hot boy. And then there is the teacher. Wide eyed innocent. And that is how it is played. But eventually, well, he gets wised up very nicely.

Come right down to it, I love this kind of shit.

I don't want the disc for my personal collection but I would not mind seeing it again. A melodramatic 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films, gay films

But not "bored".

I just got back from our monthly meeting of the Condo Board of Directors. I am the Treasurer.

We did a lot of business in a relatively short time because we are pretty much aligned on all the issues.

This is a new development for the Board, which like a lot of condo boards, has had a lot of contention in the past.

I think this serenity is a result of a lot of good sub-committee work and the membership of Board members on each Committee.

We have also hired and "trained" a really good professional management company who know the ropes and provide excellent guidance for our deliberations.

Today's issues ranged over a wide area but mostly had to do with applications from owners to do either landscape or architectural work which could be viewed as in violation of the rules.

Some were OK'd, most were not.

We are are in the midst of changing our architectural rules and so many of the issues we face are the result of the old rules lack of clarity. We are already working from the new guidelines which have gone out for owner comment and now are being re-examined according to the results that came in. We will act on the proposed rules with any amendments in September.

There will be no meetings in July and August. We are old style desert rats. No one does nothing in the summer.

I like my Treasurer's job. I sign all the checks and worry about cash flow.

But there is not much worry. We have a healthy group of owners and right now there are only two in arrears and that is more about the banks who are managing the units than it is "real people".

The dues increase will not change this. We will spend all the money. We are beginning to totally replace roofs for all the units and that will absorb the money. We are still "competitive" with most other condos. Just below the middle of the range. We also buy cable television (and internet) on behalf of the owners saving almost 50% of the individual cost.

I had to abstain from one vote today. Money to do needed repairs to our own pod's roof.

I had not even complained about the leaks.

I don't think it is because I am on the Board but I am not asking.

No one brought up the view from our complex. I think we are all more than happy with that. It is just splendid. We are situated almost perfectly to take advantage of the mountain view and are basically surrounded by desert areas that have little chance of being developed further. Quiet and beautiful.

Labels: condo

Dick Cheney unleashed a lot of surprise reaction when he defended the Iraq war this week.

Rand Paul: "Proponents of Iraq war responsible for current chaos".

A lot of Cheney's critics now include latter day Republicans and they have not come to his support.

He should probably kept his mouth shut.

But that is not Dick's way and his daughter is probably going to run for office again. It seems to be a vain attempt to do some slate cleaning before she has to do some defending of her father.

These people are still trying to sell an adventure that was long ago discredited and failed totally. To their everlasting disgrace.

I saw this video loop this morning and Cheney still does his schoolmarmish way of explaining why all his critics are wrong and he is right. He is so above it all that he is almost not there. And that is the problem with the Cheneys. They are in a parallel universe.

Labels: bushies, right wing bastards

Today's film is a standard story of gay love interrupted by circumstance.

Just like a lot of other love stories.

Otra película de amor / Another Love Story (2011)

There are no reviews to link to. The DVD may be the only distribution.

A Mexican film. Two young men meet, fall in love, enjoy each other's company in many ways and in the process awake their gay desires with one another.

It is absolutely standard and nicely done. Some circumstances are different of course. A small seaside town. Nice moms and dads and friends. They were best friends as children. They reunite and discover there is more going on than they bargained for now that they are adults.

They live near the ocean so there are a lot of nice water scenes. I think this is a first film and all the ingredients are present. He is probably telling his own story or how he wished his story would have gone.

There is no down side. Good. Nothing bad happens. Better.

I liked it. It doesn't belong in my gay film collection. It is just not out enough and the relationship is muted. It is a "pretty good" film. Nice first try.

I will give it a 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

The vows get more sanctified as time goes on.

Presbyterian assembly: Gay marriage is Christian

That is a whole bunch of christians! A big denomination. Not known as highly conservative but still a big switch.

Who would have thought?

Some of us say that we don't care whether the churches "sanctify" our marriage or not. But for many, this is a major hurdle to have to cross and now is removed.

It is also, non religiously speaking, a great bound forward as a social acceptance. One more wave rolling over the ground of bigotry and hatred.

Here are some guys getting married in the Arlington Street Church in Boston. Among the first to go gay.

Labels: christists, gay marriage, gay rights gay history

Governor Scott Walker is a particularly nasty piece of right wing work.

It is always nice to see the wing nuts hoist by their own petard. Or rhetoric.

Prosecutors Allege Scott Walker At Center Of Campaign Finance Criminal Conspiracy

It looks like one of the pimples on the republican ass will get squeezed.

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

I wouldn't normally go after these guys. Republicans are required for the vitality of the two party system.

But a lot of them are cranks and assholes. Often the anti-gay, morality spouting shit heads who play to the churchy right bigots.

It is always nice to see this type get their face messed up. Morality indeed.

And while we are at it, how about a swipe at Christie of New Jersey. The great white hope of the GOoPers.

Exclusive: Prosecutor is Closing in on Governor Christie

There is a fat joke lurking here but I will not go there.

Labels: right wing bastards, wingnuts

I have always enjoyed surfing movies. First because I could look at the handsome men with not so many clothes on. It was the sixties. Not much eye candy in film.

But then I learned a lot about the sport and became entranced with it.

Today's film was

Storm Surfers (2102).

An Australian film, it has the insiders view of the big waves of the Great Southern Ocean. This is where they go way out to hidden reefs where the waves are huge and, brrr, cold.

No skin in this film. A lot of wet suits.

But the surfing is dramatic. Scary. Suspenseful. Quite an experience to watch.

There is a back story here. The two key surfers in the film are old guys. Nearing fifty. That is very old for surfing. But they have a lot of experience. They go looking for the big ocean waves that can get a hundred feet high. Winter waves. We watch the three months when there is a season. These guys have to use jet skis to motor out to the wave. Not cheating. Once you look at the waves you will see this is the only way they can get near the huge crests.

I liked this film a lot. It moved along. No boring stuff. There is something about the prep where they sand and work their boards but it is all in the service of beefing up the suspense and the understanding of the feats involved.

I would be happy to see it again sometime.

The extensive use of the GoPro camera is a new factor in films like this. The riders can hold it out from their bodies and we can see the whole thing. Especially those waves coming in on them. The curl.

A 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

I am fascinated by the story and the trial of the other Boston Marathon killer, younger brother Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

I am not sure why this is. I am a bit suspicious of my interest. He is slightly sexy in a sinister way. There is a draw of some kind. He is of a type. I am certainly aware of that.

Dark, curly hair. Magnetic eyes.

The brother, the one who got shot, is less so. A fanatic. You can see it in his face. But this kid is interesting in a kind of different way. Sick and obviously batty but puppy like.

I am not the only one who feels this way. He is followed with an intense interest. His old wrestling team buddies showed up at his hearing to see him. “I really want to see what his reaction is today, if he doesn’t care, if he does care — I want to see.”

He is an interesting guy. An immigrant with a grievance. A younger brother in thrall to the older one. Friends and fellow students without a clue to this side of him.

"Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was later found bloody and hiding in a boat in a Boston suburb, having allegedly scrawled anti-American messages on the boat's wall."NYTimes article.

He came here, to America, for refuge? And now he hates us? A puzzle. The contradiction of it all.

There is no doubt of the evil of his intent. Where does this come from? That is another thing. A handsome boy with such a mind. It would not be the first time. A lot of killers were good looking.

I am reasonably sure that the defense will be psychological. More fascinating stuff.

Here is more if you want to read about it.

Marathon Bombing Suspect, in First Court Appearance, Pleads Not Guilty

Labels: terrorism, Tsarnaev

John Waters just finished hitchhiking cross country and wrote a book about it.

This is a happy little video about a guy who never lacks for doing the surprising thing.

One of his friends, having just heard about it, left a phone message saying that he would pick him up anywhere and take him where he wanted to go. The friend thought he had dementia and was being nice.

Labels: films, travel

I have actually worn out my gym bag.

It isn't a piece of shit or anything. It is a black canvas thing. The canvas is intact but the pockets are nylon and have given way to the day to day stress of holding my wallet and keys, earplugs and i.d. bracelet.

My Kindle of course. It is smaller than whatever book I used to take but still, it hardly fits in the side pocket. In and out. In and out.

My one liter water bottle. Filled.

There is a lot of stuff in that little bag.

Some fabrics just wear out. Get tired.

I can't believe how long it took me to find something that was OK on Amazon.

Do you have any idea how many gym bags there are for sale in the world? Unbelievable.

It took awhile for me to narrow the field with size. There aren't a lot of bags that are only 12-14 inches long.

I want a small bag because I carry my shit around with me. The phone is in there. The Kindle, I read on the stationary bike. The water bottle. Are you sure you don't want a swig?

So I finally narrowed it down to this one.

Then the color. It used to be that black covered it all. No longer. At first I thought it would be easy to just pick the black but, not so.

Availability of options creates a dissonance. Choice means decision. Decision requires deliberation.

I thought it through. On all days, I have on a white tee, either collared or not, and a pair of nylon shorts. Yes the big baggy ones like everyone else. The only thing one can by at Lands End without it being called a bathing suit. Not the baggy baggy kind. No one in my gym wears that shit.

I have four colors of course. When I find something I like I buy all the colors. Three sets too. I have black (not really a color), navy blue, royal blue and red. Bright red. A narrow white stripe up the sides.

So. Bag color. A lot of colors. No suspense here. You have already seen the picture. I chose yellow.

Why? I don't know. It is not rational. Probably because I don't think that a lot of people carry a yellow (canary) gym bag around with them. Actually not many people carry a bag around with them at all. So if I am in the bare minority why bother about colors. Get something that might elicit comment. "Look at that old queen with the yellow hand bag". Something like that.

I suppose the yellow will not really "go" with the red or royal blue shorts. Certainly OK with the black and navy blue. But what the hell. If I am to be a minority of one. I don't have to traipse over to the fountain where there is barely a trickle of water. I have it right with me. In my "fuckin' canary yellow faggot bag".

Labels: accessories, clothing, gym

There is a break in the production of paintings at some point about 400 years ago.

Suddenly, there was a realism that "came into the picture" that cannot be explained in terms of pure artistic talent.

This is not a new idea but no one has, before, managed to construct a simple lens/mirror arrangement that can explain the sudden change.

In this film, we see the engineer, not artist, Tim Jenison, do just that. Taking ideas that the artist David Hockney had proposed, the engineer undertakes a project to actually paint a Vermeer, an artist who is working at this time, who achieved some of the startling newly realistic images. Using actual sets, people, costumes and even light that Vermeer might have done, we watch him "paint" his, Tim's, own "Vermeer". It is quite fascinating to watch.

Not only does he explore use of the camera obscura approach, then surprisingly discredit it, he devises a simple mirror/lens device which would do the job instead. He also grinds paints, finds canvas, searches costumes and architectural detail that would have been present at the original creation. He even molds the vase which is prominent in the picture.

I don't much care whether Vermeer "cheated" or not by using mechanics. The artist was able to harness technology, either this arrangement, or another to create a whole new realism in his paintings. Others most likely did the same. Artists copy one another's techniques. That is how new movements are formed.

I liked this film a lot. It had nice soft humor and was careful to take us along into the world of creating an illusion.

No surprise that the writers and directors and producers of this film are none other than the famous "magic" duo, Penn and Teller. The masters of illusion.

This is a solid 4 out of Netflix5. It could easily be watched several times just to see, I mean see with the eye, an important work of art unfold in a way that is likely to have really happened. Or something like it. It took Jenison a very long time to do the work. We also get a sense of the difficulty of doing a work of this complexity. It is not dashed off. Time and thought, contemplation, even of a copy, are essential.

Labels: art, films

This is film festival week in Palm Springs.

Palm Springs International Film Festival

I used to go to it. John still does.

That means that I will be home alone the rest of this week. Not making dinner! A mini vacation.

I did go to the PSFF at the beginning. I found enough films to go see and liked about half of them. A reasonable success rate. The Fest is particularly valuable because of the international aspect. These are films that will never make it into distribution in the United States and even then appear in large cities.

But I will not be going.

I don't much like being with other people. Not in the "watching a movie" sense.

The invention of Netflix and the DVD have been a boon for me because I can see what I want to see when I want to see it. I can be my own film curator. And I can stop the film anytime that I think it sucks. What is more, I don't have to put up with the smell of popcorn or the chitter chatter of people talking during the film.

I don't go to any movies any more for these two reasons.

I have become a lazy old fart and don't much like being out of the house for stuff like that. Four hours shot for a 50/50 chance that I will like what someone else picked to show.

The low point, the day I decided never to go back was when I was waiting for a film to start and some woman leaned over her seat to ask "what is your favorite film?".

For some reason this just totally pissed me off.

And I never went back. It doesn't take much to set me off if I am borderline anyway.

I don't have "favorites" and I don't really want to talk to strangers about them if I did.

I know this is petty and silly and a prime example of my agoraphobia but it is a pretty good excuse for staying home and seeing the films I want to when I want to on DVD. Without having to talk about them to a stranger.

Labels: films

Today's film was about failed attempts to seal the love deal.

In Bloom (2013)

A young gay couple fall in and out of love and then try half heartedly to renew the relationship.

It is pretty good but not good enough to want to see it again.

The boys are sort of unfinished young men and therein lies the problem. They are either unfinished as characters in the story or perhaps that is the point. They are just unfinished.

They meet and then reminisce about their past. We see the story unfold as they recount it to one another. A weird device since it isn't really what is happening here. No narrator. Just the film maker doing the going back thing. Not a big point maybe but it cools the whole thing off. We go from the people connecting to being a fly on the wall.

Or something like that.

I can't give it more than a 3 out of Netflix5 and even though I bought the disc so I could see it I probably won't see it again.

Actually, they are kind of annoying and I want to slap them.

Labels: films, gay films

Today's film was one of those post realism works that keeps the watcher on his toes.

Or on his ass.

Nothing is easy in Carlos Reygadas'

Post Tenebras Lux (2012)

This means "after dark, light".

And the light does fall. There is a lot of dark/light stuff. There are at least two plots that do not connect except tangentially. There are various "thought problems" as in WTF?

It is quite entertaining. I do not think that it is deep. But it is very wide.

I love non-traditional films like this. They puzzle and they also shock and if they are good they integrate the unknowns into a kind of whole that makes sense. It is, unfortunately for you or not, the kind of sense that only a viewer of the whole damned thing can attest to.

I got it. I get it.

The film has kids who are very small doing kid things. It has animals. It has some adults who know what they are doing and some who do not.

Much of it is like a dream.

What can I say? I urge you to see it and to hold on to your seat for awhile and give it a chance. There was no moment when I wanted to turn it off and, for a change, I only looked at my watch or the running time once. A good measure of success with this viewer.

I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5. I would give it a 5 but that is a commitment beyond what I am willing to make right now. The promise to see it again is a bit elusive. I will give that one some time.

Labels: films

These two Yale professors came late to marriage even after being together for 20 years.

George Chauncey and Ronald Gregg have been active for years in securing marriage rights for other gay people. Yet, they didn't get married themselves until just recently.

Watch this video!

Labels: gay marriage

I took more garden pictures today.

We have a whole wall of hibiscus and a fountain against the wall where the other pictures below were taken. But no blooms now. A lot of foliage and the beginning of some blossoms.

I have a cactus collection. On two tables. I can't identify any of them. But I like them a lot.

On the east side and then another sort of in the middle of the west. The west one sits over a big lantana bush which is always blooming in some part of it.

None of these want much water. I need to be careful about how I deal with this as the plant on the right, a desert rose (aha!) needs regular water and the others do not. Sorry, it is a little cut out of the picture and I don't want to go take another one. So not that sorry I guess. :>)

Then there are my succulents. A cactus is a succulent but these are succulent succulents. You can look it up. I don't understand it. I just raise them. They take more water. The thing on the left is a hanging fixture which I have never hung. You see, I am a careless gardener.

But these are the plants I most love. See the teeny flowers? The thing with succulents is that they are not showy for the most part. Small, sweet little flowers. Some exceptions. The desert rose is not blooming just now but when it does it is fucking spectacular.

That is all the flowers. There are some cactus on the other side up against the house. They are OK but not a favorite. I do not baby them. Oddly, they are doing just fine.

That's enough. I am getting bored even if you are not. It is getting to be blah blah time and that is never good for a blog. A blog not a "blahg".

What I am getting out of this is that I am not a brilliant desert gardener. I just get by.

Labels: condo, desert, garden, gardening

Today is Father's Day.

Or is it Fathers' Day. Collective.

So many "Dads" in my life.

There is the one true Dad who I still sting around the eyes about. He and I had so many ups and downs and we got through all of it. Happy, so happy at the end. To be able to say goodbye and that I loved him and mean it so much.

Then there are the surrogate Dads. Al who was my Dad's friend and when I had a beef with the real Dad, was willing to sit and listen and advise to give some slack. To listen for the love.

There was Bob who ran the dining hall where I worked at MIT. I had a tough time there academically and Bob helped me through. I ended up running the student staff and I learned a lot about managing from this wonderful man. He was a bootstrapped guy like my own Dad and that has always been a factor in my attraction to father types.

After college, in my first job, there was John who was a maverick, a guy who had been in a lot of companies and had basically pissed off a lot of people with his intelligence and talent as an engineer. When I was with him I learned a lot about being fact based. To not worry about what second rate people said or did.

At the same time I watched and was with John, I had another Bob who was a mild mannered gentleman. A talented guy who had been badly burned by the depression. I learned a lot from him about the power of being nice to people. Combined with the sting of the other guy, John, it was a wonderful bi-style set of relationships.

The big boss, Al, was another self made man who didn't take shit from anyone. He was my interview at MIT when I got that job. He was very tough and painfully direct. When he wasn't direct, he was probably going to fire you. I did not get fired. I was touched that he had tears when I left and had to tell him. He had plans for a lot of his boys but it was taking too much time. He understood. He let me go. I love him very much today and feel so blessed by his example in life.

I began to be on my own after that. Always, sometimes for a short while there were Dads. My own regained ascendancy in my life.

I became a Dad to my real kids. They are still very much in my life. I guess that is a good sign.

I have been able to become a father figure in the lives of many men who I have worked with in various jobs and especially those men and women that I have been involved with in recovery programs.

It is second nature to me.

But it is a learned behavior.

I am a self-centered, highly competitive person and I need to channel that energy. Dads taught me how to do that.

I need to say an anonymous word about all the sponsors that I have had in my recovery program. They have helped me become the man I was meant to be and not take myself out of the action. To live life fully and face into the wind.

Today, I still am the "class president" type. I am the Treasurer of my condo association in the first year on the Board. I wanted to be Chairman right away. Really. But I have learned to be a Dad at a lower level. From this position I can be a shepherd of ideas and the many people who have not a single clue about working with others or asking for help. Our owners. The other Board members.

In my life today I carry the seeds of all my Dads' example. Powerful and potent. I try to be even handed, open and loving to others and to stifle my critic and heavy handed parent who tries to run the show. And, I can also be a source of discipline if necessary. To be a firmer power of example. A guide. And, basically, not to put up with any bullshit especially my own.

Thanks Dads. I am so grateful to you.

Labels: fathers

There are some movies that I love unreservedly.

One of these is

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)"

Sublime. Funny. Endlessly fascinating characters. What else?

Sometimes the chemistry of a film just works and in this one John Hughes has his masterpiece.

Matthew Broderick and Alan Ruck were friends before the film, even doing a Broadway show at the same time (Biloxi Blues) and so their rapport is just supreme. Mia Sara is Ferris' beautiful girlfriend and she fits right in as the kids make a threesome on the town during the "day off". She is the glue that holds them together in many scenes.

This is a character actor's paradise. So many small scenes. So many big ones. Jeffery Jones was the high school Dean who is going to track Ferris down. Perfect. So many others.

The huge parade scene, Twist and Shout, is goose bump delightful.

I need to watch this film every year or so. I do not plan it. Something comes up and wham! It is time for Ferris. I check in to see how the kids are doing and they are doing just fine.

A mark of a great movie is that there are still scenes and lines that surprise me. It has lasted through many viewings.

This is a classic 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: best films, best movies, films

This is a Mexican Firebird outside the front wall. Not ours but I treat it like it is.

Labels: flowers

In good hands.

Takes on a new meaning. Very nice.

Labels: gay identity, gay rights

In the old days, "eating Chinese" meant a can of La Choy Chow Mein and a can or bag of their dry noodles.

Of course, in these days of sophisticated eating experiences the open a can approach is frowned on if not actually disdained.

I moved on, as we did with restaurants, to other forms of what we now call "Asian" food.

But, when the chips are down, chinese is fucking chinese and there is no way around it. It is the "meat and potatoes" of oriental cuisine.

So, every once in awhile I put aside the dim sung and the advanced egg rolls and just get the three can meal provided by La Choy (a US conglomerate). The same meal that my mother served. My wife served. I served. And still have today.

I carefully follow directions. Cook the chicken and the sauce hard then dump in the vegetables and just warm those up.

Serve the wet parts over rice and accompany with the dry noodles.

I suppose that we could just have the noodles but putting that canned stuff out on a cold plate does not appeal. And I do not, as a rule, do the combining of things like the dries and the wets. This should be done by the diner to suit himself.

I am really just fessing up here. I do buy the Changs products and some of the others as well. All good. But hands down nothing can quite come up to good old Chef La Choy out of a can.

Labels: cooking

I went to get a haircut yesterday.

I had been doing it myself for quite awhile.

It started over some personal shit with my old hair cutter. I told myself that it was just that I wanted it short and so I went for the shaver.

And that is true. I did like it short. And then, recently, I was done with it.

I let it grow some and went to a whatever we call them now.

I went to a barber until I was in my thirties. Then I went to Norman who was a stylist. At that time, hair was a big deal. Not because it was long. We were over that. But because hair was a big deal.

Everyone had to have razor cuts or something. Barber barbers were left in the dust.

This is also the era when hair care products became something one bought in a shop not in the drug store.

Then for me it was all over. I had enough. I went to the buzz like a lot of other men. I did have relapses from time to time but basically I do not like anyone fucking with my hair. No reason. I don't like it. Personal space maybe. I don't know.

A loss of control? Maybe.

A bit too much in the direction of a femme outlook? Low on butch. Maybe but I don't think so.

I just don't like anyone messing with me.

But I got to know this guy and felt more secure. He did a good job. Listened and "did what he was told". I suppose it has to do also with the fact that I have thinning hair. That sounds better than balding, eh? It is actually pattern baldness. A retrenchment.

So anything that makes me look a little less bald and a little more hirsute, is good.

I am happy.

Labels: hair

I never heard a live concert until I went to MIT as a freshman.

The first one I went to was given by the folk singer Pete Seeger.

They did it in the main lecture hall so the ambience was not ideal. But he took it over. Commanded would be the word.

There is bit of the schoolmarm in Seeger. "This will be good for you, now take your medicine".

He is a bit defensive. I don't remember that when I saw him live but it is evident in the DVD I got to try to recapture that moment.

Pete Seger: Live in Australia 1963

The sound is very good, the video a bit grainy.

The show is just the show. There is a bit of political leakage but not a lot.

It is hard to remember that it was Seeger and a very few others who revived "folk music" at the time and have kept it alive while other younger artists have continued the long tradition.

Seeger's forté is to teach along with the entertainment and it is nice to see him at work. Also to remember a time when all this was very new for me. It was a good choice to start out listening to this kind man.

This is a disc that I purchased so no one will ask me to rate it. But it would be a 4 out of 5 as I will see it again. I know I will because I bailed out of the last 30 minutes. An hour and a half is a lot of folk music.

This film is great for people watching. It is 1963. We were all just emerging from the cocoon. It was entertainers like this that kind of kicked us out of the malaise. Folk singers did not dress up. Neither did the crowd.

Some of the boys in the front are obviously gay. All but holding hands with each other. It won't be long before they will be able to and that they will. Nothing like a little liberal sentiment in a folk song to bring out the courage. It is surprising, actually, how many classics are about a form of coming out and fighting back. Made to order for gay men and women.

Labels: films, music

Speculation abounds over the Coachella Valley visit by the Obamas this weekend.

Barack Obama, Michelle Obama arrive in Palm Springs

There is no announced purpose to their stay. It appears to be totally recreational or as recreational as a President can be while he is still the most powerful person in the "free world" (as we used to say but not now as it is not PC).

It is very exciting and stirs people up a lot here.

Today there will be a lot of people talking about seeing them. Notice, a lot of desert appropriate white limos in the entourage.

I do not go out to watch. I am too cool for that.

But I do get a tingle from knowing that the plane is there. I will see it soon this morning on my way to a meeting, and of course, somewhere they are having a good time here.

It is very beautiful and with a hundred twenty golf courses he will have all the turf doffing he can get.

Labels: desert, The Obamas

Today's film was actually a comedy tape, a standup show.

Lewis Black: In God We Rust (2012)

If you don't know Lewis Black, you might want to make his acquaintance. This would be a painless way of doing it.

He is not to everyone's taste. But who knows, he might be to yours.

Try this:

Labels: comedy, films

An MIT boy is never finished with being graded.

True to form, the interviewees that I see each year, applicants for admission, are asked to rate their interview on a scale of 1-5.

This year I got all "5's" but for two "4's".

Good for me.

Of course, my reaction is that something was wrong, I should have done better, what could I do to improve this? Why not all "5's"?

And that is just the reason that they have these things. Grade anxiety.

We had quizzes every Friday in Freshman year and I was near crapping my pants every week.

It takes a long time to get over this even if graduation came and went and it is all over. I might even dream about this tonight. Also that I am taking the final and haven't ever gone to class.

The two who gave me a 4 were women. This is often the case. I am a bit puzzled by this but, then again, as a gay man I do not respond to the normal "cues" that are out there. Or it could just be the odds.

I do not mean there is anything wrong with this. It is the way of the world.

Nor am I self pitying about it. I am the interviewer after all and I get to be whoever, however I am. It is the old thing about not tailoring my approach to fit other people's expectations. Fashionable or otherwise.

An example. Not my course. But it is the same thing. These are not trivial.

Labels: MIT

The term "evolved" is loaded with many meanings. Mostly it signifies weaseling.

Terry Gross has her way with Hillary who denies that she ever was "against" gay marriage.

Terry Gross is dogged. And Hillary will not bend. She has a lot of trouble with this issue and with gay people as does her husband. We do not trust her.

Here is another problem. The Clintons have always had problems with fessing up. And here it is again. It is well known that she took one position and now has taken another and that she probably did so because it was politically expedient. Why can't she just admit it. The Clintons are all about expediency. We know that. We forgive them. Sorta.

If she was just honest, then she would not have to go through these gyrations.

Clinton really screws the pooch (so to speak) when she says that "everyone was surprised that gay marriage was an issue" and includes Terry Gross as one of those people. She forgets that Gross is an out and outspoken lesbian. Poor prep.

I don't want to make too much of this but it is patented Clinton doublespeak and one of the reasons that, while I suppose I would have to vote for her against "any" Republican, I would be holding my nose when I did it.

I desperately wish that another Democrat would step forward. But they probably won't. The Clintons are political killers and they obviously feel that this is her time. They would work very hard to save themselves for this moment.

Labels: gay marriage, Hillary Clinton

Today's film was not quite a biopic.

More of an appreciation.

Harry Dean Stanton: Partly Fiction

Stanton is in the "whattaguy" category of film actors.

An actor first, then an unforgettable personality.

We actually know him already from the over 200 parts he has played as a "character actor", the title they give to actors who are so good and yet never get a lead.

As I expected, he is a very interesting guy. He has an ego but it has been kept in check by the limits of how he is used.

He works all the time and he almost always has gotten to play "himself" which he says is a blessing. Of course we know and he knows that "playing yourself" takes incredible focus and preparation. It is a matter of selecting the best part to bring forth at the particular moment.

I liked him as a person as much as I have looked forward to seeing him in a movie. Anytime, anywhere.

There is a lot of other interesting stuff in this film. People he has played with, friends, film history.

Very nice.

I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5 as I could watch it again without a second's hesitation.

Labels: actors, film

It is Thursday and there is nothing going on.

This is a good thing.

There are no Board meetings, no program meetings, no meet ups with any individuals and John leaves in about an hour for most of the day.

It is like Saturday morning. A vast sea of nothing to do.

A part of me panics when I contemplate this ocean of non-activity but it is good for me.

Things will happen soon enough.

I think that I expected retirement to be like this. A big white space with nothing in it.

But it has not turned out that way.

And, to tell the truth, there has been some thing today already and there will likely be more.

I got stirring the shit pot on an architectural violations just down the street from me. Found out that no one is charged with enforcing our spanking new rules and regulations. At least not officially. Not a good thing.

So I have been a busy bee getting an agenda item on it. There is a Board meeting a week from Saturday and up to now I had no "issue". I like to have something.

Now I am well equipped to have a lively Meeting.

As for today, I will probably go read a book right now.

Labels: life

The US Catholic Bishops certainly have their heads up their asses.

We knew that.

I just like to repeat it.

Plus les choses changent, plus elles restent les mêmes

Catholic Bishops Keep Focus on Abortion, Marriage

Labels: gay marriage, religionists, right wing bastards

Today, the analysis continues.

By tomorrow, no one will give a shit.

A lot of it is the standard stuff. Immigration, cross voting Democrats (which becomes increasingly discredited) but the real nut, as I pointed out yesterday was probably Cantor himself. An insufferably arrogant little prick.

Matt Bai agrees. Do we care any more? Just one more time.

Cantor Didn't Need to Move Right He Needed to Get Real

Hubris my friends. "With all due respect".

Don't let the door smack you on the ass on your way out Eric!

Labels: GOP, Republicans, right wing, world class assholes.

Growing up in China at the end of the Cultural Revolution has to be a very unique experience.

A very special time and a historical moment is going on around you and you see glimpses, hear bits of information, sense the changes that are taking place everywhere.

How do I know this? Because I just finished watching

11 Flowers (2011)

This film, made by a French company with all Chinese talent, follows the mundane daily lives of a small family. The boy is the film's writer director. He narrates.

This is a beautiful film but it also has scary moments that break into the bucolic life of the group of preteen boys who are seeing history unfold around them.

Nothing is direct. We are asked to watch and listen and observe this going on. It is very moving.

I liked this film a lot and would have no trouble seeing it again. There is so much filling every frame. I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

We do not get to see huge landmark events in recent politics.

But this is a shocker to everyone.

Eric Cantor to Step Down as Majority Leader

It is a precipitous fall in a "take it for granted" career. He was thought to be the successor to Boehner. Not now.

Experts seem to differ on what happened. One is that the nasty right got him right where we would like to see someone of his ilk gotten. Another is that in an open primary a lot of Democrats crossed over to give Eric a big black eye.

Whatever the case, it is an interesting development and probably not good news.

It is almost laughable to think of Cantor as a liberal voice but he was that for his party. One of the few. They will now be an endangered species. And anyone seeking to moderate, to work with the Obamas, will be seen as a traitor to a newly amplified cause.

For Democrats, in the short term, it is just a pain in the ass. His power is gone and it took only a day for the rabble to eat him whole. Scrambling to take his place. No one to work with now. A new face.

In the longer term it is just one more step in the long retrenchment of the GOP into a minority party with little to say for itself but archaic negativity and mossback points of view.

It cannot be good news for them.

Time will tell.

I suppose there are some factors that will reveal themselves on closer reporting. Evidently Cantor's electorate thought him insufficient. Whether that is in his loyalty to the tea partyish thinking or his neglect or them as "his people" is not too clear. Maybe the Democrats did take revenge with crossovers.

Maybe it is a lot simpler than that.

Cantor has always struck me as a supercilious bastard. A priss. A dogmatist without any core. Perhaps even a poseur. An empty shell.

It does seem that he took things a little for granted a little too long in his district. Tip Oneil always said that people expected you to ask for their vote. Simple enough. But a lot of guys get busy with being the GUY to remember that. A bit too big for their boots. In need of an ego trim.

Cantor strikes me as that kind of guy.

A jerk who needs to get jerked out of his seat.

Whatever the case, I do not think that he will standout in history for much of anything but ambition. Ego. To be the guy. And that is a pretty low bar to cross.

Labels: GOP, politics, right wing, world class assholes.

I love school teachers but they have gained far too much power for their own or anyone else's good.

That power seems to be draining away. Here is what happened out here.

California Teacher Tenure Laws Ruled Unconstitutional

My Dad was a school board member. They fought this battle every year one way or another and this was 60 years ago.

Some of my best friends are teachers, or retired teachers. But the idea that lousy teachers cannot be fired is a lousy idea. It always has been. Will always be.

What happens here is the practice of taking lousy teachers and letting them drop to the bottom of the barrel with poor schools, marginal students and so on. But those people are fighting back. They don't want those lousy teachers either. They also have considerable political power in California right now.

I am encouraged by this.

Labels: education

What a nice day!

While the power was scheduled to be out we got in the car and went to Idyllwild for lunch.

That means going out east in our valley to Palm Desert, then up CA74 which is a loopy windy road, so fun to drive in the new car, up 5000 feet to Mountain Center where we had lunch at a favorite spot.

Then out and on to the town of Idyllwild where we think we will stop and get out and never do.

What is the problem do you think?

It is a nice tourist place. A lot of people go there.

I think that my particular problem is that it totally reminds me of the Poconos where I grew up. Woodsy. Rural. Poor looking little stores. A village trying to be a town but they didn't plan for it. There is, of all things, Village sprawl.

No "there" to walk to. No "where" to go. No "then" either, as in "then what will we do?".

So we kept going, got out to pee at a roadside stop, in the woods, and then on down the mountain and back to PS.

That took us 4 hours and when we got back the electrical had just come back on and it would appear that the work is done. The power company trucks were all lined up out on the main street biding their time until quitting.

The guys hanging out for a bs session. How do I know that? I have malingered with "the guys" all my life and I can smell it. If I had been walking I would have joined up. Probably not, really. Not my guys and it is too hot. But if I was with the power company, for sure. Right in the middle. I am a lone who does well in a group. Still "alone" in the crowd, but in a good way.

I digress. We are back at the house and the power is back on. From the clocks, which I just set all around, the power was off three hours at least.

The air conditioning is still catching up and the refrigerator was off 8 degrees.

Ingenious. It was a very good idea to take off. John and I had it about the same time. We have been together too long or nicely long enough to have similar inspirations. No nap is long enough to last through this blackout. Although I do have my iPad so I could have done some shit while it was off. Do you believe that I actually took it with me? So sick.

One other thing. The last time we did this trip we had Booker with us. Sitting up in the back of the SUV all eyes and ears. I remember that we were following a horse trailer and he got all excited. He had been around horses at least when he was in the interim before he came to live with us. This is how he reappears to me now. With memories. Nice ones. He is still very much in my heart.

Labels: Booker, car rides, condo, husbands

The power is being shut off and on and off and on today from about 11 AM to 4 PM.

Some mumbo jumbo about improving our service.

"A small sacrifice". Well, they didn't actually say that but it amounts to the same thing.

I am turning off the computers to avoid surge problems and we are taking off for the day to the mountains for lunch and a bit of a run around. We haven't done that for awhile.

When I was a kid, of a Sunday afternoon, my Dad would announce that we were going to take "a ride". We never knew where and what we would encounter. Well, maybe he did but I don't think so.

In those days pre television and all the other stuff this is one thing that passed for entertainment. A little gas, a little sight seeing. Home in a few hours. These were nice times. An occasion where there seemed to be a truce between my parents and my Dad was allowed to steer and decide without criticism and bickering. Or worse, pouting.

Me in the back seat doing my fantasy stuff as we went along.

I inherited this bug for driving aimlessly. I began when I was first allowed to drive. They had no idea where I went. I had some money so unless my Dad checked the milage they couldn't tell because of gas.

I was a lonely kid and this was a way to be busy alone. I didn't want or need company. A born isolator.

I don't do the ride thing anymore. Not for a long time. The urge went away I guess as business and personal stuff sent me running all around the world.

But today, we will take a ride to avoid the lights off/on thing. Idyllwild, on to the 10 over the mountain and then maybe up the other mountain to the little towns along the ridge we look at from our house. Morongo Valley, Yucca Valley, 29 Palms. Dinner out since I "won't have time" to make it when we get home. Well, I will have other things to do.

Labels: automobiles, electric power, travel

Hot in more ways than one.

I love this photo from Bend Oregon.

The couple in question had scheduled their outdoor wedding near where this fire began raging. They moved the whole thing in town but got this photo before they went indoors. The story is here.

Labels: fire, photography, photos, wedding

Trying to find answers that aren't there.

The Happy Sad

Two young couples, straight, lesbian and gay, try to find an answer to the confusion of being, well, young couples!

Something no one has so far figured out but they are trying and in the meantime we get to watch the process unfold.

This is a nice film and no one gets hurt, really.

Is that so? I am not sure actually.

But the trip is nice because it is someone else's pain and we can nod our heads in identification. There are no villains. There are no heroes. There are just nice guys and girls. Just people trying to get along and find someone to do it with. It. Have a relationship whatever that is.

One couple is gay and one of the dalliances is lesbianic which just goes to show that it is an equal opportunity problem.

I would see it again but not go out of the way to do so. Been there, done that. Twice. That makes it a 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films, gay films

Current Conditions: Fair 94°F Humidity18% Wind Speedcalm Barometer29.71 in (1005.6 mb) Dewpoint44°F (7°C) Visibility10.00 mi Heat Index90°F (32°C)

Labels: weather

And look! He won a Tony last night.

Best actor in a musical for “Hedwig and the Angry Inch,” which also won best musical revival.

I had a video of his speech but they took it away. Copyright infringements and stuff. CBS. Corporate hogs.

As it turns out, this is much much better.

Labels: theater

Labels: GOP, wingnuts

Go here right now.

Drawing Cristiano Ronaldo!

I love to look at him and here we have the sloooooow observation.

Labels: art, football

We have taken out both rugs in the dining area.

Not momentous news but it is probably questionable that we had two. The bottom one was old and worn out. But I loved it dearly. The top one, gotten later, was intended to cover the faults of the old grey one which we left inlace as a pad to soften the hardness of the new tight weave topper.

It really did not work. The new rug never wanted to completely lie flat. So it was a constant trip hazard. And, of course, since it was on a rug and not the bare floor, it could not be taped down.

So the vote was a unanimous "to hell with it all" and today we took both rugs out, and rolled them for pickup by the local Goodwill look alike, a gay version called Revivals. We went to bare floor.

It is already a blessing. The chairs pull out easily. There is, naturally, no tripping.

We have a "Mexican" saltillo tile, a local standby, throughout the condo. It is a bit aged looking. Every room. Different shades for each tile. "Paw prints" where theoretical animals ran over the drying tiles. I suspect a hand stamp where someone presses a fake paw print for authenticity.

They are nice looking, we do not wax or varnish them, a sacrilege to do that, and I enjoy looking at their various shades and textures.

An improvement over the old rug. Total.

Labels: condo

Today's movie is a samurai picture with a gay twist. A winner at Cannes in its year.

Gohatto / Taboo (1999)

Young samurai have a close bond which, as it turns out, has a sexual component.

Older men observe and conspire to use the young men to carry out their own agendas.

The theme of the repressed violence of samurai training and the forbidden desires of men for men in close quarters leads to an explosion of lust and murder. The murder is carried out in the ceremonial manner.

All samurai pictures carry similar themes. But, in most cases, the violence is unleashed at opponents on the battlefield. Here, it is among their own cadre.

The leading man is extremely handsome and has a good bit of the feminine about him. In this respect it is a bit too airy fairy as the attraction to him by other men seems to fit a bit more of the butch fem variety. But this is old style cinema where the men are men and the gay men are somehow to blame for the stuff that goes on. This film stands that on its ear by showing an understanding elder, Beat Takashi (who I adore) and a cast of other men who treat the whole homosexual angle as just another aspect of their life together.

Some of the boys have girl troubles too and there is competition for their attention although all of the women in this film seem to be prostitutes. There is a wonderfully camp sequence when a prostitute tries to turn the gay boy's interest away from men. It is easy to see why he would not be interested. But I am gay too.

I like this film a lot and as it is a repeater it gets a 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films, gay films

That would be "net neutrality".

Now we all use the internet. A lot. We are the internet dependent generation. Make that plural, generations.

It is important to know what the business end of a utility looks like. But we have commissions and shit to look after all the utilities. But none for the internet. Really.

So the FCC does or does not do its job. What do we care?

A lot, as it happens.

This is one of the best explanations for this whole thing that I have seen so far. And it is from, of all things, the new John Oliver show. He has a cogent, clear wit. The best kind.

Here is a summary text: John Oliver Explains Net Neutrality

"They shouldn't call it 'Protecting Net Neutrality' they should call it 'Stopping Cable Company F*ckery,'" Oliver shouts to a wildly cheering audience.

And here is the video which is rather long but worth it if you really really care about this. As you should. It won't hurt to watch this. You will get pissed off but you will laugh while you are enraging.

Labels: internet

Quick. Guess which of the most recent Presidents had the most, the least, the growingest or the slowest growth in government jobs.

You know. The people who suck off the public tit. Not welfare but "government work".

When I was a kid, the phrase "government work" meant a slacker's job. Something easy. I am not sure this is the case any longer.

OK. How did the presidents stack up for government work employees?

Reagan? I bet he cut the shit out of those people living off our tax money. Or, how about George Herbert Walker Fucking Bush? Was he a trimmer of the damned goof offs in government? How about Carter, the christian wimp? Too kind to cut. Could it be Clinton? That lefty? While he was running around screwing everything in sight was the government work force growing out of control? And what about the anointed son, W? The one initial pres. A half or a third of the usual initials. Short of a load. I bet he cut the bejeezus out of those spongers on the payroll. Even the dumbest winger can wield an axe. Finally, Obama. Looking to even the score for those lazy black folks who were so badly treated by the GOoPers?

Well, the answer is here. Hold onto your hats.

Who reduced the payroll? The only goddam one of them to do so.

By now you probably have guessed that this is a trick question but not really. It is just that you, like I, have a twisted idea of who adds and who subtracts from the government when they have a chance to do so.

Of course, some of you might say that it is really the Congress who supports these numbers high or low. In a way, you would be right. But it is the Congress who is most pigging up to the trough at budget time. A skillful politician, one who was able to cut the size of the government work force, would have to be a canny politician to fool these money hogs long enough into beating their brains out at budget time. Right? Right.

Labels: Administration Obama, GOP, Presidents

The desert is the first line of serious damage to nature from climate change.

This wonderful article, full of photos, is from our local paper. Miraculously produced by a small town, usually second rate bunch of newsies, it is a complete and thorough enough summary of the status of desert warming that we are likely to find.

Struggle for Survival by Ian James.

I have to hand it to them. It is a superbly written and illustrated story of a slow motion train wreck.

I have spent enough time in the desert, walking and looking around, to have seen many of these animals or their traces. When we were first here I traipsed through all the parks and preserves. Not so much now.

It was amazing to realize how much life was in the desert. Little flowers, small plants. Scurrying sounds, animals fleeing my invasion. I have seen the horned toads and the little desert rat/mouse. No turtles except in preserves where they were being taken care of.

This turtle has a little green on his mouth. Grass stains. He is a vegetarian, eats plant food. He is living pretty well then. They don't look for much. But it is being denied them.

There are several preserves here that cater to the lost and damaged animals that are found. They have exhibits. The Desert Museum here had an outstanding collection but they moved it and put in all art. The stress of an artificial life was too much. It was an act of kindness to move the animals to a more natural place.

There has been over a one degree change in the average temperature here. A lot, actually. And a long protracted drought in all of California.

It is getting harder and harder to scoff at the statistics and the narratives of people who stalk and walk the deserts on a regular basis. They count, they observe, they despair at the losses they find. Empty turtle shells seem the saddest. These are prehistoric creatures after all and have made it this far.

Many animals and birds will be able to move north or to change their habitat. Not so the turtle. He moves very slowly and needs his food close by.

It is encouraging that there is clear desert all the way north for a very long distance before the mountains begin. But then, it is all uphill.

We have built highways and roads in so many places this puts a considerable burden on any ability any animal has to migrate.

Take a look at the interactive map. It is upsetting but shows what is going on more graphically. What we have is not so much moving habitat but more concentrated islands of survival. This can only mean a tighter and narrowing retrenchment until there is nothing left at all.

Labels: desert, global warming

Today's movie was filmed around Palm Springs, in the desert at Joshua Tree National Park.

Seven Psychopaths (2012)

And it does have its moments but for the most part it is a mess.

I wanted to see it because it is written and directed by Martin McDonagh. I am watching all of his. Well, there aren't that many.

I am not sure what goes wrong here. The stars are all in place. Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson and Christopher Walken. The story isn't bad. There is a cute dog. But the whole thing doesn't gel. Too bad. It has great scenery. Very familiar. You can only go a few places in Joshua Tree Park and you can see that they were pretty much constrained to those specific spots. I guess movie people don't get any slack around the rules either.

I didn't count the psychopaths. It is actually a title of a play or movie script which, no surprise, it turns out the film's script. Or something. It doesn't quite work.

One thing that is fun is that the scenes in L.A. are pretty much the same as the ones used in the the last one I saw.

I am wandering but so does the film.

I liked all the little parts though. Like I said. I would put this down as a 3 out of Netflix5. Just not one of his best.

Labels: films

Alan Gilbert is conductor of the NY Philharmonic.

In his short tenure, he has turned the Orchestra on its ear with many new works. Everyone is very happy with this. Well, as happy as some audiences get about having to listen to something other than the old war-horses.

In a New York Times today, an article about retiring players:

There has been much talk about the retirement of Glenn Dicterow, the Philharmonic’s longest-serving concertmaster, who is stepping down after 34 years.

Somehow another coming violin retirement has received less attention, though it affects Mr. Gilbert personally.

His mother, the respected violinist Yoko Takebe, is leaving after 35 years. She will join Mr. Gilbert’s father, Michael Gilbert, also a longtime Philharmonic violinist, in retirement.

What wild things might we expect from the adventurous Alan Gilbert now that he will no longer have parental oversight among the players?

The idea of working with your parents as part of the "company" is a stretch but one of the nice outcomes of a family's devotion to music or any single art. In the family photo below, Sister Jennifer, concertmaster of the Orchestre National de Lyon is on the left, then Gilbert, Mom and Dad.

Labels: music, parents

Closing down dirty air doesn't seem to have a penalty at all.

As usual, the wing nuts dire predictions turn out to be flimsy.

The "aginners", the ones who are against anything Obama wants to do, whine and writhe over stuff just for the sake of whining and writhing.

Here we go again.

In Some States, Emissions Cuts Defy Skeptics

And this is just a few states where the states themselves have put on the clamps. Wait until the big ones come on line.

I am not a big thumper for the environment, really. But I can smell a special interest when it comes on the scene and tells blatant lies in its own interest. Then, the when the lie belies the reality, I can see that these people know they are fucking it up and are trying to go around the end to save some money. At my expense. Cough cough.

We don't have much pollution here. Nature does the worst of it with the occasional sand storm or silica cloud. It is "natural dust" that is settling in my lungs these days.

Not much we can do about this stuff. But to pour more in? No. Bad enough with the cars from the 10 and local travel from time to time when the air "inverts".

There is no doubt that the air is "thicker" now than it was when we moved here 16 years ago. But we are doing it to ourselves. Somehow that seems more intimately dangerous, closer to home at least.

Labels: air pollution, environment