esrosedotblog

The Chinese have acquired one of the most popular gay male phone apps.

Grindr Sells Stake to Chinese Company

Over half the single gay men I know have Grindr on their phones.

Grindr serves the same purpose as the personal ads did in my day. A way to meet as many men as possible in as short a time as convenient. In the old days, we had to go to gay bars to look over the available guys. Then the personal ads showed up but they were frought.

Unsurprisingly many guys were not very honest in their self description.

30ish GWM seeks same for romantic nights and happy times. Love movies, candlelight and good talk. Swimmer's build, big dick and stamina in the sack desired--no fems no fatties no sm

Well, not really but you get the idea.

John and I met through a personal ad. I met a lot of guys that way. The rules were simple and probably the same today. Meet on neutral ground for a drink, nothing longer. Keep the next couple of hours open in case it worked out. Always always always let a friend know where you were and where you were going with bracketing phone calls.

Some of it was cruel. I once drove past a meeting spot and didn't like the looks of a guy and then never showed up. The same or similar happened to me.

I do not know if Grindr is different but there is the advantage of a quick response and an almost encyclopedic choice of the men available right now.

The old joke. "I'm not looking for Mr. Right, I want Mr. Right Now"

So, in a way, the more things change the more they stay the same.

You have to remember that it is men who use this thing. Who cruise. Who select. It is instinctive. The instinct to spread as much seed as possible is taken seriously. Straight men who may cluck at this have no fucking idea. Really.

But I digress.

The news here is really really that the Chinese have bought this. A Chinese company! The RED Chinese, the repressive society.

Well, it is no secret that the Chinese like their sex. Red hot. Quick and Red-dy. Actually that are not really "red" any more. If they ever were. That is an artifact of the cold war.

They have repressed gays though. Seriously. And still do. So it is hypocritical.

Wouldn't it be interesting if they were buying Grindr in a step toward world domination in the sex industry as a way to gain control over the masses?

Amusing. But in the scheme of things, we are talking about sex here. When the heat is on and the panting begins, gay or straight, ideology goes out the window. And if it doesn't it is a lousy lay and you never go back. I have had a few politicos in my bed. A long time ago. As a category they are a little too fond of the dialectic. Materialistic or not. Talk is a downer. A wilter. Cold water on the need to connect.

Grindr skips all of that. Right to the chase.

Labels: gay life, gay sex, internet

Fascinating account of a compulsive traveler.

Up in the Air: Meet the Man Who Flies Around the World for Free

He only knows airports and airport plane life.

What is more, he is gay and he has a boyfriend. They often fly together. Even have sex in the plane.

I love this kind of thing. Not only weird fantasies but the dedication to live them out.

I traveled for a long long time and I get some of the attractions.

All strangers, all friendly service, nice surroundings, clubs, food (although many will not agree with this but note that he flies first class most of the time).

He is probably addicted in a strange way and if you are an addict then this is not too bad a way to do it.

In any event it gets you in Rolling Stone which should abolish his anonymity. A kind of suicide pact. His free travel days might be over.

However a lot of what he does is not illegal although the airlines continue to try to head him off and make it so.

Labels: gay life, travel

There is a long standing belief that gay men talk differently from the straights.

Of course, this is bullshit on the specifics but what about the aggregate? I would say that I have always thought some men sounded effeminate. That is different than gay of course. Some of the straightest men I have known have been fem, as we would say.

Take a look at this though.

Who Sounds Gay?

The conclusion here is that some men, gay or straight, have some sibilance in their s's (a standard tipoff) and that there are straight men who even flutter their hands when they speak.

The whole thing is confused further by the fact that for a long time, some gay men tried to hide their homo-ness while others, figuring the game was lost anyway, let loose and adopted the queeny voice of the gay diva. A way to fit in.

For me, I think, I am bilingual!

I have a gay presentation which I came into the world with. I was certainly branded early as a sissy. Not the same thing, incidentally. Another complication.

I also grew up in an intensely straight, mountain man hillbilly, culture in which you could get beaten up for that kind of talk.

So defensively I learned to talk from my Dad who was butch for days. And more love to him for that. He took my being gay much more easily than my mother who never ever got over it.

Of course, there is a key thing. I loved my Dad unreservedly and so I took all I could from him including his speech. I rejected my mother and while I stayed as a technical son and did my duty I refused to conform to her bidding.

I do think that she formed my sissiness but then when I fought back that faded.

But did it. I have listened and watched myself for years. My profession. Talking in public, coaching others. Hours of videotape.

I should say here that I never suffered the terrible self consciousness of other people at hearing themselves speak or watching themselves on video. In fact, it was my job to provide these experiences as a valuable learning tool.

In any case, I do think there is a "gay" sound to my talk. Some of it is innate. The sissiness, fem stuff. Some of it is acquired. And in a group of sissified gay men I can hold my own.

But I am not good at being a Queen Bee. The almost professional fem personality which for years was revered by many gay men. I know a few of these and love them. But there is an unconscious attempt on their part to signal their gayness, I think. Unnecessary in fact. They are girls at heart. And that is something else again. A femme who happens to be gay.

Labels: gay life, gay talk, gender

Today's film is from our DVD library.

I have seen it several times with great pleasure.

Spinnin' (2012)

The Brazilians have it all over us. They can make a sensible, friendly, gay romantic comedy and, in this case, throw in a bit of fatherhood with surrogate mothers and all that. A delightful gay couple step up to the plate and when life happens they decide to step up even more.

This film is way ahead of its time. It deals with issues that the good old USA is beginning to grapple with.

Not that this has stopped gay men who wanted to have kids at all. Society is always many steps behind.

This is a sweet romantic comedy with wonderful people and a great outlook.

A 5 out of Netflix5 by definition since I bought it at the first viewing.

Labels: films, gay adoption, gay films, gay life, gay rights.

Another start.

So many false starts. And then the jump.

And there we are. Where we were all the time but free.

Labels: gay life

And go out and buy a bottle!

Times sure are a-changin'.

Labels: gay friends, gay life, gay marriage, gay rights

I have written about Fun Home the wonderful comic strip by Alison Bechdel moving to Broadway from Off.

Bechdel herself had little to do with the musical except of course, write the original graphic novel Fun Home which I cherish.

Now an interview in depth as Alison takes in the whole NYC thing.

She has been there for awhile "helping out" and obviously glorying in the success which she has worked decades to realize.

We also get to meet her in a way that shows what she is like. Pretty good. And her feet seemed to have stayed firmly on the ground through it all.

Labels: gay life

White is the color of virgins.

Not here. This is the White Party Weekend in Palm Springs.

For a night, a weekend, white is the slutty color. Or non color.

I don't even have a link. Do it yourself.

I do not want to be mean but this event is beginning to show its age a bit.

Four days of party is a long time and it takes a champ to endure it.

In Miami, they made over-40 gays to pay a cover charge. Really.

We will not see any of it but we will hear some. The thump thump thump of the disco beat will resonate over the desert far and wide.

It is held in the convention center. It is that big.

I just mention it because it is a big boost to our economy and it is happening and I think it is a good thing. Really.

I had my days. We even tried to go to one once but chickened out. And it was in Miami! I am glad we didn't go. We got to see all the "babes" on South Beach anyway. Getting ready for the prom.

Thump thump thump. Have fun boys.

This is the outside portion in Palm Springs, daylight. Probably only half of the men who got up in time.

Labels: gay life, Party

I have been reading Alison Bechdel's cartoon strip for a very long time.

Some of the strips have ended up in the blog.

Now, excitement. A Broadway show! That was an off Broadway show.

Alison seems to be enjoying herself. As she should.

‘Fun Home,’ the Musical, Takes Alison Bechdel’s Life to Broadway

It is all supposed to be pretty close to real life.

"Fun Home" is the name given to her Dad's funeral home where Bechdel grew up. Her dad was also a closeted gay man. You can see the complexities of such a family. Hide and seek 24/7.

The thing about this strip is that it is wise to many things. Gay life. Social hypocrisies. Lesbians. Not much known about that. At least not in your comic section.

I am glad to see she has made the big time. Very happy. Another rung on the gay/lesbian ladder to full social recognition.

Labels: gay books, gay life, theater

Today's film was the sixth episode of Looking, the gay centric video series.

It is San Francisco where anything can happen. But it is surprisingly tame and domestic. And not much happens.

Lovers come and go, some stay and quarrel, some are looking for something that isn't there. In other words, normal every day life.

The production is pretty good and Jonathan Groff is appropriately clueless with a little sexiness added. Fortunately he has savvy friends who help him along.

It is supposed to be pretty accurate about gay life these SFO days.

I doubt it. But I have not been there in a long while.

The series is enjoyable with or without the gay slant, I think. It is a soap opera. A genré that has a long history for legs, the soaps. Long running.

I have to remember that this is television. Things do not have to resolve. Nothing has to be too good. Everything is open for debate.

I am not sure I will stay for the next season or even make it through the second one.

A weak 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: gay life, television

Labels: gay couples, gay history, gay life, gay marriage

A television series is hard to commit to.

There is so much and when I get to it finally on word of mouth, it is a mixed bag. Hard to find the gold nuggets in the pan.

I did hit pay dirt with the first episode of

Looking (2014)

A gay series set in San Francisco, of course.

The first episode of these things is always fraught. They are trying to introduce most of the series' characters so it is a series of short bits. In this case it works. Each has a bite. And leaves the desire to take another taste which I will do as I took a risk and bought the DVD of the first season.

I think that it is an honest depiction of a kind of gay life. A bit broader than bars and bushes. Rather a lot broader.

And yet they have not done much to "normalize" the life of these men. They are gay from head to toe and in-between.

It is nicely chaste, but not too much so. A nice session of making love. The people are appealing. I think that I will stick around.

At least a 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: gay life, television

It is amusing to see competition for the most gay friendly cities in Texas.

Gay Rights Rivalry: As Dallas Celebrates Higher HRC Score, Fort Worth Aims toGet Back On Top

On top.

Best wishes to them both. Since they are both in Texas there is plenty of space for everyone.

Despite its general reputation, Texas has been ahead on gay matters from the beginning. So it is not too surprising that cities would compete for the rainbow flag.

Somehow, Austin has always been gay in my mind but that is probably because I have known so many guys from there who fly the rainbow flag.

Labels: gay life

If you hang out on the gay internet, it is inevitable that you will encounter the Studlebrity.

This is often a middle ground between soft porn and personal blog where a good looking young man displays his life for all to see. Or what he wants them to see.

I admit to some regular studlebrity visits on a daily basis.

What is the appeal here? What is their motivation? How does it work.

There is a DVD called Studlebrity which approaches these questions in a half baked way and that was today's movie.

I don't think it had much more than interviews with these guys which you could find on their very own sites.

There are a few talking head analysts who comment lamely on the scene.

What it boils down to is more prolonged eye candy shots for the voyeur. Me.

There is a phenomena that is interesting and that is where two of these guys met and got together. I watch one such couple now and it is interesting to see whether the public nature of their activities will affect their off screen time.

Of course, this is hard to evaluate and so, while I am mildly curious, I just watch and enjoy what I see and move on to more serious fare. It is mostly fluff but at some level these guys are role models for young gay men. But we have learned that there are role models and then there is real life and being a celebrity can be a kind of prison. More of this kind of examination might help this DVD which I will not see again.

The guy in the picture is Ethan Hethcote who ended up with another blogger Mark E. Miller and now they do a joint vlog on Mark Miller's blog site.

They are the most interesting couple that I have seen so far. It has been fun to follow the growth of their relationship.

Years ago I watched a similar blog called Chaos in Austin which is still alive but more as a porn site. I enjoyed it very much. They didn't mention this pioneer "photo journal". Perhaps for the porn-reason. A 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: film, gay films, gay life

This is Gay Pride Weekend in Palm Springs.

It is a bit of legerdemain that is cynically connected to the tourist season and nothing else.

This was always the traditional beginning of the time when snow birds returned and the tourist businesses recharged. Now it is boosted with an event.

For an easterner this is all bogus. We all know that what has become "pride weekend" began with Stonewall and the riots against the police there. It is followed by the first marches, the first direct actions, the first changes to hetero-hegemony in the laws and such.

And it all happened in June, godammit. To tie it to tourism is a sacrilege.

It used to be said that they did it because it is too hot in June. I call that bullshit.

More and more people live here in the summer and everyone knows that the temps in June are entirely comfortable. And so on. Don't get me started.

Well, I did get started. I will finish with this.

The concept of gay pride is a good beginning point to the whole thing and certainly there is still room for it in the remaining heterodominant world. But the battle is over. The war is still in the mop up phases.

I do not mind that younger gay men and women "do not appreciate" the efforts made on their behalf. Most of us really do not appreciate the efforts of our national revolutionaries who secured independence for our new country.

Disinterest is the motor that drives the future. And so be it.

I like to think of every day as a day that I do not kiss anyone's ass for anything. And if you don't like that fuck you.

Actually, I do not start the day with that thought.

I start with gratitude for my life and my partner and the freedom we enjoy. The freedom that our gay brothers and sisters fought for. And fucking won, goddamit. See? Still a touch of the animosity we all have toward the homophobes. Now mostly in the closet themselves. The secret little jokes and macho asides. It is no different than the racists.

They have to live with themselves. Conscious or otherwise. It does not matter. It is a lonely road for them.

Labels: gay culture, gay life, gay pride

I have read Alison Bechdel's comic strips for a very long time.

Dykes to Watch Out For

Now it is called graphic fiction. Or something. I also have her autobiographical novel, Fun Home which uses her approach to the comic strip to tell her own life story. She had a closeted gay father. Just to put some extra spin on it.

Bechdel just received a Macarthur Grant for her work. A wonderful recognition with some cash on the side.

Here she is talking about her reaction to receiving the grant and talks about her work.

If you want to know more about Bechdel and also look at her archives go here.

The other thing is that the strips are not just about dykes or, in fact, principally about them. It is about funny people, political people, who happen to be lesbians.

Labels: gay culture, gay fiction, gay life

I am not a particular Dolly Parton fan but I can remember her songs on the jukebox at Sporters, a long gone deeply mourned gay bar.

Frisson. Every time.

"Here you come again."

Holy shit. A gay anthem of regret and happiness all in one simple song.

I find that I am not the only gay boy who liked Dolly. Look at this.

Dollywood, a Little Bit Country and a Little Bit Gay

She is a universal gay icon which makes the whole Dollywood thing even more delicious. All those Southern Baptists haven't a clue. Or maybe they do.

I have always suspected the buttoned up choirboys (I was one) and the well behaved young men of some hidden sins which bend in my direction.

Should I mention that I am married to one of that kind of southern boy. Even though he was not a baptist boy in the practicing sense, his roots in country are as deep as mine.

But mine extend down in hillbilly soil. Appalachia.

And there is Dolly. Overdressed, and over the top with the emotion. She learned from the drag queens, just as we all did whether we liked it or not. They fed us their glorious spinach. Let it all out girl.

It brings tears to my eyes. So much. So much. In just one little song and songbird.

Labels: gay heroes, gay life, music

We all had a boy of summer.

The Boy of Summer

The boy who we had to look at. The one who, in the locker room, had the musculature and attitude we craved to have. For ourselves and for our selves. The boy who had the package that somehow created magical and painful feelings in our chest and later "down there".

Over the years I collected them. In college. During my married life.

And then, I cracked.

I had done enough reading, there had been enough consciousness raising, enough brave souls came out and forged a path for the rest of us.

And that boy with in me emerged. I became the one that was looked at. The availability of heart and soul became obvious to others similarly blessed. We could see each other. Invisible, often, to the rest of the world.

And over the years more of us became visible and took part in life around us.

What a wonderful story.

Labels: gay life

I mentioned the New Yorker and, oddly, it becomes an item because of its current cover.

The Fifty Ninth Street Bridge in New York, a favorite which I would often cross on the way into Manhattan. And two cyclists. Male. And nothing said about it.

Just me.

Love it. Thanks.

Labels: gay life

Today's film, set in 1985 San Francisco, evokes its time and place beautifully.

Test (2014)

A young dancer finds himself surrounded by the AIDS crisis. Friends and lovers are running. Out of town, away from each other.

What to do?

His friend, another dancer, and his roommate hear him out and stand by him as he gets the AIDS test. He is the first of his acquaintances to do so.

The movie lets us wait it out with him. The two weeks that were standard at the time. The young man goes about his life as he moves through the fear and anticipation of waiting.

There is a lot of dance footage in this film. Beautifully done. Mostly men. Modern. It is the real thing. No stand ins.

Eventually, the results come in. For others. For a friend. For him. This is a kind of suspense film.

I do not think you have to remember this time or have been in the middle of it to "get" it. It will speak universally.

But for anyone who remembers and was there it is all very real and brings back the feelings of the time. Waiting with friends. Waiting with your lover. Waiting for one's own results.

I will not tell you how it comes out. No spoilers. You will have to see and feel it for yourself.

I already bought this film and will see it again. A 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films, gay history, gay life