esrosedotblog

That song that clings, and sings.

This has been going on in my head for two days. I hope this might help get it out of there.

I had forgotten that it was Johnny Mathis.

I thought Nat King Cole. Sue me.

Mathis sort of came out as a gay man then back pedaled.

Management told him to get back into the closet.

I was surprised to find that he is still very much alive! And still working. He is 78.

I don't need him to come out. He has gone from a guy who was gay being famous and successful to being a guy who is almost as old as I am and still working, riding those hits to the end.

Labels: gay history, music

At one time, homosexuality was illegal all over.

Country by country the laws were changed and today's film is about that revolution in Switzerland.

I thought the Swiss were all OK liberals.

Well the Swiss may be but some of their regulators were not. A point made here is that legality was limited by "regulation" not by law. A trick in the books.

As in many places, a group of gay rights pioneers managed to have this changed and we see one such group in this film.

Der Kreiss / The Circle (2014)

The story is told by two men who met during this time and through the technique of docudrama they relive the times and the experience.

Soon, such living witnesses will be gone. This film insures that some will still be heard and that history will not be ignored.

It is very well done. The two stars "fall in love" before our eyes. It is amazing. While the history plays out, we experience how it affects them directly.

A 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films, gay films, gay history, gay rights

I ranted against Ben Carson for being ignorant, below.

Then I realized that I had no idea about how the Romans did the deed. With guys or not.

Of course, the answer is timeless and universal. There have always been homosexuals. It is just how society reacted to it that makes the cultures different.

Here is the Roman story.

Homosexuality in Ancient Rome

Here as usual, the real discussion is about who is on top. Or the bottom.

Short answer, in Ancient Rome, both.

The Romans liked to do it and they did it many ways. One of the key elements was the idea of submission. Nothing new there. But in Rome there were castes and, if you remember from your homo-childhood fantasies, if any*, there were slaves.

You could do whatever you wanted to do with slaves and no one paid much attention.

The author Mary Renault made a mint of money with this whole idea. Gay sex and romance is rife in most of her quite successful novels.

I am happy to believe that there have always been gay people whether up or down or in or out. Even upside down.

Sometimes it takes a little longer to realize how this all works even for one's self. But once you get over the idea that it is anyone else's business, you can have a good time of it.

Incidentally, this is probably the first time that I have put an image of explicit sex in this blog. Just a note on this. I decided long ago that no one wants to see other people having it off. Not really. Unless you are a voyeur and there are a lot better media to get one's rocks off watching than a blog post.

This is not technically true. You can get aroused by anything anywhere but sometimes it is a bit like thinking of baseball scores while diddling on an internet picture. Now action videos, well........

* a copout here. I left room for never having any homo fantasies. Young or otherwise. When I am pretty sure that everyone has them at least through puberty and that they can be pretty hot.

Labels: gay history, gay marriage

The wing nuts think they have a lock on defending the family.

This delusion is what might just upset their apple cart. Defining "family" as a tightly run heterosexual and, probably, god fearing, church going unit, they fail to see that for years, gay men and women have been making their own family units. And, as a result encouraging many heterosexual groups, not all couples incidentally, to redefine their notions of marriage as well.

What has turned it is the kids.

Gay couples have been getting kids through adoption or surrogate activities foe quite awhile now and the evidence is in and quite clear that families do not suffer in the present of gay principals. I would not go so far as to claim that gay marriages are better for kids. I do not have that prejudice which so many hets have.

But I do know that my own family has flourished from the presence of a gay dad other than myself. And now, grandchildren. Who come visit on their own. Their two granddads.

Today, another article about gay kids.

How kids became the strongest argument for same-sex marriage

How dare these assholes disparage my family. My kids. My marriage.

While I do not often use such derogatory terms, I consider these people to be evil. Flat out. Mean, bigoted and sometimes so crazed with their surety that they do no good and sometimes seriously harm others.

Labels: gay adoption, gay families, gay history, gay marriage, gay rights

I am happy to say that I am married to my former "Certified Domestic Partner" John.

Now we are over that nonsense. He is my husband.

Is this an important distinction? To be married instead of just "partners". Emphatically yes. It felt different from the completion of the "I do" we each spoke.

It took a long time to break through the useless rigamarole that even "liberals" conceived. Just to cover up the reality that we still were second class citizens.

Now, in California, no more. We had the entire State vote and we got legitimatized.

And, now we hope to go national.

Gay Marriage's Moment

I don't know what the Supremes will do. There is suspense.

I want this for everyone.

If the hard right on the Court prevails, then the battle is not over. We will resume.

What do "the gays" want?

Simple.

To be accepted and have full respect from our fellow citizens. Respect. No more jokes. No more "tolerance".

I have a friend who says that he does not want to be "tolerated". Neither do I.

Acceptance. Pure and simple. Is that too much to ask?

For some, yes. It will take time but time will tell.

Labels: gay history, gay marriage, gay rights

Clarence Thomas: Supreme Court's Decision Suggests Justices' Minds Are Made Up On Gay Marriage

Clarence Fucking Thomas. Imagine. Well, what the hell. He got his.

He is such an asshole.

Sorry. Judicial asshole, deserving of the respect accorded to his position.

Labels: gay history, gay marriage, gay rights

Labels: gay couples, gay history, gay life, gay marriage

The New York Irish establishment has relented.

They are going to allow "the gays" to march in the Annual St. Patrick's Day Parade.

Gay Groups to March in St. Patrick’s Day Parade as a Ban Falls

Basically, I don't give a shit one way or another but the annual scuffle over this has been a nasty slap in the face particularly to gay people who are members of the Catholic Church.

Oh. Yes, there are gay Irish. Quite a few in my experience.

Some people believe otherwise. I have actually met a few. Here and there. It is my impression that there are a lot of them.

For these people, personally it is a painful experience to be shunned by their own family. No matter how one braces for it, there is hurt. Deep hurt.

It is interesting how close the whole thing binds with the "Archbishopric" of New York. As that Cardinal goes, so goes the flock. So it is probably a bigger picture.

That is the funny thing to me. A bystander. When it comes to the Catholic Church the image frequently belies the actual practice. I have known so many gay priests! Amazing to me. They stay where they are, everyone knows, it is the open secret. Then as an institution they are homophobes. Self hatred.

One of the most flagrant high church homes was Cardinal Spellman. I think his drag name was "Franny". Hah.

This is the interesting part. The reverse effect of gay pride. The deeply closeted even unmarried queer who turns anti-gay so that no one will see his own nature.

For the regular folks, it is not so easy to doff one's heritage. Church is part of life for many. I had to deal with a mild case of guilt over my Methodist labeled sins. It used to be a liberal church. They turned somewhere in the 60s. They are still out there in bigotry land spouting their hateful shit.

Labels: bigotry, gay history, gay rights

Many people assume that the fight for gay rights or, as we prefer to think of them, human rights, is over.

Nothing could be further from the case.

The focus on children of gay parents and their equal rights continues.

In U.S. Gay Marriage Cases, Children Emerge in the Limelight

When I came out I had five children, not all adult.

Nothing happened. Their mother did not press the point. But we did not file for divorce right away for precisely this reason. Both she and I wanted me to continue being a parent, side by side, together.

Thanks to her, we never had to test things out. But there is no doubt that had she fought it, I would have been at least restricted in catholic Massachusetts although then, as now, that state is considered quite liberal. Only later did the laws and the administrative procedures change. We had a legal separation so that we could go our separate ways in other respects but did not have to deal with this issue in that arrangement.

Today, as in the past, I remain an active parent. Today, I am a grandfather with my husband John. We are all legal to the extent that has any relevance as the kids are parents now themselves and well past the age of worry.

This focuses on the children of gay men and lesbians who were born from the union either by surrogates or other means. But the issues are the same. The law is not settled. Yet.

Just saying.

After this, there are other hills to climb.

Human rights are always just a bit beyond the reach of every man woman and child regardless of the question of sexuality.

Labels: gay history, gay parents, gay rights

The two guys whose suit overturned Prop 8 in California finally had their big wedding yesterday.

Plaintiffs in Historic Gay Marriage Case Lauded at Lavish Ceremony

They married with a simple civil service right after the Supremes ruled but this was the big one. Lavish ones have to be planned! Especially gay lavish.

Well, it would have to have been lavish. Ours was. So be it. We all waited way too long for this to happen.

On the other hand, to be honest, I was amazed it happened so quickly. Or at all.

We were able to get married in the brief window of time before the wing nuts shut it down.

Thanks to Paul Katami and Jeff Zarillo for standing up and fighting back. They paved the way for many others to follow.

Labels: gay history, gay marriage, gay rights

Today is the 45th anniversary of Stonewall.

The gay movement's turning point. A lot has changed since that day.

LGBT Rights 45 Years After the Stonewall Riots

Some drag queens in Greenwich Village had enough and fought back.

Then it spread.

The idea that gay people could have their own moment was monumental. It helped open many doors. Mine included.

I am so grateful to these people. They fought back. The stigma at that time against gays was huge. In many areas it still is.

The fight continues. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

Here is a photo from Boston, a demonstration at the Parkman Band Stand in the Common. It is 1976. I am in there somewhere. It is my first one.

Labels: gay history, gay liberation, gay rights

Today's film, set in 1985 San Francisco, evokes its time and place beautifully.

Test (2014)

A young dancer finds himself surrounded by the AIDS crisis. Friends and lovers are running. Out of town, away from each other.

What to do?

His friend, another dancer, and his roommate hear him out and stand by him as he gets the AIDS test. He is the first of his acquaintances to do so.

The movie lets us wait it out with him. The two weeks that were standard at the time. The young man goes about his life as he moves through the fear and anticipation of waiting.

There is a lot of dance footage in this film. Beautifully done. Mostly men. Modern. It is the real thing. No stand ins.

Eventually, the results come in. For others. For a friend. For him. This is a kind of suspense film.

I do not think you have to remember this time or have been in the middle of it to "get" it. It will speak universally.

But for anyone who remembers and was there it is all very real and brings back the feelings of the time. Waiting with friends. Waiting with your lover. Waiting for one's own results.

I will not tell you how it comes out. No spoilers. You will have to see and feel it for yourself.

I already bought this film and will see it again. A 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films, gay history, gay life

Michael Sam gets the news he will be the first NFL gay player.Of course they aren't putting that way. He is being told he is on the Rams roster.

Watch the boyfriend. Fearless. Side by side, the two of them.

This is a big deal even if, in a way, it isn't. The walls are crumbling for gay men everywhere. This is one of the most recently publicized.

Little did we know in 1975 +/- that things would evolve so soon. Or at all!

Miracles do happen and the hearts of Americans are a lot more open than anyone thinks that they are.

I am proud of my country for confronting all the madness and getting it sorted out as fast as it has.

Labels: gay history, gay rights, gay sports

JUST FOR THE RECORD

What was it like before?

Labels: gay history

GAY HERO AND MARTYR

I came across this photo today.

He was a gay hero but the British didn't think so.

Roger David Casement (Irish: Ruairí Dáithí Mac Easmainn; 1 September 1864 – 3 August 1916) — known as Sir Roger Casement Kt. CMG between 1911 and shortly before his execution for treason, when he was stripped of his knighthood[1] — was an Irish nationalist, activist, patriot and poet.

A British consul by profession, Casement became famous for his reports and activities against human rights abuses in the Congo and Peru, and also for his dealings with Germany before Ireland's Easter Rising in 1916. An Irish nationalist and Parnellite supporter in his youth, in Africa he worked for commercial interests and latterly in the service of the UK.

However, the Boer War and his consular investigation into atrocities in the Congo led Casement to anti-Imperialist and ultimately to Irish Republican and separatist political opinions. He sought to obtain German support for a rebellion in Ireland against British rule. Shortly before the Easter Rising, he landed in Ireland and was arrested. He was subsequently convicted and executed for treason.

There has been controversy over a set of Black Diaries, copies of which were circulated selectively by the British authorities following Casement's conviction, which, if accepted as genuine, would portray Casement as a promiscuous homosexual with a fondness for young men. Given prevailing views on homosexuality at the time, circulation of the diaries helped undermine support for clemency for Casement......Wikipedia

Labels: gay history

HARD ROAD

Today's film was the NYTimes Critics' Pick documentary

How To Survive a Plague (2012)

This extremely lucid record of the AIDS years between onset and potent cocktail treatment is a blunt instrument meant to show us that pure dependence on government to solve our problems is an idle fancy.

Only the most extreme advocacy was instrumental in moving the gears of science, government and the public to not only do something about the plague but to, most of all, be kind.

Our villains are displayed and then dispatched. George Bush, Jesse Helms, Ed Koch and even Bill Clinton.

The heroes of the movement were the ACT UP people. It is really their film.

They are shown warts and all through their many trials and errors, breakups and coming back together.

AIDS was "discovered" about five years after I came out again. John and I met before the major onset. We missed the enormous bullet.

But friends died. Disappeared. Horror show.

If anyone feels sorry about "the gays" as an oppressed minority, they can get over it. Sure. True. But these people took their lives into their own hands and turned the horror around.

There are enough of the activists around to make a nice set of talking heads.

The editing is superb.

Many guys who made it through all this found that they had some survivor guilt as well as a kind of "what do I do now?" feeling. They had never made any long term plans or were able to see into a different future than the one they had. I know guys who had this happen. They recovered their lives. In the end titles they show many of the people in this film and tell what and where they are doing.

Very nice. I liked it and once was enough. A 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films, gay history

A NEW VOCABULARY

Around here, we are still adjusting to the new term for "the gays" having a wedding.

No more "gay marriage". It is "marriage equality".

A world of difference and I concur, it is just hard to get out of the habit.

This morning in the car, it struck me that when I first got into gay politics it was all about "gay liberation". First it was about our liberating ourselves and then gaining enough ground as a "people" to be liberated from society's chains.

True.

Then we gained an identity and became staunch crusaders for gay rights.

There is a critical difference between seeking liberation, someone has to free us, and gay rights, we must free ourselves and they better goddam agree with us or we will show them a thing or two.

Then, equality. Here we totally reject the second class citizenship and victimization of gay lives and take a stand as equal members of society.

These are not trivial distinctions. They reflect internal states as stark as the difference being in and coming out. The difference between the shame of being gay, the hiding in tea rooms and other out of the way places to meet and holding hands in public. And kissing. And being treated as any other people.

Busted for holding hands while gay.

Now, Newt Gingrich and others keep referring to the "gay lobby". At first I bristle at this and then, pausing to look around with pride, I have to agree with him.

The bigots have a lobby. We ought to have one too.

Yesterday we were a "special interest group" just another second class irritant.

Today we are feared. Some of the evangelicals have taken our victim robes and put them on, whining that we want to discriminate against them.

Look.

When I was in college, I was scared to death to go and live gay. I had boyfriends in a stealth kind of way but it was all in secret and heavy denial.

I got married and muffled all my feelings and thoughts for awhile until they couldn't be stifled any more.

I met gay people who were out.

I worked in Harvard Square, for chrissake. The bastion of liberal theology and practice. Men started hugging, straight and otherwise.

At first I went to gay movies. Sit and look at the screen while groping or being groped. I never went to the mens room. Too classy for that.

Then, I tried the baths. Too dark. And, somehow, always funny to me. Laughter and covert sex do not work.

I got involved in gay politics such as they were at the time. I worked on a hot line. I got on the board of a health service. I went to consciousness raising meetings.

I would like to say that I went to be of service but really I wanted to meet men.

Which I did. Some real lookers too.

I dated and slept with a few. These guys were very out. No looking back. You can't have hidden sex, be furtive, with an out gay man. It is all open, out and that does wonders for the enthusiasm and energy. Closet sex is lousy sex. Out sex, well!

Then the ads. By this time I was using a real name and all but it was a private mailbox at the weekly paper. See the Phoenix article below.

I was blessed to meet another guy, Mort who called himself Mark (yes, many did this he was an art history prof at UNH--a tipoff right there--but he didn't want anyone to know he was seeing guys and he lived with woman). I used my one in a thousand first name for real with him. A breakthrough.

The thing about Mort and I is that we relaxed. We were free to be ourselves somehow. We explored undiscovered ground together. We rented motel rooms. We walked in the park.

Then I got my own studio apartment. Dates in the afternoon. The daylight.

Listen to this. I was thrust into coming out.

The movies didn't work because on my third or fourth visit there was a raid. Actually someone had called the fire department and they evacuated the place. I resolved to never get under the thumb of "the man".

The baths didn't work because I was too amused.

The bushes were not going to work for me because I wanted to at least know a name and see a face. Maybe have coffee. A romantic.

The bars worked.

A progression.

You could sit around and get aquainted, go home with a guy or not. You could look around. And when drinking worked for me, I could lose inhibitions.

Then Mort.

Daylight.

After that, soon enough, John.

John was out out out out. There was no going backward after that.

He was a "known" gay. Out at work, in your face out. He was like me, he had been down so long that once he "got the call" he got up, stood on his own two feet and never ever looked back.

So the rest of that is history.

We became a couple, faced the reverse discrimination of other gays who scoffed at couple hood, had a lot of trials and tribulations. When you come out later you still have to go through the adolescence.

And we did.

Now FF. A life second to none. Married. Together out and proud for 38 years.

And all that time, in the middle of the "struggle" somehow. Little did we know that the first attempts to get marriage equality would lead to what we have today. A victory. Partial so far, but inevitable.

So we got conscious, got liberated, got our rights and got hitched.

An American success story.

Labels: gay history

SCHADENFREUDE

Today, Kevin Drum goes there.

Watching the Worm Turn on Gay Marriage

Basically, some evangelical is whining about being seen as an "An outcast, a bigot, narrow-minded, a "hater" or all of the above. It's a different type of ridicule but it's still ridicule."

Yup.

I agree with Kevin. A spade is a spade.

It must be tough to wake up and have your mind set and your lifestyle the subject of constant derogation.

Hey, just like being gay, right? But now, it is a fact, the evangelicals are in the minority and on the decline and homos are in the ascendancy.

Only the holy rollers are going to be extinct or divided into cults and "the gays" will just melt back into the crowd again as equal members of a just society.

I sure don't want to pick on evangelicals but when you have a huge kick me sign on your ass what do you expect?

In this one, in 1992, ol' Pat gets immolated by the "homes". If he only could have seen the future.

Labels: bigotry, christist watch, gay history, gay rights

THE TIME HAS COME

I never thought I would see this happen.

Skeptical me.

The changes over the last decade are exponential.

This is from the RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE COALITION, a new highly funded gay marriage advocacy group which goes across party and other lines to push the cause forward. Now. 9 States. Millions of people.

The bigots have lost.

Labels: gay history, gay marriage, gay rights

HAPPY HOLIDAY

Special shoutout to James Buchanan, the only unmarried President but not the only one rumored to be homosexual.

The gay construct was not in place at this time.

And, a bi-shout out to none other than Abraham Lincoln for whom, sleeping with his bodyguard, same bed, counts for something.

I know, they say that a lot of men slept with their best friends and held hands and kissed and all. Bromances. But as far as I am concerned that puts them on the Kinsey spectrum.

Don't mind me. Everything comes up gay if you are one and have spent a long time hiding out about it.

Labels: gay history, history