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When I fully came out of the closet, I discovered a new Halloween.

It is "the gay's" high holy day!

In Boston there were dances every night and everyone went all out on the costumes. All the bars were packed with costumes. A tour was necessary. Well, a tour was necessary for the drinking too.

I don't remember what I wore as a costume but I am pretty sure it wasn't drag unless it was clown drag. I had a really wonderful big red wig.

One could not repeat oneself year to year. So the wig probably only came out once. Then masks sufficed.

The last costume I remember is when John and I dressed as Hershey Kisses.

There is a history for gay Halloweens. You can find it here.

It is mostly about San Francisco, but back then we were all modeling ourselves after the trailblazers.

Labels: holidays

I have enjoyed all four of the films by the young Xavier Dolan, a gay film maker from Quebec.

Today's film was scary and taut and had me throughout. A gay man goes to his lover's funeral in a provincial town. He is totally unknown to the family who has no idea that their young man was even gay.

The hostility of the brother (Pierre-Yves Cardinal) who gets the picture and tries to suppress the gay partner's participation or, failing that, to control it is palpable. It is pretty clear that the brother is not free of some homo urges himself. When he fights with Dolan it is actually pretty hot, in a frightening way.

This is not a lightweight film about "the gays". It is a scary psychological thriller that has homophobia as the root cause of a bad situation but in reality is great study of how family's try to protect themselves.

The older brother of the dead partner is a work of frightening art. Menacing, cold, seemingly unstoppable. Dolan himself is the visiting lover and he is great at doing what is necessary to protect himself and to do what he needs to do for his late boyfriend.

Tom a la Ferme /Tom at the Farm (2014)

The photography and the rural scenes are wonderful. Drab and menacing, almost characters in the play. Quite a production which I will rate with a 5 because I will see it again when I can collect myself. I am still a little unsettled by it.

Labels: films, gay films

When I was a kid, Halloween was very special.

And when I had little kids it was even better!

Now, it is waiting vainly at the door. Living in a condo in a retirement community is not high traffic trick or treat territory.

But I am ready just in case. And if no one shows up, then I am sure we can find a good use for the miniature Milky Way, Snickers, and Twixt bars.

When I was that age, I went out as long as it was decent. Usually with David Bixler from next door who was younger than me. A tepid excuse. There were no other kids on our drive.

Our range was modest. Our street, a parallel street and some houses on the main road.

It was expected that we have costumes of some sort. A mask at least.

Finally, it just got embarrassing so I quit.

With my own kids, I went along and was the Dad standing down the street giving half a wave and not wanting to get in the way. It was still a lot of fun.

Candy bar voyeurism.

It is a great day. No church stuff is involved. No allegiance to a patriotic theme. Just fun with a touch of gluttony.

Labels: holidays, kidtime

Today's movie is a melodrama about the period in our history just before Clinton's "don't ask don't tell" policy.

Burning Blue (2014)

It is a melodrama and a bit of a soap opera but has the advantage of being accurate. The impact of these policies, thought to be liberal, are still hard to gauge. In this case, a lot of damage ensues.

Two Navy airmen fall for one another and spend one night together. They are found out.

Families are involved as well as careers for two pilots.

The whole thing can not have a happy ending and still be an accurate depiction. We know this going in.

But we can see how people can maintain their self respect in the face of extreme discrimination.

I liked it, I will probably watch it again some time. As a document of the times it is certainly a five. As a film drama, it suffers from some raggedy edges but never loses its earnestness or makes a wrong step around the issues.

Labels: films, gay films

No one will be surprised to read that Tim Cook is gay.

Tim Cook Just Came Out As Gay

But the thing is that there is a big difference between everyone knowing it as a poorly kept secret and everyone knowing it as an outspoken fact.

This is one of the lesser understood aspects of the process of coming out all the way.

Self declaration across the board and out loud, unembarrassed and unapologetic is what we need.

Most gay people have friends who are supportive by definition. Being out to them is no sweat. More gay people belong to social groups that are tolerant. We are not known for joining right wing homophobic christer outfits. But not all gay people take it much further. To be a public figure and to be assertively open is still a courageous act. But an essential one.

There are still haters of course, but more, there are still many more fencers who will smile and speak their support but not be totally accepting. They are still "tolerating". I had a friend once who hated the idea that he would be "tolerated". Me too once I learned what he meant by that.

Dissolve the definitions. It will take a long time. But the more Tim Cooks we have the more the whole "gay thing" will simmer down into just being a thing.

Labels: apple, gay heroes, gay identity

I watched the second half of my horror/thriller picture from yesterday.

It was even bloodier and more macabre than the first half. But quite wonderful in its way.

Korean writer/director Kim Jee-Woon made this and, while I am not an expert on this kind of thing, it is quite wonderful in its way.

Akmareul boatda / I Saw the Devil (2010)

I have a hangover from watching it.

A cop seeks revenge when a serial killer does away with his fiancé. The revenge is slow in coming, first he must track the guy down, and sweet. Prolonged and brutal.

I had to turn my eyes a couple of times.

The workmanship in this film is astounding. It is in color but, at the right times, colorless in its way of boosting the intensity for moments of severe anxiety. The director toys with our emotions much like the hero toys with the villain as he slowly ends his awful life. No quick exits for him.

I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5.

Here is a clip. Warning. It is very violent.

Labels: films

Well, when you put it that way, yes, he does look like a drag queen.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

It seems to me that mocking our adversaries has gone out of style somehow.

There used to be terrible cartoons and jokes about all the Russian dictators. But glasnost sort of made that inappropriate or something.

Of course, my perspective is a bit longer on this.

In my youth it was encouraged to call the Japanese "nips" and worse. It was WWII after all. German mockery was a little more precarious because we were of German stock and we lived in Eastern Pennsylvania. And we had German refugees living in our community. Non-jewish ones as a matter of fact. Politicals. A family of kids in school just made it out of there. So, no kraut jokes please. But it was open season on any orientals who might "worship the rising sun".

I suppose that once there was an atomic bomb it all got a lot less funny. If it ever was.

Nevertheless, I got a big laugh out of this cartoon and now that I have beat it to death I hope you laughed too. On the first bounce before you got all self aware and shit.

Labels: communists, humor

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Labels: holidays. sex toys

Today's film is a horror/thriller by the Korean film maker Ji-woon Kim.

I Saw the Devil (2010)

I have seen several of Kim's films. It would appear that he is working the rounds between one genre and another.

It is a long film so I only saw the first half in which a sadistic rapist killer leaves a bloody trail which includes the daughter of the police chief and the fiancé of one of his best detectives (Lee Byung-hun). In other words, a revenge thriller on top of the gore which accompanies every killing and/or wounding that occurs.

It is a very long film, almost three hours, so I am watching it on two days.

I paused as the killer was brought to some rough justice by the cop but since there is not enough evidence to convict him, he is left to suffer some rather ugly mutilations. I think the idea is that death is too good for him.

But this partial solution obviously allows him to gather what wits he has left and get some healing done before the film carries on with the bloody proceedings.

The villain (Choi Min-sik) is a major player in this film. He is seen in depth. Very nice work for actor and director here. We do not feel sorry for him at all but we do feel about him. At least that whatever happens to him is well deserved. He has a heavy load to keep the action believable while he goes over the top with his evil deeds. He glowers and scowls, grins and savors with wonderful grace and aplomb. If he had a mustache he would twirl it but he never quite overdoes. Edgy. Scarily so.

The film is beautiful. A lot of night shots. Very close close-ups.

Very tense. Close calls. The cop actually had the killer at the mid-point but let him go after really kicking his ass. Not enough hard evidence and also the film is only half over! You can see the producers tapping their watches to show more is needed.

So. It is a definite 4 out of 5 so far. Tune in tomorrow.

Labels: films

Sunset is dramatic and final. Dark. Bang.

Marcus and I ran into it tonight. Left at 545 and ended up coming home in the very dark just an hour later.

That means we start the 3PM walk tomorrow.

I was going to wait for daylight savings time to end this coming weekend but that will be too long.

We had a good time but the world changes at dark.

The coyotes come out. Just down the street. He never really saw them or them him as far as I could tell.

Then people start getting weird too. More panhandlers. Odd walkers.

So tomorrow, we leave in the light and come home that way. For the duration. March probably.

Labels: desert, seasons

It has been awhile since I have seen a film about Africa and the clash of European values with the local ones.

At least I think that is what is at the heart of

Tabu (2012)

All of the old tropes are here and welcome to them. The nature of Africa always makes a good backdrop for the usual romantic love story. There is a long tradition.

This one does very well by the genre and I enjoyed it.

Some of the old style stuff is dropped, the white hunter and the prey. The thing is that the prey is a woman. An illicit relationship (I think that is the word for adultery) is the goal.

I liked it a lot and enjoyed watching the game, the scenery and the people.

It is in black and white which is also interesting. I think that this deflects some of the exotic nature of the place where new "morals" either take root or fail entirely.

I will give it a 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

In fact the title is

Azul y no tan rosa (Blue and Not So Pink) / My Straight Son (2014)

I liked this a lot. It is rather true to form and honest in its depiction of a gay dad and straight son. Some of the situations are a bit melodramatic but it is a movie after all.

The thing is that the story and acting are honest and straight forward and do not pander or make it easy.

No father son relationship is easy. I have lived this one out. We all did OK as the people in this film did.

I liked it, I bought it before I saw it as it is one of those movies that will never make it to Netflix.

It is Venezuelan, it is gay and it is independent. None of those things get a movie into the rental lists.

I will give it a 4 out of 5 for its honesty and realism. Also its love. Which is, after all, what it is really about.

Labels: films, gay families

I am not an iPhoner.

But I am an AppleFan from way back. All the other stuff I own is by Apple.

So it is nice to see how big a role Apple still plays in the universe. From the NYT this morning.

“Apple is now so big that it takes a lot to make it grow appreciably,” Mr. Sacconaghi said. It’s producing an impressive interrelated ecosystem of products and services, including its forthcoming digital watches, its new digital payment system, its revived Mac line, refreshed iPads and new software operating systems. Even if all of its ventures succeed, none are likely in the next year or two to rival the financial impact of the iPhone. “The iPhone is the core of Apple right now,” he said.

Somewhere in heaven Steve Jobs is smiling.

One might ask why I am not on an iPhone. I ask myself sometimes.

I am just phone resistant. I have an iPad, I have a big iMac. I own a Kindle (not Apple). All good. All used daily. I love them.

But when it comes to a phone, no dice.

I suppose that it is based on my refusal to text. The process doesn't interest me at all. I have nothing against it, I am just not a player.

I hate all the thumb work. The fact that after all that work I am left with a marginal, superficial result. Ain't me.

The fallacy about daylight savings time is that anything is actually saved.

The time change is basically to extend after work hours for those who still have a job.

OK in the summer but to have it now, is just dopey.

It is 609AM here and it is still pitch black out. No sky at all.

I am a morning person so I am left out of it.

We are now waiting for Marcus' walk because it is too dark for the humans. I suspect he likes the unlit walk more than I do but it is us at the other end of the leash.

This is another congressional folly. Left to the hands of the amateur executives, we get a mish mash.

This will last another week. Dark into and out of the gym. Dark walking hours for the dog.

Dark, dark, dark.

End of rant.

Labels: daylight

Two actors vie for a role in a Moliere play.

The vying is more interesting than the Moliere. But we do see bits of the play The Misanthrope

Off on the coast, they meet with a producer. They talk about the play. They meet a woman who interests them both.

The tension throughout is over control. The actor. The director. But at times, it seems that Moliere is in charge. Classical, unbending. A template for behaviors that seem out of reach for the humans involved here.

There is a nice bit for a woman to come into the scene. Both men are so egotistical that they cannot really connect with her. Or the beauty of their location on the coast. Or other people who are here, marooned with them for a weekend.

Bicycling with Moliere (2013)

with three favorite French actors. Fabrice Luchini, Serge Tanneur and Maya Sansa.

I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5 because I would enjoy seeing it again sometime.

Labels: films

Today's film takes the computer fantasy to new heights.

Johnny Depp is not a mad scientist, only a dead one. It is just that his brain, which has been computerized, has ideas of its own.

Transcendence (2014)

I liked the movie and actually suspended disbelief long enough to get swept away in a story that doesn't translate very well to the plod of word smithing.

Suffice to say that Mr. Depp looks is aging gracefully. Handsome, fit and very compelling in a role that has him more than half the time on a video outlet of his human intelligence program. Hard to pull off but he does it. Handily.

Morgan Freeman plays Morgan Freeman once again, not a bad thing. Kate Mara, Morgan Freeman, Rebecca Hall, Cillian Murphy and Paul Bettany fill out a top rate cast. In fact, I am sure that it is the cast that makes the film work so well. Everyone is very earnest. This is essential especially in sci-fi.

Once is enough for this film but it is still a pretty good ride.

That makes it a 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

I took off a day from the gym this morning.

Perhaps this is a trend. Yesterday was a low activity day and now, well, not so much.

I go to the store today and see someone at 8 and then perhaps go get a new bush for the patio planter that has been empty all summer.

Nothing elaborate.

Then, well, slow down to a nap and a movie and a regular day until dinner.

Actually, I took the gym day off because I still have a touchy lower back. It is a lot better and responds completely to Advil or Ibuprofen, I alternate, but it might like to have a rest along with me.

The photo is interesting. It is the first class gym on the Titanic.

Labels: gym

Not a lot to do today.

Nice.

I met with someone this morning for awhile, had a nice nap and now am "escaping" the cleaners who are in the other side of the house and headed here.

No movie today.

No cooking, we will eat out! It is Thursday.

I also found out that I have only two applicants in my area for the next academic year at MIT.

Light work. It is usually 20 or so of which 10 or 15 set up at time.

I am thinking that this is my last year doing this so there is not be any swan song. I already had it.

Time will tell.

Everyonceinawhile I need such a day as today.

I will quit now and enjoy my idleness.

Some nap facts:

Labels: life

So Marcus and I have switched to the afternoon walk just after his supper.

It is still a little warm but he is a trouper and has done very well. Me too.

I like the change because it gets me out of the house mid-day and we will have to do it come the end of daylight savings time in two weeks.

The other thing is that I can go right after I see the movie and write about it and get that out of my system.

Today was the end of the world at midnight so I needed a break.

Labels: Marcus

Today's movie was about the end of the world.

Believable and somehow reassuring we see a different people living their last hours.

Last Night (1999)

It sounded as though it would be cheesy but it is not. A Canadian film, it is a closeup study of what might happen. Not why. Or how. It is just about to happen and everyone knows it. At least everyone in the film.

They also accept it.

After all, there hasn't been any darkness for some time. I am not sure what is coming. A star? Somehow it doesn't matter.

Well, it matters but the reason doesn't seem to be very important. That is one of the fascinations of it all.

It is sort of an anthology film. For the most part people's lives are not connected, but here and there, they are.

I liked it.

But once is enough for the world's end.

I will give it a 3 out of Netflix5.

One more thing. This is not the Keira Knightley film of the same name. I am glad for that.

Labels: films

So, I have a new setup on my desk for the computer.

I bought the Varidesk that I wrote about below. It is working pretty well. Like any new thing it is requiring a bit of adjustment.

I also got a new chair which uses a knew pad so I really kneel to do my work. Much better for my back.

So it will be a bit awkward for awhile but I am getting the feel of it pretty well.

One thing I like is that it brings the computer to eye level. About three inches above the eyes as recommended.

The other thing is that my nearsighted glasses don't quite make the stretch but the bifocals do. I may need a new prescription, well, it is not prescribed. A new set of nearsighted glasses at the store.

I won't make any rash moves.

I can feel it in the knees after about three hours but I do not have to kneel. I can move it around. I can stand up.

The varidesk, well, varies. It can go up and down. If I want to stand, it is easy enough to raise the computer up a bit.

Labels: computer, work

After a weekend of guests, I am back to the movies today.

The Raid: Redemption

Martial arts, blood and thunder. An Eastern Western (no horses).

Pure fantasy martial arts. Crazy wild. Kicks, head butts. So very violent I felt ashamed of myself for watching it but still, I didn't stop. And I am glad that I didn't.

Cleansing.

These things aren't very deep. There is no unusual moral message. There is no redeeming value.

But for two hours of kick ass action? No parallel.

I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5 because I would, truly, be happy to watch it again. Acrobatics!

Labels: films

The Varidesk came today.

It is very nice.

But my feet hurt.

I will have to get used to it.

The idea is to do more standing when I work at the computer.

My son in Australia got one and recommended it.

I can see why.

I worry that I sit too much but I do not want to stop using any part of my computer.

I am hoping that this is an answer to that dilemma.

Labels: work

John and I drove to Indio this morning. He needed some diagnostic imaging.

Very sophisticated it would seem. Early results say that everything is OK. Details later.

I had to take him because he would not be in any shape to drive after his local anesthetic.

So I let him out and went to have coffee at a Starbucks. A muffin. Sit in the sun.

I enjoyed it all. Not that I would do it again or, rather, not that it would top my priorities for hanging out.

The muffin was half size. WTF! And the coffee mediocre.

But I did sit out in the sun next to this large family. Latin american. Mom, Pop, older daughters (3 I think) and a son,18 or so.Two beautiful babies.

How nice to be next to them. I didn't eavesdrop at all but it was apparent that they do this regularly enough to have the space comfortably and to exchange mild family banter, some news and most of all bask in the baby-ness of it all.

It has been a while since I have been around grand babies or any other kind. Or families. Gentle, loving and sweet.

The thing about outdoor tables is that people will tolerate less intimacy somehow.

I didn't stare but they knew I was a willing audience. An appreciative one.

I didn't eavesdrop really. It was mostly about the babies and family life as far as I can tell.

Very nice.

I went to pick up John and somehow got lost. I forgot about a turn I had made going to the imaging place. I had to call and be directed. That was fine with me.

Home then, where part of my own family was settled in for the morning. Two sons. More family-ness. But mine.

I still fail to see the attraction of Starbucks but the family compensated for that quite nicely.

Labels: family, health, medicine

Catholic Bishops Scrap Welcome To Gays

Labels: christists, homophobia

Today is my 35th anniversary clean and sober.

I will lead a Meeting this morning.

Then, I am off to a condo board meeting and the rest of the day with "the boys" who are visiting.

Nothing could be more emblematic than this kind of day.

Some quiet celebration with sober friends, some family time and a commitment of service to the community I belong to.

It is all comfortable and all fits. No sweat.

I only mention this because it is the central fact of my life.

I know. It is a little hard to explain. Perhaps, put more simply, if I had not stopped I would not be here now.

So, grateful.

Thanks to all.

Labels: recovery

Some family members are on the way to Palm Springs as I type this!

Two "boys" who will stay with us for five days. Well, in a hotel. Did you know that Palm Springs has no motels? Down market. Too posh for that. It is funny.

There are plenty of places that you and I would call motels. Not Palm Springs.

It will be nice to have them. No big plans. Mostly eat at a home. Hang out.

The days of showing people the sights and sites in the Coachella Valley were over long ago.

We have been here 15 years now. Old news.

But visitors do like to hike and go around to see things. Even the second and third time.

I used to hike with them but my hiking days are over. Along with the knees.

We don't go back east much. Once in five years for me and that was in August. So it isn't like I haven't seen them in forever.

But staying here is different than going there. Certainly homier. I will cook at least one night. Maybe two or three. Out only once?

We have stuff going on while they are here. I have a BOD meeting for the condos on Saturday morning and John has a medical appointment Sunday AM.

I remember how, when I went to see my parents, that we would "have to" go to the house and sit and talk. Mostly my mother talked. It was just unavoidable.

I probably compensate the other way now. I will talk in conversational mode but I don't tell my whole life in an hour and then repeat it after asking if I told them already. A good lesson I learned from her. It was like a tape spool.

So we will just be around.

Nice.

And so will they. Nicer.

Labels: visitors

I went to have the stitches in my left shin removed today.

Actually, I had two wounds. One, seven stitches, in my upper leg and the other, four stitches, a few inches below.

Just about where a drawer sticking out would hit you if you walked into it.

As I did about ten days ago.

A Saturday morning. It was quite dramatic. Bloody.

I went to urgent care where they got it all sewn up.

that is not my leg in the photo. But pretty close. Me? I had two lacerations.

I had already been back there once for a look see. No infection.

Today, the stitches came out. He put a few small bandaids across the big slash just to give it a few more days. I will just let them fall off in the normal course.

It has been a long time since I had anything like this.

I have to say that the Urgent Care facility, a new concept, midway between a doc and a hospital emergency room, works just fine.

I go early and get into the flow first or second. The whole thing takes about an hour. Sign up. Sit for the first doc. Go in and have vitals taken by a nurse. Interview and service with a medico and then out and home. Very good.

I hear the emergency room at the hospital takes forever because it is set up to deal with emergencies and even at its worse, my leg was not emergency material.

It is nice to be healed up, almost.

Labels: health, injury

Today's film was the first two episodes of a drama/comedy from Great Britain.

The Misfits (2009)

This show lasted for five long seasons.

I watched the first two episodes of the first season.

A good start.

It would be a long commitment to stick with it.

I am not sure.

Time will tell.

Five kids are in a work program where it is hoped they will straighten out and become, at least, less delinquent.

It is an interesting mix. The first episodes are probably a bit strained as there is a lot of character to introduce and background to be painted in but I enjoyed watching. My disc has two more episodes and I will probably finish them off. Then, it is up to my educated impulses.

So far an easy 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films, television

I hope so.

Never so much fun as writing about Mittens.

Can’t quit Mitt: Friends say Romney feels nudge to consider a 2016 presidential run

Labels: republican whack jobs, Romney

David Greenglass has died.

For most people, this is not even a tic on the scale.

He is unknown to most.

But in the day he was infamous as the man who turned in his sister and her husband, the Rosenbergs, for spying.

The Rosenbergs were executed.

Later, it turned out that much of Greenglass' testimony was wrong about his sister to protect Greenglass' own wife.

David Greenglass, Spy Who Helped Seal the Rosenbergs’ Doom, Dies at 92

At the time, it was front page news for months, years even.

Obsession.

The world was madness at that time. The Soviets, communism. The Rosenbergs did steal secrets or at least he did but the reaction to their crime was thought to be way out of proportion.

I don't know.

It is likely that anti-semitism had something to do with it too. Jewish names all around.

Greenglass changed his name and lived in anonymity most of the rest of his life.

If he had second thoughts and felt guilty of betraying his own sister is not really known although he claimed he did not feel contrite.

In any case, he got to live many more than the average years to contemplate his sins if any.

One aspect of the case is that the Rosenbergs had two kids. Over the years they have written about that time and had interviews. I was fascinated with how that was for them. There are photos of them reading headlines about their parents.

Keerist I am glad those times are long over.

I suppose there is just as much stuff now to get upset about but all this red scare stuff turned our country inside out.

Labels: history

Marcus went to visit his veterinarian today.

Dr. Cutler. The same doc who saw us through our time with Booker.

They got along famously.

There was not a lot to do. He brought all his medical records with him. He did need a Bordetella shot updated. Kennel cough.

Otherwise he is in the pink of health.

He is a good boy in all circumstances but not servile. He is interested and engaged and returns people's attention with his own.

The vets take the dogs into the back for "work" so we did not see the shot or the taking of the fecal sample. Direct out of the bowel. It saves bringing a stool sample and is thought to be more accurate. But he seemed happy to go and not all anxious coming back.

He took everything and everybody in including other dogs.

Dr. Cutler reflected that he had very good beginnings.

Yes, and we are here for his "middle". Very nice to be his friends.

Labels: Marcu

Today's film looks like a feel good praise of marriage and ends up being that, and a whole lot more.

We get to see behind the scenes of this happy couple who go off for a weekend, alone without distractions, to beautiful Paris, where uninterrupted by the rest of their lives they get intimacy which they did not expect.

Le Weekend (2014)

Lindsay Duncan and Jim Broadbent are perfect as the couple. Weary of one another but ready to be surprised. Which is the main ingredient of this wonderful film.

Jeff Goldblum is an old friend, out of the blue, who is a counterpoint and counterbalance to these two. He is wonderful too. All the right things as a friend who is just a little bit out of whack. Counterpoint.

I liked it a lot.

If they wanted to go to Paris for a change of pace, this is certainly what they found. In a good way.

I will give this a solid 3 out of Netflix5 because I have been overrating films lately and have to get back in stride. I would not want to see this again because it would not be the same. First and only times are often better.

Labels: films

This is Dostoevsky's great novel brought to life in modern times. Well, modern times with a dystopian twist.

The Double (2013)

with Jesse Eisenberg in the two roles as Simon James and James Simon, doubles in two parallel universes.

There are a lot of surprises in this film, not the least of which is Jesse Eisenberg in an extremely taxing role as two look-alikes who also share the same "life". He is very good.

The challenge here is to split the situations he faces in two and see the confusion created by the existence of a double who inhabits the same space. They happily did not go for radical differences. In fact he is the same person being doubled. You will see how this works. It is not an impostor film. It is really him doubling himself. The point of view, fortunately, is from one of the two, not both. That would be too much. We live with "the original".

For the most part, they carry this off very well. I was into it for most of the time.

It helps to have vivid characters surrounding the two guys. These provide continuity and, since no one else is aware of what is happening, the frustration inherent in doubling is, well, doubled.

I think that this could just be an empty stunt but they have avoided that somehow and I was with it from beginning to end.

There is not much of a story since most of the weight is on the question of which James or Simon is doing the do.

I liked it. I must admit to a bit of headache as a result. But a good headache.

Once was enough for me so that makes it a 3 out of Netflix5. I only need to let my head swim like this once per plot.

Labels: films

This is what is known as "throwing them a bone".

Catholic bishops in 'seismic' opening toward gays

Seismic.

Really?

Come on fellas. Half of you are gay yourselves. Surely you can come up with something a little less cringeworthy than that.

The Church (they like to be capitalized so I will throw a bone back) is regressive. Or is it retrogressive?

This pope may not be "as bad" as previous ones but he is still a guy who knows nothing about the real lives of real people who do things like divorce, have relationships with others of the same gender or whatever else is on their lists. Pious fools.

Remote from the universe of daily life.

Somehow when a "good" pope comes along people are all agog and good press ensues. Remember the John that was similar? A little of a nice guy then a little of a real prick and so you have it. Back and forth.

I am so out of the stream of religious life and thinking that I just find this stuff all quite bizarre. Do folks really care what the pope thinks or does?

I used to sympathize with liberal catholics who had to put up with this kind of shit but no longer. If they get burned and still stand next to the fire then so be it. I don't mean the fire of the metaphorical hell. I mean the hell of the universal church.

Labels: religion, religionists

Bigger is not necessarily better.

It is just bigger.

Talking about penis size here. A lifelong concern which is the subject of today's film.

Unhung Hero (2013)

I always thought that dick size was a concern mostly of gay men. It has been for me. Although I have to admit that I have never had any complaints.

I am not alone. Most men have this obsession. Minor or major. It can even hamper performance, a self fulfilling prophecy, if we think about it too much. Not something I have had. My mind fills with other things at critical times.

I do remember vividly the time in the boys locker room when George Seese made fun of my penis. It was smaller. I was a late bloomer. And even then it was not huge at all. No low hangers for me. No Dr. Long Dong.

This film of frank interviews has a great sense of humor most importantly about the auteur himself. Patrick Moote, who was told in a breakup with his girl that cock size was the main reason. He later is able to unpack this one and realize that the break up insult was the most devastating for him and she must have known that. A kill shot. To the crotch. Bitch stuff.

I enjoyed all of this as it is very well produced and has all the usual and some unusual sex-perts to help Patrick tell his story.

I would not want to see it again but once was good. A 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: biology, films, masculinity

Any reader of Dune, the extraordinary science fiction novel by Frank Herbert would long to see a film made of it.

A film was made of it. Not very successful. David Lynch.

There was another film in the works. But it failed at the last minute. Like a horse who is winning The Derby going lame in the last ten feet.

Now, we cannot see that film but we can see the effort put in trying to make it.

Jodorowsky's Dune (2013)

This is a wonderful "artist against the authorities" story.

And what is more, we get a lot of visuals of the novel for a film that was never made. I sort of made the film in my mind as this went along.

I have to say that this is not a sad story. Jodorowsky is remarkably cheerful about it all as it came down. It must be part of his spiritual strength to look at failure and laugh.

We do get a lot of what might have been and also get to listen to writers, directors, artists, tell their creative stories.

The film that was made didn't really do the trick according to those who saw it.

I am not sure that I would ever have gone to see either film. My life rule is never to read a book of a film I have seen or see a film from a book I have read. It is pretty simple and keeps my perceptions clear. To do otherwise is to walk the road to hell.

Adaptations suck. Making a novel from a film is difficult but possible. The other way? Always, always, a diminishment.

I would not mind seeing this particular film again. All the sketches, art, artists. It is a primer on film making lying underneath the telling of this story about the real "industry" and how it treats art.

Failed projects are always kind of interesting

Labels: films

Labels: aphorisms, philosophy

Today's movie was a Lewis Black DVD.

Black on Broadway

It is pretty good and hardly dated even though it dates from George Bush time. The second one.

Black doesn't do much political humor but it did creep in at the end. Those times were indeed comic. Full of mock potential.

Labels: comedy

I cannot remember a day that I did not post a blog entry.

Well, not while I was home with nothing else to do.

But yesterday was the day.

There was nothing notable to report but a lot notable happened.

Just not that writable.

I did watch some more episodes of The Big Bang Theory, a marvelous television show that is now available on discs. Seven seasons. Two discs each.

I am not going to write about these.

I will just say that for me to want to watch every episode of a television series is unprecedented. Well, make that a series comedy show. I have watched a lot of HBO DVDs, mostly documentary.

My contempt for television runs deep, even the Public channels but it took this show to knock me off my "holier than thou" pedestal.

This is episode 1, broken into a series of scenes. They are short bits.

Labels: Big Bang Theory, films, television

Our new family member Marcus does not beg.

He doesn't look longingly while we eat. He doesn't come to the kitchen except, apparently, to be a buddy and hang out which he does with one of us all day long. No matter what we are doing where. By our side.

I don't know what to do with this.

Since we had our last air-boy Booker as a rescue dog and also his predecessor Franklin was brought up in our house, we don't have the experience of this. Obviously we made them into beggers. In a nice way of course. But I have to admit that I always came through.

So here is a dog that is happy with the routine. That was very clear from the first day. He came into the house, looked around and made it his own. And ours. A new family.

He has had very good training prior. We are grateful.

He and I just went out for the afternoon pee and whatever. He took me on an even different route. Around the back of our foursome unit. He looks around. He knows where he is.

He is a little too interested in the birds that live down at the east end, in the shrubs. But that is OK. He would never catch one and I am getting him used to a little bird discipline.

He still does not bark.

Labels: Marcus

Give them an inch and they'll take a mile!

"The gays" are never happy. Look at this. They are now pushing even harder! What do they want?

Gay Rights Advocates, Dealt a Supreme Court Victory, Focus on Tough Terrain

That tough terrain is The South. And of course the mountainous west. Sons of the pioneers.

Labels: gay marriage, human rights

This has happened to every gay man who had what started as a trick become less than a treat.

And perhaps straights too.

It captures perfectly that post fuck aversion that almost everyone has.

Even for spouses sometime. Who never go "home". Not that this has ever happened to me.

Labels: gay culture, gay fun

This week, Facebook reversed its policy and allowed people to use "drag names".

There had been a big fuss over this.

Ellen De Generis explains.

Well, a Facebook VP explains.

Drag names are a funny thing even to gay men and if you want to snicker, please do so, because that is the whole point.

A drag queen is for fun in the first place and while there is no one who takes themselves more seriously, it is all about fun and if you are laughing the drag queen is very happy. It is not bigotry. This is one area where gay and straight people can come together. And Queens will absolutely love it.

Of course, Ellen can get away with this. Any het would be kicked in the ass for the same thing.

Labels: gay fun, gay identity

Elderly housing, affordable and of good quality, can be hard to come by.

Harder still to come by if you are gay or lesbian or transgender. You would think that we would be over this but we are not. While the discrimination is subtle and sometimes, perhaps, unconscious, when there is a housing shortage, attitudes count. And marginal populations have to push a little harder to find a place.

Also, gay and lesbian elders are still from the generations that hid out. They were invisible.

That casts a long shadow on your life that is hard to shake.

In big urban areas, the housing laws do allow subsidized housing for minority groups. Being gay and lesbian puts us, after centuries of discrimination, in a favored group. One story about such a place is the subject of

A Place to Live, the Story of Triangle Square

a successful gay and lesbian elderly apartment complex in Los Angeles.

This is a very good documentary. It helps when there is a happy ending of the story but there are situations where people we see in the process are not going to make it through. The income tests, sometimes too much income; the randomness of selection, a lottery, all go to make it a suspenseful proposition. We watch a group of individuals through the process. Tears. Sadness. Joy. Success!

This is very well done. There are no villains. Only limited resources. Not enough room for everybody this time.

But the project's success is a beginning of, perhaps, other developments in LA or other places. Good times may lie ahead.

One question which might be asked by non-gay people, is why LGBT folks need a special place.

To them, I can only say "Please!", get your head out of your ass. There is enough discrimination in these people's lives to have to die in it. I am lucky. I came out, I had money, I had luck, I had a lot of things. Many do not. Lifetimes of barriers give one a certain attitude of doom. These people look past their fears and work toward what the odds say will be a likely failure. Too many applicants for everyone to make it.

Their motto is "TRY!!!".

Mine too.

If you can't watch the video, take time with this trailer.

Labels: films, gay films

I am not completely sure what "clean as a whistle" means.

Well, I know what it means but I am not clear on where the expression comes from.

I looked it up here. And it explains why it is appropriate for describing "clean". Now, you do know what it means from common usage but here it tells you the down and, well, dirty, of it.

Anyway, I went to the doc today to have them look at my cut shin, my lacerations. Multiple actually. Seven stitches in one, four in another.

They are clean as a whistle. Good! But not ready to have the stitches out. I guess I was not listening. Today was not about stitches but about infection. There are no signs of it at all.

So, they patched it back up and now I can clean them every day with soap and water and put on bacitracin and then a big bandaid thing. Like I did in the beginning, right after I had the accident.

I am relieved to know that they are all right. I am happy to take proper care of it. Maybe the stitches can come out next week.

Labels: health, injury

I have seen a lot of live theater, mostly in tryout town Boston.

For many years I didn't miss anything that came along and was almost always rewarded for my effort.

I saw Marian Seldes (Sel-dess) several times. Most notably in some Albee plays.

She was always the brightest light on the stage and I could not take my eyes off her.

Now she is gone.

Marian Seldes Regal Presence of Broadway Dies at 88

She was a stage star and a star not interested in other mediums although I am certain that I first met her on the great television drama shows.

“All I’ve done is live my life in the theater and loved it,” she said. “If you can get an award for being happy, that’s what I’ve got.”

Labels: films

Today's movie was about a street performer.

And pretty zoo employees.

The life. I often wondered about both. Well, not really but if I had thought about it I would wonder.

I suppose that it is not a great opening but it is a nice movie anyway. My history is irrelevant.

It is easy to relax and sit back, watch a kind of magical romance unfold. As unlikely as it may seem. Fairy tales can be now too, right?

The Giant Mechanical Man (2012)

This is all very fluffy but sometimes good fluff is called for. Sweetness.

I will give it a 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

I have to admit I didn't know what would happen.

Supreme Court Clears Way for Gay Marriage in 5 States

So I am amazed and pleased and teary and relieved and mostly amazed. What did I expect? These guys are libertarians. I forget that.

This has taken so so long.

We began this as early as our first five years. We did all the short-of-marriage stuff.

Words cannot express how this feels. It is amazing. Unexpected.

Superlative

Superlative

Superlative.

Amen!

Labels: gay marriage

We all grow up different ways but if you are an artist, it is going to be rich with material for later on.

So I think the idea is to live it erratically as possible so that the movie will be a good one.

And if it is not worth the art then make it all up.

And so on.

All of which is a way to say that Lena Dunhams auto-bio first film is very self absorbed.

Tiny Furniture (2010)

But I am a guy and about as distant from Ms Dunham's life that it is hard to take a lot of this seriously. If it is true, I wonder if she has done major embellishments or if it is embellished, she has made something which is not very interesting. Or something.

Do I seem confused? I suppose that I am.

I didn't move this thing FF but I did think about it, the pace is so fucking slow.

She is obviously very interested in the people around her but not as much as her self. But I didn't much like them either.

I will be giving it a 2 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

The new freedom and rights of "intellectually disabled" people is very touching and, in fact, real!

Not some sociologist's vanity project. Almost all recent human rights legislation has included this category of support.

I can remember when, out of gratitude for our own children's health, my wife and I joined an association for the benefit of "retarded children". National Association for Retarded Citizens

We couldn't take it. The parents were so desperate and so dysfunctional that attendance at the meetings or any volunteer work was fraught with draining distractions. My take was that they didn't want to be helped. Certainly they did not want to let go of their self pity. And, it was hard not to feel that they resented our presence, not sharing their "problem".

This was not all of them of course, but enough. Also, because we were not parents of disabled children ourselves, our involvement was not needed unless we could do fund raising of a kind which neither one of us was prepared to do. That was my failing. I have since realized that belonging to any advocacy group implies a willingness to donate and as others to do the same. Money.

But, somehow, despite their dysfunction and with the help of some major advocacy groups, the fate of intellectually disabled children and adults has been totally changed.

This article is a good example. I challenge you to read it and not weep for joy. Which is a lot different than weeping tears of sorrow.

A Couple Gaining Independence and Finding a Bond

I am thinking now about Millard Baker who I grew up around. He was a wonderful young man. Handsome. Not a blemish on his physical exterior. But limited by a brain that didn't always want to function well in society. Occasional outbursts of inappropriate behavior balanced with quiet, almost mute, withdrawal. His parent's whole life was devoted to his care and support. They were the first people I met who were proud of their limited son and did everything to make him act independently as much as he could. They did not baby him. I remember the Dad saying quietly "Millard....." with a look of love and encouragement. Millard most often came through. They even sent him to a special school for awhile but that meant he had to live away from them. He came back. It was OK with everyone. He had loving brothers and sisters as I recall.

I have never forgotten Millard and his Dad, his family, the visible proof that love does not have to have any boundaries.

These kids getting married. Imagine. Supported in having a life of their own. Jobs, independence. Wow. They do live in a wonderful time. So do I. Just to see it happening is profoundly touching.

Labels: life

I had to go to Urgent Care this morning. I was going into the dressing room in the dark and walked right into an open drawer I did not see. It cut the shit out of my shin. 7 stitches and 4 stitches.

I did get the bleeding stopped and waited an hour to go to the Urgent Care center nearby. This is the middle ground alternative to a doctor, who I could not see today, and the Emergency Room at the Hospital which is a horror show. An all day proposition and a lot of bullshit.

This urgent care thing is the new deal. Eisenhower Hospital here has put up several of them. I have gone to this place before.

It is first come first served but there are four of five docs on site and I was there early, the second guy in line.

Easy in and then a lot of attentive work to patch me up. I got out after about 90 minutes. Slower than I would want but that is me. Impatient.

It does not hurt. It is well bandaged. I will see the same doc on Tuesday.

There was talk of washing it with soap and water and changing the dressing but the instructions say 24 to 48 hours and that will take me up to Monday night. I think that I am just going to leave it alone unless there is some trouble. Infection and all. I know pretty much what to look for and the place is open ten hours a day until then. I won't do anything stupid. I hope. Right now, I do not feel as though I could redo the dressing anyway. I am not nauseous about it. I just don't want to mess it up. That better be OK.

Nice looking place. I couldn't resist this image. It shows scenery we look at every single day!

Labels: health, injury

Today' film piles improbability upon improbability.

And at the same time, it is enjoyable and by the end I had a teary time as everything worked out as we knew it would.

I got it because it has John Cusack in it and that is enough for me.

The improbable star is Julia Roberts' sister but she is supported by a bunch of skillful players who hold her up. The male lead, the boyfriend waiting in the wings is a wonderful young mans named Chris Riggi.

An aspiring poet reaches a little too far, grasp/reach. She finds an older poet who used to be successful to help her get published. She works in an adult video store to earn a little money since she has quit college and the scholarships she depended on to live. And so forth. The nice boy works there too.

There is a lot of humor in this set piece, one liners.

I will give it a 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

Words, I love words.

I am happy to hear a new slang word! But I will not use it for awhile. No balls.

When I was a kid there was a certain maturity required to use new words. Older boys knew all the dirty words and one was guided to them carefully. The contempt involved in not knowing the meaning of a phrase or a word was deep. In or out? Up or down? With it or without.

Slang for the Ages

This article does not deal with another aspect of new slang words. Ironic usage.

In my circle, gay, wise-ass sober alkies and dopesters, there is a lot of word play which basically mocks slang. Overuses it, makes it too emphatic and always delivered with some spin in the throw.

Then we settle down and the next thing we know we are all saying it.

"Dude" though will never catch on. Only ironically. Only with a smirk. It has been too much associated with the film to be applied in the real world.

I spent a while looking at these this morning.

For some reason, I felt a whole series of reactions. Mostly emotional. It is worth taking the time to look.

The older I get the more I realize that "looking" is most of life.

Forty Portraits in Forty Years

Labels: life, photography, women

The HIV epidemic began about three years after I finally came out, moved to Boston and had begun a life of a gay man.

It should have scared me back into the closet but it did not. I had come too far.

The full force of the disease hit when I had made new friends who were suddenly gone.

I only mention this to indicate that my experience was not the same as for some men who had been out to themselves and the world since they were quite young.

For me, it was one more impediment to realizing my self. I was not going to be deterred. So I stayed and helped fight the battle. A new recruit.

I have never looked back except, occasionally, to look back and wish I had done more. But I do know that I did enough. What was served up to me.

Today I watched the film version of one of the most important books of the time. Larry Kramer's

The Normal Heart (2014).

Technically a television film. It is the same difference.

I remember reading the book and being somewhat underwhelmed. But the film version somehow saves the day.

It is much more like how I remember the times. And, in a way, they acknowledged Kramers famous anger but managed it so the story and the ideas came through.

There is no summarizing the movie. It is self contained and stands by itself.

Matt Bomer and Mark Ruffalo star along with Julia Roberts. But the characters they play are the stars. The heroes of the crisis and the people who fought for help and got it.

The film is certainly a 5 out of Netflix5. I will see it again and it will be on our DVD library.

Labels: films, gay films

I saw Marcus walking with his other Dad this morning.

I had been grocery shopping and they were crossing the street on the way home.

He is a handsome dude.

The dad, of course. That is who I meant!

But the dog is a beaut also. He has great presence. He has a bit of swagger. Airedales are like that. Proud of their heritage and their own selves.

We are at about a week of living with us.

He moved right in.

He is very comfortable here. He sleeps all over the house, he doesn't really beg around food although he will remind you that he is there. He has slept all night from the very beginning. And he does not bark. They told us that was the case.

He is not as big as Booker was. Twenty pounds less. But his spirit is so big we do not notice the size difference although when I passed them on their walk this morning he was clearly smaller than our last aire-boy.

He has had a well trained up bringing. The no-begging is a start. He also stands still for a harness, walks without pulling only gentle reminders necessary.

He is stuck on birds. He would really like to have one for his own. He will chase them but the bird is so startled by this 70 pound monster bearing down that the bird is automatically gone. Reflexes are all. Self preservation.

He has been a companion since he arrived. He is always there. Totally present.

I don't have any bad things. He has lived in a family so he understands divided loyalties and therefore charms both of us. We do not demand any priorities so it is up to him but I have no feeling at all that he is with John and not me. Also the other way round.

He loves head scratches of course. He is big on petting. He does not slide over our legs. Yet.

We are very grateful and happy that he has come to live with us.

No that is not him but that is how he looks.

Labels: Marcus

Today was Jim Jarmusch' vampire movie.

Only Lovers Left Alive (2013)

I have seen all of Jarmusch' films and this one does not disappoint.

Even though it is quite off home base and a genré film at a that, there are a lot of surprises here. First and foremost are the beautiful scenes. Color, deep as blood when it is feeding time, and blue and cold when the supplies get a little thin.

The thing here is that these vampires, Adam and Eve, (Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton) have not dined directly on humans since the 15th Century. They are modern and get their nourishment from paying off blood bank docs and the like. The implications of the names are that these guys have been here a long time!

It is not a bad existence. Direct killing is over. They are happy. There are a few other vampires around to help and provide friendship. John Hurt is their old mentor. Nicely played.

One modern problem is that some human blood has become contaminated. HIV I presume.

So they have to be careful. Hence the pure sources.

I liked this film a lot. There is not a lot of story but there is a lot of talk which is very satisfying. A little suspense as doors for the good stuff close.

In the end, they are faced with the necessity of going for the human container. How they deal with this is part of their moral dilemma.

Delicious fantasy. And Jarmusch has stayed faithful to the vampire movie tropes. A 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

That Marcus is wonderful:

He has eaten “right” since he came here.

He walks very well and pays attention to basic “commands”.

He likes people very much but not gushy, airedale classic.

He is OK with other dogs as long as they are OK with him but no troubles so far……not likely.

He sleeps all night and recognizes it is time to “get up” with me.

He stays with one of us all the time or “in the middle”.

Adores two Dad hugs and petting.

He knows the house pretty well and is not confused about where we are going. Usually.

He will go out to eat for the first time tonight because we trust him to do the right thing. We will go to a place named Jakes which is the name of their dog. The other place we are likely to go, Shermans, has dog water dishes in the outside. It is a NY deli. We view that as an invitation!

And so on and on.

And if you haven't been following, Marcus is our new canine friend who has come to stay with us and be our pal.

Labels: Marcus

Today's movie looks at a big historical event up close.

The kidnapping and assassination of Aldo Moro was a huge international event. The thing I always wonder is how the people who do this kind of political terrorism work. What do they think. Most especially, how are they with each other?

This is the major pleasure of this film. If it can be pleasing to see such terrible stuff.

Good Morning, Night (2005).

Moro is taken to an apartment where his kidnappers decide with one another how to deal with the government. The police. How to demand a "ransom" of political acts from them.

None of this works.

The ending is pretty well known. But in the meantime, drama unfolds in the apartment. The plotters disagree and agree, they come to terms with the reality of what had been only imagined. In a way, it seems they are struggling with the idea of their own success. For a few, the reality of murdering someone is no longer abstract. A reality that is chilling for them.

Maya Sansa and Luigi LoCascio are the stars. I have seen them in several other Italian films. They have terrific talent. We do not know them but that does not dim their brilliance.

The eyes. Everything is in the eyes.

The old man, Moro, is Roberto Herlitzka. I have never seen him before but he is brilliant. In the end, he regains freedom in his own mind and we see his liberation. Finally, it does not matter to him what happens. His soul is free.

We do not see the dirty part at all.

Real news clips are cleverly intertwined, usually as television reports and so on. The Pope is shown as an ineffectual non-player, pronouncing and being ignored. One interesting sidelight among many.

A 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

All about it.

Labels: gay wedding