esrosedotblog

OUR POPULATION

While talking about the crowd at the mall, ours is going away.

This morning, back from the store, some neighbors packing up to go back to Oregon.

The snowbirds are on the run.

The weather is just getting good but there are 90 degree days here and there and they freak at that.

It is OK.

There will be more shade trees to park under, easier traffic and just plain less goofy driving.

They say that, each year, more of them stay through the summer.

More businesses are staying open.

But there are some who just shut their doors until the birds come back.

In our condo complex, silence reins. It is already pretty quiet.

Labels: Palm Springs

NO WONDER ITS SO CROWDED AT THE MALL

I found these graphs fascinating.

But not surprising.

It does show that we need to quit living so close together.

But what we really need is less people.

I have ranted on this before but when I was a kid and young adult there was incredible stress on the "population explosion". The bomb.

There was a lot tried here and there to get people to tie it off.

Failed.

The RCs don't want it, the biggest enemies of birth control. Other factors, mostly the agrarians who need bodies. The ignorant and exploited.

Only China took it to heart and to the system. But no one thinks they want that kind of tough love.

And the Chinese do have a flair for the cruel mandate.

But what about the cruelty of poverty and all the rest.

The population bomb went off a long time ago. Early death and disease and now pollution will do randomly and much more cruelly what we have failed to do ourselves.

And look at me. In the middle of that time and place with all the screaming going on, we had five kids, not one of whom I could imagine doing without.

Labels: birth control, population explosion

HERO

Says it all. Period.

He will be the first but not, by any means, the last.

The arc of freedom bends slowly but surely.

Labels: coming out, gay sports

BUILDING

I wrote about the little birds that are building a nest in my cactus.

They have been hard at it all day, day in, day out.

Amazing.

We do not seem to be a bother to them.

There is a lot more today than when John took this photo.

Fascinating.

Nature in the raw.

They are intense.

I have never seen anything like this up close. We have had nesting birds nearby but never a front row seat.

I have to go near the nest every other day or so to get the hose and water.

Otherwise we are staying away.

Nifty.

Labels: birds, condo, nature

ROCK ALONG

Today's film was the "untitled" version of Russell Crowe's

Almost Famous (2000)

I watched it because the Netflix queue did a post office burp and I have 5 films in transit one way or another.

A friend loaned us some discs when he found out I was "sick". A very nice gesture.

In the bag was the boxed set of this classic.

I have never seen the extended 2.5 hour version.

A very sweet and adoring film. Adoring of the music, the fallible people, the pop press, the kids who pay the money, the whole thing.

Everyone is great, the story is happy, the results are worth the time.

In the review at the link, the NYTimes guy bemoans the fact that the theatrical version was only 2 hours. He did not want it to be over.

Now, he can take a look at this disc.

This film was a NYTimes Best film and a 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: best films, films

STATUS

My public is complaining, justly so, that I have not given the results of the cystoscopy that was done last Friday.

OK OK

No news is usually good news but it doesn't feel that way to others who are waiting to hear. Sorry.

He went in and we looked. The walls of my bladder are all bumpy. They are supposed to be smooth. The prostate is enlarged, reducing flow. This should not really be the case as it got fried when I got radiated but it is.

He took the leg catheter off to see how I would do.

I was back in the office by 3pm to get it back in.

We are on a hiatus. He wants to "let it rest" a week.

I suspect this is as much for me to get settled on the reality of it too.

I was scheduled to have a uradynamics test Monday--drink a lot of water and see if it comes out. Or how much.

I think I had that test in a sort of trial on Friday.

Here is what I think will happen. I will be given some options but basically, surgery would involve putting a tube in there. Most men, I now know a few, in this situation self-catheter every four hours or so. It is so common that there are sterile packs pre gelled and all. Of course if there is an obstruction that won't work. But he had no trouble going in with the scope and no problem putting a new leg catheter in so it is probably a breeze.

Labels: bladder, health

REBELS

Today's film was the wonderful, fantastic Russian musical

Stilyagi / Hipsters (2008)

I don't know how I missed this but I am glad that I did not.

This is from my time. The Fifties. In Russia. A severely limited society.

It is about the "kids" who built an alternative life style at that time. Hipsters. A kind of over the top cartoon of their idea of American jazz and the people who danced to it.

The music is outstanding and the story is interesting enough to keep the music afloat.

The predominant sound in the beginning is "big band" and then it evolves into a kind of jazz/rock.

The young stars perfectly capture the repressed life of party members, one of whom, Mels (Marx, Engels, Lenin and Stalin) converts and becomes a singer and saxophone player.

Not the party line at all.

People go to jail for this kind of thing.

There is a lot of music. There is sex of the kind that has love attached. There is a lot of great movie stuff, cinematography, sets, costumes. Perfect.

I enjoyed it very much and cried at the end.

I will give it a 4 or maybe a five if I decide to buy the disc. Out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

TRANSITIONS

Today's film was the NYTimes Critics' Pick documentary

Side by Side (2012)

which explores the revolutionary change in film making represented by the advent of digital processes.

Many directors. Quite a few film directors or cinematographers, weigh in on their own experiences.

The whole thing is very interesting. Informative. And a bit exciting as old timers face new technology and new timers face criticism for making fundamental changes to the art and science of making a simple movie.

The most interesting interviews are with the directors who have made award winning use of digital in their own work. James Cameron, Danny Boyle and Robert Rodriguez.

Old favorites show up to defend celluloid.

The moderator is Keanu Reeves, surprisingly knowledgable and skillful in interviewing the talking heads. His interest and energy provide continuity and life to what might have been a cold process.

Many many film clips are seen here. I saw things I did not really notice when I saw the actual film.

I am probably a better viewer now than I might have been before.

I would gladly see this again so it is a 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

NEW BOOKMARK

I still miss reading the Wall Street Journal but I couldn't get enough out of it to justify its expense which is very high.

Since then, I check in with Yahoo Business from time to time but I don't get much out of it. No color.

I do get some traction from the NewYorkTimes but it is not the same.

Now, I have found Business Insider

This is new. At least to me.

I found out about it when I read a profile of Henry Blodget, the disgraced securities analyst. Disgraced because he had a higher profile than some others but still, disgraced.

He has a second life at the helm of this newsletter which is very informative and erudite while being kinda sexy at the same time. A nice balance of irreverence and journalism, two things that ought to go hand in hand more often.

I like the site's tone and its scoops.

COMEDIAN IN CHIEF

Obama's night to give as good as he gets.

Labels: Barack Obama

FAMILY

I just finished reading/scanning

Far From the Tree by Andrew Solomon (2012)

Vast, far ranging, Solomon reports on families in which there is "one out". A child with a chronic condition or illness, a child that has behavior problems, a child whose nature separates from the rest of the family.

Solomon is gay, so he begins with that. A gay kid comes into a straight family. S/he is "far from the tree". You know, those "apples that (mostly) don't fall far away"?

There are some that do.

But there are many other kinds of "apples" that fall away. He explores all families who have a stranger in their midst.

As a gay man, his experience helps me continue the life long look at the distance between me and other family members.

Finally, having looked at many other kinds of apples, he comes back to home base again. He takes a look at his own experience in having kids as a gay father. With straight kids.

The book is filled, filled, filled with stories of families and kids. Solomon makes his points then tells the stories.

I could not read every page. I got the gist of it in the first half or so and then scanned. It is a door stop sized volume.

I think that it is half scholarly although Solomon is a journalist. It has a huge bibliography and notes section.

The most intriguing, actually, for me, was to read about families who ended up with a kid who became a criminal, a delinquent, an outlaw. A congenital liar is featured. Also the parents of one of the Columbine kids.

How the families react to their unusual kin is one thing. How society treats the kid and the family another. Then there is the law.

I don't think there are any pat answers in this book. I didn't expect any. It is a side of human experience that has never been so fully explored.

I am glad that I took it on. And I have had enough.

In my own life, I have been able to find some stability and acceptance in being different in my family both in my past and present.

The one thing about being gay is that one can come out. Face the family, tell the truth, give everyone a chance to adjust to that. to change the ways I operate. It is difficult but achievable.

A kind of peace seems possible for people facing other big differences as well.

Autism, disability, even prodigies. The kids who are different at the other end of the spectrum.

Inspiring is not a word that I throw around easily but these people that Solomon visits and works with are just that. All of them use love as a basic tool in dealing with the differences that have been dealt to and for them.

Labels: books, gay identity

THE PROFESSIONAL LEFT

A lot of lefties make money out of being irate over Bradley Manning.

Look, he is on trial for treason.

He has pled guilty to many of the charges against him.

Yes, he is gay, but it is time that we accept there are bad people who happen to be gay. It is part of "the revolution".

Not to say that he is guilty but he has pled to releasing secret docs which are said to endanger real people all over the world.

So I was shocked but not surprised to see that some genius at the San Francisco Gay Pride committee had announced that this weasel Manning would be the grand marshal? Excuse me?

Now, gladly, I see that "they" have retreated and pulled this coal out of the fire. Also glad the outrage was sufficient for them to do so.

Bradley Manning Won't Be SFO Pride Grand Marshall.

Good.

Had they gone ahead with this hare brained scheme it would be an embarrassment for all gay people even the ones stupid to want to do it in the first place.

There is no place for this kind of controversy in the movement.

Over and over certain groups inject leftist of the left crackpot ideas into gay politics.

Glad to see that some faces are red and some hands got slapped.

Bradley Fucking Manning. I can't believe it.

But then I can. Same old shit, new box to put it in.

Labels: democratic whack jobs

GROWING PAINS

Today's film was

The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)

based on a young adult novel of the same name by the writer and director of this film. A one man show.

This is a coming of age film about an introverted kid. Hands up for all those who qualify! See this movie.

The kid finds other "misfits" to hook up with after a bad patch of isolating. This, in turn, leads to a life different than he expected for himself which, in turn, reveals old wounds as yet unhealed which will need fixing.

There is considerable gay content in the film very nicely done. Smart, good looking young actors. A nicely balanced cast of good and bad friends.

I liked it a lot. Sniffles at the end. I would be happy to see it again. A 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

SELL OUT

Our next food neighbor, Jim, has sold his condo.

He was asking more than we thought anyone could get and pretty much got what he asked for.

This is good news for us.

We have been technically underwater for awhile as prices fell just after we bought our unit. Jim bought his almost at the same time.

There has been a lot of fuss here about our land leases with the tribe. Don't ask. Banks were reluctant to loan to people because of it. Now, there has been some stability restored in the situation, so voila! Prices are up.

We have ended up liking Jim after some initial boundary issues kept us at odds.

We will miss him.

We hear that the new owner is a "mature", single, gay man.

It is always a little iffy, new neighbors, but not so much here as we are like row houses. Neighbors are almost always unseen and unheard.

I don't suppose the new guy knows that there is a rat in the walls between our unit unless Jim put it down as one of his "disclosures". It is not a problem, really, but the rat makes more fuss than Jim ever did.

They were inspecting the house the other day. On the roof, which is actually not part of the unit, up the walls and in and out. Booker does not like this. Every one of them is an intruder.

But things will settle down. The new guy will move in, Booker and we will get to know him and he will fade into the scenery as much or more than all the other neighbors we rarely see or bump into.

Labels: Booker, condo

MATRIARCH

By all accounts Barbara Bush is a tough lady and she says what she thinks.

She sure weighed in today.

We've Had Enough Bushes

I couldn't agree with her more.

I would say "more" than enough but I will take her point of view.

How could Jeb buck his mom?

Labels: bushies

ZERO DARK THIRTY

This was today's film.

Zero Dark Thirty (2012)

This is a great film vastly complicated by the emotions involved in recent history from 9-11 through the events which this picture is about.

I hung in. It is a long one.

But then so was the chase and the final execution.

It gets teary toward the end.

Jessica Chastain is the one who sees the thing through. Singular vision. Passion.

A great actress carrying a great film. The writing and direction immaculate.

The parts which were "controversial"? Not for me.

The ending is dark and green and noisy and silent and fully satisfying.

Would I want to see this again? Not likely. Too harrowing.

But the rating for it has to be a 5 out of Netflix5. A NYTimes Critics' Pick. Fully deserved.

Labels: films

ANYWHERE I HANG MY HAT IS HOME

John came to get me a while ago.

We went and looked out the dining area slider.

There, in a kind of cactus tree I have, part of my "collection", maybe two feet tall are two birds.

Building a nest.

Busy, busy, busy. And pretty much unafraid.

Well the have no reason to be afraid, if the cactus tree doesn't topple of their weight. But they are both in the tree now, in and out, landing, taking off. Bits of thread, grass, the rest.

This is very nice.

This is one of the bird couples who come to visit our water fountain on a regular basis.

Convenient housing nearby.

No. I do not know what kind of bird they are. I don't do birds. I watch them. That is enough. Man names them. They don't care.

Labels: birds

JUST THE FACTS

We heard a lot about the stampede for scoops last week. We also heard our President suggest that people wait for the facts.

Well, here they are. And they are a lot different, sometimes crucially from what we heard. The great thing about traditional newspapers is that they come behind the elephants and sweep up. Neatly and cleanly. When they are gone, what will we do?

Officer's Killing Spurred Pursuit in Boston Attack

This is a 'tick-tock", carefully compiled days after the events.

Some things that we did not know before.

They killed the MIT policeman to get his gun. They only had one gun, the older brother's. They did not succeed in getting the officer's. It had a triple lock holster and they couldn't figure it out.

This fruitless act called attention and started their run for escape.

The story about the Mercedes guy, still anonymous, is more hair raising than we thought. The guy in the Mobil store, obviously an Arab, saved the day. His story is here.

There was no robbery of a 7-11.

When cornered, they still only had one gun. Plus explosives, pipe bombs evidently.

The kid ran over his brother when he escaped and probably killed him although we don't know.

The kid did not have a gun so he did not try to shoot himself. His wounds are from the firing of (what I would think were gun happy) cops. Thereby almost losing the one witness who could tell anything about what happened.

The interrogators got 16 hours with the kid before the judge showed up and he got a lawyer. A long time, actually, although the law as people try to interpret would allow more, maybe 72 hours.

If you compare this with the "story" as put together by the press and networks, there is a considerable difference some of which is crucial.

Of course, they have so much on the kid that a compromised confession is frosting on the cake but still.

This is nothing new of course.

People are shocked that the press gets things so wrong.

I am not.

I was in public life for about 6 years, local government but highly visible.

I was good press bait because I said things one wasn't supposed to say and answered questions no one else would. The reporters would come to me.

But it was just hell getting them to tell the story right. Eventually, I just wrote the stuff out for them, printed.

It is not too different today. Most reporters are likable souls in dead end jobs, often with several bosses, usually drug or alcohol dependent and always bone tired.

Some of the nicest, amusing and rambunctious unhealthy people I have ever known.

Labels: media, terrorism

DISSONANCE

Today's movie was the NYTimes Critics' Pick

A Late Quartet (2012)

I didn't like it.

There were two quartet films that came out at the same time and I had reason to believe that this was the one worth seeing. Maybe not.

Actors fake playing instruments is always perilous and this is no exception. I have the hunch that they had to redub the whole thing because the lip synch is off from time to time. Disturbingly so.

I don't even want to go into why it is wrong wrong wrong.

I just didn't like the story, the actors, the music or even the direction or photography.

But I can be a bastard about things like this and it had, as it turns out, three of my least favorite actors in it. Walken, Keener and Hoffman who can be good but not today.

A rare 1 out of Netflix5.

OH! In this trailer look for the RKO antenna logo! I have not seen it for decades. Wonderful. Better than the fucking movie.

Labels: films

I WILL HAVE IT WITH THE JIMMIES PLEASE

This may surprise you but it was not until today at about 10AM PSDT that I realized I have no idea which is which.

Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel.

I think that I just figured they were the same guy.

How is this possible?

Now I have some more clarity but, to tell the truth, after reading this, I still have no idea how to tell them apart.

Jimmy vs. Jimmy, the Late Night Battle to Come

I know that one of these is replacing Leno.

I know that one of these does bits which I like a lot.

Are they the same Jimmy?

So Fallon is the one that does the funny singing bits with Timberlake.

Kimmel is the guy who has the "which is the gay one" type of street interview.

Really?

They are not the same guy?

I am serious about this.

I am totally gobsmacked.

Help.

Does anyone else care?

Labels: culture

CHECKING IN

I have not been to the gym in ten days which is like an eon for me.

And I am not going to be there any time soon. Maybe in a couple of weeks, maybe not.

I can't go as long as I have the apparatus in me.

I realized that while I know a lot of people, I have no phone numbers. Nor them of me.

I wondered if they missed me of course but I also knew that I missed seeing them.

So I saddled up this morning and went in.

I couldn't have picked a better day. They were all there. Youseff who I have known for years, Gene the other left winger, Stu and Wayne, who came to us as a set (just friends) when the 24 Hour gym closed, Sol who I know well from another place, the "girls", three intense young women who work out so hard the floor shakes sometimes, Chris the AC guy, my good buddy John whose husband nearly died from a coronary and I could be there for him, Craig who is a muscle head, in a good way, and some others who I nod to. And of course John at the desk who told me that a few had wanted my phone number that he couldn't give them but he would have called me soon to get them off his back.

I even ran into the guy who owns the energy drink place across the plaza on his way in. I see him every month or so.

These are people who I see more or less every day, more often than family. All have some tug on my heart. One way or another. And they like me in return.

Over the years, I have seen people I knew not come back to the gym. I never saw them again. And had no idea what happened to them. They never said goodbye. Of course, some of these never said hello either but there were some who stuck and were friendly. Then gone.

I know that a gym is not the best place to expect any consistency of acquaintance let alone friendship. But still. I miss some of them.

Now, my peeps know I am OK, just not attending now for health reasons but that I am OK, alive, coming back.

I also now have Youseff and John's phone numbers and they mine.

Labels: friends, gym

MORE TESTS

Went to the urologist today and he is asking me to have a cystoscopy Friday and a urodynamics test ten days later.

In the meantime, the catheter stays in and there will be no gym. No jostling.

It is a little discouraging but there is no quick pill fix.

In the meantime, I don't feel bad, I have all my faculties and life is normal. More or less.

Made chicken curry without the yogurt sauce tonight.

There is no shortcut there either.

It was dry.

So, back to the original.

We did have a new shredded mango chutney which was outstanding.

The whole point of chicken curry is to have the chutney.

When we went to the Virgin Islands every year there was a great restaurant there featuring curries.

They were served with the "five boys", meaning a five pot tray with chutney, coconut and some other stuff. No five boys here.

I remember. It was the Comanche Restaurant.

Wrong kind of Indian. Funny.

These are not the five boys either.

Labels: food, health

INCLUSIVE

Labels: republican whack jobs

POINTER

We are not going to ask Booker to try this out.

Science Enlisting a Virtual Pack to Study Dog Minds

It takes four hours and costs some money.

I already accept that he is smart enough to figure me out and get me to solve his problems for him.

Look, he has been with us for three years and, not once, has had to fill a food dish, open a can, cook a meal, figure out how to get to the vet.

On the other hand, he has us walking or not walking wherever he wants to go. He is in the lead.

He is able to manage our time for us. He is a lot better at knowing when it is time for the walk, the meal, the nap and so on.

There is one thing that I believe he would fail at.

He has yet to have a clue when I say "look". He will look, no question. In all directions. No effect.

I suspect that he was trained early to respond to the word "look" in a specific way. Not our way. It is me that doesn't know what the word means or what to do about it.

I like that "they" are finally figuring out that it is important to understand dogs.

I personally figure that it is a key pathway to understanding more about me. Booker has many of the answers. We just need to decode them.

Labels: Booker, dogs

COLLATERAL DAMAGE

I am always interested in the other people in the lives of killers, psychopaths, the "innocent bystanders".

What does it feel like to be a parent of a killer? A bomber? How does that play out?

In his book Far From the Tree, Andrew Solomon reserves an entire section for these people.

Unlike a family visited by a child's disability or even prodigy, the parent of a kid who "goes bad" is as estranged from having a normal parent relationship and is also blamed, somehow, for the situation.

Social disapproval is intense.

In the case of the Marathon Bombers (easier than spelling their names and, in a way, I don't want to name them) we have heard from the parents and aunts and uncles.

The range of reaction is wide. Some think "the nice boys" were set up. Others are baffled. Not one has refused to be interviewed. In a way they seem to have wallowed in it.

I was surprised to see that there is a wife. And a child.

Talented Artist Now Bombing Suspect's Wife

And, a young woman who is a child of other parents, a doctor. Not that doctors get any exemption.

Keerist.

I know. Others have suffered mightily. Why be concerned with this young woman. This child?

I don't know. It is collateral damage.

This is going to be awful for them. For the kid.

Tragedy doesn't stop at some doorsteps. It enters almost every door.

I knew a woman whose daughter was recruited into a cult. It seems similar to me.

Powerless.

On the other hand, it could be the beginning of a challenging life. Like any other situation it depends on us to marshal our resources and overcome or transcend or work through shit like this.

Labels: crime, society

AWOL

I have been very sick for the past week.

The blog came second and third and often not at all.

I had a lot of pain in the abdomen a week ago Monday and went to the local, right up the street, Urgent Care, a new facility just made for this kind of situation.

I thought I might have appendicitis but they told me that could not be the case as I would not have been able to drive there and would be in acute pain.

But I had pain enough.

The doc pummeled me around and identified a problem with my bladder. Tight as a drum.

They have the facilities of a small modern hospital there and it was easy to get a cat scan to see what was going on.

I had what one doc would later describe as a "horribly" distended bladder.

I have evidently had this for some time. Slow urine flow backs the bladder up and the result is distension.

It is common among, ahem, old guys who have a history of peeing problems, in my case, probably, the result of past years' radiation and slowdown. My prostate while "dead" is enlarged apparently.

So.

They put in a catheter and drained it. I lost a lot of water.

They can't move too quickly as there can be spasming of the bladder and something not good for the kidneys. So they left the catheter in.

That night, being tired out from six hours in the urgent care, we went out to dinner and when I came home I lost it all. No one told me not to eat.

So I didn't for a few days.

And I was sick as a dog. My abdomen missed its distension. Adjustments are always difficult.

It took a week to come to a balance point.

Yesterday, I went to the kidney doc I had been seeing and she pretty much acknowledged that my kidneys had been affected by this and that my function tests would have to be redone entirely. End of this week.

She did point out some really good news and that was based on the cat scan there is no other culprit on the scene for the kidney problem. So far. I definitively do not have cancer.

Today is the urologist who I am hoping will take the catheter out, prescribe flo max or something to try and take me on as a client. Patient.

We shall see. I think that I qualify.

I feel a lot better, am eating normally and have a good level of energy.

I have not been back to the gym because I can't really work out, for now, with the tubes in me.

If he takes them/it out today, I will be in the gym, on my bike, in my shorts tomorrow morning.

Even if I just go in and pedal a little bit.

Sorry to have been away. A lot has happened this week.

I don't have a lot to say about it anyway. The gun control bill, the marathon bombing.

I will try to pick up where I left off.

Labels: health, kidney, urology

NEW ZEALAND MARRIAGE EQUALITY

Labels: marriage equality

MEAN GIRLS

Today's movie was a NYTimes Critics' Pick

Bachelorette (2012)

I wouldn't have watched this but for the Times review.

And I am glad I did.

But Lord, is this "comedy" mean.

Kirsten Dunst brilliantly leads the trio of women stunned to learn that their friend fat Becky is actually the first of the four to get married and to a handsome rich guy.

She is the heroine. Sweet and willing to face life which the others have not yet tried, opting instead for smart talk, drugs, sex and wishful thinking.

The three are losers. And, as losers, they can't stand the reality that the "least" among them is actually a winner. The butt of their jokes turns it around.

This could be a setup for tragedy or, in this case, satire, as the three b/witches get their comeuppance often hilariously.

This was a one set play so the interaction and jokes are fast paced and the opening into NYC make it even more fast paced and intense.

It took me awhile to climb on board but I did and, in the end, enjoyed the movie very much as well as the ending in which everyone gets something but the fat girl gets it all.

I tried subtitles for awhile because I wasn't getting the jokes but then quit and relaxed. It is funny enough whether I heard it all or not.

Would I want to see this again? No way. But I am glad that I saw it once.

A 3 out of Netflix5. Maybe a 2 because it is so mean spirited and I don't think anyone learns one fucking thing. No moral of the story. Except that the fat girl wins. Good for her.

Labels: films

ROUGH

Today's film was Jacques Audiard's*

De rouille et d'os / Rust and Bone (2012)

also a NYTimes Critics' Pick.

A totally unconventional melodrama which has an old theme, a boxing picture and a disability picture, rolled into one totally unique bundle.

I say this to just get the obvious out of the way.

The truth of the film is that two totally different people find each other and work through all the problems and difficulties that each of them face as individuals as well as how those hardships fall on the relationship.

There is some stunning acting by Marion Cotillard and Matthias Schoenaerts.

The film and its symbols are all of a piece, even the Orca whale we see in the beginning of the film.

Sometimes the film is hard to sit through and every time it pays off.

There is something about formulas in film making that can open doors, to see the world in different ways, and, ultimately to see that for "all" of us, the world is very much the same. The formula fits.

The power of the film is worth taking in again and, I bet, again, so I will give this one a 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

GET AWAY

Today's film was

L'homme qui voulait vivre sa vie / The Big Picture (2010)

with Romain Duris and Neils Arestrup.

This is a great picture of a guy who has everything, gets in a lot of trouble and gets away.

Conflicted and torn, he gets a new identity only to find that he cannot escape himself and not in the ways we would figure.

He is caught in his own talents and skills.

He cannot help himself from being successful and therefore visible.

The french title is more descriptive, "the man who wanted to live his life"

There is a flaw in this film and that is the ending which no one other than me seems to like.

I thought it made complete sense and was exciting too.

I love both main actors. They have a person, that is sure, but in this film Duris' is turned upside down.

I would be happy to see it again even though I have the ending now. It is not about the ending, more about a beginning as the old lives are sort of horseshit and he knows it.

Labels: films

QUIET

Never ever saw it like this.

There is a first time for everything.

Ten Surreal Before and After Pictures of Deserted Boston

Labels: Boston, terrorism

EDGE OF THE SEAT

Today's movie was Ben Affleck's

Argo (2012)

At last. A Hollywood movie that is fully satisfying!

It is amazing that knowing the ending makes no difference. It is an exciting and race to the finish line and somehow it seems as though just this time they might not make it.

I especially appreciated John Goodman and Alan Arkin. Ben Affleck has come a long way.

The whole thing works together very nicely.

Not a lot more to say. Those fuckin' Iranians be crazy.

A 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

FULL THROATED

Put to rest the idea that Obama is a cool detached college professor.

He is pissed.

Labels: Administration Obama

MEMORIES

Today's film was the BBC production of

Christopher and His Kind (2011)

I have seen it before but I wanted something easy for me today.

This is not a run through of the stage musical based on the same material. It stands on its own legs and is very good.

Isherwood is a gay hero today and rightly so.

He was bravely out all his life. A model. And he did it when the nazis were running wild at the beginning of the bad time in Europe.

It is a very nicely appointed production and does the job.

The film is bravely out as well.

An automatic 5 out of Netflix5 as I have seen it before and will see it again.

Labels: films, gay films

FEELING

It has taken awhile for me to wrap my mind and body around the bombing in Boston.

I lived in Boston for more than 38 years if you don't count the few times I left to work in another city.

From the time I went to school there it has been in my heart.

Our last ten years are only a five or ten minute walk from the bomb site.

I never went to see the end of the marathon as it was too crowded. I liked the idea of it but there were too many people on my front lawn.

Finally, after two days, I read this and I got it. What I was feeling or not feeling.

Messing With the Wrong City

I like the "going on with life" kind of revenge. These bastards only do these things for the purpose of fear. It is not even retaliation.

Some stupid faith or obsession.

The cops will work it out. The courts will have their day. There will be punishment.

Ask how people feel about the drones now if we knew who the perps were. Zingo.

But that is a side dish.

Go on with life Boston.

I miss you.

I wish I was there to hold your hands now.

But my heart is there.

Labels: Boston

ODD COUPLE

Today's film was a remake of all the culture clash films and racial stereotype movies right down to Driving Miss Daisy. It is based on a true story but then real life is often a cliché.

That said, it is a good cliché and this is better than most.

The chemistry between the two men and their growing affection for each other is palpable.

They are, indeed, brothers under the skin.

I liked it. There are a bunch of set pieces which, while predictable, are very well done.

I am glad that I saw it and am willing to watch it again just to see these fine actors working together. The white rich guy is a dead ringer for Dustin Hoffman and has adopted some of his tics. Not a bad thing but sometimes a little too close for comfort.

Labels: films

TODAY'S MOVIE

Was shown in the Urgent Care Facility just up the street. Six hours or more for all the workup and shit.

I thought that I had appendicitis this morning and went to urgent care just up the street.

Good news. It was not appendicitis. They said, if it was, I wouldn't have gone to urgent care. The pain would be so great it would be to the ER. Good to know.

When I got there I told them how I have had gastric distress for the last almost a week. "So you were doctoring yourself?" Nurses are like that.

My theory was that my irritable bowel syndrome was acting up in response to some bad eating choices last week and the introduction coffee into my life about the same time.

Good news. It is not the bowels. I had a tight abdomen and very gassy but no dice on the IBS.

I told them about my kidney problems, the elevated function or the lower function which ever. I don't remember.

Good news. Not the kidneys and in fact a catscan revealed no cancer! There is nothing in there that is not supposed to be. I have been worrying about my recent ultra sound results ever since.

Even better news that.

What I have is a distended bladder. Hardened from too much work to get the urine out. Pressing on my stomach and stuff.

My UC doc (Andy) called my kidney doc and my regular doctor, Dr. Jim.

Good news. The kidney doc pointed out that my kidney elevation (or lowering) as well as the blood pressure problems I have been having could be rooted in this bladder deal.

What I need to do is to see a urologist and they made an appointment next week with a guy Dr. Jim approves of and likes.

Good news.

In the meantime, they drained the bladder, yeh, the abdominal pain went away mostly.

Good news, well they did it with a catheter. Not bad.

And they installed a trouser bag to wear until I see the urology guy. Don't worry guys. It burns a bit going in but is quite acceptable especially given the diagnosis of "not cancer" which would be quite painful, eventually.

Not so great news but what the hell?

I am not worried about it. When I go "out" I will probably wear long pants (gym pants at the gym) but around the house, shorts are fine, indeed preferable because I do have to empty the bag from time to time.

So that is it. They were great with me, the nurses, Dr. Andy. All of them

I am at peace.

I have to empty the bag but it beats wearing the Depends at night.

I can't think of anything else.

I will keep you posted.

Labels: health

I LOST AT THE COMMENTS

I usually stay away from the comment section of the political, or any other for that matter, blogs but I got caught today.

Some guy on Daily Kos got onto Obama today about his new budget which will "destroy" social security. I guess he isn't a socialist after all.

Some days I am ashamed to be a progressive or a liberal or whatever.

So I went to see if others' reaction to this post were as negative as mine.

No. They were worsed.

I finally ran into a couple of people who were balanced, saw the Obama strategy as a strategy and understood negotiation as a process.

So I wrote this

I am with you David54. And a few others who have the courage to call some of this insanity out. I read the comments on this post and come away with the strong feeling that us so called "progressives" can foam at the mouth and be a'ginners just as much as those right wing nuts. Not a grasp at all of the political process or the art and science of hard ball. The Obamas are not angels but they are running their game with a considerable skill which somehow the ranters choose to ignore. I am on SS incidentally. I don't much like compromises with MY entitlements either. And yes, I know all about the national debt and SS role in it. I also know the debt has halved in the last months and I also know that there has to be a way to paint the GOoPers into their ugly littler corner. A little bait is a good thing guys. Otherwise we are the same as them. It is as bad to be all in for some fixed position on one side as the other.

Labels: democratic whack jobs

ALONE

Today's final, for now, François Ozon film was

Le Refuge / Hideaway (2009)

A young unmarried couple, heroin addicts, OD on a bad bag.

The woman survives. She is pregnant.

She attends the funeral and then goes to a country place for the duration after she defies the rich family and refuses an abortion.

She is met there by Paul, her late partner's brother and they stay awhile together.

That is it.

But it is pretty spectacular it. Paul is a gay man so their relationship has its limits but they fall into love with one another anyway. Platonic can be OK too.

This study of a relationship is beautifully carried out and never waivers from a heart felt appreciation for the fact that one will be taken care of no matter what happens. This occurs for the young mother to be from the very start of her recovery.

This is the film that I saw which tipped my to Ozon as a special writer/director.

It still rings with truth. Beautifully acted. Very nice.

So it is a 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

GETTIN' READY

I made my reservations for my August "vacation" today.

As usual, I will be going to Shelter Island across from Downtown San Diego for four days.

Just me. Alone.

I have been doing this for a number of years. The Bay Club and Marina.

I used to work here giving trainer seminars and occasionally I would stay over to just veg out.

There are two sides to the place, like most small hotels. But few small hotels have this view or ambience.

A room on the city side has a view of the big bay, the boat channel, the naval air base and the much much closer boat ramp where people go out to and return from fishing trips.

On the other side is a huge marina. Closeup. The sounds are totally lulling. Water, creaking, masts singing.

There is life in the marina, in fact some people live on their boats but not too many to make it a pain.

I prefer this side.

There is a medium size concert venue next door, Humphreys. A lot of B acts. Well, some stars. Under the stars. If one has a room on this side then the concert is free or, as I usually do, you can shut the slider, pull the drapes and the room is virtually soundproof.

The food. Great little restaurant. A "free" breakfast, meaning you get charged whether you use it or not, includes a whole array of hot dishes and the usual cold.

Lunch? Great sandwiches and such.

The evening meal is really worth the stay. Great cooking and a nice choice.

I never leave the property.

Well, I do go for two long walks in the morning. One before breakfast and another when they come to make up my room.

And there is the boat ramp on the other side. There is great people watching. And at least one seal taking on the returning boats leavings. A huge flock of pelicans too. This requires three or four visits a day.

August is the hottest month in the year. I drive up the big mountain and over the top, the back way, and then some on the Interstate.

Easy.

Labels: vacation

EPIC

Today's film was Jean-Jacques Arnauad's

Day of the Falcon (2011)

It used to be called "Black Gold".

Not successful at the box office though not treated well by the distribution.

It is all Arabs, no Israelis. In the 20s, tribes fight over whether they should drill (decadence) or not and then when they do they all fight over it.

It is a potboiler.

The reason I got the DVD is that it features Tahar Rahim (The Prophet) and I would cross a desert to watch him.

He is an Arab prince who sees both sides, old and new. Starts a scholar, ends a canny warrior.

It pushes all the conventional buttons, a perfect score. But in the end it is not anything but beautiful, exciting, heartwarming, exhilarating and overall, a good time.

Too bad it didn't go anywhere. Rahim is getting more traction now with some new films on the way. I have them in my queue.

I would be happy to see this again just for the hell of it and to watch my young actor do his job.

Labels: films

GONE

Labels: fun, obituary

DONE

We sent in our IRS returns this week.

We are the beneficiaries of the communal property laws in the State of California. The IRS does not recognize our marriage but they do recognize that certified domestic partners in communal property states get to file a joint return.

We have been doing this for a couple of years and also filed ammendments for the years between our certification and the new ruling.

It took over a year and numerous scare letters to get the previous years worked out. They even attached John's social security check (they can only do a small amount, I think 79.00. It would be big if that was all you got for income).

The last two years it has worked out but something always goes wrong.

Last year they did not send me a refund check and kept the balance.

This year, I am asking them to use the money they kept (and paid a lot of interest on) against this year's return.

The fact is that I do not know how much that balance is. We will find out when they apply it to this years owed tax. Which is not much.

There are years when I have paid a geenormous amount of tax. No more.

I take the minimum required out of my IRA and then have the max social security for a person my age. I always hit the ceiling even when they raised it so high.

The returns we send in are marked as SPECIAL and the cover sheet is on salmon paper. This is to avoid some lamebrain from ripping the return apart on receipt. But more and more the lamebrains know what the deal is.

Progress moves slowly but it does move.

Labels: money, taxes

HEAD SHOT

Obama remembers Dukakis and Kerry.

Labels: Barack Obama

GOTTA GO

My gym friend John is going to the first Coachella weekend.

If you wonder what that is and, perhaps, if you want to see him in the crowd, go Here.

There is a live cam available as well as the full list of events below.

They are having perfect weather.

I realized, after we talked about it, that I would like to see this festival first hand.

I think I will ask him to help me get a ticket next year.

There are buses (80 buck pass) that run continuously from a couple of PS locations.

Would I stay the whole time? Probably not.

I just want to take in the scene.

It is hell getting tickets but we will see.

How come? Why do I want to go? Because it is there. I have never gone to an outdoor concert. I would like to walk around and take it in.

I wouldn't even mind if I didn't like it.

And it is only twenty miles away (guess). Why not?

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

Today's film was a gay entry. From the straight (oops) to DVD variety.

A romantic comedy.

The Men Next Door (2012)

It is funny and then gets serious.

The hero meets the two men next door, a father and son duo, one person at a time and doesn't draw the connection until he has formed a romantic relationship with each.

He is 40, the dad is 50 and the kid is 30. Symmetry. And a little too pat but what the hell.

When the nickel drops, there are some hurt feelings, some complications, and eventually a decision.

Very tightly scripted and fast moving. Has great sex scenes. Further than is normal for this type of R Rated film. But what the hell. There are no kids who are going to see this.

The hero's friends are not too annoying. He has a non-identical twin who is good for straight advice.

There are a lot of angles. Some are not smoothed off. We do go from comedy to serious business. Who will end up with each other?

I liked it. I probably will not buy it. It is a good solid 3 out of Netflix5 and, just for the record, he did not go with the one I wanted him to.

*We are not done with François Ozon but Netflix let me down and I will get the last of the series today or Monday.

No problem. That is why I have the 6 disc package.

Labels: films, gay films

GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

On April 12, 1945, Franklin D. Roosevelt, the 32nd president of the United States, died of a cerebral hemorrhage in Warm Springs, Ga., at age 63. Vice President Harry S Truman became president.

Read more about it HERE

This is one of those days that I remember so clearly.

I was only 8.

My Dad was knocked for a loop. He revered FDR, we had a 12 inch bust in the house. An American flag in the pedestal.

As always, in time of trouble, family trouble usually, we loaded into the car and went to my Mother's oldest sister, Aunt Flora.

The sadness of this day is palpable.

It was totally unexpected although, at 63, he looked much older.

He had led the world through the Second World War and was near victory.

No one was prepared for it but the transition went very smoothly.

FDR was buried the next day. Astonishingly fast.

Truman took control and, in my estimation, was one of our greatest Presidents. The transition was smooth. It was wartime, after all.

Funny. The day FDR died, it was also a Friday.

One other thing. For those who think vitriol is new, particularly from the other side, Claire Smith and his wife from down the street declared it "good riddance". They hated FDR. Accused Eleanor of being a "high yellow" negro (the n-word of course. "Black" was not yet used, anywhere).

I am glad that I grew up next to bastards like the Smiths. They helped me get ready for a lifetime of this kind of thing.

John and I visited Campobello Island one year on the way to the Maritimes. A road trip.

The summer house is kept just as the Roosevelts left it.

On the porch there is an empty wheel chair. There is food in the refrigerator, the real thing. When you go around a corner an ancient radio is playing one of his speeches.

It is one of the best sites of its kind I have ever seen. Only Appomatox comes close for chills and deep feelings.

Labels: history, life

THE PRISON OF BELIEF

Labels: republican whack jobs

CHICKEN LITTLE TAKES A BREAK

With all the sweat about the deficit it seems that people have not noticed that the "deficit crisis" is on its way of solving itself!

Raw Data, the Deficit is Shriiiiiinking

What about all the prognosticators? Wrong as usual.

The doomsday people? Quiet. The election is over after all.

This morning, I noticed that FoxNews has turned its attention to the threat of North Korea. (They are about to attack LA).

I am not an economist, but I have lived long enough to understand that a)The country is not like a business or a family. Borrowing is an important positive to manage the economy.

In addition, b), most of the debt is not held by foreign countries, notably China. It is held by Americans. File that one away too.

We owe it to ourselves in more ways than one.

The air is filled with nonsense which is often taken way too seriously. Adam Smith's "invisible hand" has not been cut off. It is moving and pushing and holding and correcting.

Labels: economy

HOW DID IT GO?

Today's François Ozon film was

5x2 (2005)

A bit of time travel backward here.

We see the end of a relationship. The cold hard facts of a divorce and one last fuck to seal the deal.

What happened to these people to make them so hard?

We go back in time to find out.

Five periods. Backwards. The next one shows them with their son at home.

Before (or after) that we see them as the son is born.

Eventually we see them meet.

Each period leaves a new question about what went or is going wrong.

Ozon lets us figure it out as we move back in time.

Basically it would appear that these two never got to know each other or to break out of their original positions working for the same company. Ooops. Spoiler there.

Watch the position of the sun at the end of the first segment.

Nice other stuff like a gay brother happily with his boyfriend and a look at othe relationships, parents etc.

This is a little bit of a stretch. The format doesn't allow us to get to close either. To know them any better than they know each other. But there are numerous clues. See what the next 24 hours bring.

I spent last night processing the film we saw yesterday and which touched both of us very much. A lot came through that wasn't immediately obvious as we watched that film.

In the meantime this is a 3 out of Netflix 5

Labels: films

BURNING OUT

Today's François Ozon's film was the elegiac

Le temps qui reste / Time to Leave (2005)

In this, a young man finds that he has metastasized cancer and only has several months to live.

How he deals with family and lover relationships, job, getting his affairs in order, is the quiet study of this film.

Melvil Poupaud is the young man whose acceptance of his fate is complete except for his denial of the importance of other people in his life.

His summary dismissal of a lover, a terminal fight with his sister, his neglect of his job follow and indicate the slow decline in the life of what/who is not a very nice person. Petulant and dismissive of others, his ego almost sinks him before he grabs a life raft, ironically, offered by a stranger.

It is a little hard to like him in the beginning. But Ozon keeps that part cool enough that it becomes interesting to see what he will do.

He does what I think most people would do. But in a quite unique way.

He does not go the medical route but stays with his caring and philosophical doctor. That is one good relationship. He reconciles with his lover even though he is still unable to tell the truth about what is happening.

The only completely candid (he is a photographer) contact is with his grandmother, the delightful Jeanne Moreau, now a matriarch of French cinema.

It is in their scenes together that the young man comes out of his shell and becomes deeply human and empathetic for us.

This is one man's journey. He is offered opportunities, some of which he turns down. He is offered others, some surprising, which he takes up.

This film escapes sentimentality. It shows courageous and rugged individualism. It points out that in times of trouble it may not be the best thing to follow traditional paths. That in the end, we are alone, and get to follow our own paths.

I recognize that I have not told you that the young man is gay. It is beside the point really. He does gay things and feels gay feelings apparently but most of all he gets to know himself. A younger version of himself appears to him from time to time to underline this. Very nicely done.

Ozon is very good at using reverie, memory and dreams as a way to show people's past and present and how they fit together.

This is the second film of a planned three about death, how to deal with it.

The other day we saw a film about the loss of a mate. Today, the near loss of one's self.

I liked this very much. I will plan to see it again.

That makes it a 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

STAGES OF GRIEF

Today's François Ozon film was

Sous le sable / Under the Sand (2001)

with Charlotte Rampling as a wife, Marie, who went to the beach with her husband one morning when he disappeared. While swimming. Maybe.

This is a simple premise. No body is found so Marie goes home and tries to resume her life, grappling, in the meantime, with the process of grieving and coming to grips with the good probability that her husband is dead and gone.

And that is the movie.

We watch, we feel, we empathize. In Ozon's skill as a director and Rampling's ability to convey all the stages of grief we know about, and some that are new, we have an unmatched experience.

There is no melodrama here. No spilled blood. There is some frank talk and some rough times particularly when Marie must talk to her husband's mother. They are still at war.

This is a great film and it got a great reception.

It is worth seeing twice and more. I already saw it before and had "forgotten" its depth and reach.

A 5 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

AGATHA SINGS

Today's François Ozon film is a romp

8 Femmes / 8 Women (2002)

Eight women trapped in a house with a dead body. It is winter. No way to get any help.

It is like Ten Little Indians, only not.

Someone had to put the knife in the man's back.

It is not too far into the story when the music starts.

Only Ozon would think of making a musical who-done-it.

The thing is totally over the top yet fun and funny and, at the end, a bit surprising. Almost a thriller.

There are considerable restraints. One set. One set of costumes. Well, not quite that.

We have seen most of these women before.

Danielle Darrieux, Catherine Deneuve, Isabelle Huppert, Virginie Ledoyen, Ludivine Sagnier, Fanny Ardant, Emmanuelle Beart and Firmine Richard.

This is the kind of thing that is fluffy fun and Ozon has added a few fluffs here and there as well as a twist.

It was good but not that good. The music is a bit weak and wobbly and the singing is more acted than really sung. A good idea but hard to carry out.

The set is blatantly artificial particularly the opening outdoors scene before going inside. All cardboard and falling cornflakes.

Irony.

But one is not supposed to pick at this. It is intentional.

I am glad that I saw it. Once is enough. A 3 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

POLYMORPHOUSLY PERVERSE

Today's François Ozon film was

Les amants criminels / Criminal Lovers (2000)

in which Ozon takes on fairy tales (Hansel and Gretel) and iconic films such as Badlands, Bonny and Clyde, and any films that had frightening chases through the woods to say nothing of Disney epics such as Bambi (whew) and turns them on their head.

Two teenagers, unconsummated lovers, kill another boy who has been "bothering" or maybe raping the girl.

They run to the woods with their victim's body and get lost.

They come upon a cottage which they break into and start to take some food when the "ogre" returns.

He doesn't like being disturbed but he does like the boy and, as he imprisons them in his basement, he has his ways.

There are a lot of flashbacks to explain how these nice kids got where they are.

It is all in fun really and there are a lot of laugh out loud turns in the plot and in the denouement. These moments are essential to releasing the mounting tension. Sexual and violent.

Ozon has many many tricks up his sleeve. And some of those tricks are tried out in every film. The ambivalent sexuality. The coming of age. The satisfaction of base desires. The manipulation of others through lies (including the audience).

He is quite daring with it all. Perhaps this is why I admire him so.

I would be willing to see this one again. It is scary fun. And the young men are quite attractive to say nothing of the ogre who cleans up pretty well.

A 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

MYSTERY WRAPPED IN AN ENIGMA

Today's François Ozon film was

Swimming Pool (2003)

in which an uptight spinsterish British mystery writer goes to France, he editor's villa, to rest, recuperate and cure her writer's block.

Before too long she is interrupted in her idyll by a sexy, uninhibited, young woman who is everything that the writer is not.

Sparks fly.

A plot develops that involves these two and other characters who are in the vicinity.

There is violence. There is some resolution. There is a deliciously different mystery.

Rampling used to be the young libertine. She was famous for audacious roles of sexuality and rebellion.

Here, Ozon has cleverly cast her against type and shows how inhibition can be a creative force. And then some.

The young woman is Ludivine Sagnier, an Ozon stock company player, this time a totally different role.

You should be warned that there are puzzles to solve in this one and Ozon does layout some clues but you have to be especially nimble to catch them as they go by.

I have read through the "user's comments" at the IMDb site for this film and the interpretations vary wildly.

I, personally, believe that there is only one solution but, hey, what do I know? Maybe I am not as nimble as I thought.

In some ways this is a coming out film or, more aptly, a film about opening up and reaching down to pull up the inner libertine.

Or maybe not.

I would probably want to see it again to see if my memory is served by the actual scenes and how they unfold.

That would make it a 4 out of Netflix5.

Labels: films

WORDS OF ONE SYLLABLE

It has been a while since I conducted a "readability test" on the blog.

So, first thing this morning, before the blog woke up, I did a run through here. Juicy Studios. There are other sites but this is the one I have always used.

If you want to know what these scores mean go to the site.

Based on 630 total sentences, more or less randomly selected with 6116 total words, the average words per sentence were 9.71.

Yes. This is intentional. I try to write short, punchy active sentences. Blog sentences.

There are 4465 words of one syllable, 1114 words with two syllables, 387 words with three syllables and 150 sentences with 4 or more syllables.

This means there are 8.78% words with over three syllables, and an average syllable per word count of 1.38.

Rather readable.

The Gunning Fog Index is the grade level that a reader would have for good comprehension. This blog is good for the 7.4 grade.

The Flesch Reading Ease result it 80.04. Authors are encouraged to aim for a score of approximately 60 to 70. A little high here.

On the other hand the Flesch-Kincaid Grade is only 4.51. Like the Gunning-Fog index, it is a rough measure of how many years of schooling it would take someone to understand the content.

Here are some examples of Fog indices for some works. TV guides, The Bible, Mark Twain are at 8. Most popular novels=10. The New York Times is 14. Academic papers usually 15-20. Government sites=20. It says that if there is a Fog over 30, someone is covering something up.

So, you don't have to be much of a reader to get through this. It is easier than the Times.

There is nothing to do with this. Just watch the fog roll in and out.

Labels: blog, blogging

LOOK OUT

Labels: gay politics

SOMETIMES A COMPLIMENT IS JUST A COMPLIMENT

I suppose I should weigh in on the totally stupid storm over Obama calling my Attorney General the best looking.

What a pile of shit. The PC Police.

This is where the left looks as stupid as the right.

I was amused to see this article today.

President Obama Routinely Calls Important, Accomplished Men ‘Good-Looking’

I guess this is one of those "in the eye of the beholder" things.

Since when is it demeaning for me, let alone for him, to say that someone is "good looking".

I say it all the time.

Is it demeaning to women? Well not for me. They are are good looking. I say so. I am not drooling over them sexually, certainly. It is a compliment. Get over it. Accept it. Say "thank you" and move on.

I say it about handsome men. Gay and straight. Is that sexist? Well, I admit that sometimes it is based on a kind of attraction. But usually it is just a compliment.

I suppose somehow if I do not say that you are good looking when you are not or compliment you emptily, then that is demeaning or patronizing.

But that is bullshit too.

It is like fat people not wanting to be seen as fat. They are fat. Period. When I got thin I liked it when guys said I looked thin and even when they said maybe "too thin".

Look. I have seen Kamala Harris, she is my Attorney General and there is no denying that she is a looker. Don't we get points for that?

Women and men dress and groom to be good looking. Isn't that a cue for a comment.

Come on guys. You are taking things way too seriously and, besides, it is guys who have called him on this. That numb nuts Jonathan Chait, I'm talking to you. And James Carville, the snake. He has a lighter tone but it is the same thing. An advocate of empty and superficial pandering.

I hate this kind of shit.

Labels: Administration Obama

A NEW VOCABULARY

Around here, we are still adjusting to the new term for "the gays" having a wedding.

No more "gay marriage". It is "marriage equality".

A world of difference and I concur, it is just hard to get out of the habit.

This morning in the car, it struck me that when I first got into gay politics it was all about "gay liberation". First it was about our liberating ourselves and then gaining enough ground as a "people" to be liberated from society's chains.

True.

Then we gained an identity and became staunch crusaders for gay rights.

There is a critical difference between seeking liberation, someone has to free us, and gay rights, we must free ourselves and they better goddam agree with us or we will show them a thing or two.

Then, equality. Here we totally reject the second class citizenship and victimization of gay lives and take a stand as equal members of society.

These are not trivial distinctions. They reflect internal states as stark as the difference being in and coming out. The difference between the shame of being gay, the hiding in tea rooms and other out of the way places to meet and holding hands in public. And kissing. And being treated as any other people.

Busted for holding hands while gay.

Now, Newt Gingrich and others keep referring to the "gay lobby". At first I bristle at this and then, pausing to look around with pride, I have to agree with him.

The bigots have a lobby. We ought to have one too.

Yesterday we were a "special interest group" just another second class irritant.

Today we are feared. Some of the evangelicals have taken our victim robes and put them on, whining that we want to discriminate against them.

Look.

When I was in college, I was scared to death to go and live gay. I had boyfriends in a stealth kind of way but it was all in secret and heavy denial.

I got married and muffled all my feelings and thoughts for awhile until they couldn't be stifled any more.

I met gay people who were out.

I worked in Harvard Square, for chrissake. The bastion of liberal theology and practice. Men started hugging, straight and otherwise.

At first I went to gay movies. Sit and look at the screen while groping or being groped. I never went to the mens room. Too classy for that.

Then, I tried the baths. Too dark. And, somehow, always funny to me. Laughter and covert sex do not work.

I got involved in gay politics such as they were at the time. I worked on a hot line. I got on the board of a health service. I went to consciousness raising meetings.

I would like to say that I went to be of service but really I wanted to meet men.

Which I did. Some real lookers too.

I dated and slept with a few. These guys were very out. No looking back. You can't have hidden sex, be furtive, with an out gay man. It is all open, out and that does wonders for the enthusiasm and energy. Closet sex is lousy sex. Out sex, well!

Then the ads. By this time I was using a real name and all but it was a private mailbox at the weekly paper. See the Phoenix article below.

I was blessed to meet another guy, Mort who called himself Mark (yes, many did this he was an art history prof at UNH--a tipoff right there--but he didn't want anyone to know he was seeing guys and he lived with woman). I used my one in a thousand first name for real with him. A breakthrough.

The thing about Mort and I is that we relaxed. We were free to be ourselves somehow. We explored undiscovered ground together. We rented motel rooms. We walked in the park.

Then I got my own studio apartment. Dates in the afternoon. The daylight.

Listen to this. I was thrust into coming out.

The movies didn't work because on my third or fourth visit there was a raid. Actually someone had called the fire department and they evacuated the place. I resolved to never get under the thumb of "the man".

The baths didn't work because I was too amused.

The bushes were not going to work for me because I wanted to at least know a name and see a face. Maybe have coffee. A romantic.

The bars worked.

A progression.

You could sit around and get aquainted, go home with a guy or not. You could look around. And when drinking worked for me, I could lose inhibitions.

Then Mort.

Daylight.

After that, soon enough, John.

John was out out out out. There was no going backward after that.

He was a "known" gay. Out at work, in your face out. He was like me, he had been down so long that once he "got the call" he got up, stood on his own two feet and never ever looked back.

So the rest of that is history.

We became a couple, faced the reverse discrimination of other gays who scoffed at couple hood, had a lot of trials and tribulations. When you come out later you still have to go through the adolescence.

And we did.

Now FF. A life second to none. Married. Together out and proud for 38 years.

And all that time, in the middle of the "struggle" somehow. Little did we know that the first attempts to get marriage equality would lead to what we have today. A victory. Partial so far, but inevitable.

So we got conscious, got liberated, got our rights and got hitched.

An American success story.

Labels: gay history

PERVERSE TWISTS

Today's Francois Ozon film was

Regarde la mer / See the Sea (1997)

and, tethered to it on the DVD and in theater showings, the short film, Une robe d'été / The Summer Dress

The two are explicitly related as they were filmed on the same beach but I also suspect other more subtle connections.

For example, the longer film concerns what turns out to be a kind of Hitchcockian tale of twisted sex and, in the end, a horrible event.

The short, on the other hand has a different view. Adventurous sex and a considerably joyful outcome.

I don't want to get into the stories except to say that, in the first, a mother and a baby are alone and encounter a hiker who asks to use their property to pitch a tent. The stranger gets stranger and so does the mother. Mom is not quite the shiny example of the caring parent. Enough. The dread that builds is considerable. Even the leaves on the trees are ominous.

Whereas, the second film is about a young gay man who goes off to the beach in a snit, leaving his boyfriend at home, runs into a young woman who cruises him and shows him a good time.

Good clean fun.

He returns to his boyfriend with a new perspective.

There is a lot of laughing in this short gem.

They should be seen together if only to use the short film as a kind of mood cleaner after the serious thriller.

But I bet that is the way Ozon wanted it.

Together a 4 out of Netflix5. I would be happy to see the short again and the long one? Well, it would be nice to see how he orchestrates the tension so well. But I think it is not obvious. Just very skillful.

A 4 out of Netflix5

Labels: films

CUPPA JOE

I have not had any coffee for a number of years now.

I do drink diet cola and recently noticed the intake had increased.

That might explain my recent strong yen for a cup of coffee.

I am, perhaps, in a classic addiction spiral.

But it is coffee. Caffeine.

And I am going to give in to it.

Another thing. I have gotten all noddy in the later morning lately. Sleepy.

The caffeine should help that too.

Of all the drugs, I regard caffeine as the safest. It is also easily kicked if one has the will to do so.

So, I am going to hook myself up again.

It is a nice little hobby too. Grinding ones beans and all.

I sent off for a new burr grinder today. A Cuisinart DBM-8 Supreme Grind Automatic Burr Mill. Gotta get the burr.

In the meantime I will buy ground.

I am starting with Peet's brand. I think that it is all the same really but the bag looked nice and it is not Starbucks.

I also am not going to use the plastic/"gold" basket but move back to paper so I can get the ground finer and have more taste. The plastic basket smells after the first use.

We have a Braun maker. I had to go on line to get the operating instructions for the clock. It has been off that long. I am sure the instructions are in the "equipment" file but I don't have the heart to go page through all the brochures to find them.

So, here we go. Back to the future. Another old vice taken up again.

Labels: drugs

TWO THUMBS DOWN

We have lost Roger Ebert

Roger Ebert Film Critic Dies

Ebert had been through a terrible siege of mouth cancers, one after the other. Only yesterday or the day before, he said the cancer was back.

Well, it did him in.

Roger Ebert should get some kind of hero status for his life work, movies. And his staying power in the progress of the cancer. He lost all functions of the throat and mouth, ate with a straw and a catheter and wrote in considerable pain.

A little more heroic than I think that I would be but let's put that aside.

There are a lot of film critics. Perhaps you have noticed.

Historically, I followed Pauline Kael and a few of the New Yorkers' reviewers, then the NYTimes. Very few others are worth a pinch of shit.

The reason is that they merely recount plot, which I am not interested in as it spoils, and, often, are easily seduced by the constant lobbying that goes on in the business. The firewall between the business side and the editorial sides of the press are thinnest in the entertainment sections.

The don't have the stars and directors out on junkets for nothing.

Ebert did recount plot but in a way you could jump over. It had a "section" in the reviews. And he was totally immune to the hype.

Something else. Very few critics wander beyond Hollywood. Even the New Yorker seems immune to subtitled films.

Not the NYTimes and not Ebert. Both review everything.

Ebert also was ready to go back and review many films a second time, say, on a tenth anniversary or some other occasion. His second reviews are often mea culpas about missing the goodness the first time around.

In this blog you will notice that only the NYTimes and Ebert appear at the links of the movies I see. The exceptions are those times where there is no review for a particular film or, perhaps, I disagree with their assessment so much at the time, I leave them out.

I don't go back a long way with Ebert. I was not much interested in his work with Siskel. Too pop goes the weasel for me.

But his works were thoughtful and helpful and often in synch with my own reaction.

One defect, I am not sure that Ebert ever saw a gay oriented film that he got right or particularly liked. So, I never or rarely used his review on that genré.

Finally. He wrote clearly and in a way that helped the reader appreciate the process by which a film was made and also, more importantly, how a film was experienced. The rules of the game for writing and directing. Why some stuff worked and other stuff did not.

I have learned a lot by reading Roger.

Goodbye old friend. Off to the show in the sky.

Labels: films, obituary

CARGO SHORTS

Today's film was an anthology of Francois Ozon's short works.

Curtain Raiser and Other Shorts (1993 through 2006)

A mixed bag of "thought pieces". Snapshots of ideas that would not make a feature length film.

A few of these are short short. Two are half hour in length.

The best of these is a piece wherein a gay man, convinced his Dad thought him ugly, isolates from the family and gets all his needs met from a lover. Both men are beautiful but the emotional drain on both by the estrangement is a problem. When the Dad is dying, he goes, reluctantly to visit him. What he finds out surprises and liberates him as well as his relationship with his partner.

Another features Louis Carrel and Mathieu Almaric in a short piece on the boundaries of a relationship. A bit boringly didactic but well acted nonetheless.

Others are amusing. One or two are not very likable.

I am glad that I saw it. File all under complete, done, I do not need or want to see them again.

A 3 out of Netflix5.

On to the rest of the features.

Labels: films

HAIR CONDITIONING

Busy day today.

No movie.

The AC guy came for his semi annual cleaning and maintenance.

We found that the inside unit is 1999, 14 years old. But the condenser is fine at 7 years old, 2006.

I never looked or asked before.

It is a painless operation. He comes in with his gauges and shit and tests and runs around and takes an hour. Changes the filters. In this house only one filter.

In the former place we had an AC standard and a heat pump for the other half of the house. It was a formidable maintenance run. Not so here.

Everything is easy in a condo.

The afternoon was devoted to getting ready for, having and coming down from a haircut.

More maintenance of a different kind.

In the old days I buzzed myself short. Then a friend, who is the premier hair salon in town, wheedled me into his chair and the decision to get long hair.

This time is/was the longest I have had the hair since I had a ponytail.

He trimmed it out some so that it is more manageable in back.

I had a good time but it is a trial for me to let someone else do the work and sit back.

I pretty much trust him now and even let him do my eyebrows.

A letting-go exercise from the get go.

Those two things shoot the day. Back to normal tomorrow.

I slick back my hair with no part. Pretty simple.

But this video makes it a big project. Like this guy really wants it with no part but the chick keeps messing with it.

I have no reason to show this other than that I do about the same, no chick, and the guy is triple hot. Look at that smile.

HE wants to get out of that chair and go let his boyfriend smooth it back for him. But he had promised her he would be the model for her video and here he is. Looking like this is something he needs help to do.

Labels: hair, repairs

MAN! THIS IS SPOOKY

You must go here and see how the project was done!

Labels: fun

HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE

Today's film was the first I will be seeing by the writer and director Francois Ozon.

Ozon is a mischief maker and this film is a good example of his penchant for showing people with their emotional pants down. In almost all his films, some of those people are always/usually/presumably gay.

That does not make this a gay film even though it is based on an early (19 years old) by Rainer Werner Fassbinder who was.

The young man in this film is 19. His orientation is unformed, sort of.

OK.

Let the analysis begin.

Oh. The film? It is

Gouttes d'eau sur pierres brûlantes / Water Drops on Burning Rocks (1999)

Fassbinder wrote this as a play and Ozon keeps it as a play. One set.

It begins with the 19 year old coming home with a 50 something year old man. There follows a coy dance which ends in bed.

That is Act One. Double meaning here as it turns out. There are two or three other "acts".

The boy's girlfriend shows up for the second act and she ends up, like the boy, naked at the end of the section.

By the third act an ex of the older man shows up and joins the show.

The big thing here is the dialog. Funny, anxious, scary. It stirred a storm of emotions.

All the actors are up to this. It is beautifully done. The set is meticulously decorated and acts, at times, as a backup chorus to the acting and the story.

This is the kind of play that should never be opened up. If it lost its theatricality it would go up in steam just like the drops of water on the hot rocks.

I liked it. It is a sure 3 and perhaps a 4 out of Netflix5.

Well, it is a 4. I would not mind seeing it again at all and perhaps I will.

It whets the appetite for more Ozon.

Oh. It is not a musical. But it is Fassbinder/Ozon. They break the fourth wall.

Labels: films

BEAUTIFUL KIDS

Today's film was the dance documentary

Tanzträume / Dancing Dreams (2010)

in which forty kids get to work for a year on one of Pina Bausch' dance theater works.

We have seen parts of this dance before. Kontakthof / Contact Zone. It was in the DVD Pina which shows her full adult company in a variety of pieces.

This one is about contact between men and women. For kids, an especially potent subject.

They are shy, they are diffident. They are awkward and ill at ease. And then they break through. Finally we get to see enough of the final product to marvel at the great affect this will have on their lives whether they become dancers or not.

It is also a variety of kids. Black, white, blond, dark. Ethnic varieties. Serb, Gypsy, African. And of course hard core German blonds!

Both genders grow into their adult possibilities. Pina says that the dance doesn't require adult moves and emotions. She means it to work for adolescents and it does. Transformation.

This is a 5 out of Netflix5. We own both Pina films and are very happy about it.

Labels: dance, films

NOT A GIFT

We don't give each other gifts.

Except when we do.

For our 38th anniversary, I got this soapstone sculpture from John.

It is called "lover's knot" or "love knot" depending on which import house you look in to.

Its infinite surface gets the idea across pretty well.

And it is very handsome.

Red is the color of passion and strong feeling.

It is about 8 inches tall and has a nice feel.

So it fits pretty well. Infinite, passionate, the size, the feel. It is an "us" thing.

I didn't know much about soapstone which they cut by hand and polish, then paint. Artisans.

I suppose I have to also accept that it was done by poorly paid workers in a third world country but for now, it is my beautiful symbol of the love of my life.

Labels: art, history, life

BOOK REPORT

First, the books I have not read.

I took a turn with Missing Out: In praise of the unlived life., in which Adam Phillips says that many of us live two parallel lives, one that we have and the one we feel as though we should have or that we missed or something.

It sounded good in the review and it is an interesting idea drawn out over too many pages. I got the point in the Prologue.

I also got that this was a closet atheist book which is OK but then just come out and say it. The implication is that if you have God in your life, you are especially prone to this kind of misguided, frustrated existence where you pine for what you do not have.

I say "bullshit" to that. I have a Higher Power and that presence helps me be where I am and not spend much time on where I am not. It is the essence of my belief. True humility being acceptance of who and what I am. That was just in a reading in the Meeting I went to this morning.

The book is OK. I agree with the premise. And I don't argue about God with atheists. It is futile. And amounts to wanting what I don't have!

I left Adam to his thoughts after the first or second chapter and a quick scan of the rest. Off to the library with this one.

I also bailed on the new book by Kurt Anderson, True Believers.

I had enjoyed his earlier ventures, Heyday in which he followed five people across the US in the mid 19th century from NYC to SFO and all the stops in between. Also Turn of the Century which does a similar job with some dot.com people at, well, the turnover from the 20th to the 21st century.

Both were fun because they told a story of a bunch of people with the overlay of details from the culture at the time. A kind of time capsule.

This book is similar in that it covers the experience of one person and her friends through the 60s. The same tour of the zeitgeist but with more of a plot. Seems the lady was part of a still undiscovered bombing plot. Twist is that she is a well known lawyer who has even been considered for the Supreme Court. This book is the one she is writing about that time. A big break in the big secret. Already I am yawning.

The idea of touring the cultural benchmarks of a time through a sweeping novel is a good one and Anderson has done this with a vengeance.

Fun but eventually boring if you lay too much heavy plot on it.

Too much for me, anyway.

I am also reading as much of a writer named Ron Hansen as I can handle. I liked his two novels of the outlaw west, the second being the one from which they made the Jesse James film. Similar in these are the local color things. The heavily researched historic detail. It was fun but I was sure glad when they arrested all the Younger Gang and then, in the larger, better one, Jesse James. Then I started his collection of short stories. The first being a rundown of Oscar Wilde's few days in Omaha Nebraska.

Yaaaaaawwwn.

Off to the library for all these as well.

Now, the one which is the hottest, bestest, scariest.

Lawrence Wright's Going Clear: Hollywood and the Prison of Belief.

The long awaited rundown of Scientology.

Wright is a serious writer with a Pulitzer in his pocket. He is on the staff of The New Yorker, in fact, this started as a long piece about Paul Haggis who had defected from the "religion" after 34 years membership.

Wright has taken a certain tack here which is very effective. He takes Scientology absolutely seriously. Chapter and verse.

By this I do not mean he swallows it. He reports it. He tells what he has found out about it.

The first section is mostly about J. Ron Hubbard, the kind of cracked but wildly productive author of the textbook and the originator of the structured "church". I put these terms in quotes because they have been the source of much controversy over the years but, at present, as the Scientologists have IRS approval as a religion that is what they are. A church.

Hubbard's life is breathtaking in its drama and sheer craziness. That is not to say that he was not a genius. It appears that he was. But he was also paranoid, egomaniacal and, perhaps, a pathological liar.

Wright does not write to refute or to castigate. This is not an expose. He puts down, to the best of his ability, what happened.

The second part of the book is about the church and how it survives without its founder. There is a lot about David Miscavige the head of the church. A huge lot about the para military Sea Org which runs the widespread network of churches, print shops, movie production and god knows what.

The church has an enormous pile of money. The royalties from Hubbard's book, wise real estate investments and eye popping fees from members to say nothing of volunteer labor for much of its work.

This gets us to Hollywood where the main recruiting mechanism resides these days. Haggis is the entry point here. Tom Cruise, John Travolta and a host of less luminous actors and movie biz people.

Here is my major take away.

Hubbard and his successors and the organization have pretty much built a juggernaut cult of true believers who cannot get out except with the loss of almost all that they have including family.

The organization runs on indentured labor. People have signed away their rights. They do not leave.

There is a huge security net that stalks enemies of the church.

The complexity and immensity of this is overwhelming.

The ending of the book is a drumbeat of malfeasance. On and on. I got queasy and had to get up and walk around. It made me ill to read it. Suppression, repression.

The odd thing is that Scientology is also a technology of wellness. Hubbards formulas and techniques while not unique or new are effective. Even of those who have left the church still practice its fundamentals.

It is seldom that a non-fiction book is as exciting as this one is. Amazing.

Everything that I sort of thought about it is confirmed and then some and then some and then some.

Wright is careful in his sum up to give the devil its due.

I think that he has not had the harrassment that others have in writing about the church is a credit to the fact-check mode of journalism so deeply inshrined at The New Yorker.

It is dangerous to out the Scientologists. They will come after you. They will sue, harass, intimidate, even imprison those who have "blown", that is, left the church and become active in resisting it.

I liked this a lot.

Labels: books, religion