esrosedotblog

I have been on an inadvertent vacation.

Just no desire to write.

Perhaps the post election depression finally set in.

The daily trump march has had me down but not out.

On the other hand, I have not been stopped completely. I am doing all my reading of the same blogs I always have. Just nothing to "write home" about.

It is the interim. All talk before Obama leaves and they come onto the stage.

We are in a quiet time at home. John has put up the decor. It looks great. We await his birthday, two days before Santa. Santa takes a back seat.

We have finally begun a Palm Springs winter. It is drizzling today. Has been since last night. It is needed. Very much. Some optimism about the drought beginning to lift.

It has that bright shiny smell outside.

Marcus perked up when we went out. Stopped to smell the air as he does when there is something to examine through all those receptors.

But things are looking up. I went for a manicure and pedicure yesterday. Being pampered is always a good thing.

And back to Ralph's today with the bi-weekly grocery list.

Oh yes. One other thing. The computer is acting up. Going dark inadvertently. Putting itself to sleep. I am in the denial phase about that. There is always the iPad.

A list of trivial "sorrows" today. Gotta break out of it. No whining. Well, a little, Then on with it.

Being back at the blog will help. The trip to the store will work me out. The computer might have to go in to Apple for work. Or should I get a new one? This one is five years old now.

What to do? What to do?

The answers always come though. All I have to do is get out of the way and let them roll in.

Labels: blogging, palms springs, weather

The blog is 13 years old this week.

See all the dates in the archive there to the right?

That is me writing my fingers to the bone.

I have had a good time for the most part. Enjoyed it.

A few times, I announced that I was giving it up.

Some kind readers urged me not to.

If that was not enough, after a little while, I got the itch again and resumed my work.

A lot of people keep journals. Mostly private. That is not me. I am not much for closeted confessionals.

On the other hand, the public nature of the blog does cause me to harness myself in.

Language for one thing. There are only so many "fucks" I do not want to give.

My aim is to try to write clearly and grammatically. I ended my work life as a writer and so once grooved, the practice is worth maintaining. Of course then I had editors and copy readers. Not now.

Just the jerky spell check which "corrects" incorrectly more often than not.

A perennial pain.

The public nature also makes me think. There are not many posts where I just pull it out of my ass. Sometimes it takes half a day of "thinking" or marinating. Occasionally, I go back later and either insert or delete something that came to me after I felt I was done.

Another outcome of the blog is that I finally learned touch typing. I wrote about this recently. Now that was a change. Valuable time lost hunting and pecking is gained back.

Thank you Mavis Beacon. You are the best.

Writing the blog also gives me purpose in my geezer years. I need that stimulus, obligation, activity. The volunteer work on the condo association helps too but that is sporadic and not me alone. There, I fulfill my need to engage in teamwork. Another nice exercise. Practicing what I preached for many years.

So happy birthday to my blog and many happy returns.

Someone asked me if I go back and read the blog at all.

No. Not really. It is over for me. I am like an actor who does not go see his or her movies. I lived it once, I wrote about it once and that, by gosh and by golly, is enough.

Labels: blog, blogging

I am watching old movies that I love.

I am taking my time to savor the embarrassment of the GOP at their unnnominated nominee and I just generally taking a break.

When the blog feels like a burden it is time to lay back for awhile.

So, here I go. I am taking at least a week long breather.

If anything comes up that cannot wait, maybe sooner. But probably not.

Labels: blogging

There has been a lull in postings because real life has intervened.

Family visits are going on and some other stuff has needed attention.

In the meantime, my intentions are good and I will return to the "airwaves" in due course.

Labels: blogging

I went to the ophthalmologist today.

The annual visit.

I am still bleary eyed and do not trust my tryttippping.

See?

No.

That is the point of it.

Eye drops.

They said four hours. Wrong.

Another rainy day. Another reason to crap out today on the blog and rest my eyes.

Labels: blogging, eyes

This month marks my 13th year writing this blog.

You can see the history to the right. Click on "Archives" to see them. I cannot. It is history.

At one time I figured I would give myself a history of things but that has changed.

I do it now for a few people who read the blog, it is easier than sending emails all the time, and for me. I still do not go back and read much of it. But it provides a sense of self in a world where this is a bit scarce.

Self. I quit work work in 1979. Went off the road and quit the business.

So work and the business no longer define me.

I used to kind of hang out in my old place's web site but the company got a new management and I lost interest. I do not look in any more.

And little by little my business persona has all but disappeared.

I am still in touch with an old business partner on a very occasional basis. And one special wonderful client friend and I are still together. A blessing.

There is my family of course and, it turns out, the blog has not replaced letters "home". I still send email updates. Especially for the kind of things I would not put in the blog.

There are some interesting stats though.

I have made 11536 postings.

Holy shit.

There have been 110,968 viewings. So ten times the number of posts. Ten readers each post. Including me. I do not think that I read each post ten times. So, someone do the math. Or not.

Not a big universe.

But I am writing for me

So it has been a long time project for me. I am usually done with stuff well before this.

I did give the blog up for about 4 months once then re-instituted it. I wrote to everyone I knew to let them know it was back. A burp.

So. I will continue. A day at a time.

Labels: blog, blogging

Not a lot is happening here.

More to the point, no films (I am midway through a long one) and the house got cleaned today. Marcus and I had to stay ahead of the mops.

So. More tomorrow.

It is the holiday season. Cut some slack.

Labels: blogging

Every once in a while there is a gap in my blogging.

Sometimes because I am away.

Others because I just plain forgot or didn't have anything to say.

I figure that I should utter a word or two to let you know I am alive. Hell, to let me know I am alive.

It is October and time to be outside. And to think outside things.

So, a pause.

Tonight is another debate. Nothing to be said about that. Yet.

Have a good day.

Labels: blogging

Gym of course, followed by Marcus' stitch removal.

Then chiropractor. Good adjustment.

First half of a Big Bang disc, Season 5.

Long nice dog walk.

Now supper.

No blogging for me today. Besides it was so "regular" around here, it would be a bore to read about.

But I had a good time.

Labels: blogging

I have been back from my Boston/London/Toronto trip for almost two weeks. I thought I had no jet lag or anything but, as it turns out, I am just beginning to feel "right" after all the time changes. Nine time zones.

John says there is a "thing" that says we need one day for each time zone we go through. So I guess I am right on time.

I am going away again in two weeks for my regular annual getaway in San Diego. Shelter Island. On the water. Bay Club Hotel and Marina. I trained trainers there for many years and never got it out of my system. I am ready to be back.

In the meantime, I will be doing normal stuff.

Last night, we did our newish Thursday night eat-out thing. We went to a restaurant we have never gone before. John wanted to but I demurred. I had the idea that it was pretentious. Or something.

Spencer's. Not bad actually, and being summer, not crowded at all. It might, indeed, be a little pretentious but I think that I have confused it with the restaurant up the street which is really over the line.

The weekend is very nicely empty. No activities.

The condo Board takes the summer off. Well, we met once to pass the budget for next year because we got caught in the law requiring notice before the fiscal year for rate raises. We are going up 65.00 a month which is, quite frankly, a lot but we have depleted our reserves and previous boards, not having the balls to do it, let the rates stay the same. To our detriment.

So we are biting the bullet.

I do run for office so there is a vulnerability I suppose but I am past giving a shit about stuff like that. If they want to elect someone who lies about the real cost of doing business here, as they did before, good on them. There. That showed "them" huh?

House got its bi-weekly cleaning yesterday. Sergio and the gang. They do pretty well but I am still guilty of doing some prep before they get here and then after they leave doing some critical examination.

Ants. I mentioned ants before.

We successfully turned back the tide and then, over the last few days, they are back. The little fuckers. So resilient. So determined. Argentinians. But I have devastated them again with the Raid and soon, nature will have its way. Cold air will drift in and they will go back into hiding again.

The heat is upon us. For sure. The top has stayed up on the Volvo convertible for several days running. I put it down to go to the store today mostly so I could throw the bags into the back more easily. But for a few days we are going to be under the gun then, again, a cooler period with temps in the 90s. Amazing summer. And very little humidity so far. The "normal temps" are shown in the graph. But there is no normal here. Averages and means do not tell the story.

This is a catchall post. All the boring news and then some. But some people like it and this is supposed to be a substitute for me writing regular emails to friends and family so I needed to get to it and post the mundane details.

Labels: blogging, life, weather

I went a little crazy this morning over becoming a videographer.

I had been to a web site where the guys do about one video a week of what is going on for them. It is mundane stuff but the videos have this life like presence that is really astounding.

So I spent awhile fantasizing about getting me a GoPro video camera.

I had myself taking videos of the new gardeners working out back (doing a good job incidentally), covering my trip to Boston, London and Toronto in July. Our trip to Big Bear in June.

Maybe videos of the new dog we are talking about getting in the fall.

How about ourselves aging out?

It went on and on.

Then I thought about my history.

I haven't taken a photo (now called an "image") of anything for so long I am afraid to look at my camera to see what is on it. I was going to type in the brand of camera and I cannot recall it. I can't look to see because I am not sure where the camera is.

I remembered growing up with 8mm movies my Dad made. A total fucking embarrassment. He had to show them to everyone and anyone if they came to the house. When he died I didn't even take the movies he made. I just couldn't. Maybe one of my kids have them.

That went through my mind as I considered who I would show them to.

How about the blog? Would you like to see videos of my exciting daily life?

I would not.

Take a look at recent entries. A video about my own nipples? A video of the book that I just finished reading? How about a video of my own thermometer instead of the stock one I used on the heat item?

You get the picture. So to speak.

Perhaps a video would bring new life to the blog. Open the door up for more items.

I could video myself cooking. Going to an AA meeting. Maybe a condo board meeting.

How about my workout at the gym? My friends there. I am sure they would like to say hello.

Then there is the trip to London. I will not see anything other than my friend Lynda's street and house. We might go see the big ferris wheel but probably not.

It would be my Dad all over again.

Few enough people read this as it is. I couldn't afford to lose readers over the boredom of what I could produce videographically.

It is a sweet little machine though.

I used to buy the latest shit whenever it came out.

Those days are over. I can't gin up the adrenaline that drives us to take actions beyond our powers to reason and evaluation. Beyond our means.

The compulsion of owning more gear.

It is gone. Thank the gods.

Labels: blogging, life

I realize that the photo below is the most homo photo I have "ever" put on the blog.

Funny, I didnt even think about it until I saw it this morning.

I guess there are a lot of stages of coming out. This would be one. Well, it is what it looks like. No beating around that bush.

No apologies either. (smile)

Labels: blogging, gay film

OK. I give.

Even I miss the old blog.

On the walk with Booker tonight I thought "why not"?

Well, because it is work and I got bored but maybe I won't be bored if I restart it.

A lot has happened since November when I quit this.

For one thing I stood for the Board of Directors for my Home Owners Association.

This has been a lot of fun and it actually has revitalized my life. Not that I was dormant. But it is a task of service. It is fun. It is being "in charge".

I am the Treasurer.

That means that I do a little work but not much. I read the monthly financials that are prepared for us by the professional managers who actually do the day to day running of the 150 condo complex (well, 147 but I like the rounder number).

The meetings are once a month and the in between is not very rigorous. So far, no one has brought me "issues". I am pretty repellant about stuff like that. My theory is that it has to be invited for it to occur. A lot of people invite the engagement and then complain because of the intrusion. Not me.

Actually, I remain dedicated to the idea that the Board is a board and acts as such. This has the advantage of saving me a lot of bullshit and spreads the load.

It is also amazing how many people somehow get less whiney about stuff when they have to come to a public hearing.

There are laws and regulations that govern our behavior. The state is quite explicit. We have bylaws and regulations codified in the complex. There is precedent.

We have the advantage (I see it this way) of having three out of five members appointed this year, none of whom have served in the past. On this Board anyway. A couple were on previous association boards and stuff. Not me. I am a virgin.

The "old members" include the Chairman who is old only by virtue of his having been appointed mid term when a member moved away. The other old old member holds this as a kind of warrant to hold forth but we are immune.

One reason most of us went on the Board is that we had enough of the old guard thing going on.

So. Something new. Something enjoyable, even fun.

My sacred schedule still holds pretty well. Most days I do some work in my recovery Program, early on. Go to an actual Meeting or on some days meet with people I sponsor for an hour or so. Work the Steps.

I watch a movie a day and still write mini-reviews because one of the long time readers of the blog asked me to. I have been sending them out in email.

I take a nap every morning. I work the internet in the afternoon. I make supper and walk the dog after. John does the morning walks.

I like a bit of routine.

That is it.

A post.

I may do another one.

I have to get my old blogging chops back but I am up to it. Or not. We will see.

Labels: blog, blogging

In a few days, I will have been doing this blog for ten (10) round years. It has been a lot of fun. When I started, blogs were a bigger thing than they are now. So I jumped into the pool. Once I got started, I found that I liked it both as a way to stay in touch with friends and family but also as a kind of journal for myself. I had a fairly large readership at that time and put the blog address on all my emails so I picked up a lot of readers that way. I also found that a lot of people were reading the posts who had googled themselves there or when the blog had showed up on their radars somehow.

Over time, as it turns out, blogs in general have given way to other media. The dread FaceBook that I will not join, Tweets which sort of interest me but not enough to stay in touch with them and whatever else comes down the pike that include photos, video and so on. Technology has passed the blogger on the road to communication and we are eating the dust.

Hardly anyone reads the blog today. Most, not all, family and just a few friends. I find that I have to write the current events of my life in emails and phone calls which are aimed to the specific people who I stay in touch with and they with me. Outside the blog. Better in a way because these are tailored and, while not as frequent, more meaningful connections than the blog has been. Although I have felt the connection with an audience as I have written, pictured some people reading.

This has never been a comment laden blog. But it has been months since there was even one of any kind. Even a return rant. The guy who kept answering the same post I wrote over five years ago about the con-letters from Africa hasn't been irate now for over a year.

Recently I reduced the size and scope in an experimental way. Not satisfying. One says he misses the blog. Others say no comment. Me? It is not the same.

I note that in the last month or so, we rounded a corner of another kind. Not just the tenth (10th) year of the blog but also the 10,000th post. That is a lot of writing. I get tired just looking at the number but also a little proud I kept with it so long.

There are still the archives. I will not be dumping those although I suspect that Blogger will catch up somehow and one day tell me that a new layout or agreement means the end of those. But in the meantime, it is all still in the cloud or wherever they keep this stuff. I, personally, don't plan to dig in and look at them but you never know.

If you have hung in this long, thanks. It has been fun. I already miss you. The "you" I visualized while writing. A bit. But not too much. Send me an email. I will write back. To you, not to the masses. That is it. I am out of here.

Cheers!

Labels: blog, blogging

So maybe I can do the blog with less of a flourish and just headline the days.

It is worth a try. It seems as though am not ready to give it up yet.

Today's film was The Boys in the Band which we have seen quite a few times and which does not lose its power to move emotions and a sense of value about how far we have come since its time. 1970 seems like a century ago. On the other hand, there are certain gay life eternals and they ring true, mostly the funny parts. There are quite a few of those.

My reaction is that a lot of the self hatred people saw in it when it came around was not so much in the film as in the film watcher.

I got it out because I just saw the documentary about making it. Mart Crowley, the writer, was featured. He remarked that it was amazing to him that we were still talking about this film 40 years later. Yes.

The photo is from a cast reunion. All but a few of the guys are gone now, mostly from AIDS.

We are slowly getting back to normal after quite a wonderful visit with two of "our boys" who visited and vacated for themselves and were able to do some chores for us but mostly be available for family time right there in living color.

It is important to staying in touch that we, for awhile, be touching.

They installed a new faucet in my bathroom and if I had known what an undertaking it was I might have not asked them to do the work.

But it did not seem to be a hardship for them who, surprisingly, acted like a team even though one had more experience and took the lead.

John and I are only children and it is amazing to us to see brothers together. John came to say that they were talking to one another all the time. Which is true but also not really true. They are in cahoots with each other in a way that I envy. Very nice to watch and to be a part of.

They have a collective memory of their family life which is revealing in the conversation. Only exceeded by the wealth of collective memory when there are more than two kids around.

This annual visit involves others other years but this year the rest of the gang are either out of the continent or doing other work or otherwise occupied and could not be here. We missed them and still had a great time.

I am having a normal week ending on Saturday with an interview with an MIT kid. Which, for this time of year, is normal.

Labels: blogging, family, films, MIT

Blogger is getting tough.

Suddenly, without one word of warning, Blogger, my host, demands that I use the "in house" titling protocols.

Actually there is nothing wrong with this other than the fact that I have never done it and gotten away with it all this time.

So, this looks different.

I could let this stand and use the same Caps heading I have been but it looks too heavy.

So I went to lower case.

The latest trend.

Did you know that all Caps signage on highways, streets, all over are on the way out? Visibility. Readability. Safer.

So, in line with the trend, here it goes on esrosedotblog.

While I was at it, going to the lower case, I thought again, maybe it was too light.

So I tried the first sentence headline approach ala newspapers everywhere. The subhead. Blah blah.

See? The NYT uses it all in one edition. I can do what I want.

Deal with it bitches.

Labels: blog, blogging

ON WRITING

Since I write a lot I am, by implication, very interested in writing itself.

Or should be.

I really liked this article on the dictionary, the meaning of words and the utility of being able to write beyond the dictionary meanings.

The Role of a Dictionary Today

Mundanity is the curse of an interesting blog or, for that matter, a food label or a line of copy in an ad. A come hither look is needed for the reader's attention.

What is needed is a stick. Something to stiffen the line, the copy.

To bring interest to the page.

I try for that but it is difficult. Trying makes it a labor. Better not to try and let it fly.

First, my writing history is quasi-academic. I wrote training manuals for years. No allowance for poetry. Literally thousands of people would read these things and take explicit action in their lives based on what they read. It had to be taken seriously.

It also had to be taken readably. We lived by the Fogg, the readablity measures.

Every day was a day of conflict with a copy editor and the copy editor's questions.

I sometimes write from a crouch position.

Check that sentence. It just came out. Is "crouch" the write / right word?

I will not look it up. I am just happy to have had it come through my own editor, through my fingers and on to the page.

My mind's editor wants to modify it now. To put in the word "defensive" so the reader will not have to work to get the picture. But then it would be wrong because that kind of crouch is not the only kind of crouch I have in mind.

I want a picture to form. The more explicit I become the less evocative.

I like to, on occasion, invent a word. Some normal usage twisted.

No example leaps to mind. It is usually a "found" word. Another through the brain into the fingers out to the keyboard event. A surprise.

Fancy words. Out. That is not what we are talking about here. If I have to look it up it is probably too fancy although I do have a rather wide vocabulary. But it is possible to make a common every day word dance a bit. Used slightly out of rhythm. A bounce. A chance mis-spelling.

There is the inhibition of performance. This is not improv. I can take what comes out of my fingers and just let it go. Like throwing mud up on the wall and watching it slide off. But that is something else entirely and is probably a matter of poetry.

I am currently reading a kind of text book by Phillip Lopate on essay writing. He doesn't spend much time, so far, on word choice. Maybe before I am done.

I mention it to illustrate that somewhere, somehow, there is always a reading, a thought, a consideration of style in my life. A book, an article like this one. Words. How to use them more effectively.

The worst hurdle of all is being self conscious about my writing. And this blog post is not helping.

Time to quit. Point made. Move on.

Oh. Dictionaries. I rarely use them to find a word for my writing. I use them a lot to understand others' writing. I keep finding new things. The actual meaning of "penultimate" for example. A recent discovery that I have been using the word incorrectly all my writing or reading life. Not that it comes up that often. But it is a rare bird and fun to use. If I can, actually, understand it correctly.

Labels: blogging, words

WORDS OF ONE SYLLABLE

It has been a while since I conducted a "readability test" on the blog.

So, first thing this morning, before the blog woke up, I did a run through here. Juicy Studios. There are other sites but this is the one I have always used.

If you want to know what these scores mean go to the site.

Based on 630 total sentences, more or less randomly selected with 6116 total words, the average words per sentence were 9.71.

Yes. This is intentional. I try to write short, punchy active sentences. Blog sentences.

There are 4465 words of one syllable, 1114 words with two syllables, 387 words with three syllables and 150 sentences with 4 or more syllables.

This means there are 8.78% words with over three syllables, and an average syllable per word count of 1.38.

Rather readable.

The Gunning Fog Index is the grade level that a reader would have for good comprehension. This blog is good for the 7.4 grade.

The Flesch Reading Ease result it 80.04. Authors are encouraged to aim for a score of approximately 60 to 70. A little high here.

On the other hand the Flesch-Kincaid Grade is only 4.51. Like the Gunning-Fog index, it is a rough measure of how many years of schooling it would take someone to understand the content.

Here are some examples of Fog indices for some works. TV guides, The Bible, Mark Twain are at 8. Most popular novels=10. The New York Times is 14. Academic papers usually 15-20. Government sites=20. It says that if there is a Fog over 30, someone is covering something up.

So, you don't have to be much of a reader to get through this. It is easier than the Times.

There is nothing to do with this. Just watch the fog roll in and out.

Labels: blog, blogging

POSTING

No postings for a few days. But it is a holiday week and not a lot is happening. We had a good christmas and got to play with Skype as well as FaceToFace.

There were some nice treats.

Not including missing the gym two days because they closed it all up and reopened late enough that my day had already been in high gear the second day. 6AM.

I have been writing some long emails. One to a student who was admitted to MIT answering his questions. It is quite fun actually. He is a good interviewer.

He goes way off the beaten path but does good followup.

For me, it is an opportunity to reminisce. We are nothing without our stories and mine have worn out long ago with family and friends.

It is already the end of the week and we face another holiday week with a hole in the middle. Same deal with gym. I will be able to shop for groceries on Tuesday although they won't open until 7AM. I usually go at 6.

But I am projecting into the future.

In the meantime, I can relax and appreciate the non-holiday atmosphere and have mail which is always appreciated. The slow kind. Stamped.

Labels: blogging, holidays, life

RATINGS!

Blogger has changed its format and today I stumbled into the realization that this blog has stats!

I have always thought that, perhaps, there are only a few people reading this. Family, friends.

Not so.

There are hundreds of hits each day. There are people all over the world who are hitting the site. They call them "hits".

Russia for fucks sake. What is with that? Great.

I don't get a lot of comments so I never know.

Now, I have stats.

Forgive me if I go look at them every five minutes.

I used to have a photo-journal. Front Page software. The host site there had stats too. They were pretty disappointing.

Now, if I am misreading this and there are really only three people reading this, please don't comment and tell me.

Well, how would you know?

Let's have a comment in Russian.

I don't want to become self conscious. I will quit now.

Stats.

Sometimes you have shit you're not even aware of.

Life.

Labels: blogging, life