Tuesday, April 23, 2013
COLLATERAL DAMAGE
I am always interested in the other people in the lives of killers, psychopaths, the "innocent bystanders".
What does it feel like to be a parent of a killer? A bomber? How does that play out?
In his book Far From the Tree, Andrew Solomon reserves an entire section for these people.
Unlike a family visited by a child's disability or even prodigy, the parent of a kid who "goes bad" is as estranged from having a normal parent relationship and is also blamed, somehow, for the situation.
Social disapproval is intense.
In the case of the Marathon Bombers (easier than spelling their names and, in a way, I don't want to name them) we have heard from the parents and aunts and uncles.
The range of reaction is wide. Some think "the nice boys" were set up. Others are baffled. Not one has refused to be interviewed. In a way they seem to have wallowed in it.
I was surprised to see that there is a wife. And a child.
Talented Artist Now Bombing Suspect's Wife
And, a young woman who is a child of other parents, a doctor. Not that doctors get any exemption.
Keerist.
I know. Others have suffered mightily. Why be concerned with this young woman. This child?
I don't know. It is collateral damage.
This is going to be awful for them. For the kid.
Tragedy doesn't stop at some doorsteps. It enters almost every door.
I knew a woman whose daughter was recruited into a cult. It seems similar to me.
Powerless.
On the other hand, it could be the beginning of a challenging life. Like any other situation it depends on us to marshal our resources and overcome or transcend or work through shit like this.
