esrosedotblog

JAVA

It has been 4 or 5 months since I quit drinking coffee. I didn't have a lot of trouble doing it. I just tapered out. No headaches, nausea, or diarrhea. I didn't have much of a psychological yearning or craving. It just sort of went away.

The last two or three days, I find that I really want to have some caffeine. I have had some sleepiness, which did not occur before. I think about having it. And 'something' is telling me in the morning and afternoon, that I 'need' to have some coffee.

This is a new twist. When I got sober, I had a long period of recovery but the desire to drink, per se, was lifted. I think about drinking every once in awhile but I don't desire a drink. Believe me, there is a difference. I would have drunk dreams, but they were not overwhelming if I talked to someone about it.

When I quit smoking, I used the patch and weaned off successfully and while there was a sort of long period where I would 'miss' a cigarette, I could always sort of pin down the situation that had triggered it. This is after the physical withdrawal was way over. I seemed to have to live out each situation without a cigarette. Then it was gone.

I did have smoking dreams too. I still do from time to time. But they are not upsetting. I am never ever near to buying a pack of cigarettes. It is just not in the picture for me. In the old days, when I tried to quit, I would always bolt and buy a pack, then throw it away, then repeat and then give up. Not this time.

Now, this coffee thing is sort of a bolt out of the blue. I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose. But, I did think that I was over it. I guess not. There is no alcohol or tobacco in our house. There is coffee. People expect it when they visit. I am happy to comply. There is also caffeinated soda. Different. Easier to think I could go brew one or grab a coke.

Often, writing about a yen will shake the power of it. That is not so much the case now. I think that I 'need' or 'want' a cup of coffee now more than when I started writing this. I want that bounce.

I guess I will go get a can of V-8 juice. On the other hand, when I quit smoking, I was advised not to substitute but to just have the craving out. So I maybe I won't go for the juice.

SUBLIMATION

There is so much aristocratic suppression here that the villains of the piece do all kinds of nasty acting out before they are caught out at it. This beautiful film, today's NY Times Best 1176,
Dangerous Liasons (1988)
by Stephen Frears is great fun to watch and funny, in a nasty way.

I normally resist costume movies. It always seems to bring out a lot of ham in everyone. While this is no exception, the emoting is pretty good.

John Malkovich and Glenn Close do quite well as the older, more manipulative acting out-ers. Michelle Pfeiffer, Uma Thurman, and Keanu Reeves (very very young) are the, sometimes willing, victims.

There are great supporting roles for Swoosie Kurtz, who I adore in any film, and Mildred Natwick. Natwick was a regular on early, live television drama and had quite a career. She was always a favorite of mine since I was a kid.

Aside from the story itself, I really liked watching this movie. It is sumptuously presented.

It is nice to see the denouement. It is old fashioned in that there are just deserts for the overly pious and the nastily inclined.

I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5.

HOLD THAT TIGER

In the mail from Dave:

Tempting....

http://www.apple.com/downloads/macosx/dashboard/dashblog.html

http://www.apple.com/downloads/macosx/dashboard/minipatience.html

http://www.apple.com/downloads/macosx/dashboard/wikipedia.html

Interesting but beneath con-tempt!

The blog dash is interesting but I would be shy of it I think. I have enough problems with blogger.com's interface--although lately they have been aces.

I could not desert deltatao.com which was the original Mac solitaire game. He gave it away. Of course, it helped get him into the market with a lot of other games I don't buy so there is a guilt factor here. I just keep downloading his beta tests which I think he doesn't work on much as there isn't any visible change from one to the other--the downloads explode after two months. I love this feature. Masochistic.

Wikipedia? Yeh. I guess. But I know everything and don't use encyclopedias very much. I used to contribute to them...remember when you could just go in and write stuff and it would last until 'the committee' cleared it? I would go in and write about somebody (probably bushie) being a platinum grade asshole. Amazingly it would stay up for awhile. They have gotten too prim for me. Now you have to be a member and be responsible. They are not even on my browser bar.

But. I am working on being convinced.

As for the download problems, there are none. We have plenty of anecdotal that it is as smooth as silk. Panther was this way.

I am convinced that the Spotlight feature would be really great if I had files; which I do not. I am mostly using my computer to browse, blog, game, handle digital photos, and as an FM radio. The latter may change as I am still thinking that I will get serious about getting Serius. None of this involves looking for files.

911 REDUX

Yesterday, I wrote about 911 and living wills.

No not that 9-11; this 911, right here on the phone.

I guess I need to explain a bit.

The thing about dialing 911 is that you are asking for extraordinary measures of medical care. They will apply the paddles. They will load you with chemicals. They will take you to an ER where, yet again, the people are paid to use extraordinary measures.

None of these people, thus far, are interested, nor need they be interested, in reading your Living Will. You called them. You get what you asked for.

Now, when you get out of the ER or ICU and upstairs at the hospital, you may already be on a respirator and an eating tube. Whip out your Living Will. It will take several levels of influence to get you off the life support. If you want to be off it.

So there is this huge grey area. Gray? (Answers.com says either! New to me).

Obviously, if you are in an auto accident and your chest is bust and your legs are fucked up but you are breathing and conscious you probably want them to use all their skill to take care of you. If, on the other hand, you are 90 years old and they have come to resuscitate you three times and your spouse or other keeps calling 911, tell him or her to stop the fucking calls!

Same is if you are in some terminal disease and you want to die at home. Stick with it, as grisly as it may be. Don't call 911. They will take you to the land of extraordinary measures.

One of the keys to this whole thing is the advent of hospice care. If you are pretty ill and it looks like it is curtains, sign up for hospice and none of this will be done. Period. When the person gets real sick you call hospice and let them decide. You will get to stay at home as long as the other people at home can stand you and the mess. If you have to go to other care, it will be hospice. They will support you dying.

I just thought it was interesting that the first impulse when someone is down is to call 911. You might restrain yourself and think it through before you do and consider what the person who is down might want. Not even if the EMT guy is as pretty as this one. Nice smile. They are all smiling. Hey, we're dyin' here! Sober up.

NON-X-TINCT

A while ago, The New Yorker had a long piece about the search for the ivory-billed woodpecker (do you capitalize the names of birds)?

No one had seen one in over 60 years, yet many people had heard them or thought they knew where some were or had dreams about them or something.

You might say 'who cares'.

That would be you who should.

The ivory-bill is one of those harbingers of the ecologosphere.

If he has been wiped out, you could be next.

If he is just rare, he can be used to stop further depredations of the environment. He would be like one of those hoot owls that caused all the trouble in the northwest.

Now, in the LA Times we see that he has been found. Good for him. Good for us. Go see:
A Bellwether of the Wild, the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker, Is Back.

He is not capitalized in the story. And it is ivory-dash-billed. He is a big fellow. I am glad that s/he is around today. Even if I would have to go to Arkansas to see it.

DOING THE BARRED

This is pretty good:
In One Prison, Murder, Betrayal and High Prose.

This, from the New York Times, is about a theater project in a prison.

I have worked in prisons doing 'outside' work inside; problem solving and, of all things, team building.

It is an uphill battle from the first second you start to work. Everything is against positive steps.

It begins with the skeptical if not hostile administration and goes on from there.

Cons do con you. for example.

I cannot imagine the stuff these people went through to put this on.

Today, I write to a few prisoners and find that hope and optimism are in short supply. This kind of work has to help a few men and women change the 'inevitable' outcome of time. And that is what it is for most. Time. Endless time.

911

Well, for one thing, why are all these people laughing? Or smiling. The victim has multiple fractures!

Anyway, that is not why the pic is up there.

We just finished another revision round on the living will front. We have rewritten ours a few times. The laws keep changing. And publicity illuminates the latest cracks in the system.

We did it as a matter of routine. I don't think that the Schaivo debacle, finally letting the body die, had much to do with it. But there we are filling out a new form.

One thing we learned a long time ago is that you do NOT use one of the standard form things. You get a lawyer. Preferably a trust attorney who specializes in end of life issues across the board. They all tie together.

Another thing is that here, as in most places, you have to be careful what you ask for, as you will probably get it. And it will be the last thing you get. A good attorney can sit with you and ask you questions about the feeding tube. And do you think that starvation is painful? And so on.

Now, to the picture. Our biggest revelation is that if you have a near death emergency and you dial 911, you automatically revoke all the provisions of your living will. If you don't want the paddles, don't dial 911. If you don't want a respirator, don't dial 911. The fact is that dialing 911 is a request for life extension no matter what.

Now, realistically, you are not going to have any say about it. If you are lying on the floor unconscious it is not you that is crying for help. It is your other. Or some other. They have a judgment to make and 911 may not be the default that you want. Think about it. You can undo the process that starts when you do the 911 call, but it is a long and difficult series of legal steps. Once on life extension, it is very hard to get off. Just ask Terry.

Well, what do you do? If there is hospice care in the picture you call them. They know what to do. If you are at home and one can drive you in, do that. Another thing is to talk about it to as many people who are close to you as possible. Let them know you would like some judgment before they hit that dial-up.

There are a lot of other things in the new form. Right to visitors; friends and family. Do you want to be cremated? What happens when your living will caretaker gets mashed up in the car with you?

None of this is too pleasant to think about but now is better than later when your thinking is on the fritz and someone else is trimming your sails. Better give them a few landmarks to sight on the way into port.

HOLD THAT TIGER

Here is David Pogue's review of the new MacTiger operating system.

I think I will wait a while for the tweaking and also for the updates to follow. I am a big Now-up-to-date user and don't want to give that up yet.

Also, I just don't think that I file search enough to get all that excited about the Spotlight. Sorry, guys.

As for the rest, I am interested but not excited.

Now, here come the emails to tell me I am wrong.

BARRY

Andrew Sullivan reminds us that, on many matters, Barry Goldwater would be an outsider in his own party today.

I remember Goldwater fondly. He was a maverick. He said what he believed. Even if one did not agree with him, you disagreed respectfully.

In his later years, he became a kind of wise man who counseled his party without too much result.

He had some surprising positions. He was fervently for gay rights. You got to love him for that.

Honesty, and a truly conservative set of beliefs would, indeed, set him at odds with many GOoPers of today: the younger bushes, the roves, the Delays, the Santorums, the Frists, and the rest. Here is one example.

"However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in 'A,' 'B,' 'C,' and 'D.' Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of 'conservatism.'"- Barry Goldwater, September 16, 1981.

Of course, not all republicans are of the demagogic variety. There are moderates and true believers in the constitution. Perhaps, soon, they will gain the courage to speak out and reclaim some of the Goldwater spark. Then, while we would certainly disagree, we could restore respect for them.

THE BOSS HAS A LAUGH

At the The Daily Scribble.

Bush trippin' through the bluebells holdin' hands with the sheik. Is this a good time to be seen cheek to jowl with a Saudi?

And the Saudi said 'no'. Not good days in Crawford.

BLINK

So, it isn't over.

Reid made Frist blink.

The doc says that he is not interested in any deal on judges.

Not a good thing to say as the polls are going.

Maybe the Dems are finally putting the spine on. To say nothing of being canny political operatives. Nice.

MAD DOG

Boy, is this a wild commercial: A fur covered wrecking ball.

SHOWTIME

If I was going to go to NYC to see a show, I would want to see The Pillowman with Billy Crudup and Jeff Goldblum.

The pleasure of seeing Crudup aside, the show sounds like a spectacular romp through the theatrical exercise book combining horror with comedy and all the rest.

There is a neat slide show at the article linked.

I know. I just did a thing on Billy C. but this article seemed to tell a side of him that we don't usually see. You don't think I am overdoing it do you? A bit of a crush and all?

CRUSADES

I am as incensed as any lefty would be about the encroachment of church into state but I have to remember that this tension has always been around. When I was a town meeting moderator I created a sensation by dropping the invocation and the 'lord's' prayer from the meeting. I got by though.

When I was a kid the church was everywhere. I remember a lot of church shows on tee-vee. Bishop Sheen was on in prime time. The Elmer Gantry types were rampant.

We said the prayer in school and the school hosted religous classes after hours. There was not a whimper about it. Christ was everywhere.

I am not saying that things now are OK. It is still a fight. The churched cannot rest until the un-churched are converted. But in perspective, I have to remember that the good guys have always won on this and seem to be doing OK today.

Sooner or later the televangelist and the demagogue step on their own cranks and do themselves in.

But, like the undead, they rise to strike again. It is a constant battle. Too many christians and not enough lions. An old but apt joke.

DOWN FOR THE COUNT

We watched the original, the ur-text, the template Dracula (1931) with Bela Lugosi.

The movie, a NY Times Best 1176 Film, is a prime example of a simple truth. It does not matter how cheesy the production may be, if the story is good and the 'chemistry' is right, a movie will hold you tight until it decides to let you go.

It is hard to say what the glue is here but it worked. We enjoyed it.

We saw the end of Lugosi's life in Ed Wood. Martin Landau did the honors and Ebert talks some about the links in his review at the link above.

I can't give this more than a 2 out of Netflix5 really. It is a curiosity. There have been so many imitators that it is hard to see the impact of Lugosi himself or to work around the limitations of this early sound film. I am sure that if I saw it in the original it would scare me whether the bats look like puppets or not.

CAUGHT

So today, Reid is talking to Frist and they are making a deal. That is their job; what they are supposed to do. I imagine Frist looked at the brink and blinked. Maybe they both did.

I am getting way to caught up in all this again.

I had kept my hands off it and now I am obsessing about the pols. Nothing for me in any of that. OK. Back to the real world.

DO SOMETHING

So, the Demos and Reid aren't going to do nothing. They are going to do something else; make the GOoPers vote no on these issues.

Press release from Reid's office:

As a matter of comity, the Minority in the Senate traditionally defers to the Majority in the setting of the agenda. If Bill Frist pulls the nuclear trigger, Democrats will show deference no longer.
Invoking a little-known Senate procedure called Rule XIV, last week Democrats put nine bills on the Senate calendar that seek to help America fulfill its promise.

If Republican's break the rules Democrats will use the rule to bring to the Senate floor an agenda that meets the needs of average Americans, such as lowering gas prices, reducing the cost of health care and helping veterans.

"Across the country, people are worried about things that matter to their families - the health of their loved ones, their child's performance in schools, and those sky high gas prices," said Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid. "But what is the number one priority for Senate Republicans? Doing away with the last check on one-party rule in Washington to allow President Bush, Senator Frist and Tom Delay to stack the courts with radical judges. If Republicans proceed to pull the trigger on the nuclear option, Democrats will respond by employing existing Senate rules to push forward our agenda for America."

Democrats have introduced bills that address America's real challenges. (Details attached)

1. Women's Health Care (S. 844). "The Prevention First Act of 2005" will reduce the number of unintended pregnancies and abortions by increasing funding for family planning and ending health insurance discrimination against women.

2. Veterans' Benefits (S. 845). "The Retired Pay Restoration Act of 2005" will assist disabled veterans who, under current law, must choose to either receive their retirement pay or disability compensation.

3. Fiscal Responsibility (S. 851). Democrats will move to restore fiscal discipline to government spending and extend the pay-as-you-go requirement.

4. Relief at the Pump (S. 847). Democrats plan to halt the diversion of oil from the markets to the strategic petroleum reserve. By releasing oil from the reserve through a swap program, the plan will bring down prices at the pump.

5. Education (S. 848). Democrats have a bill that will: strengthen head start and child care programs, improve elementary and secondary education, provide a roadmap for first generation and low-income college students, provide college tuition relief for students and their families, address the need for math, science and special education teachers, and make college affordable for all students.

6. Jobs (S. 846). Democrats will work in support of
legislation that guarantees overtime pay for workers and sets a fair minimum wage.

7. Energy Markets (S. 870). Democrats work to prevent Enron-style market manipulation of electricity.

8. Corporate Taxation (S. 872). Democrats make sure companies pay their fair share of taxes to the U.S. government instead of keeping profits overseas.

9. Standing with our troops (S. 11). Democrats believe that putting America's security first means standing up for our troops and their families

"Abusing power is not what the American people sent us to Washington to do. We need to address real priorities instead -- fight for relief at the gas pump, stronger schools and lower health care costs for America's families," said Senator Reid.

Thanks again to Daily Kos

SELF IMMOLATION

Remember those monks that would set themselves on fire during one of the wars we had?

I am reminded of that when I see stuff like this result from the latest Washington Post poll.

The first item is for Frist. The second is about junior.

Would you support or oppose changing the Senate rules to make it easier for the Republicans to confirm Bush's judicial nominees?

Support - 26%

Oppose - 66%

Do you approve or disapprove of the way Bush is handling:

Approve / Disapprove

A. Social Security 31 / 64
B. Iraq 42 / 56
C. Economy 40 / 57
D. Terrorism 56 / 41
E. Energy Policy 35 / 54

Which party better represents your personal values?

Dems - 47%
GOP - 38%

This is all by way of Daily Kos; thanks.

With all the handwringing about what the Demos should do (for god's sake) this would say that Howard Dean and Harry Reid's idea of doing effectively nothing but holding at the wall is correct.

Another place, I read that the bushies misinterpreted their support for terrorism as extending to all other areas. This seems to have been mistaken.

I don't know. It is just nice to see these bullshit artists turn in their own wind.

DREAM ON

Today's film, a NY Times Best 1176, has an utterly original story. Two sub-working class girls, young women actually, become friends accidentally and begin to live together. They are effectively runaways from families that they never really had in the first place.

For awhile their luck works for them and then it does not. Their dreams are vague and unrealistic and they are ill equipped to handle real life.The film is
La Vie rêvée des anges / The Dreamlife of Angels. (1998).

The style here is almost documentary. The acting is superb. It is a totally absorbing film. There is some tough stuff to watch in it. Some of the sex is rough and the ending is not what we would write if it were a Hollywood coming of age film. That is a good thing.

The girls are great, they shared Best Actress at Cannes. They are separated by their sexuality or lack thereof. Only one of them is sexually involved and in a way that is to erase her feelings. She is a depressive. The other is a gamin. Sexless. The little sister. Leslie Caron, Audrey Tatou. Very French. She feels abandoned.

The boyfriends are great too. The one is a 'bear' and a nice man as 'bears' tend to be. The other is a hunk and a bit of a shit. Well, a real shit; as hunks tend to be. He is just so pretty I wanted him to be nicer. I think that is what they wanted me to feel/think.

I should say that this is not a tragic movie. It is fascinating to watch and the relationships are intriguing. It is also not about lesbians. The affection between the girls is sisterly but, in the end, they are not and cannot be sisters. And if they are they have to grow away from each other.

Time flew. Feelings flowed. The whole thing is a very nice package, indeed.

I wish I understood French so I could have gotten all of it.

I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5 and you should see it too.

BS

Dan Neil is a Pulitzer Prize winning writer for the LA Times. His normal beat is the auto page where his virtuoso performances at car review are worth reading whether you care about cars or not.

Now they have given him a weekly column in the Magazine section called 800 Words.

Here, he writes about what he wants. This week, he tackles the book On Bullshit which has been getting a big play in the press. It is a 'scholarly' work by Princeton professor Harry Frankfurt: Prize Bull.

Not only is this a good sample of Dan's writing but it also is one of the better examples of all the reviews that have been written about this book.

I suspect the volume of writing about it is not so much what is in the book as the permission it gives to go legit with the term 'bullshit' in otherwise cloistered publications.

Another thing, it is an opportunity for others to get on the bullshit wagon and bullshit about bullshit.

This writeup is also an opportunity for me to show Dan's picture. Basically, I have been bullshitting you about the quality of his writing which is high. I just wanted a good excuse to put his picture on the blog. He is one sexy guy. Look at those eyes.

TWO HANDED EXERCISE

OK. I took a week or more off daily writing so now I got the skeezix.

I can't think of anything to write about and if something does come to mind, I talk myself out of writing because, because, because.

None of this is very blog healthy. Self consciousness and inertia are the enemies of the blog writer. I am the victim of both.

But, I am here; it is 4:20 AM and I have exhausted this morning's diet of Salon and The New York Times on line and have about thirty minutes on my hands before I go meditate for 20, get the LA Times from outside, eat my breakfast, and take off for the hour bike ride. My string of daily 'obligations'.

What to write about; what to write about?

I could do another pope piece. I see that the reason he turned so conservative was the lefty-communist-free love-sinners he ran into in the sixties. His formative years. He turned away in revulsion. Nothing there about the Hitler youth experience or anything and how that might have given him a certain perspective. Obviously not. The puff piece part of the 'love the Ratz' campaign was to deflect attention from the whole Nazi Ratzi connection.

But I am fucking tired of the pope and all the coverage. Why should I give good ink time to him too? No.

Then there is the continued saga of the GOoPers falling all over themselves to suck-ass with the irreligous right. The funny thing is that they are running in two directions. Santorum almost ran into Frist as he ran from the christers and Frist was running toward. To and fro. Demagogues. Santorum has a terrible poll situation. State (get this) Treasurer Casey is beating him all to hell in the early runnings. A State Treasurer! I don't even know who mine is! (Well, yes I do. Phil Angelides and he is a Democrat and he will be running for Governor and he is coming up on Arnies big ass fast too. But back to the reeps).

Frist, on the other hand, has it in mind to run for the vacancy now occupied by geebush, the current meat puppet for the cheneys and roves of the world. He needs the wing nuts as bad as dubya does or did. It is hard not to think of junior in the past tense even though he still has most of those 'four more years' to wreak considerable havoc. If we can't get the fucker impeached first.

In reality though, he has squandered most of that much vaunted political capital and is the earliest lamest duck we have ever seen. He will be the last to know though. Brass balls.

Then I could run one by on Tom Delay. The slimy, smug and mean bastard they chose to run the show on the repub congress. But, he seems to be doing pretty well all by himself with no help from me.

What else? More depredations for gay rights? Naw. Situation the same. Erosion on one side and wins on another. Stasis. I could go to Connecticut to be a Certified Partner if I wasn't already one in California. What's with the C-states?

The weather turned cold again out here. I could write about that. I figured that I had turned the heat up in the AM for the last time. No such luck. Two days running it was a 'cold' 76 when I got out to the kitchen. Yeh, I know. We have talked about warmness before and the relativity of it all. Baselines here being different and all.

We are having after shocks from the acrimonious election we just had. The Save the Hills people have gotten a bit co-opted by the City council. A secret planning committee has been formed to negotiate a mid-way solution. Evidently the councillors are worried enough about backlash to try assauging the people they fucked over when they voted against the conservation measures. You know, campaign promises down the drain?

Evidently they do not want to go into re-elect mode with a near 50% anger problem going against them.

Junior seems to be the only pol who is happy to have half the people thinking he sucks.

How am I doing? I don't have a picture or, as they now say, 'image' up yet. I guess I will go and look for one. I have pretty much filled in my time and I am writing again.

SLUMMING

Today's movie was William Wyler's Dead End (1937).
It is one of the NY Times 1176 Best Films.

This had been a successful Broadway play and was adapted almost directly for film.

The main set is really wonderful. The movie opens with a long and loving exploration of the street, tenements, and encroaching high rise apartment building.

The camera uses its breadth extensively, sweeping here and there and up and down to punctuate the action and provide visual pauses. It is great to watch. In fact, the entire production is rich and full of action; lots of crowd scenes; a lot of stuff happening all the time. It is a street scene, after all.

The drama is a bit dated since the social milieu is entirely gone, but the idea of poverty breeding crime and the legacy of generations in that life is timeless. The juxtaposition of rich and poor underlines the theme. The impact of rampant development of high rises or their equivalent, is still with us. We have it right here in our own city.

Humphrey Bogart makes his second film appearance as "Baby Face" Nelson who is returning to his old stomping grounds. Joel McCrea, Sylvia Sidney and Claire Trevor are the other leads. Trevor got an Oscar nomination for Supporting Actress with her five minute appearance as Bogart's ex. It is quite the performance and I think out of her type entirely.

There are a bunch of familiar players from Ward Bond to Marjorie Main in minor roles. For an old movie goer like me is was like visiting old friends. That was the great thing about the contract player and studio system. It was a repertory company that kept the quality high and lent itself to a kind of ensemble playing that is gone today.

The street kids in this film stayed together in Warner shorts and features as the Dead End Kids and later, the Bowery Boys; Huntz Hall, Leo Gorcey, and the others. They were Saturday matinee regulars for a long time and, except for Gabriel Dell, who became a standup comic, it pretty much cooked their careers for anything else. Talk about type casting. They are below, ten years later, in 1947.

Did you notice when this came out? 1937; the year I was born!

I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5.

NO PLACE TO HYDE

Frederic March was a great actor. We have already seen him in Best Years of Our Lives. And there will be some more in the Best Films series.

I saw him work with his wife Florence Eldridge along with Jason Robards Jr. in the Oneill play Long Day's Journey Into Night while I was in college.

It seems that he was always around in films and theater as I grew up. He took me along with him in a way.

Today he was the main man in one of the Best Films Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1932). This is before my time so it is fun to see him younger than in my mind. He was always the quintessential father figure. In this, he doesn't seem much like a papa.

The film is regarded as the best of many many versions. It is before the code and therefore faces the id/superego duality directly. It is pretty clear about the sexual aspect. The transformations are really amazing given the techniques available at the time.

Rouban Mamoulian directed and the use of point of view photography, play with mirrors, lighting and the dramatic but not over the top character shifts are all just the best. It is just a great film to watch.

I will give it a 4 out of Netflix5.

Incidentally, on the disc, it is paired with the Spencer Tracy version which came in 1941. I am not that fond of Tracy so we didn't watch to compare. Enough is enough.

And another thing.

I always thought that you pronounced it jekyll as in heckle. In the film it is jeeeekul. Which does not rhyme with anything.

SPIN

I see that they are trying to soften Herr Ratz image already.

I read that the US cardinals are saying that he is not all that bad really. "In one voice" the Times said. I guess that means there are talking points.

Cardinal Mahoney, our local embarrassment, said that the kraut was the kind of guy you could go to Starbucks with and have an enjoyable coffee. Yeh. When is the last time that Mahoney was seen at a Starbucks?

Yesterday, there was a fawning article about how the panzer pope loves cats. Or is it katz? There was a cute pussy picture; a cat sleeping on a cross gravestone. A lot of irony here, I think.

The over the top coverage of this guy is amazing; as though we are all believers and dote on every bit of information.

Katz. Ratz. Figures.

TIC TIC TIC

I woke at 2:30 this morning. Family was to arrive in Boston about that time; red-eye from Long Beach; the good JetBlue.

It was a pleasure to see that their plane arrived on time and OK. I knew they were on it because they called before they boarded.

We have a syndrome around here called The Prom Night Effect. It is an old reflexive, parental imperative.

When my kids were teeners, there was always some horror show in town on prom night. Some kids would wipe out on a curve; others would get into trouble of some kind.

So, while I never much bothered to worry while they drove cars by themselves or walked across highways or played team sports, I always worried on prom night. Or any night when I knew they would be travelling.

It was the knowing that was the problem. The special occasion of it. It's gotta be primal. Look, they even made a horror flick about it; Jamie Lee Curtis level.

This 'tic' continues today. I could go months not worrying about anyone but get a line in an email or a comment on the phone when there is special travel, a marathon bike ride, a long drive, I count the minutes until they will be back.

Need I say that 'the kids' are now phasing into their mid forties.

So I was up at 2:30 checking it out. The plane arrived a little early; before I got up.

Now, I will inch them down the expressway and home until I get a phone call that they arrived safely. After that we can all go about our business and I will not have a prom night experience for quite awhile; until the next 'kid' calls to say they are driving somewhere more than the normal commute or doing a high risk activity like kayaking or anything else off the beaten everyday track.

Part of bein' a parent.

EARTH DAY

RATZ!

This is a wonderful first hand account from Mike Signorile of his encounter with the new pope back in 1988.

It was a transforming experience for at least one of them.

My Encounter with Pope Benedict XVI.

It is from his first book, Queer in America: Sex, the Media and the Closets of Power, published in 1993.

FOG

I subjected the blog to the Juicy Studio Readability Test.

Here are the results:

Readability Results for http://esrose.blogspot.com/
Readability Results
Summary Value
Total sentences 302
Total words 2,520
Average words per Sentence 8.34
Words with 1 Syllable 1,884
Words with 2 Syllables 422
Words with 3 Syllables 154
Words with 4 or more Syllables 60
Percentage of word with three or more syllables 8.49%
Average Syllables per Word 1.36
Gunning Fog Index 6.73
Flesch Reading Ease 83.22
Flesch-Kincaid Grade 3.73

You can interpret these results for yourself at their website, but I think that it comes out pretty good. They say that most writing strives for a Fog in this area. The reading ease is pretty high. But it is hard to believe that I am only in the fourth grade of reading.

We used to strive for eighth grade level in our training materials but based on this, I think we might have been a bit lower than that. I didn't write the materials alone but it was at about the same level.

Does anyone see anything else? This is sort of like having your prostate checked. Laying it all out for inspection. I will explain to the ladies if they need a diagram. I guess I just added to the grade level.

FINIS

We completed the tenth story in
Dekalog / The Decalogue (1988).

It is still a five. The last three were quite remarkable and the tenth, a big surprise, was a comedy. A bit of dark in the comedy, but a lot of laughs, nonetheless.

This is quite something. I strongly recommend it.

I have no final pronouncements. The work is just all good.

Now on to the rest of the New York Times Best 1176 Films.

WINNER

Democracy for America has been having a contest for a billboard to appear in Tom Delay's Texas congressional district.

And the winner is:

FOOD

I went to My Pyramid, the new USDA food pyramid revision. The old one is over to the right.

Now you get to put in your age, gender, and physical activity to get your own personal food pyramid.

The lines were jammed.

But, once it came through, I was quite impressed with the results. They are very specific and, I think, helpful.

I have pretty good nutrition and meet most of the standards but there were still a few eye openers.

It is obvious that this whole scheme depends on net technology for it to work. Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, the people who most need it, may not have access to it; poor, elderly, and of course, the clueless.

There are already some debunkers as there always are. I personally regard the USDA as fairly reliable in its basic work. Sure, the have 'industry' people on their neck; but there are a lot of health advocates as well. It is probably a fair balance.

The fact is that people are generally very badly informed about food, period. In the long ago, I studied Food Technology so I have a bit of a leg up. Anything that gives people the basic information to make some healthy choices has to be a good thing.

I suggest you give it a try. If only to check out the technology. You might just find that you need to drink a little more milk, or less.

TROOPERS

As you know, the administration and congress are socking it to the returning troops. Not so in the real world.

Look at this LA Times article.

This sure beats the troop loop stickers all to hell. You know; those magnetic mottos that started out on the heaviest SUVs and pickups and now bedeck most of the car-herd?

Welcome Stop for Warriors.

I got a little teary just reading about it.

This is for the living of course. All the wounded and dead come home in the dark. They say it is because of the time zone thing. Sure.

These guys are out all hours.

It is a great thing.

MORE

I am curious about what a lot of catholics think of Ratzinger.

Here is a compendium today in Salon; mostly liberal viewpoints.

Of course, it is rather one sided, but so is the new pope:

The Church Will Continue to Suffer.

DEPPED

Nice tribute to our Johnny:
Aw, Who Am I Kidding, I'll Never Top 21 Jump Street.

Well, he has come a long way.

STOP ACTION

This is a great story about the guy who tipped off the FBI on Zacarias Moussaoui: The Grounded Man.

I found it to be a fascinating story. It will take a while to read, but it is full of suspense and a lot of interesting shit about how they do flight training.

And the guy who did it is also a 'friend of Bill'. So much for everyone's anonymity including mine, I guess.

QUICKIE

Well, it looks like they drew a line to the shortest distance between two points.

Ratzinger is the new pope.

I won't make fun of the name. Not me. It is tempting though.

Steve Soto on The Left Coaster notes that it is like Dick Cheney getting elected President of the US.

They got the guy behind the throne and a harder liner than the guy he was behind.

Fortunately, he is 78. I am not a catholic but, if I were, I would take this as an ominous selection.

But, they say that these guys change when they put on the hat; that the first hundred days are the formative ones.

I suspect it is all more or less formed.

If you want to know what Dominus Jesus is all about, take a look at this
The Ratzinger Doctrine.

Like I said, I don't care a whole lot, but it does say that the rest of us (and a lot of catholics too) are more or less fucked.

Perhaps he will be a kinder gentler pope.

Does anyone know where that gesture comes from; the cupped hands, beseeching and all? It shows up in a lot of the upper crust hierarchical appearances. Did they all go to the same gesture school? Or is it some kind of secret handshake with a portion of the public? Don't get it.

Oh. And one more thing, not that anyone will give a shit. I will never call him benedict. He will always be Herr Ratzinger to me. Or Der Ratz.

Yes, I know it is disrespectful. Why else would I say such a thing?

BEGINNING

230 years ago today, the 'shot heard 'round the world' was fired:
The Battle of Lexington Green.

As a long time New Englander, the idea that all this started on that day is still a thrill.

Read the first hand account on the link.

UBER-BITCH

Boy, am I happy we cancelled our Time subscription last year (in disgust).

This week they have a feature and cover on that Ann Coulter.

Talk about degenerates.

Henry Luce must be spinning in his grave; if he has any spin left after what they have done with his baby over the years.

It's upsetting enough that I might write and cancel it again.

FOUR THROUGH SEVEN

We are still watching The Decalogue.

The one hour segments are each sparkling gems. There is some interconnection, but it is mild and mostly just entertaining to see other characters from other stories show up.

We still are not really sure of which commandment we are watching but in the discussion of it, we enlighten the message or moral or experience.

The 'film' or series is still holding a 5 out of Netflix5.

I suppose that there are some 4's but the whole work is so intertwined that it is a nit pick to compare the stories.

REVVING UP

I developed a fondness for graffiti art while riding on Amtrak from Boston to New York City.

The walls and tunnels along the rail right of way are chock full of it.

I loved all the scenic coastline on the way to the city and then as the shore gave way to the city, nature was trumped by the, sometimes, breathtaking marks made on walls, abutments, metal work, and anything that did not move.

There is no equivalent here. Yes, there is graffiti. No, it is not really inspired.

This article in the New York Times tells about a graffiti artist gone legit while still underground:
A Graffiti Legend Is Back On The Street.

There is a great slide show with photos. His name is REVS. I don't know if I ever saw any of his work, but looking at his new pieces revives the excitement of the trainride gallery.

VACATION

There are a lot of nice things about having visitors but there is a special surprise; we get a vacation too! One would think that it would be more work, but one would be wrong.

We make no special events or take any special effort. Visitors are on their own. Meals are a little more complicated with varied tastes and all but I even manage to simplify that; meat, carbo and salad. No dessert.

All the routine stuff gets shoved here and there. We try to live a 'normal' life with the same routine when people are here but, in reality, that is an illusion. And a good thing it is!

What actually happens is that the pace slows to that of the guests comings and goings. We do some things that we normally do not do, recreationally speaking.

We spend more time in our back yard; the pool, the grassy area. We sit. We watch kids, if there are any. We talk slowly. We adopt the mood of the vacationers who are drugged by the hot dry air, the lack of an agenda.

Before we know it, we are back to the times that we came here on vacation; nothing to do but melt into the heat and sun. Take a dip. Relax.

Yeh. "Relax"? you say, "from what"? Retired? Stress? Well sure. It doesn't matter what part of the life cycle I am in, I can stir up tension. I can get 'behind' on my do list even when there isn't that much to do.

So I am sitting back for a little while. We are on the beach. Well, the pool. It's vacation time again.

COOKIN'

We have seen/heard Barbara Cook sing a few times. The first was at the old Carousel Lounge in the Copley Plaza in Boston.

It was a weird room. The center was round and revolved. They blacked the room out and Cook had to enter, then navigate the roundtable and make it to the stage while doing 'Sing a song with me'. It was a thrill to hear the voice out of the dark. One immediately forgot the acrobatics required.

We last heard her here at a big benefit, across a big tented room. The thrill was the same.

Now, she is at the Café Carlyle in New York City, the room that Bobby Short owned. At 77, she apparently can still hold the room and the critics hostage. She is a great talent.

HIATUS

We have family visiting so all routines take second place to that. It will be quiet on here for awhile. Not silent, perhaps, but quiet.

THREE

We watched the third film in the Dekalog series.

I think it was about the adultery one. Which is not three. Three is about taking the lord's name in vain.

They are not completely clear. That is good. Otherwise they would be like tedious sunday school lessons.

It is clear though, that all three we have seen involve moral choices on the part of the main characters; and some of the subordinate ones also.

In any case, it was pretty good. A 4 out of Netflix5 if we were to rate it that way. But it is part of a whole.

DEKALOG

We watched Number Two which, as far as I can see, does not correlate with the second commandment. (No graven images). But I am thinking about it.

The acting in these films is so fine.

And, there is a lot of great photography off the actors and on props.

This film has a great 'analogy' shot of a bee struggling out of a drink and onto the handle of a spoon, then flying away; a struggle for life and a win.

The one hour of program time speeds by. The work is totally absorbing.

ANDY DECODES FOR US

I still like to read whatever he has to offer and often link to the articles he has written in the MSM for which, it is said, he has reduced his blogging. It is all the same and all good even if he pisses me off.

Today, he helps us parse out the euphemistic coverage given to the royal succession in the country of Monaco.

EUPHEMISM WATCH: I think I know what the NYT is trying to tell us here:

Prince Albert, meanwhile, has been linked to a long list of high-profile women known for appearing on the arms of middle-aged bachelors. There have been no signs of anything like a romance. "Knowing Rainier, I am convinced he was sorry not to see his son marry a young Catholic princess and have children," said Claude de Kemoularia, a former chief of staff in the palace and a longtime friend of the prince. "He was always reluctant to give the power to his son too early because he was waiting for his son to marry and have a male heir." So reticent has Albert remained about marriage throughout the years of public speculation and private pressures that his father sought changes to the Constitution three years ago to allow the crown to pass to one of the princesses or their children if Albert abdicated or died without a child.
Take a wild guess.

LAWLESS

I am stunned but not surprised to see this:
Disgraced Cardinal Says Memorial Mass for Pope.

So Law got out of the country before he could be arrested and now lives the soft life in Rome. No wonder he thinks the pope was such a great guy.

Birds of a feather, I suppose.

In any case, a real 'fuck you' from the holy city or whatever it is called.

BILLY

We have watched Billy Crudup for a long time. He is very watchable. And extremely talented.

It is great to see that he is, again, a hit on Broadway:
The Pillowman

And gets great reviews:
A Storytelling Instinct Revels in Horror's Fun.

This latter in the New York Times. The right place to be.

Horror's fun?

DUSTIN

You may not be able to link this without paying but it is worth a try.

In the LA Times a great profile of Dustin Hoffman.

The writing is terrific and we learn a lot about the man:
Introspective and At Ease.

TEN

We are beginning to watch a collection of films by the Polish director Krzysztof Kieslowski.

It is a NYTimes Best 1176 'film' in the sense that the collection is under one title and concept:
Dekalog / The Decalogue (1988-89).

The collection (done originally for television) is a series of ten films, lasting about an hour. Each film is based on one of the Ten Commandments.

Yeh. Link it. I had to look myself.

The films are not religious so much as modern interpretations of the commandments in the personal lives of plain citizens.

There are many nice twists to these films. One is that they are all filmed in and around a large housing project/compound and many of the people in one film will appear here and there in the others. So there is community. There is continuity. Another is that there is a 'watcher' in all of them. He comes in a variety of ways.

Because they are done for television, there is an abundance of closeups. The color and imaginative use of everyday backgrounds and props make for a quiet intimacy.

Today we saw the first film which is rather obviously based on the first commandment: "Thou shall have no other gods before me".

I am not sure how to 'review' or talk about these individual films. We were deeply engaged with it today. It would appear that these are going to be secular meditations.

On its own it would be a 5 out of Netflix5.

VERNAL REDUX

Maureen and Dave returned to the vernal pool in Kingston MA (see below, last week) and took some more pictures. Here we have some indication of what all this 'pooling' is about. Two toads making eye contact. Bingo. Love at first sight!

I have another shot of a 'congress' of salamanders. It is pretty dark. Let me describe it. There is a lot of slither going on. The eggs all get fertilized and the gene pool gets quite diversified. I bet there is a lot of orgiastic fun going on too. At least I hope so. The wonders of nature.

I like that it is called the 'congress'. The sexual kind, of course, not the political kind. Although, maybe if the pols tried this, there would be less nastiness on the floors of both houses.

GUVERNATOR

You may have heard about our faded movie star governor. Sorry to show the emperor's clothes but there it is; or isn't, actually. The photo has been going the rounds. No pump, no star vehicles.

When Arnie got elected it was touch and go whether it was a total genius move by the electorate or the biggest bonehead mass hallucination that could have happened.

Some indication of which was signaled in Maria's interview on her 'best friend's' show Oprah. She said that she just wanted her man home with her and the kids and that politics has turned out to be all consuming. Duhhh, she is a Kennedy, ain't?. It should be noted that he is said to work only four days a week. That makes three days with Maria and the kids.

Next, Arnie withdrew his big plans to destroy CALPERS, one of the world's largest and most (liberally) influential pension plan/stockholder. He had already seen the activist chairman banished.

Now, we see that even more may be fading than the big muscle's reputation as a movie star. He might just be a one term governator.

This from the LA Times today. I know that all our readers across the country are just dying to know how the hummer-head is doing.

Governor Making a Quiet Retreat.

Well, none of us are quite what we used to be. But it is only about a year. Jeez.

CYBERPUNK

I have started reading William Gibson.

Somewhere I read that he is the natural (or un-natural) next thing to read after a thorough drubbing by Neal Stephenson.

I think I have been at NS for about a year now. The best of his work was Cryptonomicon and the Three Volume Baroque Cycle. I still have not read everything. There is some stuff he refers to as juvenalia.

To get my feet wet with Gibson, I am reading Neuromancer which, so far. is pretty good. I guess that means I will have to read all his stuff. Another year.

The first line: "The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel".

What's not to like?

BRAVURA

Today's NY Times Best 1176 Movie was The Dresser (1983).

This is Tom Courtney's film. He starred in the play and owns title role.

But, as in the story, without someone to dress, he has no one to work with or against.

Perfect balance is achieved as Albert Finney plays 'Sir'; the megalomaniac actor/director of a touring Shakespeare company. He is the dressee.

The machinery of great acting works together here. Both actors were nominated for Oscars.

Under the main story of the two men is a backstage story wonderfully drawn. The actors in the company provide great background; some comic, some equally tragic to the main action.

I really enjoyed this film and will give it a 5 out of Netflix5.

VOX POP

I wondered about this.

It is impossible to believe that, as part of the US delegation, Bill C. would want to be part of the huge security bubble or be held hostage to the whole no-contact, only freindly crowd stuff that the bushers have built.

Read this A Lovely Day For a Stroll: Bill Clinton in his element.

Ahhhh. Remember the old days when the President was really OF the people and actually came out to be with them. And don't give me any of the 9-11 security shit.

When it fits his political aims, junior gets out there. But don't have any tee shirts or bumper stickers that have a taint to them. And there is that 'loyalty' oath and the promise to spend some campaigning time and all.

I still get teary reading this kind of thing about Clinton. He is, of course, a tireless campaigner, but you cannot let it stop with that. People love him. He has that core honesty and love for the process that you cannot fake.

Take me. I am a cynical bastard and I do not cotton to many of 'them' at all. But, Clinton is my man. Let's amend that amendment and let him run again.

CROONER

The mockingbirds were out last night. They sing their hearts out to win the contest. Best song gets the ladies.

At this time of year they are on 24/7. When Franklin and I went out to pee this morning we were serenaded to a faretheewell. I whistled back. But no takers.

The mockingbird never or rarely repeats the song. He is an innovator. And he will mock a human whistle if you get it in the groove.

I say 'he' because the females mostly have a squawk. It is a nice feminine squawk but always the same and not alluring. At least to me. But I am of a different orientation.

The mockingbird is our most ubiquitous bird. They are aggressive and will run a raven away from their nests. They are friendly and are not easily spooked by humans or Airedales. They are great neighbors.

RECISION

If you look at the photo just below, you will see that laura is wearing some kind of head cover. I don't know how I could have thought that Ms. Stepford would be out of step that badly. But they are methodists.

Another thing about the picture. Wouldn't you love balloons over each of the heads telling us what they are really thinking?

I know the Big Dog is factoring the political odds of helping junior win over the rightie catholics versus getting in some good demo licks on the scene. They NEEDED to get him into it is how I see it.

It is interesting about how the least bi-partisan president has a way of getting Bill into the big pictures. Even if he puts Poppy with him to keep him under control, it is a big concession and a recognition of Slick's charismatic power. I love the grace with which Bill has done the chores the have given him and he comes out even more likable as a result. His 'favorables still beat the busher, this long out of office.

Oh yes. Balloons.

The pope is probably thinking about how all their protestant asses will burn in hell.

STIFF

In the TMI department today, we have this from the LA Times:
An Alternative to Embalming For Pontiff.

Actually, it answers a lot of questions that I had about the week long mourning orgy. What happens to the corpse as it is 'laid out' there for the million person walk-by? Not pretty according to this article.

This pope didn't want to be embalmed so they are pumping formaldehyde into the body every day. And so on.

Ghoulish? Macabre? Morbid? Yes. Idolatry? Probably but I am not a moral scholar.

Like the Python's dead parrot, the pope has gone on and on and will go on through today and then will be put into a three part box and put under.

There. All you ever wanted to know about dead popes and what happens to them.

Oh. There is a sad sidebar story about the guy whose family has embalmed the popes for damn near forever. He was not called for this one. Jilted.

HATS OFF

So, from the look of it, Laura B. didn't wear a hat when they went in to view the remains. What's up with that? Condi had a big wide brim straw. Didn't she tell the other woman in her bosses' life?

PAPAL FALLIBILITY

Here is Andrew Sullivan, a catholic, telling the truth about the deceased:

Last night on Hardball, I said what I think needs to be said. Under John Paul II (and his predecessors), the Roman Catholic church presided over the rape and molestation of thousands of children and teenagers. Under John Paul II, the church at first did all it could to protect its own and to impugn and threaten the victims of this abuse. Rome never acknowledged, let alone take responsibility for, the scale of the moral betrayal. I was staggered to see Cardinal Bernard Law holding press conferences in Rome this week, and appearing on television next to the man who announced the Pope's death. But that was the central reaction of the late Pope to this scandal: he sided with the perpetrators, because they were integral to his maintenance of power. When you hear about this Pope's compassion, his concern for the victims of society, his love of children, it's important to recall that when it came to walking the walk in his own life and with his own responsibility, he walked away. He all but ignored his church's violation of the most basic morality - that you don't use the prestige of the church to rape innocent children. Here was a man who lectured American married couples that they could not take the pill, who told committed gay couples that they were part of an "ideology of evil," but acquiesced and covered up the rape of minors. When truth met power, John Paul II chose truth. When truth met his power, John Paul II defended his own prerogatives at the expense of the innocent. Many have forgotten. That's not an option for the victims of this clerical criminality.

Now, can we have a little less of the weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth?

I KNOW

Just to tack on to the comments below; I know that all christians are not hapless pawns of their demagogue leaders.

For balance I submit: Where Are The Good Christians? ; another fiery sermon from Brother Mark Morford in the San Francisco Chronicle.

USA2DAY

You know when the mainstream publishes this kind of thing, it has to be a trend: Many wary of GOP's moral agenda.

I predicted over-reach. I would say hubris but that would be assigning an implicit heroic tinge to what is actually a combination of political whoredom and evangelical power and money grabbing.

Don't forget that every headline the pols generate ala Schaivo leads to tons of money for the grubbers who run the religious 'preacher' operations.

It is hard to know which side is the more cynical and manipulative; the politicians who bend over for the christers or the self serving leaders of the more naive fundies.

I have tried to stay above the fray for awhile but it is hard to resist noting that the chickens may be coming home to roost.

QUEER JESUS

Funny, I thought that he probably was! Twelve especially close male friends, all that. But the gay bishop says "no":

Bishop denies saying Jesus possibly gay.

How many fairies can dance on the head of a pin?

AIR GOOGLE

Yes, I know. There are other satellite maps. But this one is new: Google Maps. Type in your address (or someone else's). Click on satellite at the upper left. It is the best that I have seen so far. I think. You can't download the picture though.

FIXATION

Did I tell you that I live on a fixed income?

It is a line I use. I am surprised if you never heard it.

Of course, it is just a line. Everyone lives on a fixed income. Whatever you live on is fixed! For now. And most of us manage to spend right up to it and a bit beyond.

But really, nothing is fixed. Everything will change. For better or worse.

The fiction of this kind of 'fixed' thinking becomes important when I contemplate my IRA. I have quit adding to it, so I view it as fixed. Nonetheless, I keep waiting for it to increase. What a double bind.

The simple fact is that my bind is based on laziness.

My neighbor, Ben Stein (just down the road in Rancho Mirage) knows all about me and he wrote an op ed in the NYT about it:
Read Your Statements. Dump Your Losers. Take a Swim..

Ben is an economist, a writer, and a sometimes actor. A rennaisance man. What I like about his article is that it rocks me out of my laziness. And, I am up for the swim part.

To get the swim, I figured, I had a little work to do. So I jerked myself out of the fixed thinking thing. I went through his suggestions. First: Read my statements. Well, I do that. I have never caught an error but I sure know what is up and what is down.

Then he suggests really looking at the market prospects and consider finding stronger income strategies; not growth, like I have been. Too much risk there.

Net, net, I have to get realistic about my hopes that my IRA will grow. I will not rehash the market history for you. It is like life. Up and down and if you only look at the top line, mostly down.

I have been hoping that the much predicted cap growth market would arrive. The last months since the new year have shown me that the wait may be a long one.

Did I mention that I don't have a lot of time? The long view is beginning to shorten. I don't mean that I feel death's chill. Quite the contrary. But, when people talk about riding growth they better be looking at the looooooooooong term. Shit. By the time this market gets some growth I could be looking at a dwindled nest egg. Talk about fixed. Fixed on a downward spiral.

So it is time for a little tweaking. I am taking a third and putting it in a dividend intensive portfolio. That is what they call it anyway. The emphasis on more predictable income.

I looked at all the paper I had to sign and wondered if this is a good thing. Hell. I don't know. I do know that it is a different thing.

The third suggestion neighbor Ben makes is that I get rid of the dogs. I have held on some mutual funds that I bought years ago pre-dotcom bubble. Some worked; others tanked. I made the mistake of getting back end funds. You pay when you take them out. Not smart. So I will pay and they will be gone and the only dog I will have is Franklin.

Fourth, Ben says: "look for new market products". So I called my advisor, Sasha, and put a lot of the previous thinking to work. We are rearranging a third of the IRA to go into a more income oriented fund which is not exactly new but surely is new to me. I signed the papers today.

Don't get me wrong. I am not in jeopardy. I am comfortable; a little antsy but that is normal. The IRA isn't the only thing going. There is the real estate. Truth be known, I have made more money out of real estate than anything else in my whole life. And without trying.

Worse comes to worse we can always do the reverse mortgage gambit. The last refuge of the deluded stock and bond holder. Or sell the house. But that is way radical thinking now. When I think that way I start to think that the current bubble will break. But we are now in triple the original investment territory so the bubble could leak some air before we would get wet.

And finally, there is Social Security. The very last line of defense against the wolf at the door. Bushie ain't havin' any success screwing that one up.

Oh. Another thing I learned from Ben. In the midst of all this serious thinking he did something 'unwise'. He bought a house at the top of the market because he liked it. I gotta remember that. In the midst of all this financial angst I have to remember that what it is all about. To do what I like when I like the way I like. Not a bad goal.

Now, I am going to take a swim in the pool. The water temps today are up to 87-88 degrees. I think I will leave the cover off tonight again. The solar is pretty much in balance with the weather. I wonder if Ben is in his pool.