esrosedotblog

Never to late to send presents!

But it is not a big one like an "0" or a "5".

Just a kind of pedestrian "79".

But there is nothing everyday about that.

When I was younger, my cohort had a life expectancy of 73.

So I have beaten the odds, whatever they may be.

I have to report that none of the dire expectations that I had about old age have come true.

I am sentient. I am stable on my feet. I have a pretty good memory except for what you said five minutes ago. Wait a few more and I will remember that too.

I am in pretty good shape although it was a bit easier to decide to blow off the gym this week for a variety of reasons that would have not withstood scrutiny a while ago.

I promise to go back there Monday. I do.

There are no special plans that I know of. I asked specifically for a low profile day. Cake of course. Chocolate with vanilla icing.

I can still remember that was the routine when I was a kid.

For some reason the most vivid memory of a birthday is sitting at the head of the table in our first house with me in it and blowing out the candles. I can remember how the candles smelled, the icing tasted and for some reason I see it from another vantage point than my own.

I know it is not in the home movies I saw the other night. I do not think there is trauma involved.

Although it could be that it is 1945 and my Dad is not home from the Navy yet. Hard times.

All in all I have had a pretty good life. I have packed a lot of stuff in. So far.

I have not retired to the rocker yet. That used to be the fate of most guys in "the old days".

No one here will let me and we do not have one of those anyway.

Labels: birthdays, life

We had a long weekend visitor from Australia.

Son David has or is immigrating there to be with his wife Sharon and is making a swing back here to touch base at his work and with family.

It is a complicated process to become a citizen or to have a dual citizenship. But it is obviously worth the wait and the paperwork.

This took us off our routine for a few days which is welcome.

But getting back on track is a bit difficult.

As a start, I decided not to go back to the early gym this week.

After all, it is my birthday week as well.

Isn't that a good reason?

I do not know. But I do know that it is good to play hooky every once in awhile. The spell check did not want "hookey". There are still some surprises left in life.

Otherwise, things are pretty quiet. There are no meetings this week other than the usual. No special events except my birthday. That would be on Thursday.

Did I mention my birthday?

I will be 79. Or am. The start of my 80th year.

I am very pleased about that. Not just the fact that I am still alive but this long.

Most of us in my cohort are getting this time bonus. When I started out the life expectancy for me and my group was 72.

Hard work and clean living have raised the bar. The truth is that I did some heavy wear and tear but got through that.

Actually, I think our birth year group still have 73 as our time but I have pushed that out some.

So to celebrate, I am skipping the gym this week.

Kind of stupid huh?

One of the things that have kept me youthful and energetic and I drop a few days of it.

Don't worry, if you are. I am missing it already but I will stick to it until next Monday. Then, normal. Heading out in my 80th year. 79. Geez.

Labels: birthdays, visitors

Today is my birthday.

Ever year for 78 years. January 28th.

I am not quite sure how I got here. It wasn't what I intended.

For a long time I had no intentions.

Kids do not.

Then, I did have fantasies about being a wise old man, maybe 100.

But I met a lot of people that had this type of goal and they led very careful lives.

I am not the one to do that. Some phases of my life have been very uncareful.

Partly because for a long while I was protected with a mantle of denial and disbelief.

Never mind the details, but most young people, and I have met a few of those, do not dwell on the length or even the quality of life as an elder. The smart ones just live their lives to the fullest. The facts are that this wisdom recognizes the imminence of death at almost any point of time. Death is not just for the old.

That is it with the talk about life and death.

I have had a very good year. My health is very good. When it was not it has been fixed. Mostly medical science. Or giving something up. Or starting things up.

Mostly, I try to hang out with as many young people as I can. There are a lot of them. Some treat me as an elder and that is nice but I refuse any pedestals.

And so on. Ruminate.

Right now I am thinking about my cake which is the other half of the cake we had at John's birthday. An ice cream cake.

And there is a very tall thick package at the dining room table all festively wrapped. Not allowed to touch that.

Labels: birthdays

It has been a long time since I had a hangover.

The alcohol kind. 35 years.

But I am having a bit of hangover from the holidays. It is inescapable.

Even if I behave myself, others around me do not.

Or, even if they didn't get drunk, they participate in the festivities in such a way that they cancel other obligations.

This is not a complaint incidentally. I am happy to have the "time off" from the routine.

I am left alone to savor my serious joy at being out of the holiday season unscathed.

We had a nice christmas with some presents from others. We enjoyed John's birthday two days before. And, as usual, New Year's Eve was pretty much a non-event.

Now, let's get on with it.

Let's get ready for the really big day, my birthday on the 28th!

Labels: birthdays, holidays

There is a lot of noise out there about Christmas but they are all wrong about that day.

Sure, it is high on the list of anticipated events but it is nothing to the fact that today is my husband John's birthday.

Saddled with an impossible coincidence of dates many people take all this green and red and glitter to be for the C guy.

Not so. It is really a not so subtle celebration of all the birthdays that happen anytime and especially those that occur in December.

Look. Today is all about the birthday from start to finish.

Presents in the morning, singing the b-day song for a wake up call. General fawning.

There will be roast beef for dinner and a great cake.

This year, for the first time an actual ice cream cake!

WTF!

No horses have been spared in bringing the best.

There is someone else in the family, incidentally, who has their birthday on the actual biggest 25th day. So this is a rolling celebration.

Let it begin.

Labels: birthdays

BDAY TODAY

I am 76 today.

Questions from the crowd: Do you feel any different? No. Do you feel any older? No. Are you really 76? Yes.

You don't look it.

Ahhhhh. That is the reaction I was looking for.

In a few months I will be saying that I am 77 just so I can get that reaction.

If I looked like an old fart I would not do that.

I don't.

I look and feel just fine. Like always, more or less.

I have had times in my life when I felt a whole lot worse, believe me. And that wasn't that bad.

Nice to get the phone calls and cards.

Nice to have a special piece of coconut layer cake with boiled icing from Billy Reeds tonight. Just like my mothers only more lavish with one layer of custard and another layer of pineapple preserve inside.

We don't do gifts any more. If somebody wants something they buy it.

Happy birthday to me.

Labels: birthdays

DIAMONDS

Today is my 75th birthday. Diamonds.

I have a lot of calls and cards and happy birthdays face to face. Fifty? A hundred people? I went to a Meeting this morning.

A lot because I tell everyone it is my birthday and then they say that I don't look like it.

I don't.

It is a bit of a racket and it is a great experience. I have learned that if you don't tell people it is your birthday ON your birthday, every year, you won't get any wishes or attention. So I shout it out.

Besides, I say that I am the next year from about June on. So I have been "75" since then. In June 2012 I will be 76 in, well, maybe May.

But it won't have the buzz of 75. Somehow you need to be an aught or a five to get the most attention.

Of course after a certain age you get attention with every year. I am not there yet. I think you have to be at least 90 for that.

I am in pretty good shape. I have to hold onto the rail when I go downstairs. The knees. I dribble. The result of the radiation 15 years ago for my prostate. And age.

I may need cataract surgery sooner or later.

But let's not focus on those things. Although those are the only things, actually.

I go to the gym every morning and do an out of breath half hour on the bike. Weights on all the body parts, easy.

I am able to think clearly. A slight time delay like they do with live video. A blank spot in the mind film.

My attitude is optimistic and positive all of the time. Really!

I have the wisdom of older age. Knowing more when to mind my own business, be silent or let irritating stuff go.

I am never lonely or bored. Never ever bored.

Pretty good.

I am happy about my life and have no regrets. None.

Here we go. Another year ahead a day at a time. We have a President to re-elect. Lots of fun there.

Labels: birthdays, life

PARTY PARTY

We are going to a birthday party today.

80. A birthday girl.

I thought to myself, "how old"!

And then realized that Ruth has only six years on me.

OK.

We are taking Booker. He will be a distraction for the in between times that I have trouble with. I am good at the arrival and departure. It is the middle I have trouble with.

Walk the dog. Booker needed some air.

There is no food involved. Cake and coffee.

Then home.

I hope to be on the ground about an hour at most. Hopefully, less. We get there at 230, cake at 300, out on the road by 330. It is way out in the boonies.

Home in time for dinner and a short poop walk. Booker. I use the occasion to have Stouffers Pot Pies.

No work and lots of calories. Comfort food.

I got the large because the small seems too small.

We only have pot pies about once a year because they are so rich. But the one time. So good.

Sun today. Went to the pool. The party makes it a sort of fucked up day as far as my routine is concerned but I have framed it well.

Labels: aging, birthdays

SEVENTY THREE

Today. My birthday. 73. Write it out: Seventy Three.

OK. That's enough.

Have a good day.

I like people to recognize my birthday, cards and calls and such. But I draw the line at festivities and large scale operations. Gifts are out too.

This is not because I am unhappy that I am older. Shit. I am older. If I am going to be unhappy about it then I am resisting nature. Never a good policy.

On the other hand, it is, really, another day. I am special all the days that go by. Or not. The date I came into this universe is not such a big deal.

I think it makes other people happy to wish someone "happy birthday" or to send a card or throw a party.

I certainly take time to know all the birthday dates of my friends and enjoy sending them a card. I take particular care in picking out the card of the year.

Yes. I send everyone the same card. Why not?

If it is a good one and people don't start calling each other to discuss their cards, I see no harm in it.

It is a conservative gesture.

So, I see how it is fun to wish someone a happy day. I will indulge you in the same way others indulge me when I send them a card.

Let's see. Do I have any more thoughts about birthdays. Or my birthday?

No.

That is enough.

Thanks for your cards, calls and good wishes.

Labels: birthdays

DUDE HAVIN' HIS CAKE

I did the grocery shopping this morning and bought the standard bundt cake that I use for people who have birthdays at our Meeting. People I sponsor.

I got home and took the cake out of its bag and realized that it had a piece sliced out of it!

A very neat piece. Cut with a knife.

Well, I need the cake tomorrow so I took it back. Got another one. Went to the checkout where Lynda reigns in the morning. I just held the cut cake up. She nodded. I asked if she had ever seen the like. She just smiled and kept nodding.

Routine for them, I guess. It was really a kind of shocker to me. I even thought I might be seeing things. Or that it was a joke. Lynda putting it in the bag along with the real one just for the hell of it. I even thought, "maybe I could give this cake and no one would notice". A form of denial that one.

So strange.

I reconstruct it this way. The cake was outdated and someone in the bakery department cut a slice out before it got tossed. I didn't look at the date. It's possible.

Then someone else came a long, saw the cake and put it up on the display thinking that is where it belonged. Not too big a stretch.

Or, it made me think of the Dude in Lebowsky who gets a whole meal in the super market during the night just going around and taking food. I think the Dude would definitely cut a neat piece out of the cake.

Labels: birthdays, food, shopping

THE OTHER HOLIDAY

In our house, when anyone says "happy holidays", we think Christmas, New Years and my Husband's Birthday.

John was born on the 23d of December. Not good timing on his mom's part.

If you are born on Christmas (like my daughter) or New Years, everyone makes a special effort to segment the day and make some time for the birthday cake and presents.

The 23d gets swallowed up in last minute shopping and other holiday travails. An afterthought at best.

I caught on, early on, that the more precedence given to the Birthday, the more fringe benefit the precedencer would get in return. Or one would at least avoid the dire fallout of not remembering.

So we cut the 23d out of the other days. Everything is focused on the birthday boy.

Well, we don't take down the holiday decor, but we do make an effort.

Yesterday was multiple cards and a small cake with the favorite dinner. Always turkey based. Some form, some way.

It was a nice day.

Labels: birthdays, holidays

TIME MARCHES ON

I am not all that upset about my own age or aging.

I don't think about it much.

In fact, I am a bit proud of my age and, while I do not flaunt it, I do manage to bring up the fact that I "will be" 73 as often as I can.

That is like a setup for the other person to say that I don't look it. Which I do not.

But I was sobered yesterday by the fact that my eldest son hit the half century mark. 50 years old.

The number is somehow more awe inspiring than my own age. Can I say that it only seems like "yesterday" that he was born?

No, I really can't. Maybe the day before yesterday.

He is an army brat. He was born while I was serving my 6 months active duty after ROTC and so he is/was GI all the way. Government issue.

The care was very good because, at the time, there were a whole bunch of MD's doing the same thing I was. Serving truncated military service in exchange for longer reserve commitments.

The maternity ward was in a barracks type building. The delivery room had a window.

In those days (there I said it--"in those days"), the dads weren't allowed anywhere near the delivery room but I was about ten feet away looking in. The window was high but I could get good glimpses of the action.

I had to hurry back to the waiting room when I saw him (and I knew he was a "him") born because I knew they would be looking for me to announce the birth.

It was a summer in Petersburg VA, a hothouse, humid beyond belief.

We had no AC but I did buy one of those air cooler things that dribbled water down a bed of wood excelsior. (remember excelsior?)

It wasn't until I got here that I found that those things only really work when the humidity is way low. Anyway, it was a fan.

He was a birthday present for more than himself. Today would be his mom's birthday.

It was a great time and I would never do anything like it ever again, thank the gods.

So that is how it was fifty years ago when my first son was born. Quite a stirring event.

What is better yet? He turned out to be a really good guy.

Labels: birthdays

72

Yesterday was my 72d birthday.

I went to my Meeting and word had already reached the group. Lots of hugs and best wishes and the inevitable question, "How old"?

I love saying "72". I love it so much that I have been saying it for about 6 months.

I won't start saying "73" until about June.

I love being old. Does that make sense to anyone else? It even seems a bit weird to me but that is how I feel.

I revel in my age.

That might have something to do with the fact that I am way healthy. No pills to speak of and no "conditions" to worry about.

I keep a low profile on the celebration. I asked for "nothing" so John made an empty box out of a nice set of cards.

I did ask for the coconut cake (boiled icing) from Billy Reed's (local restaurant of long standing) for dessert. We never have dessert.

John got these candles to put on top. Nice. Mine were black and white.

I bought a barbecue chicken for dinner just so I wouldn't have to cook and also because I love it but wouldn't normally buy it. Too fat. Dark meat.

But I tempered that with a salad.

I had a lot of phone calls and emails during the day. Nice.

And then it was over.

Did I tell you? I am 73!

Labels: aging, birthdays, life

THE HOLIDAY

For some, the holiday looms ahead.

In our house, the holiday has already passed.

Yesterday was John's 70th birthday and it was a nicely orchestrated extravaganza.

No one actually orchestrated it but it had the aura of a performance nonetheless.

A parade of friends, FedEx men, postal workers, florist delivery people as well as phone calls came in a regular cadence. Flowers, gifts, messages of love. Even a bunch of balloons while we were having cake and ice cream. Talk about perfect timing!

Inside the house we had two best friends visiting to give a bit of human mass to the birthday dinner (roast beef and oven roast potatoes) as well as the cake and a lightly sung "happy birthday".

There were some neat gifts.

Good tidings.

This morning another beautiful tropical flower display. I wish the weather matched it.

Of course, I am just an observer but I think that he had a pretty good time. I think yesterday's events were unexpected, in a way, because the biggest event was his trip to Italy. This serial celebration was icing on the cake, so to speak.

I had a good time too. I get to smell the roses and play with the gifts!

I realized today that I have a husband who is 70 years old.

I told him recently that it had never occurred to me that I would end up married to a 70 year old man.

We think like that.

I never expected to be a 70 year old man myself. I must say that being one has been rather nice. Painless. An easing into the unexpected.

I think that most of us realize throughout our lives that we will continue to age and then die. This is just a superficial awareness. The actual experience comes as a, so far, gentle surprise.

So here we are. Two guys who made it this far and have so much more to see and do.

What a wonderful time of life!

Labels: aging, birthdays

CENTURY

My dad was born one hundred years ago today.

Imagine.

In 28 years I will be the same age.

There is not a day that goes by without some thought of him.

He was a great guy. Still is!

We always had fun with the fact that he was born on St. Patrick's Day.

He would always get the cards that had the two 'holiday's' together. "Ah, top o' the mornin' to ya' and a happy birthday too".

He didn't mind sharing the day.

I will be thinking of him more than usual today I suppose.

I have a bunch of photos close at hand to stimulate my thoughts.

But the mind's eye is the most accurate camera. Drawn from life. I can see him smiling.

Labels: birthdays, family

99

Today is my father's birthday.

We would be 99.

A nice round number.

I miss him.

He is here every day. I know that I have some of his stuff.

I can see it in my kids.

He influenced a lot of people.

When he was a kid he had to quit school in the 8th grade and go to work.

That is what most boys did then.

He made up for his lack of education in many ways.

He learned his math and writing and eventually became a manager of a food market for A&P.

He joined the Navy in WWII when he was 'too old' and didn't have to and learned about the world and life and death and the horrors of war on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans as a radar man on a destroyer-escort.

He got wounded.

He came home and brought the War with him for awhile but eventually he and it calmed down.

He had the wisdom of living.

He took every bit of experience and distilled it into the moment when he needed to say or do any particular thing.

He was a member of the school board. He gave me my diploma when I graduated from High School.

He was on the volunteer ambulance crew. He had some great and grisly stories to tell about that.

You would be amazed what people will call an ambulance for!

Well, maybe not.

We struggled the father-son thing like everyone else and eventually love won.

A good ending to any contest.

I was able to be with him at the end, to let him go and to say goodbye.

Well, I thought it was goodbye. But it was not.

Like I said. He is still here. I have a few pictures of him near my desk. I get to say hello on a regular basis.

It was a family joke that he was born on St. Patrick's Day.

We are all krauts. German to the core.

I would always try to find the one or two St. Patrick's Day birthday cards in the drug store.

So, today it isn't just hello. It is "top o' the mornin' to ya'" and "Begorrah" whatever that means and "Happy Birthday"!

Labels: birthdays, family, fathers

OH

It is Lincoln's birthday too but we have always celebrated that.

The City of Palm Springs offices are closed today for Abe.

You can bet your ass that they will be closed for the rest of the Presidents next Monday too.

Awful.

Labels: birthdays, civic pride

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Charles Darwin—February 12th, 1809

He was 22 when he went sailing on The Beagle.

He published Origin of the Species in 1859.

It sold out immediately!

Labels: birthdays, monkeys