esrosedotblog

GOPHER IT

I told you before: we let Franklin decide which way to go on walks. I have figured that there are about ten possible general routes with hundreds of permutations and combinations along the way.

Out of all these options, we seem to end up at Gopher City more often than any other site. It is an afternoon-only option. The gophers appear to be at rest in the AM; it is Palm Springs after all; sleepin' in. We can travel any number of routes; but some part of the walk, at some time in the sequence of options, he will get us back to the gophers.

Full Disclosure: Let me stipulate that these are possibly ground squirrels (62 different species) and not gophers (65 possible species). There is a tail but not a very long one (squirrel). I have not gotten close enough to know if there is a cheek-pouch (gopher). I am certain that they are not prairie dogs--too small and this is not a prairie. I have chosen the gopher designation because it sounds better. Who wants to be squirrelly when you can gopher it.

Franklin starts to get excited a half block away. He thrums with energy and all the progress I have made on 'stay with me' goes down the mental drain: gophergophergopher. I can get him to slow down and creep in the hunter position; but that is the best compromise I can get out of it. We cross the street, headed for the huge section of desert where the gophers live. You can hear them talking to one another: "cheep cheep". They are probably telling one another that the Airedale is coming with his human on the other end of a rope.

We creep round the bushes that screen the street and there they are! Gophers running; gophers standing at their holes; gophers grazing on near invisible desert grass. Franklin goes into deep hunt mode: ass in the air and nose to the ground. I stand tall. He does not run. Neither do I. I go into an alpha wave/zen zone thing. Walk and breathe. Stay with the pooch. We have gotten as close as five feet to a real live gopher.

We never ever get closer and we never ever 'get' how the gopher can disappear so quickly. And, I do mean 'we', us, me included. I sort of see the flash into the ground but it is really magic when it happens. It is so different. Rabbits run as far as they can non-stop; distance is their 'answer'. Cats tease, spit and then go over a wall. Ravens (almost his size--the best prey of all) flutter and fly in a series of little teasing leaps. Quail skitter and chirp and run in as many directions as there are quail. Gophers disappear.

It is a mystery. We stand and look around. Almost always, as we look, another gopher rears its head out of a hole twenty or thirty feet away. You can see Franklin furrow his brow: "How do they do that"? Now, I know it is not the same gopher. Is it? No. It couldn't be. You mean there is only one?

And we are on to the next hunt; get up and do it again. Eventually, this exercise in futility loses its allure and we move on to the next project or go home for supper. But, for awhile, Gopher City is the balls.

NOTE: From time to time ads appear across the top of the blog page. This is how I get to have all this web-space at no cost. Occasionally, there are ads for the re-election of George Bush. You gotta know this is outta my control, right? It is kind a funny that the ads are up there and down here we are doing all we can to de-prez the guy.

BIG FISH(2003)

Yesterday's movie was the big kind; in a real movie theater; Tim Burton's BIG FISH. It is quite a 'catch'. I enjoyed it. Billy Crudup is the son dealing with his story-telling Dad: Albert Finney (the elder) and Ewan MacGregor (the younger). Jessica Lange is his Mom: Jessica Lange (the elder) and Alison Lohman* (the younger). All of them are superb and wonderfully young/old look-alike.

Dad tells wild, fantastic 'fish tales' about all aspects of his life. Son figures he has never heard the truth. It is time to find out the real story. Burton endows each 'fish tale' with his unique imagery; beautifully wrought magical realism. The story and the movie maker are a perfect match. The music is great. The ending is sublime; there are two of them. This FISH is a 'keeper'. It is still swimming around in my head. If it was a Netflix I would give it a 4.

* Alison Lohman is from Palm Springs and got her break in WHITE OLEANDER

THOSE SINFUL FAGGOTS

Nice opinion piece in the Atlanta Journal Constitution today seeking to reduce the world's idiot factor.

Marriage Ban Protects Hate Not Marriage.

HEAT

So it looks like, with everything to gain and nothing to lose, Dean is getting hot on his best shot: "the Democratic wing of the Democratic Party". The LATimes has a nice feature on it this morning. See Dean Maintains Fiery Tone.

And while you are at the LATimes, take a look at this one. They are finally letting Bill Clinton do what Bill Clinton does best. If only Gore had seen it. Citizen Clinton Takes the Hill . Gore was so lame. Still is. Keep him away from Dean. Let Neel carry the mail.

And, one more, since you had to register to get into the LATimes anyway (and ask it to save your password while you are at it--it is a great paper, far surpassing the BoGlobe) take a look at this one. This will feel good no matter WHO your Demo candidate is: Iraq War Questions Gain Momentum. The Bushers feel the heat. They are actually on the defensive for the first time in a very long while.

Awwwww. Let's give one to the Globe anyway; something for the good old days. Jim sent us heads up on the following. If you are tired of the punditocracy, try this one: Dear Voters You're Fired.

RATS

The cute mice just became the nasty rats.

Sure, we were interested in getting the vermin out of here; but somehow the objects of our disaffection were not 'the enemy'. We have rebooted our program.

Suddenly, there are scratchings in the walls, stolen dog food, comings and goings that are driving Franklin nuts. None of the traps have been 'taken'; the nice humane looking ones from DeCon (well they still kill, you just cannot see the body).

The Terminix termite guy was here for the annual inspection and he came in to report; no termites but plenty of signs of rats. He said, while it was not his 'business', the only thing was the big wooden trap and lots of them. I also gave in and realized that keeping the dog's food in 'bare' bags was not a good idea either. Duuuhhh. What else would reward the rats for coming inside and then looking all over the house for more more more?

Oh did I mention that last night when I went out to the garage refrigerator a little rat jumped off the shelf over the fridge, bounced off my arm, and took off for parts unknown? That did it.

So.

There are a bunch of real traps set. There is a big GI can for the dog food to sit in. There are no dead bodies yet but there is a wary scrambling. We shall see. Franklin is still muttering and whining but we promise early relief.

HOOPS

The other day, I reached to my left ear and my stud was gone. Gold. Mine. Gone. I reacted with a sudden feeling of loss and incompletion; the empty ear syndrome.

After a short period of grieving, I wondered if this was a 'sign' that it was time to drop the ornamentation. You know, the old magical thinking; that a higher power could give less of a shit whether I wear an ear ring or not. But when you live in the land of self absorption, as I can sometimes do, there is no end to the interest that the gods can take in one's daily affairs.

I did not replace the stud. It was my birthday. I am 67. Isn't it time to give it up? After all, am I not the first to denigrate those who dress 'too young'? On the other hand, I earned this stud; this hoop; whatever goes in the hole there in the lobe. I pondered. I stewed. I fingered the empty space.

Today, John called me from the bathroom. He had stepped on something in the shower, picked it up, and it was my stud. Wow. Another sign. This means that I should wear the stud! It is a bit hard to figure actually. If losing it was a sign, and getting it back was a sign; then, what is the meaning? Too much metaphysical confusion. I went and put a hoop in my ear because that is harder to lose.

That is the message: Studs fall out; hoops do not. A smaller, less cosmic instruction; but there it is.

I have had a pierced ear since about 1972. Back then it was rather daring for guys in the mainstream to have ear-rings; but I was trying way hard to move out of the mainstream. I just didn't want to go too far out. But I did have the hair; (see below) so what the hell.

Even more daring, was the urban legend that the side pierced indicated sexual preference; gay boys on the left; all others on the right. I 'dressed left'. I was to find later the side thing was not true. Hours of fixating on other men's ears and correlating with their known or probable sexuality told me so; or there were a lot of sadly misinformed straight boys.

My first stud was one of those wobbly ones that enlarges the hole as it heals. I wore it with a good deal of self consciousness as, it was (for me anyway) a declaration of my stand on homo-erotics; it was way big, all dangly-like, fake gold looking; OBVIOUS.

I was up for a joint workshop with Dave in Texas and I remember sitting in the back of the room (one was often sidelined working with Dave's clients--that's another story); happy not to be in the spotlight but totally certain that I was in it anyway (earmeearmeearmeear). Nevertheless, I had made it through a whole day with the clients and I do not think anyone peeped. I even did a smidgeon of stand up. No staring.

Dave insisted on going to a stripper bar at the end of that day. His car rental, his clients; it was OK with me. I didn't want to look at the 'girls' but I was drinking then and after the client-day probably needed it; why not? As we got out of the car it hit me. I was carrying my new look into the lion's den; a bunch of bikers and cowboys; left-pierced, wobbly-studded, long-haired faggot walks into Texas stripper bar.

Actually (other than the strippers of course) everyone had on the equivalent of a grey suit; looked down at their drinks (the strippers were pretty bad) and appeared way too repressed and shy to even notice anyone else attending the service let alone me and my big ear stud. But, it is the process that is important. I walked the walk.

That trip was my hardening process; a 2-punch experience; clients and non-clients. After that, it did not matter what or when or how I had anything stuck in my ear. I never looked back until this week; but that was just cosmic confusion; a temporary insanity. I am hooped again.

OK

Skip this if you don't want to hear anymore politix stuff.

newerEvidently it is Botox. See this devastating review of Kerry's stump performance in Slate.

newRobert Reich riding out of the past in the The New York Times telling us about the Dead Center. We need to be a bit wary of his specifics, though. He fesses up to be advising Kerry. In this piece, Reich cogently reviews why (and a bit how) the Demos have to reinvent themselves and reject the professionals who have held the Party hostage since Clinton left office.

In Salon this morning: Dean Goes Bust. A little early to say so, but stil,l the money is gone and so is Trippi.

Also in Salon (they are hot today) Sydney Blumenthal writes about the rest of the crowd The Democrats Find Their Voice; showing things on the grander, get Bush out scale.

And it is getting so that Andrew Sullivan (click on link at right) is as pro-Dean as I am. Hard to believe, but here he is today:

[Dean's] concession speech was easily the best of the night. It was authentic, uplifting, and red meat to the Democrats. It actually rang true to me as Dean's real view of the world. It isn't one I entirely share, to say the least, but it is genuine, represents a lot of people in this country and deserves a hearing. He seemed more affable than recently as well. He smiled more. He spoke more calmly but not ineffectively. He's real. Kerry is so fake, in contrast, I cannot believe that Democratic primary voters will continue to support him in such numbers. Dean gave arguments. Kerry spoke in packaged Shrumisms[*]. Dean has a vision. Kerry has ambition. If I were a Democrat, I'd vote for Dean over Kerry in a heartbeat. To my mind, this is a battle between the Democratic party's soul and its fear. The exit polls showed how Kerry won by seeming more electable - thus trashing an old golden rule of American politics. But the more you see of Kerry the less appealing he is. I'm not sure he really is less electable than the dreary Kerry. Maybe Dean needed this early drubbing to make him more tolerable as a candidate. Maybe it's too late and Kerry is way too far ahead to be caught. I don't know. All I know is that what I saw in Dean's speech - and the extraordinary crowd that accompanied it - was more authentic than anything I have ever seen Kerry say or do. That must count for something.

[*]Shrumisms? From The Guardian: Kerry won a significant battle before the primary race even began by luring the Democrats' most celebrated speechwriter and political manager, Robert Shrum, from the Edwards camp. The contest for Mr Shrum's services was seen as so vital among Democrats it became known as the "Shrum primary".

Professional Democrats.

DOGGED

Today's film (well, yesterday's film actually--a great birthday flick):

MY LIFE AS A DOG (1985-Sweden).

What a wonderful film. Funny, sad, teary, happy. I don't know how we missed it the first time around. Maybe we thought it was a 'dog picture'--Old Yeller, like that. No. It is a human picture. Warm, nurturing, kinda nutty people enfold a boy into their family and town after a sad crisis in his life. It is all good. It shows rather than tells about the boy and his transformation, about the family and people who take him in, and all the stuff of rural Swedish life. It is one of those movies that are so good they defy description and make this paragraph lame indeed.

It is Lasse Hallström's career starter: GILBERT GRAPE, CIDER HOUSE RULES, CHOCOLAT. That guy.

I gave it a five out of NetFlixfive. And it is one of the NYTimes Best Thousand (in the 20th Century).

CAMPAIGN FUN

Today's fun sites are The Onion: Bush 2004 Campaign Pledges To Restore Honor And Dignity To White House
and
The Drudge Report: Kerry's Changing Faces.
Gotta move fast on this last one as it is growing hourly. I am sure he will keep the before and after pics up though.

67

Note: this entry is progressive throughout the day. Each time I thought it was over. No.

Well, I made it. I have been telling people that I am 67 for about 6 months; so it is nothing new. I will work ahead like this as long as they ooooh and ahhhh and say that I do not look a day of it.

As I wrote this, John snuck up (it's 4:15AM) and whisper/sang Happy Birthday into my ear all spooky-like. I nearly went off the chair. Franklin leaped up at the noise and jumped onto my lap; a face lick.

They had a big hello thing at the gym when I got there. That was nice; grand stairs--cardio on the second--gotta walk up 'em. I get to the first landing; faces the weight area; there are the guys arrayed around the bottom: "Happy Birthday". Nice. I asked about the cake. Joe said Caesar (about 25 tall and beautiful) was the cake. I kept walking. Caesar made sure to connect with me later. I told him it was OK. He could take it all figuratively. We laughed. It is very nice to be flirted with at any age; but there is more gratitude as one goes along the time-line.~smirk

A LOT of eCards. A revolution. Print is over. Then more real cards at home.

I got some nice phone calls and machine messages in the afternoon from the Grandkids. Thanks guys!

That's it. Not a lot of drum roll and flourish. That is enough surprise for the day. Onward and upward. Soon, I can start telling people that I am 68. "Ooooohhhh, you look so much younger"! Ahhhhh.

NEXT?

What to think? What to do? If Dean had done worse than he did; we would see the sad end of a brief comet. If he had done better; I would be sending more money. As it is, he is sitting in second gear and the only hope is next week and the bailout of some other candidates who would open the pool of available new votes. The punditeers and the spinners are all over the media this morning. Muddle.

I was saddened to read this AP headline "Dean Keeps Cool After N.H. Primary Loss". They have cooled him out and lost the fire. The DianeSawyer effect has crept up on him; they made him go get Judith and hold her hand and take on the sappy nonsense that makes the other guys look so empty. See Spousal Abuse in The New Republic. (This is the first time I have recommended a reading the second time).

The media is a problem for Dean. It is not commentary, of course, but NBC was still showing a clip of the Iowa rant right before last night's cooler concession. " Howard Dean wore a jacket--buttoned to the top button--and was temperate". Geeeeeeez. Hang the kick-me sign on him guys. When does this sort of crap stop? They didn't do a clip of Clark's daily gaffs or Lieberman's snorer or Kerry's zombie walk.

Dean wants it enough to sell out some to get it. It may be too late. Co-opted by the professional Demo's? Not really. Just the effect of the unified 'anyone but Dean' campaign. There are those who want the status quo even if it means waiting out the Oval Office until 2008. Yes. Even some Demos can be that cynical. Some of us cannot wait that long.

Ruminating today.

And Kerry does not come off so much like Herman Munster as Lurch.

BELOW PAAR

I feel like I grew up with Jack Paar. He had THE late night teevee show. He came between Steve Allen and Johnny Carson. Paar had great guests. He was funny. He was very touchy and even walked off the set during a show; in pique with NBC. Balls; convictions and courage to go with them.

He died today. I had a twinge. I thought I'd mention him. His New York Times Obituary is wonderfully written and apt. Maybe you will have a twinge too but you would have to be nearly as old as I to remember him. Here is a tribute in the Washington Post Giving the Talk Show a Good Name.

He had a lot of influence on me. You can't sit and watch so much of someone without internalizing it; an hour a day. I was in my early twenties. He had a five year career. It was kinda sad. I don't think anyone saw it that way at the time. It's teevee; people come; people go; five years is a long time.

Shows like his ruined teevee for me. I thought it would always be that way; spontaneous, interesting. Even the wrestling shows were better then. It got unwatchable later. Still is; so I don't. Ever.

Just for the record, I didn't give it up all indignant like. It just happened. The moment of truth came in 1997. We were renting an apartment for a year between Boston and Palm Springs. We had hung our art and gotten the rental furniture in. The cable-guy came. He looked for the cable box. It was under the biggest, most bolted-to-the-wall painting we had. We told him we wouldn't take it down for the teevee. We didn't. We were as surprised and nonplussed as the cable-guy. A year later, we moved to PS thoroughly de-toxed; never called the cable company. Seven years; haven't 'looked' back. Actually by the time we let it go, I was only watching CNN and a few other news things; the Weather Channel. The 'net took over in those departments.

SLEUTH (1972)

Todays movie; detective writer seeks revenge on wife's lover and tables are turned.....never mind. I don't know how we stuck ourselves with this one. It is all 'film'-flammery and obviously a vehicle for the aging Lawrence Olivier; over the top and into the final stages of building the estate. Michael Caine walks the plank; musta' done it for the money luv. He says that he did a lot of films strictly for the cash and is sorry for it. This must be one of them. A sorry one out of Netflixfive for this scenery chewer. We should have known, eh what? It was our money they took! That is the ultimate table-turn.

A younger Olivier shown here will be seen later as we dig into the best 1000. We are still working on our first flush choices for the Netflix cue.

SOFTENING UP

Here is Andrew Sullivan and why I like him on the efforts to soften Dean. See Spousal Abuse in The New Republic. I am right there with you Andrew.

WAIT

Here we go again. And this is just the beginning.

Dead heat for three or four. But, I think this is the end for Lieberman. That is a relief. He is so tedious.

I am hoping for Dean to pull it out. I am realistic. They do not want heat. The problem is there is not a lot of light. As far as I can see Kerry has sunk back into his Munsterisms. Edwards is a one note semipopulist haves against the have nots spellbinder on the stump. I do not think that there is any there there.

Well, we wait. The primary almost always makes the man. We can also hope.

Amusing that while this is going on, Kaye and Cheney seem to be going against each other in the WMD wars. I read that they put Cheney on the road to humanize him before the election.

In a word: HA!

Did you notice that I have added a click-on for email on the right? Comment? Re-rant? Feedback? Hello? Just mouse on over and give a hit.

CUTTING EDGE

I have been letting my hair grow since last September. I had been an every-three-weeks "#2 metal-no-taper" head-shave guy.

This is not the first time. I let my hair grow in the late 60's and early 70's. Everyone did. Then, I got it cut short for work. The client environment got conservative again in the 80's. They didn't want countercultural anymore. Business considerations trumped social conscience.

I let it grow again around 1990; adopted a pony tail. That time, I cut it when I found a lot of hair falling out. I was told that 'less was more' when it came to pattern baldness. This is not true actually. Less is less, period; but I bought into the theory. I think I was also tired of walking around with a kids' braid in my hair. I never learned how to use the leather tie someone gave me. Besides, my baby hair doesn't make much of a tail. Structural failure.

Some people ask 'why are you letting your hair grow'?; as if there is a rational answer. People generally ask pretty stupid questions. What they mean is that they don't like it. I muddle through with a sort of 'just because' reply. Truth: I have to admit it's about getting attention. I got my first buzz in Ninth Grade (14/homo-puberty). I just did it and let the parents have their own reaction; a big first step out from under. I got a lot of comments from other kids--older boys who I had eyes for--Ron Dougherty. I felt avant garde. I was at the beginning of a 'wave' (heh heh).

Since then, I have timed my style changes judiciously; getting a jump on the culture and garnering some attention. No exception now. Noticed how close cuts and shaves have dominated for awhile? Aren't you tired of it? Aren't they? It is a lot of work to shave your head every day. I predict a swing to the hairy side again. Cycles. I am in the vanguard.

'Letting it grow' is not easy though. You don't just sit there and let it happen. It takes a while to get the hair right as it grows out. There is the first period of constant mirror looking. Then, once I had something, using the brush to cultivate whatever wave is possible with the scant new growth. I inherit my Dad's wavy but not wiry hair. Yeh. I suppose there is a Dad thing in there too, like everything else. Next is the 'adolescent' phase--the wave gets all gawky and wild like. It is 'necessary' to wet-curl it under with the comb. Finally, it's long enough (down to my lower nape now), that I do not have to tweak it. I wash it, slap on some gel, and comb it straight back and down; towards the center. It curls nicely as it dries and looks pretty good. The gel gives the baby hair some consistency.

I do go to the barber occasionally to get the 'do' looking good on the sides; 'shaped' she calls it. I have had the sides trimmed about three times. Now the sides are shorter than the back. I just realized that I have a MULLET; sides short, back long, top cut low (in this case nature has done the top job).

The mullet is not just a big fish. The term Mullet (hair context obviously) traces back to the 1967 prison film Cool Hand Luke, starring Paul Newman and George Kennedy, in which Kennedy's character refers to Southern men with long hair as "Mullet Heads".

In case you are confused, you can take a look at Mullets Galore which has a great compendium; hundreds of mullet types (click on Classifications). Another great mullet site is Mullet Madness; a bit more academic and serious; including news flashes from the around the mullet world. Then there is Mullet Junky which has a very conservative and classic view of how a mullet should be conducted.

So this is a new thing; but it is an old thing too. Mullets have been around all the time; not just in trailer parks and/or in the south; but in little, unique, demographic cul de sacs; a greater society linked by its common 'roots'. It has always been there, waiting for its moment. I am on the 'cutting' edge of mullet-dom.

CROUPIER(1999)

Today's film starring Clive Owen. We both like him; but John just melts. This is a good film about obsession and double personality and gambling and..........well it is just a very good film.

We saw it awhile ago and wanted to see it again and it did not spoil either over time or on the second viewing. This is a four out of Netflix five.

DISUNION

Andrew Sullivan today:

BUSH'S SOTU SLUMP: More evidence that his uninspired SOTU hasn't helped him: Newsweek shows the president slumping back to 50 percent approval ratings. More interesting, Bush is in a statistical tie with Kerry, Edwards and Clark. Of course, these are early, early days; and Rove hasn't unleashed his torrent of negatives against Kerry. But I have the feeling that the Republican leadership think they have another 1988 on their hands. I'm not sure they do. Kerry isn't Dukakis and the old Finklestein liberal-bashing seems tired to me and to many others. Another interesting nugget" the liberal base seems more fired up than the conservative base - 47 percent strongly want Bush defeated, versus 37 percent who strongly want to see him re-elected. I guess a major anti-gay push is now in the works at the White House. On the bright side: it's going to be a fascinating campaign. And, er, I'm not yet ready to write Dean off. It's painful to watch him re-clothe himself as a fiscal conservative. But they sure are a more appealing political couture to the Independents of New Hampshire.

Also, dispiriting is Dean's slippage. I get it and accept it; but I don't have to like it.

CHANGES

New route for the bike ride this morning; thought to take a page out of Franklin's book; take each corner with my nose in the air, instinct turned on. I ended up on a very long uphill drive--straight as an arrow to Vista Chino, the beginning of the desert wind zone; then returned down Palm Canyon through the Village.

I don't get through the village slowly much any more. We do not walk the street as tourists, nor do we go down much, of an evening, to see the lights and the sights; jaded living in a tourist destination. It changes a little each time I do go; but not a lot over time. Provincetown was like that. It could be radically different at the micro-level and not feel changed from the overview. Same buildings; similar objectives of the retail market keep the feel in line.

They are talking about a one-mile-square 'entertainment zone' around the new Casino. 'They' being the local Tribe (who owns the casino) and the City. We are of a mixed mind about it. The City has to grow or it will go backward. When we first came here the Village was a disaster area; half closed. Now, it thrives. A lot of work has gone into rebuilding it; good developers and a committed city. Gambling--they call it 'gaming'--gave added traffic; but you have to have something for the traffic to do and 'gamers' are not multi-taskers. You gotta make it attractive, and it is.

On the other hand we do not want it to get too big; whatever that means. Like I said, we do not go down there a lot anyway. I think it means my resistance to change. The work of the Tribe, so far, has been ultra high quality. They did rehabbed a classy fifties hotel building, for example, rather than tear it down. We will not get to vote anyway. It is all Tribal land and they can do what they want--sovereignty. It is good for them to seem to be asking though.

MacBIRTHDAY

I am celebrating the Mac's birthday with a copy of an email from Dave.

Today is January 24th, 2004. On January 24th, 1984, a new personal computer called the Macintosh was sold for the first time. 20 years. And the first Mac I ever used was yours! The big thing I remember about it was the sounds. PCs just made these pathetic beeps. There was some kind of adventure game you had that made actual sounds. Wow. I have (for better or worse) become a mac fanatic. Every day I read 3 or 4 web sites that cover macs. I watch all of Steve Jobs keynote speeches on the web. It is a little pathetic. But, I still say "Happy Birthday, Mac!".

It is nice when the next generation carries on in the same religion that I have. I believe in Mac. Here is the first meeting of the newly devoted; held at, of all places, a Super Bowl game:
THE FIRST macMERCIAL!

I have to admit that I do not share the level of devotion that Dave does: attendance at services; reading the tracts and literature; following the wit and wisdom of our leader Steve.

I am more of a practitioner in the belief system. For example, I had the faith to build a desk-top publishing business around the Mac back when it was not clear whether Mac would make it or not. We did and they did.

I still have the newest Mac that I can get every two years (or sometimes less) so I am giving my share to the cause; even in retirement. That is sort of like a tithe in other beliefs.

I love my Macs; one Titanium G4 lap and a 1GHz Power G4 eMac (and another eMac for John)--my Mac that is three of 'em. They still make better sounds and will kick any PC ass, on any day, that they have to. Higher powered indeed.

Happy Birthday.

MOUSING

Let me put it this way. Don't use the glue strips to catch your mouse. It is not good for the mouse; nor the person who has to remove it mid-struggle; nor the dog whose breeding dictates that mice be prey (glued in place or not). And, let's not forget the husband of the remover who gets up at 4AM to monitor the struggle and take the dog out during the removal process. And so on. The guy at the hardware store was right; glue strips do not work.

Last seen, the mouse, less some hair, was sailing over the wall in a white towel wrap used to extract him from the situation. It must have been a soft landing, as there was no body when the towel was retrieved. Somewhere there is a lucky little mouse, less some hair, who has a story to tell his friends and loved ones.

Happy ending. Now, should we get the mechanical trap? Or do the humane trap thing? To be continued.

9QUEENS

Movie of the Day (2000). Argentinian Mamet. A nice table turner that I had seen before and could not 'remember' the end; it is that good at conning the audience into believing the now you see it now you don't and looking at the bunny instead of the hat; all that. Very enjoyable.

There seem to be only about five actors in Argentina and so the films that are made there are done in a rep company manner. This film plays as an ensemble picture and that 'feel' only enhances the result of the cons on both levels; the film cons and the audience cons.

Oh. The 9 queens in question are not what you might think; they are rare stamps.

I gave it a 4 on the 5max Netflix scale.

DEPTH?

In today's NYTimes, David Brooks writes about Kerry's Good Intentions. Just as I thought.

SURPRISE?

David Kay, the retiring Iraq weapons inspector, says there weren't any; Iraq Illicit Arms Gone. The White House says there were. It is a little embarrassing; the big Dick is overseas pissing the allies off again; defending the US' decision to do Iraq without any international support.

Is there something about pride-blindness here? How about letting go and getting on with it. Get done and get out.

STRAP-ON

I like this:

"When Air National Guard absentee George W. Bush dressed up in [Tom] Cruise's 'Top Gun' costume and used the USS Abraham Lincoln as a giant, nuclear-powered strap-on, that was as brazen an exhibition of cross-dressing as there's ever been."
-- Author Mark Simpson, who invented the word "metrosexual," writing at Salon.com, Jan. 5.

KLINGONS

Take a look at Boondocks from 1/23. Exactly!~smirk

NIKITA


Today's film was LA FEMME NIKITA (1990)--a great Pygmalion story; sorta turned upside down. Anne Parillaud's Nikita is astounding; a transformation from the toughest of the tough to a whole (more or less) individual in the few years we spend with her.

There is a bit of Faust, a dash of the Dirty Dozen, and enough capers to keep the great music thrumming. It is fun, violent and scary. There are even some teary moments; tender, sweet.

I gave it a 4 out of 5 for Netflix. Oh. Nikita is not named after Kruschev. It is the name of the 'girl' in Elton John's Ice and Fire. It has nothing to do with the story, but sure makes a nice sound when she spits it out at people.

CHAIN REACTION

There is no denying that Dean is in a bad place right now. The blowup from his post-caucus speech is phenomenal. I think that it is the one thing that 'they' were waiting for and he gave it to 'them'.

Who are them? Well, just about anyone who has an investment in the status quo and that includes a lot of Demos. Then, there is the whole thing about being decorous in your discourse; to say nothing about the hot hot lights of tee vee and the need to be cool cool cool in the face of the coverage. This is the culture; Mom and Dad looking over your shoulder: 'don't make waves'. 'Shhhhh'.

Of course, Dean has not helped. He was an outsider then went inside sucking up to Gore (the kiss of death--it is a given--did you see him make a great global warming speech on the coldest day of the year? Only Al could get that kind of timing) and Jimmy C. He shimmied around and got co-opted. Outsiders shouldn't be too anxious for approval. Sure, be grateful; but don't drag the endorser around like a dog with a new toy. And then Diane Sawyer. Oh dear. The ultimate co-option, with the sighs and apologies and the attempt to finesse their great relationship into something that would be more, well, conventional. We could blame the 'campaign'--Trippi and the others--but it is the Man who makes the decisions good or bad, openeyed or not.

And so on. I do not want to add on the tons of analysis. I have not jumped ship. I think that he is a good guy and what is needed and probably unelectable. The masters of the political form would have at him with the tricks and the twists and the pirouettes. This may not be the time where 'it' comes all together; but Howard Dean is the first wave in an oncoming tide. They think that this is anger? Wait and see real anger if things do not change in the country and in the party.

PEPYS

One thing I love about the Pepys' Diary is how all life's experience unfolds as a near stream of consciousness. In today's Journal:

....home to supper and then to bed, having eat no dinner to-day. It is strange what weather we have had all this winter; no cold at all; but the ways are dusty, and the flyes fly up and down, and the rose-bushes are full of leaves, such a time of the year as was never known in this world before here. This day many more of the Fifth Monarchy men were hanged.

This is the time of the restoration of the monarchy after Cromwell and the five are part of a remaining guerrilla action; a little like is happening in Iraq. Well; not really, but you get the drift.

The meal, the weather, and the hangings; all in one breath.

The other day he was shocked when real women appeared in women's roles in a new theater production. He is writing this in a time of great change and he is right in the middle of it. The right man at the 'write' time.

MEDITATION

I have been a meditator for a long time; maybe 28 years. I was having a lot of snarl in my life. I tried a lot of stuff and, through a rather indirect path, got 'sent' to the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, MA. They do vipassana (insight) and metta (lovingkindness) meditation; breathing. It took. I stayed there a few weeks. I figure that experience had a lot to do with my getting and staying sober a couple of years later. You can't kill yourself and breathe at the same time. In the early days of recovery, I 'learned' how to hook meditation to the basics of my Program. It all worked together.

Somewhere, I stopped the regular practice, and without knowing it, became unhooked. I did OK, stayed sober, did my life. Then in 1997 everything hit us. We had a couple major illnesses, our Moms died, we moved to Palm Springs. I was a basket case of anxiety, dis-ease; over the top. We were in Provincetown for a final visit and I was in a lot of pain; not having a good time. I was out on the deck one morning; a neighbor was sitting. I remembered. I started sitting again right then and there. It was like riding a bicycle. You never forget how. Instant relief.

I still sit every day. The thing about meditation is that a little goes a looooong way. And more is not always better than a high-quality less.

I have no technique. I am way out of the positions; never could lotus at all. I sit comfortably, shut my eyes, and focus on breath. I do a little sing-song to get in the mood: "may I be filled with loving kindness; may I be well; my I be peaceful and and feel at ease; may I be happy". Then I am off and breathing. I let whatever comes to my mind arrive, and then I let it go; bubbles. I do not resist. I gently focus on the breath. Sometimes I actually learn something. I have insight. Other times, not. I am always calmed and centered. Directed.

I went back to my teacher a couple years ago. He was in Joshua Tree doing a workshop. I went and sat and listened and re-upped my stuff; stayed silent for a week. It was great. I do not know what happened really; but I got what I went for--I developed some purpose.

Behind it all I remember Alan Watts' great line that 'the only purpose of meditation is to have no purpose'.

HOMOS

I guess I don't expect them to support gay marriage or anything gay for that matter. But we don't expect to get bashed either. By making a point of the FMA in his SOTU message, Bush indirectly signals his opposition to the famed 'gay agenda'. Also, not mentioning AIDS funding (although there will be some) and declaring an abstinence policy toward STD prevention he reinforces the point. Demagogic. Pandering. .

It is odd, that marriage needs to be defended with a huge counseling program; it being a fundamental pillar of society. But we do not want to encourage queers to do it.

It must be pretty hurtful to be Cheney's openly lesbian daughter and have your Dad do the same FMA thing in a pre-SOTU speech.

It is not the FMA of course. Marriage is not even a Federal matter. It is the same as the racism behind a lot of the quota and equal opportunity discussion (a legitimate topic of debate incidentally). You can't come right out and yell nigger or faggot. Gotta use the smirk, the nudge, and the wide eyed stare of feigned innocence.

RAIN

We awoke to rain today. This is not a big deal anywhere else, but we live in rain-shadow land. This has been a wetter year; the most since the first year we lived here. This means that, as it was then, we will have spring flowers in the open desert. We live in rain-shadow land. The wet from the coast can't get up the hill to dump on us. What is needed is the right combination of force, lift, and moisture. I guess that is what we had last night.

What this drawing does not show is the SNOW. We have a big white paintbrush wipe across all the mountains this morning--down to about 4000 feet; beautiful to see, and way near enough to enjoy without puttin' on a coat.

POST SPIN

The pundits are all over the Iowa caucus. It is hard to remember that it was not an election but a dynamic standup head count. Dean still gets thumped; maybe rightly so. I like to think that the miracle of Iowa is that we got three live candidates out of it. Even the noted rightie William Safire (NYT-click at right) observes that Kerry has 'forever shucked his Herman Munster image'. Edwards came from behind fresh and pretty.

In TIME magazine, we have Michael Kinsley wringing his hands over Dean's non-wife. The people who do not like a little fire in their politics are still worrying about his 'outburst' the night of the caucus; piling on the leader turned loser--an old American past time. Electability against Bush is a major issue; I gotta admit it and it is being played out to a fare-the-well.

I don't mind in the long run. It is politics. I believe in the process.

I figure that, if nothing else, Howard Dean has really energized that process. As someone said, the Doctor has re-grafted the backbone into his Party and its candidates. I put three spines here; one for Kerry, another for Edwards, and the third is Dean's. It has been there from the beginning.

FIFTY

The blog is about me but this bit is about John. Yet, given my bent for the self-centered focus, I can make it about me if given half a chance. Let's see.

The PS Film Fest is over and my partner attended FIFTY films in ten days. I say attended as there were a few that he walked out of. I think that this is a signal achievement. It is the highest that he has ever attained. When I attended the Fest, John always saw more films than I did. I could never get much above 25-30. Three a day was my max and I usually pooped out after 7-8 days. I lacked the motivation, stamina or the discipline to make it go. I think that my exhaustion was based on the fact that I was not nourished by the surroundings of the Festival. John is. He likes the running, the talk, the poor eating, the lack of sleep, the whole thing. He has friends that he kibitzes with (I hate kibitzing) who he sees year to year. And so on. None of this works for me. I am a loner and thrive on routine. The Festival is anything but.

One way we are alike, is that neither of us is distracted by celebrity. John caught a glimpse of Kevin Costner on the way to something else, but did not waste his time sitting listening to him talk about his 'work'. Yes there is a chuckle behind those 'quotes'. I like the early Costner but, as I have mentioned before, a lot of these guys that we like early are unbearable later when they become impressed with themselves and lose their direction. Costner hasn't been interesting since DANCING WITH WOLVES.

You can lose a lot of time on the talk parts of the Fest. Directors show up to explain, actors come along to discuss their interpretation, lighting and other technicians elucidate the inobvious and generally, the whole original point of the cinema is undermined by talk. It usually adds nothing and indeed, if you have to explain what you did, it probably wasn't done all that well in the first place. Show don't tell. So, efficiency of film viewing is enhanced by ignoring the star-sucking side-show.

There. I have made it only, maybe, half about me. Of course, there are those opinions which I have thrown in (me me me) which I sorta attribute to John but I am the one carrying on. Not bad though.

MAYBE

"And now," Mr. Kerry said, "I have a special message for the special interests that have a home in the Bush White House: We're coming, you're going, and don't let the door hit you on the way out."

OK. I will give him a better picture. I would have made it bigger if he had said 'don't let the door hit you on the ass on the way out' but.......you can't have everything. He did come to life a bit. Perhaps under the dour exterior there is a little fire. If there is no fire, there is no beating Bush.

I have to remember that I synched with him pretty good on the AOL Presidential Match Guide. I am close to Edwards too, but I do not know diddle about him. Gotta take a look.

Dean is limping. What happened? Our righty Andrew Sullivan had some musings about it yesterday and today. Take a look at his 011904 entry; particularly the part about the Gore kiss of death. You cannot deny Al Gore's zombie effect on everything and everybody he touches. I have never been able to figure that out; because in full holler, he is powerfully convincing and moving. But he has this aura of invincible failure. He is a lot like Carter in this way. That was another mistake: taking off to get Jimmy's tepid smiles and mealy-mouthed platitudes; looking like a suck-up in the process. We know Dean doesn't go to Sunday School.

I like the anger thing but it does make a lot of people nervous. I do not know what to make of it yet.

I am not much for post mortems and I don't take it personal either. Let's see what happens next. I love elections. I am part of the electorate. I get to go through the process with everyone else. It is great stuff and quintessentially American! The right to have and change my own mind.

I like the rest of his statement too. I will put it all in:

"This president has an open hand for his friends at Halliburton, but he has turned his back on our friends and neighbors," he said. "He has turned his back on America's teachers and America's schools. And I will crisscross this country in this campaign and hold George W. Bush accountable for making a mockery of the words `no child left behind.'

"Add up the deficit and the indifference of this administration," he added. "Count the cost that working families are paying while the privileged ride high and reap the rewards. Seniors have seen their retirements stolen by Enron and Worldcom. We've seen financial scandals and jobs sent overseas. And at companies like Tyco, we've seen a work places where this president licenses a creed of greed."

"Two million people have seen their health insurance blown away, and three million people have lost their jobs," he said. "And when we add it all up, as I have in Iowa and New Hampshire and as we will all the way to November, it is clear that the one person in the United States of America who deserves to be laid off is George W. Bush.

KERRY

Well, Kerry got it. I have to feel OK about it because I believe in the process; even the Iowa process.

But, I don't feel good enough about it to post a better picture than this. Actually, there isn't a better picture. This is the only one where he doesn't look like a stuffed shirt. Maybe that is what they like in Iowa. OK. HOLD IT! That is enough. No sore 'losers'.

Dean made some real errors at the end; not just the kind you can wash over and then 'spin' dry. John thinks that the absence of his wife hurts him. I think that is true but it shouldn't be. I also think he is right. The others' attacks hurt him; but he should quit saying so and get on with it. And so on.

History says that Iowa will break but not really make a candidate. Late breaking (perhaps) news says that Gephardt has cancelled a flight and appearances in NH. I don't think that helps Dean though. We will see.

On to New Hampshire.

COMET



This little gif, to the right, is a great slow-motion picture of a comet's core on today's Astropic.

For the big closeup cringe-when-it-comes-at-you version go to Stardust Flyby of Comet Wild2.

If you do not look at it today, you may have to go to the archives for 011904.

SPIN

Here we go. Iowa starts it all. A cluster of candidates and all of them spinning the stories; trying to both raise and lower expectations at the same time! It is a paradoxical business.

Now we have the pre-spin; the best being this from the LiberalOasis Hard Count (in the center column) that describes the difference between hard count and poll count. If we look at the hard count; Dean is in.

Soon we will have the mid-spin; but we will not see much of this as it will happen all to quickly and behind the semi-closed doors of the caucus itself. Then there will be the post-spin in which the weirdness of the Iowa system will allow anyone to make the most outrageous claims about even the most meager results.

It is clustered so tightly that I cannot imagine we will lose anyone out of this; but it is pretty well agreed that if Gephardt does not get a good 'ahead' out of it, he is toast and may be anyway. He is sorta out of money. My guess is that Kucinich will not be dropping out no matter what.

I see that Jimmy Earl made Howard go to church before he would stand up and admire him out loud (no endorsement); a high price to pay--two days off the campaign trail and having to sit still for a sermon.

A nice aside: I read today that Dean quit the Episcopalians when the Church would not allow a bike path through some property they owned. He is a Congregational which makes his defection even tastier. This is an old New England split; the Congos being the dissenters from the mother country's church/statism. This is where we came in, isn't it?

MOUSE

We have mice. I first heard them a few days ago in the east cupboard in the kitchen. I pounded on the cabinet door to roust them hoping that they would not want to settle in a noisy apartment.

Last night I heard scrambling on the west cupboard. Evidently my efforts in the east were effective. Unfortunately, I had not thought the matter through. The garbage is on the west side. I had driven them to their very goal. This morning there is debris around the garbage bag with little holes--smart holes right where there is food.

I could not find our traps; so, I endured a trip to the hardware store and a lecture from the clerk on the value of various approaches. Unfortunately, it is Sunday; and what we have is the non-professional stand-in clerk who is really giving his own opinion and not the facts.

The lecture was all air anyway. There were no mechanical traps in stock. There has been a run on them--all sizes. Apparently I am not the only one under siege. The warehouse in Pamona does not have them either.

By default, I went for the glue strip even though the guy told me that a tough mouse would just run with it; but shit, they are coming through the pipe chases, so what's the deal with that? Does he mean that the mouse is going to spend his life with a glue strip on his foot? Terminix uses glue strips if they cannot use bait. We have them outside. They occasionally catch the unwary or retarded rodent; but we get more dead ones in the pool than in the traps.

The trouble with any of them is that there is going to be a body to dispose of. I am good at this and the only one in the house that is; but that does not mean that I enjoy it.

Now I am told that the glue strip is inhumane. So is the mechanical snap trap kinder and gentler? Will the PETA people be at my door over this? With 'humane' traps you have to release the mouse into the wild. Well, the wild is our back yard. I could take the car and put the live mouse in someone else's yard.

The traps are in place. More later when there is something to report.

Whew. That was a close one. We dodged the bullet. I just read that Michael Moore is endorsing Clark. I had worried that he might be noisily supporting Dean.

It is bad enough that Dean is traipsing around Iowa with Rob Riener and Martin Sheen. Here we are, not even the first primary, and the Hollywood hangers-on are already pushing their way into the camera's view. I think this stuff really trivializes the campaign(s). They all do it; the candidates.

I have nothing against any of these people but they don't belong in the front of the house. I don't doubt their sincerity even though sometimes it looks suspiciously like a bid to burnish a fading career. Bill Clinton got stars in his eyes and got damn little for it but a lot of trouble. For every celeb that gets a vote, I am convinced that two are lost.

Who is Barbra Streisand for? Can we send her over to Lieberman? That would do him in for the duration.

FELLINI FINI

I ended the FelliniFest tonight with AMARCORD (1973). "I remember"--the adolescent years. It was OK. It is one of the NYTimes1000 so I had to watch the whole thing but I would have quit half way through on my own. I have figured out that it helps to be heterosexual to appreciate this stuff. The imagery is way over on the other side from my point of view. It is funny for a while and very handsomely presented; more realistic than the other films that I watched this time. I am going to give it a Netflix 3 out of 5. Sorry Federico.

SUPRISE

Don recommended the The AOL Presidential Match Guide. I took the 'test' and amazingly, my man Dean came out third. Go try it! It is easy and will be good for you!

It turns out that on the issues I am 100% in synch with Dennis Kucinich! The real surprise is second placed Kerry! Whew. Then my man Howard Dean. They all cluster together around 90% except--no surprise--Lieberman way down there at 70%. I knew he was out of my sphere; not how much. Thirty big percent, Joe.

Of course, the question here is how the men express themselves. Kucinich is very attractive and maladroit at the same time; the classic quixotic.

Kerry? Well. He is just a stiff. He was my Senator for many years and I could never warm up to him. He might be right on the issues but his inaction in the face of the Bush onslaught is unacceptable.

So: maybe I am a classic case of being right and don't bother me with facts; but I will stick with my man until the last minute of his run.

THREE

Yesterday, a filling fell out in the morning and the spa heater did not go on in the evening. That is two things. I am waiting for the third. Bad things come in threes. My Dad forced this basic law into me. As a fundamental optimist, this goes against my grain. Yet, through repetition, he confirmed this theory over and over again bringing the speculative into the realm of natural law. "See, I told you. There it is. The THIRD THING" "Yes, Dad". I did not realize that there are enough 'things' that finding three and packaging them was a fairly easy exercise. Perhaps, bundling into threes makes life a bit more manageable. Nevertheless, I digress.

The filling is not a problem. I already have an appointment to scrunch it back in. I do not think that the spa is any big deal either; but I need to wait until Monday to call Frank the pool man. I do not want to ruin his weekend with this alarming news. He might be working on his own three things.

No. The problem is waiting for the third thing to happen. It puts me on edge. When will it happen? What will it be? How will I respond? Will I be brave and accepting or craven and whiny over whatever eventuality awaits?

And so on.

SPALESS

Finding cool water in one's spa when hot is expected is not too serious on the scale of things that can happen. Given the state of the world, it is a bit whiny-like to even mention it. Nevertheless, it is a dislocation to routine; to find that immersion in hot water is not an option for this, or even the next several, nights.

Habits die hard. I left the spa to itself (after several futile stabs at the heater switch--as one does with an elevator button that will not immediately arrive). I simply continued with the nightly ritual; on to the chaise and the starwatch.

Every night we look for shooters--falling stars--meteorites coming into the atmosphere--and are almost always rewarded. As we wait, we pet Franklin who mostly sits quietly between the two chaises. It is his bedtime too. We are all settling down.

Up to last night, I had assumed that the hot water was the key element in getting quiet and sleepy and all; ready for the night. Not so. A star watch (no shooters) and a dog petting seemed to fit the bill nicely. I was asleep before my head hit the pillow. Maybe we could save on some gas money if we.........no. I will call Frank Monday.

SOLO

You will note that we closed the day as two family members. This is the 8th day of the PS FILM FESTIVAL and John is still away from home most of the time. He has had a good week and hard at it; seeing as many as 5 and 6 movies a day. I know. The mind reels.

On the home front, we have been having a good time keeping up the routine (Franklin and I LOVE routine--just keep-on keepin'-on please). It is only a trial at those times when a two-daddy dog needs normal energy and attention from only one daddy but since John has been walking him in the AM and has a reasonable amount of snuggle and play time before he leaves, it is not too bad.

It is nice to have a vacation. I travelled for years so we were never all together all the time until I retired. Then, we hit that moment of reality that most retiring couples hit: "My god we are going to be alone together 24/7!". In the first year I took two three or four day trips to the desert just to be radically alone.

Over time, we have worked things out so that we have respite. As it turns out, John is the guy who goes and I am the home and hearth partner. Now, home and hearth includes dog time and, as it turns out, special alone time with the pooch is a very special treat. He is a great guy all the time and when things are a little off and different he gets a bit closer and nicer. We have had a great time.

This can only go on for awhile though. We will be glad to be three again in the next three days. The Festival is dwindling and the best of the best will be shown Monday and we will back to as normal as it gets around here at any time.

HEY COULD THIS BE THE THREE? THREE DAYS-THREE GUYS?

Maybe it does not have to be a BAD thing; maybe just a BIG thing.

When I was looking for an image about 'three' I found this one. Irresistible.

NOTE: I have added a raft of links to the right for your delectation. I frequently refer to these sites and so you might want to have a shot at them yourself. They range from sublime to ridiculous. None are X-rated. I will supply those links on request :). Enjoy.

PRESS

Today was the last gym day of the week; legs. I am ready for a break. A lot of people have trouble going to the gym. I have trouble taking a break. I love it. I like the effect, the experience, the routine, the high from the action.

I have friends there. I have known Joe and Tim for years; before we lived here and I would go while here on vacation. There are some other guys that I have known and worked out with since I have lived here; Doc, Randy and some others. We are 5AM guys. There is not a big population in the gym at that hour. There are always some 'transients'--people who come and go and are nice to nod to.

I do not go to socialize however. First things first. I get two minutes between sets. Whatever 'chitchat' can fit in between that and the recording of performance and so on is just enough. I do not stop the workout to talk.

I am now on a lean strength routine. I use the MensHealth computerized workout. I get my printout of weights and reps every day. I report my performance. It adjusts the routine for the next time. The exercises do not change much. Monday is chest (4 exercises) and back (3 exercises). Tuesday; arms--4 bicep, 4 tricep, 3 wrist and forearms. Wednesday and Thursday is just abs. Friday, legs. Each day there is cardio. I total 8+ hours of cardio a week. Saturday I do nothing. Sunday is no gym but a 90 minute bike.

I am using a computerized diet system that coordinates with the workout as well; also through MensHealth. The diet system is very flexible with a lot of substitution possibilities. The program 'learns' your preferences and tastes and builds menus on it. You report your weight and measurements weekly. It is quite ingenious. And there is no fad b/s to it. You eat normal food. It is a food pyramid thing. The carbs are not looooow. They are just right. I have been on this regimen for almost three years now and have maintained my weight and dimensions within less than 1% variation week to week.

The MensHealth package is easy to use if you are disciplined and can follow a routine. The menu stuff would be difficult if you have others in the family who do not like the routine. John is happy with the dinners and does whatever he wants the rest of the time. Oh yeah. They publish in 26 languages. I think that this one is Croatian.

You could take a look and see if it fits you. Mens Health Personal Trainer. Click on Personal Trainer (middle right of the home page). There is usually a free trial period.

PREP

I am getting ready for Dean to fade. I do not want it. I do not expect it. But I am such a political junky that I need to prep myself for the possibility. What would I do and where would I put my attention?

This little speculation in FrontPage Magazine (originated in the NYPost but I do not go there) Howards End by John Podhoretz I do not know if I agree with him but it sets me thinking.

Podhoretz is a righty (Norm's kid)--NY Post; Fox News, a former speechwriter for Reagan; a neo con. I read these guys to get a different slant (Sullivan, Drudge, et. al.). I like to get ecumenical. I get tired of sitting in the choir and being preached to by my own kind. I think that I am a better man for the exposure. At least, I learn tolerance and acceptance; and the then there is the occasional new idea or way of looking at things.

My friend Bob will love seeing this last para.

FELLINI

Here is what I am learning from the FelliniFilmFest that I have been running for myself:

The idea of Fellini is better than the experience of Fellini.

It is almost as if I have been living in one of his cinematic dreams. I have the memory of these films when they came around. I have read about Fellini and his life. I have this incredible amount of input from all Fellini's disciples; the films which emulate him. I saw a wonderful documentary of Fellini last year (which is now about to be released on DVD and I will see it again). I love Nino Rota's music. The sound of Fellini.

Then I watch the films. Thud. Boom. This is it. I can't wait to get out of the chair. Gotta be honest. Today ROMA. His take on prewar Rome. Dreams. Fantasies. Whew. I think that I am going to move on. It is really a good thing that John was NOT here for this. A personal enlightenment.

Wanting to like something is not the same as LIKING it; virtuality vs. reality. Another little lesson in life.

AGAINST

Paul Krugman hits a homer in his NYT column this morning explaining to the brain dead why Dean or Clark are necessary nominees. Who gets it?

I could take Clark if it came to that, but those hunched squarish shoulders are a bit much. Gnomish. Wound up. The cartoonists would have a field day. He is not a good visual as handsome as his face is.

Why is this important? Well we know what he is against: Bush. I have no idea what he is for. Bush isn't for anything either. So we go for the beauty contest. Straight guys like Bush's guy-ness. Clark will have to beat him on that.

8 1/2 (1963)

I watched 8.5 today--well most of it. Fellini did this one right after completing LA DOLCE VITA. It is all about directing a film which doesn't seem to exist.

It is widely assumed that all of Fellini's stuff is autobiographical; but if he was as fucked up as this guy (Marcello Mastroianni--his film to film alter ego) he would never have made any film at all. I think that it is a joke on himself and all the people who want him to be something that he is not. It is just Fellini doing Fellini.

It is hard to get to the original core of this film since it has been so widely imitated (try Terry Gilliam who keeps trying to channel Fellini. They even interview him on this DVD. Off limits to me*. I like TG but for himself). This is the original, the urtext of the tortured auteur theme. No plot, all dreams, maybe visions, wild stuff. I liked it; but I got tired of it. Black and white? Small screen?

It shows up on everyone's top-films-ever-list including the NYTimes1000. I give it a 4 on the Netflix 5 scale. I just couldn't hang in that long.

* With regard to not watching the Gilliam interview; there are some rules in this film thing that I am doing (the NYT100 best plus others). One is that we do not watch the interviews or screw around with the film's order. We do not stop the film. There are no repeats. You get what you get.

I know that this flouts the technology and the 'wonder' of DVD but I am of a view that if God meant us to listen to lectures about movies he would have made us critics; and to mess with their timing and sequence, he would have made us directors. I am neither.

Incidentally, this is another reason not to like the big Film Festival. People always want to TALK about the goddam films. I just go to SEE them. And so on. Rant.

I LIKE DEAN

WINNERS

Here is the winner of the Bush 2004 campaign film contest at MoveOn.org and NO it does not compare Bush to Hitler--nor did any but a very few of the submissions that poured in through the open door. PRIZE WINNER

If you want to look at more films and find out about MoveOn.org go to MoveOn.org.

WHY

Why we left Boston:

Boston current conditions; Mostly Cloudy; 3° F: At Logan Airport as of 10:55 AM
 
RealFeel temp:-13° F Wind direction: NW Wind speed:12 mp/h; Barometric pressure: 29.86 in; Visibility: 10 miles; Tanning index:1 of 10

Yeh, that visibility is pretty good; and I thought that I would include the tanning index for a goof. It was right there in the report.

SATYRICON (1968)

I am on a Fellini marathon while John is at the PS FilmFest. I could not get away with this when he is here. It is weird, as I put these films into my Netflix queue months ago. Now, here they are coming out of the box just when he is away and I am most available to watch them.

SATYRICON makes for a great afternoon of grotesque lust and depravity and laughs and wonder and great cinematic moments. Satyrical satire (get it?) with all the abstract sets, costumes, and actors; a marvel of human variety in the widest spectrum: Fellini's trademark. It is based on Potronius' work; a set of fables about human desire.

It does not hurt that the film chronicles the adventures of a beautiful young man (or older boy) to tell its story (as much as there is a story here).
[Photo of Fellini on the Satyricon set]

JIMMY C.

The Carter ego has cracked enough that, while an outright endorsement is very unlikely, Dean will get a slight nod in his direction in a meeting the next few days. All of us are left to interpret this as mild approval. The absence of any other nods in any other direction, then allows us to include that Jimmy is behind our man.

This sort of wimpy and self centered behavior marked Carter's presidency from the beginning and it was the beginning of the end for the Demos for awhile. Neverthless, we will take a nod wherever we can get it; another elder statesman of the party bowing to the need for a change.