esrosedotblog

IT FIGURES

We ordered the wedding cake today.

It was an ordeal.

I suppose that most people would be overjoyed at taking such a step.

I have to say that I am not one of them.

First and foremost, I do not much like cake.

And I hate icing.

So, this is pretty much not my area to be engaged in.

I was like a conscientious objector thrown into the front lines of battle and given a gun to fire.

Ill equipped mentally and physically.

But, it is not really something John can do by himself.

He asked me. I went. Our wedding.

First they bring out all these options. Cake options. Icing options. Filling options. Mousse. Fruit. You have to taste them. Christ.

Then there are the other flavorings. Bits in the cake? Alcoholic beverages in the icing? Cordials.

Have we gotten to the design yet?

No.

You should see the models. All over the shop. It looks like a Victorian whorehouse in there.

Then there are pages of other options.

We had the good fortune of seeing a wedding cake that this place made (they are top of the line) in the newspaper and thought that was what we wanted.

Square boxes on top of one another. Symmetrical. Like steps. Three steps. Get it? Either the first or last three.

White.

No goo gaws at all.

Bang. We cut through the froo fru and ended up with a simple moderne model.

Then the cake. Vanilla. John picked the fillings. I don't eat icing and don't care much about what it is filled with.

We were done in, she said, record time.

I was still depressed afterwards.

I won't tell you how much the fucker cost. 6.50 a slice. A hundred people. You do the math.

But you have to do it.

The main thing is the top. John found the most wonderful figures for the top of the cake that you can imagine.

They will be a sensation.

No not that kind of sensation. Although you can get figures that are fucking in about any position. And these are not the sinful gays we are talking about. These are horny hets.

Anyway, ours are not like that. They are sensationally chaste.

So we had already done that part. We had already picked out the cubic cake.

Maybe that's it.

Once we had the shape and the figures we didn't have any more excitement to squeeze out of the experience.

It will be fine. Even wonderful. It is all good.

What fun!

Labels: gay marriage, wedding