esrosedotblog

ESOTERICA

Stay through a minute or so and it really gets interesting.

Not that the first minute isn't OK.

The Brits have a handle on this kind of "take it seriously" humor.

We, as a rule, are much more heavy handed

Labels: music, repairman humor

IGNITER

Got the baking function back on the stove today.

It was the igniter.

They are pretty simple, stoves.

There is a pipe with the gas, there is an electrical line. The two meet at the igniter. The igniter glows and hums. When it gets hot enough, the gas ignites in a long pipe with holes in it.

There is a fan shaped piece that goes over the burning gas to diffuse the heat.

Voila!

Pumpkin pie!

Well, it would have been pumpkin pie if the igniter hadn't gone out the day before Thanksgiving.

This is one of those things you (not me) could fix yourself if you knew how to do it. Like a lot of things. You take out two screws and remove the igniter and put in a new one.

Of course, the old one sticks in place because it is rusted. You have to know that soap liquid will ease it out.

Then you have to know to turn off the electric before you unplug and replug it. Shit like that.

I like the repair guys. There are four of them. Same company. They all do everything. They apprentice to get their grade.

He says there is seldom anything he can't fix.

We finally got this company when we had all the drier trouble. They had to work from the manual on line but they got it right.

They are also amusing. Lots of anecdotes.

I can't remember a one though.

I guess they are only amusing if you are standing there watching them work. It keeps you out of the way.

This whole thing took about 15 minutes. Amazing. Efficient.

Labels: appliances, repairman humor, repairs

AWAY GOES TROUBLE DOWN THE DRAIN

We have had a slow toilet. Always a bad sign.

Then it got way slower all at once.

A worse sign.

I didn't scramble the defense forces right away. It was the back toilet and it was isolated to that area.

We don't use it that much and we have two other alternatives.

But, it being the new year and all, I called Roto Rooter today.

You call them on the day you want them because they are there in less than two hours.

Miguel arrived and I learned several things.

They do not put the snake in the toilet. It will shatter it.

There should be a clean out. Ours is behind the toilet. You cannot get to it.

But that is OK because the best way to clean is to go down through what I used to think of as the vent on the roof.

If one toilet is clogged you go down at that vent.

If all toilets are stuffed you go through the main which all three lines run to before the cesspool.

Yes. A cesspool. We are still not hooked up to the city and probably will not be in my lifetime. Although every time I say something like that, nature comes around and turns me into a liar or a denier.

Miguel stuck the snake down the pipe and went to work.

I went in and ran the water.

There was no immediate success.

In fact, a brown cloud came up the tub where all the excess water was going.

Miguel said that might mean there was a broken pipe.

Oh shit.

I started to plan how we could take the toilet and tub and sink out of there and open the room up as a large closet and back entrance to the yard.

But then, suddenly and dramatically, all the water ran out of the tub.

I turned on more faucets.

I flushed 8-10 times.

The drain was clear.

Crisis averted.

It is always darkest before the dawn and all that.

Yawn.

It is over.

Miguel got me to buy a special product to make the house smell good again and to bio-clean the drains. Once a month application.

The good smell was welcome as all of the rooting led to a shit odor coming up through all the sinks.

I suspect it is the same stuff I buy for half the price in the hardware store but maybe not.

I tipped him a 20.

Another day, another problem solved.

Labels: repairman humor

BLOCK OF ICE

We had to call in the refrigerator people to fix the ice maker.

Suddenly, last Thursday, there were no cubes tumbling out of the machine.

I considered pulling the refrigerator out to look at the little tube running from the cold water line but just couldn't do it.

Actually, when the service guy came, the first thing he did was try the water spigot right next to the ice spout.

Shit. Why didn't I think of that?

So. No water supply problem.

We never did pull the refrigerator out.

This guy was like a surgeon taking the machine apart. He even had a large version of the dentists mirror (a dental surgeon of course) to peer into the interior.

He diagnosed a faulty water valve or a frozen delivery line.

He checked the line first. Voila! Ice.

Did we have any water shutoffs recently?

Yes, over three weeks ago.

Did we shut the ice cube machine off first?

No we did not.

Aha!

We should have!

I never knew that.

So he just let the machine go with an un-iced line and if that doesn't work we will get the valve.

We already have about 3 dozen ice cubes.

I guess it was just blocked.

I swear, if I live long enough, I will know everything I need to know like when to shut the ice machine off.

And just at the moment I know it all, poof! I will have my ticket punched.

I told the guy that.

He said 'think of me'. I spend my whole life learning how to be a perfect repairman; practice makes perfect. I learn more every week. Just when I have it all together, it will be time to retire.

And so on.

Badinage with the repairman to keep things moving along happily.

This 'experience' and 'wisdom' cost me 65.00. He didn't charge any more than the basic 'come to you' fee.

Nice.

Labels: ice, repairman humor, repairs, wisdom