esrosedotblog

As pioneers in gay marriage, we are excited to see the dominoes falling all around the country.

With eye on history, judges nix gay marriage bans

This sort of goes without saying but I thought I would say it anyway.

We have been married since October 8, 2008 when, for a brief time, the window opened in California. We are among 18000 people who made it through at that time.

As far as I know we have not even caused a ripple here in Palm Springs but maybe it is different in other places.

I doubt it though.

If people mind their own business and stick to the fundamentals of American justice then there is no problem, has been no problem and will be no problem.

The impact on us, however, was deep and wide.

We had been together for many years before 2008. Met in 1975 and started a relationship that had ups and downs as well as ins an outs for as long as five years. But we moved in together in 1978 and married symbolically around that time. A friend was a catholic priest. He did the honors.

I quit looking over my shoulder as a gay man a long time ago. But not that long before our meeting. I came out in 1975 and it didn't take too much time before I met John. I tried to get away but he wouldn't let me. Fate.

The legitimacy that marriage affords is daily from the ease of living together, doing the legal things we need to do as a couple and, above all, helping us feel proud and out and able to be a power of example to others.

I have to say that we have not had even a moment of discrimination or trouble. There might have been some situations, an epithet from a car in Las Vegas comes to mind, but we have never seen any of that as prejudice. Mostly because we are not threatened by it. We have, conversely seen it as fear in the taunter, the insecure, the poor bastards who do not understand that judging others is a disease of their own.

And our fear factor is very low.

Our love factor is deep and abiding. It is so strong that taunts or comments or any kind of negative reaction are reduced to small bits. We do not even hear them. If they are there at all.

It all began with a date after some personal ads in the paper. We bloomed together and came out openly in our community. The difficulties were not trivial but they were never stoppers. We knew we were on the right track and we loved back to those close to us. We never looked for trouble and we never got any.

It is true that the more people who come out openly the less trouble there is. It has worked. It is working. See the headline.

I have no advice to people new to this game. Just hold on to what you and your lover have together. If it is right it will be strong.

I don't consider some supportive laws to be the whole thing. There are still a lot of shitty attitudes and some bad people out there. But they have themselves to deal with. Hatred is consuming of the hater.

Labels: gay marriage