esrosedotblog

HANDMADE

Is there a more awkward term of current use than "artisanal"?

WTF.

I remember when I first saw this. I think that it was for pizza.

It sounds like a medical condition. "I have an artisanal backache".

No. It is the newest, buzziest name for stuff that isn't made by a machine. Well, not 100%.

Somehow this is supposed to denote quality.

To tell you the truth, I have always been a bit dubious about the quality of the term "home made" too.

If something is truly home made then it is made by people in their homes (which artisanal is not because it is made on a commercial scale just not a big big commercial scale).

Home made suggests tasty but I can tell you that I have had a lot of not tasty home made food.

In fact, today, I won't have it. I don't go to pot luck suppers and I don't want to be around anything that came from a bake sale or the like.

Another thing. Home made means dirty hands, house animals, weird or toxic ingredients or god knows what.

Part of my bias is that I grew up in the food business and so I know that, for the most part, commercial food products are safer to eat and often a lot better tasting, certainly more consistent than home made stuff.

I suppose some things are safe. Home made fudge for example. It is pretty hard to fuck up colored and flavored decrystallized sugar. And the heat kills any of the bacteria.

And so on.

Let me get back to artisanal. This morning a NYTimes article about artisanal chocolates.

I had to look it up.

Wickipedia:

The adjective "artisanal" is sometimes used in describing hand-processing in what is usually viewed as an industrial process, such as in the phrase artisanal mining. Thus, "artisinal" is sometimes used in marketing and advertising as a buzz word to describe or imply some relation with the crafting of handmade food products, such as bread, beverages or cheese. Many of these have traditionally been handmade, rural or pastoral goods but are also now commonly made on a larger scale with automated mechanization in factories and other industrial areas.

In other words, double talk. Bullshit. Someplace in the commercial manufacture of these chocolates, one or more people put their hands on them.

Let me take you on a field trip to the old Schraffts or Brigham's candy factories in Boston. Little, poorly paid old ladies with dust caps on, sit along a conveyor belt and dip ingredients into liquid chocolate. Artisans.

How about the artisanal cheese? Ethnic hirsute guys twisting cheese cloths as the curd dumps into a mold. Artisans.

Sausages. Someone stuffs a casing with ground up meat and spice. Artisans.

Maybe the deal is that the little old lady or the hairy guy or the sausage stuffer can be viewed as more of an artisan if she or he gets to make a decision in the making of the product.

I can tell you that in the chocolate factory they could tell which little old lady did what chocolate by the tell tale swirl on the top. So the personal touch. They were all artisans being paid as little old ladies on a candy line.

In the article the writer talks about dribbling a little sea salt on a chocolate covered caramel block. That makes the thing artisinal.

Uh-huh. (smirk)

Here are some more artisans in action.

Labels: bullshit, cooking, food