Friday, December 02, 2011
ANNIVERSARY updated 110311
Today is the EIGHTH anniversary of esrose.blog.
Eight years.
For some reason the first five days are not in the archive.
No matter, they weren't very interesting. I was feeling my way.
I had a photo journal before that but I had quit taking pictures. Hard to have a photo journal if one isn't working it.
Then, the software I had been using crashed and somehow the backup didn't work and so I said "fuck it" and retired from the scene.
But I liked the idea of writing a journal without my own pictures and so I tried out blogger. And the rest is history.
At first, I promoted the blog and put the web address on every email I sent.
It was only later that I allowed comments and found out that there were a lot of people I never met responding. Some weird ones, one note harangues. But, for the most part interesting.
This was a surprise to me. I didn't know that people had software that told them where their particular hobby horses might be riding on line.
At some point I quit promoting it and now, there are a few friends who read it, more than I would think. I assume my family looks in as they talk to me about stuff. There are probably 30 or so irregular regulars.
Maybe I should ask everyone who reads it to make a comment and then I would know. I mostly write out of my own interest. Occasionally, I write pieces for someone who I know is in the crowd thinking that they will be interested. Maybe even with the knowledge that they might get a little pissed off.
The Facebook Sonnet* that I put up here some time ago rattled a few cages. I think that one guy may have left over it. Are you still there?
I suppose that some of the staples of the blog interest some people and not others.
I cannot believe that everyone who reads this looks forward to the movie reviews. But some do. Some make suggestions! Many of my Asian films are from people who see many more than I do.
There are a couple of people who do not like Obama. Good.
They even write back occasionally.
Some of the personal stuff is more for family although anyone can read it.
The main thing is that I get to read it. Surprising myelf. And if it is interesting to others so much the better.
Of course I do not put everything in the blog. I only sketchily include stuff about family or friends. Mostly things that have been sent to me.
I don't talk much about my husband. Although he claims that he reads some things for the first time in the blog. Never discussed one on one.
I don't say much about my involvement with Alcoholics Anonymous. Not that there is anything wrong with doing it. Anonymity is only to be protected in the area of media. Press, radio, television and internet for the public. Mine is a closed system.
But I still keep it out of here pretty much.
For the last year I have been journaling my way through the Twelve Steps for the nth time and that has taken quite a bit of my writing energy. Maybe that has shown here. I will be done the end of this month with that.
But the thing is more that AA is a spiritual program of recovery and mostly depends on contact with other alcoholics. Not everyone who reads here is in that class. A few are and they are totally capable of reading between the lines.
But everything else is pretty much fair game.
It is strange but true that some very very close friends do not want to read the blog. I think that they sneak a peek every now and again but I think that, for them, it distorts the relationship. I get that and approve totally. They get long emails or one on ones instead.
What does it do for me? It is somehow liberating. To be open about being gay. To be clearer about my political beliefs. To tell my personal story from time to time. Cunnerman (hill billy) makes good, goes out in the world and finds some things to do that he never, ever thought could happen. And much of it stuff that I didn't even know I wanted or could do or have.
Every once in awhile, I get tired of it and think about stopping. This is quite prevalent on the web. I recently just lost a long term site that I read. Just like that. Gone. Done. One or two have left the site up but have retired from the scene. When that happens it feels bad to me. I know that a lot of what is on the net is not real but enough of it comes through as honest and interesting stuff that it is a BIG DEAL. Someone is out there who I like to read and so am I. Out there.
When and if I leave I will say a "long goodbye" unless I end before the blog and then maybe a family member will be kind enough to let people know that the blog is over by default.
OK. On with ths show.
* from the New Yorker.
