esrosedotblog

BEDSIDE MANNER

I used to think that I wasn't very good at hospital visits.

But then a friend ended up in the hospital for weeks while he had a serious but not fatal bout with throat cancer.

I went nearly every day at 8AM for all those weeks.

It wasn't a big deal really and I actually enjoyed it.

I probably enjoyed it because I discovered that I was good at it. I have a great bedside manner.

I do all the things that I would want and I don't do any of the things that I would not want.

I don't bring shit to the room. No flowers, no books, no candy. No shit.

I act as though it is perfectly normal. Which it is, really. Just a temporary normal but, if you think about it, there is nothing more normalized than a hospital. Nothing happens outside the established norm. Normal.

I don't spend a lot of time asking about the details. If the patient wants to tell me or ask advice I am there for it but I don't pry.

On the other hand, I can handle the grizzlies very well. I am not put off by blood, gore or schmatz of any kind.

I let death be in the room if it is what is 'in the air'. There is nothing more normal than dying. Unless it is a hospital. But we don't really talk about it in personal terms.

I bring it right along with me.

I do not waste the patient's time with lines like 'it will be alright' when I fucking know that it won't.

This doesn't mean that I am rude about it. I just maintain an attitude that takes in the whole realm of possibilities and I don't shut the door on the direst.

Another thing that I do is that I am willing to be an advocate.

People in hospitals get pushed around by the bureaucracy all the time. I am more than happy to make suggestions and urge them to act for their own recovery. I will even take up the cudgel if asked.

Nothing breathes life into the body like a little rebellion and acting out.

I try to keep 'em laughing. I don't mean standup comedy and jokes but, surely, it is worth a smile or two to see how we end up when we are ill.

So I am not ready to become a pro at it, a candy striper or anything. I am just ready to go there every day when a friend is in there and be of some kind of service.

That is what is going on now.

A friend is having some bad post surgical stuff going on and is in for days while they figure out how to correct the problem(s).

Oh. Another thing. It is better to go very often, daily, and stay a short time than to go less often and overstay your welcome.

My experience says that the longest anyone wants to have me in their face is about 20 minutes max and more usually it is 10 minutes.

Believe me. It is what I would want and it is what most other people I know want too.

Labels: life