esrosedotblog

ALL WEDDING ALL OF THE TIME

Here is the thing.

You go through decades accepting that you won't get married.

Then, suddenly, the idea of marriage becomes a reality.

It is possible! You can do it! Your time has come!

I would have thought that there would be a mildly happy transition from "can't" to "can" and then a decision, rationally made, to go ahead and get married.

Frankly, I guess, what I had in mind was something akin to elopement. Pack some things, take off to a JP over the state line (or just within it) and get hitched.

No. That is not how it works.

First of all you think about the people you want to be there. The best men. The family. A few close friends.

Then you think about entertaining them.

Then you think about the ceremony. Where. How. All that.

Suddenly the cap is off the bottle. The genie is out. The wedding genie.

What seemed to be a rational, step by step process, a problem to be solved, is suddenly a torrent of little ideas, wishes, inspirations and, inevitably, arguments.

So. Where do we stand? Let's have a little freeze frame.

We are pretty close to being done with the plans.

Well. That is wishful thinking. It won't be done until October.

We have the guest list. Well 90% of it. There are those problem people. The ones who maybe would be 'hurt' if you didn't ask them. Then there are the people who, when they heard we were getting married, said "Oh! I hope you are inviting me!". When in fact we had no intention.

We will work it out.

It has to be 100 because that is how many little plastic folding chairs we have reserved. A few close friends, right?

We have someone to do the ceremony. A City Councilman who has been our guide as we worked to stop the MacMansion. He is gay and part of a couple and has worked hard for same gender marriage.

We have an outline of the ceremony:

Cake and drinks and socialization.

Done. Over.

We have made basic decisions. No gifts. People can give to Equality California.

Colors are white and blue. Don't ask.

Photos will be taken. Perhaps a video of the actual ceremony.

There will be a guest register where people can make their own pages with stickers and shit. I am not sure of this one.

What have I left out?

I don't know.

Somehow, when I write it all down it doesn't seem as complicated as when we were discussing it.

There are all those emotions that suddenly show up when you are able to do something you have been wanting to and thought you couldn't. Pesky little things.

Labels: gay marriage