Sunday, April 27, 2008
COMING OUT
I can remember when the NYTimes would not use the word "gay" (try "avowed homosexual" as a nasty tongue twister).
Now they have a full magazine article on gay married couples living in Boston.
It is pretty good.
I don't know about the mid-fifties style domestic photos but I guess that is OK to goof on.
I tend to still take offense at anything that shows gay as being foofie.
It is nice to read about these young men who have made an early decision to couple and marry.
It is a whole new dynamic in so-called gay culture. Marriage. But I don't think it is that new. The coupling part.
It is just that the gay couples who have been around for decades were just not married and, while that does make a bit of difference, things are pretty much the same as they always were.
When I came out I knew couples in their 20's who have lasted unto this day. We have friends who have been together over 40 years and are not out of their 60s.
So, in a way, a lot of what these guys are experiencing is the same as we did in our first years.
One of the young men even refers to that old saw from 'the straights' who are so ignorant about gay life: "So who is the man and who is the woman".
Keerist.
It used to be asked a lot and, evidently, is still asked today. Nothing much changes.
The answer, incidentally, is "neither". We are two men and that is the point. If you wanted a woman you would be a hetero. Duh!
What marks these couples more than anything else is their yuppy-ness.
Gay has most often been seen in the light of an urban culture. The two things get intertwined.
Single men in the city are different than single men in the rural areas, gay or straight. And many of the issues discussed here are urban. Hence the term 'metrosexual'.
We have lived both ways.
In the city we were all that with the latest shows and the sparkly house and apartment. The night life. The arts.
Out here in the desert, we and a lot of other gay couples, young and old, are hardly distinguishable from the straights. We relax and slow down and don't go out at night much (that is for the tourists). We live a life outdoors and use the beauty of our surroundings to satisfy our aesthetic needs.
Our photos would be more of the 'hiking boots on a trail' kind.
Nonetheless, it is wonderful to see this happening and to realize that all that marching and protesting and petitioning and all has paid off.
These guys seem as happy as any one else and can live their life making their own mistakes and not start out behind society's eight-ball.
Labels: gay life
