esrosedotblog

DOOR TO DOOR

The doorbell rang and I went to see what was up.

We don't get much in the way of unexpected door traffic.

We are off the main way of a minor street which is sort of landlocked.

It is not a normal path for the door to door people.

But there he was.

A happy warrior, glad to see me, ready with a quick comment about the 'nice dog' and some other banter that went by me.

I asked him what was up?

He wanted to know if we had a house cleaner.

I said we were all set. Mari had been there that day.

"No—a house cleaner".

I noticed he had a spray bottle in his hand.

I told him I wasn't interested.

He looked down at the tile walkway and said "look at this" while he aimed the fucking bottle at the tile.

I yelled "stop!"

"Don't you spray anything"!

I think I scared him.

He looked like he was about to run. An act? Dunno.

I told him that I wasn't interested in buying anything. Never door to door. Nothing.

And I didn't want him spraying his chemicals on anything either.

He just gawked.

I can get dramatic.

Then he said something like "I'm sorry you are having a bad day" and turned tail.

One of my neighbors has a plaque near his bell and on his front gate: "No solictors, no salespeople, no religions"

John won't let me get one.

So I guess it will continue to be me that has to run them off.

The religionists (usually the 7th Day Adventists) are easy. I tell them that I am queer and not qualified to join their congregation.

If that doesn't do it, and sometimes it does not, I say that we are queer atheists and have no desire to change.

Sometimes, the word "homosexual" has a better toxic effect on them.

I almost always thank them for stopping by.

The solicitors are pretty easy to say no to. They are often the fake students who push the magazine subscriptions or some other obvious ploy.

A "no" almost always suffices. If they persist, I tell them that we never give money at the door—to send us a letter.

I often wonder what it is like, the door to door life.

I remember as a kid that I went around the two streets I lived near and sold christmas cards to get some prize or other.

I also went door to door for donations.

But these were neighbors.

I had been there for trick or treat, I shoveled some of their walks, I was a known quantity.

This coming up to strangers is not something I would be able to do.

On the other hand, I do like the anonymity of it.

I did campaign for office back when I ran for Town Meeting Moderator in Plymouth, MA.

But it wasn't door to door.

Maybe it is the door part. The privacy of the home.

I don't know. But on this side of the door no one gets past the gate. No one gets a yes.

Ever.

Labels: life