esrosedotblog

Today, the monthly condo board meeting.

I have been sitting on this for three years.I really like it.

We have 147 units, just the right number I think. Not to big not too small.

We get a good owner turnout to observe and participate in the meetings. Some sit quietly. Others have questions. Still others have ideas.

In my experience, the ones who ask the most questions and offer ideas end up being on the board. Eventually. Their attendance is a sort of try out or farm team league workout.

Once they get a presence they stand for election and usually, if they are prompt in getting their names into the hat, they end up elected.

There is no rule for turnover. It just happens.

This is my second term and while there have been some lifers in the past I think I will not be standing for a third term. But as I type that, even I do not believe it.

I am well suited for the job of Treasurer and I like to sign all the checks. It fills my need for some power and at the same time is very practical. It is the fundamental microscope on what is going on.

We have professional managers; a small company that services several other small associations like us. They are well informed and know their role. I like them.

In fact I like all my fellow board members. Their quirks and specialties are fascinating to me. They all contribute.

Best of all we have no assholes. This is a feature of many other boards I hear about. Not ours.

Steering the association is made easier by the fact that in California we have the Davis-Sterling act which was produced in answer to a host of problems with HOA associations in the state.

It is a wise and enabling legislation of proper guidelines and procedures. Not hard to follow, it actually enables good government while heading off bad behavior or incompetent leadership.

We also have attorneys on call when we get our heads into areas that look murky or portend trouble.

Right now we have a crazy owner who is rumbling at length in long incoherent letters about the failures of the board, the association, the professional staff, the neighbors, the dogs around her who bark just to annoy her and so on.

A good bit of governance is to ignore this type of provocation, invite her to come to board meetings and vent and, somewhat sternly, let her know we are not afraid of her and that her rights only extend the paint on her walls. We own the structure. She owns the interior. A fine point but often a key one. Owners do have a stake in the property itself but it is a joint ownership and no one gets to run the thing but us. And we are constrained both by the law, re-election and good sense.

I love it.

I am good at it. Long years of public service prepared me for all of it. I am not passive. I try to speak from the heart. I figure part of my job is to help people keep it cool and not make fools of themselves. If they insist, we will let them do that but we will not point and make fun or abuse them in any way.

I find that my parental stare is often enough to stop the nonsense. And I am not even the chairman. There are five of us and we all bring a good balance and good sense to the operation. If I say so myself.

Oh. Why "grass"?

Because it is the perennial (ha ha) issue at each meeting. My grass, your grass, watering grass, not watering grass, seeding grass, not seeding, weeds, bermuda, rye, on and on.

Why is this? I am not sure. We are fucking lucky we have any grass. It is a feature of the condo design and very unusual for this kind of development. The originator and designer of the units gave us plenty of space and filled it with grass and gorgeous landscaping. It is beautiful. It is one of the things that brought us here. But it is expensive to keep up. Mowing, watering (no water) seeding, replanting, pruning and all. The technicalities of good grass constitute a major in some agricultural colleges. Preservation of plant material is an art practiced by professional gardeners. Pruning alone would fill a sizable manual.

The drought mandate in California has required that we cut water by 35% and we have done so. With no harm to the grass!

Amazing.

But what remains is the belief that your grass is greener than mine.

Now not one person here owns the grass around their condo. But believe me that is a technicality. People want their grass to be in top condition. Their turf to be bountiful. And it is, for the most part.

We spend a lot of money on this. And the mowing.

It is easy to say that grass should be taken out and gravel put in. But it turns out that gravel is very expensive if properly laid. Four layers of sand, pebbles, black film to halt weeds, netting, blah blah blah. And then you have to keep people and dogs off it because it will not take very long for it to develop into an outdoor toilet. Piss smell for a long distance.

And and so on.

I have been on the board the longest and know the story and get to be the one to tell this every several months when a new group of environmentally minded water savers come in and want us to take the grass out.

We are not going to do that. At worst, we will let the dry turf sit and be brown waiting for the revival of water or not. If it turns to sand it would be better as desert than as some concocted gravel pit. And so on.

I go on and on about this you see. It is my job. When the naif comes in and wants to take the grass out, all board members turn to me. I recite the lesson for the day. I must do a good job of explanation or, perhaps, intimidation. It does not come up again from that person.

Labels: board meeting, condo