esrosedotblog

I was supposed to go to the dentist today for a cleaning.

I did not go.

I woke in the night with a dread of it. Seriously. This has not happened to me in a long time. I had come to terms with it all and pretty much have been able to waltz through the process in recent years.

I called and canceled, then called and set a new date. But I don't know if I will follow through on it or not.

I am puzzled by this. I do need to go. I have friends who do not but I have gum issues. Or did have. And they inculcate this idea of necessity which is at one level quite true and at another not.

I am perplexed.

I know that this happens to dentists all the time. They expect it. It has nothing to do with any guilt of bailing on someone who depends on me. It was a bit last minute but what the hell. I have been a good boy.

I just find myself so resistant to going today.

Maybe I need to find a new doc.

I was so happy for years with Dr. Calhoun. A young cynical guy with an attitude that pissed off so many patients that they sort of abandoned him. I loved it. He was irreverent and brash. And, it needs to be said, he made me (by himself in his shop) a set of dentures that have been admired by other dentists in the years since I went to him.

Where did he go? He got a job as the head dental guy at the prison in Blythe CA. Something he could hardly refuse. And, I think, his practice was faltering. I am sure that somewhere he is pushing some con around while he does his job on the con's teeth.

So where does that leave me?

I have had these periods before in my life. I lost a lot of teeth because I played hooky. But now that I have partials for half my teeth, I am a lot less concerned about the whole thing. The more relaxed attitude of an old man without a lot to lose.

A final word of blame. This dentist is pretty good. But he has had a succession of hygienists who really suck. Or piss me off. Or somehow have disappointed. The ones I started with are long gone. He doesn't seem to be able to keep anyone.

So starting at a new place won't be much different than it has been with this office. Always a new person cleaning and scraping my teeth. The actual time with the DDS is pretty short. A quick look and a pat on the ass and goodbye. Of course if there is "work" then he comes into the picture. But it has been a long long time since there was "work".

So. I will wait and see. Somehow I predict I will cancel the new appointment I have made and will start looking for another place. Or not.

Right now, doing nothing seems to be the best option. I like the little bon mot: "If in doubt do nothing". I am sure in doubt. Maybe fear to. But the answers will come as they always do.

Labels: dentist