esrosedotblog

I have just taken all our DVDs and removed them from their jewel cases and put them in a nice big album.

It holds 352 of them. I hope never to fill it.

Here is a fact about DVDs. The cases are fucked from the get-go.

First, they are impossible to open without a majorly sharp tool. Those sticky end tapes hold on like lamprey eels. Only bandaids are harder to get off without pain.

Then, the design of the case itself has not evolved since 411 BC. They still have this reluctance to open. They have the spindle that you press for "easy out" removal. Try it. Several times. It helps if you say "goddamit" a couple of times. Or "Fuck Fuck Fuck" in rapid succession works too.

There is the worry that the removal may damage the disc so one worries about being too rough. But never mind. That is secondary. Damaged or not it does no good for us in the case.

There are some cases that have worked it out so that the four indentations around the disc are set so close you cannot even get your smallest fingernail in there to lift it out. If you ever are successful in depressing the spindle.

This is the result of modern plastics technology perhaps new since 411 BC. Fine machining possible now makes the space almost microscopic.

OK. Sooner or later it does come out of the case. Soaking the case and disc in hot water, incidentally, does not seem to help.

Out of the box, into the machine and two hours of viewing enjoyment. Almost worth it.

Once I have seen the DVD, there is no problem putting it back in. The problem begins after about the fifth DVD in the library when you try to stack or display or store them easily and visibly. From the side doesn't work very well. Too narrow to read. From the front? No. They are in a stack.

At about five it is OK to pick the pile up and old it/them in my hand. Widest grasp possible. After that it is lining up side to side in a row like books.

This is effective until another problem emerges.

The DVD case is a frictionless surface. Perfectly smooth. Each case tries to hug its mate but is disabled from doing so and, given any space between at all, will slide in another direction. Particularly if you pull out one disc and provide the small space. If two, then an avalanche.

So.

We have a lot of DVDs. Three rows about three feet wide. I have not counted.

When the width gets too far, then whole sections begin to collapse. And, something 6 inches high unnecessarily takes up a lot of available space in a cabinet.

So I found this "book". A big mother book, to hold the DVDs.

Downside is that the DVDs have to be moved and this necessitates taking the discs out of their case, mounting them in the nice no-stick nylon transparent sleeves. 6 to a page.

Remember the fucking spindle that doesn't release? Think "this is the last time". It doesn't sound onerous and it is not, if one focuses on the outcome. Neat, orderly, easy to handle.

Order. The perennial question for books, records, CDs and, now, the DVDs.

Chronological? No. Makes no sense. Some of the discs are of older films. Production date? Acquisition date?

No.

Alphabetical? No. No sense.

Subject? Well 90% of them are, in some way, gay. There are subcategories but, well, not really.

There are some obvious choices. Andres Téchine has five films in the folder, four of them from a collection. All together.

The Noah's Ark series and movie? All together.

Teen Wolf? The same. The third season on DVD is almost upon us.

And so on.

Beyond that, just pile them in. A like to force a little browsing.

In fact, the Téchine films need a going over in a small fest of their own. Another film "Adored: Diary of a Porn Star" is up for re-viewing too. A cheesy title for a wonderful film.

Another choice is around covers. The covers are, sometimes, worth seeing for a reminder, for a recap, for an inventory of scenes and extras. I kept these in the same order as the discs and held in a rubber band in case we really do look at them.

Job over. It took a week. Once I got in the groove it was automatic. I even dreamed about it one night.

I am pretty good at mechanical work once I can find the routine. Mindless work. Very good for mental health.

Another step toward mental health is the end of the DVD avalanche.

Labels: films, home