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This is better than I expected

Two Major Rulings Bolster Gay Marriage

But my expectations were limited. Or, I was ready for anything.

The question of marriage equality is not put to bed. There is more work to be done.

Here in California, it will be interesting to see what the State does. So far they have not sought to enforce Prop. 8. They have not allowed marriage because they are prevented from doing so by the Appeals Court who found 8 unconstitutional.

I think we will hear soon.

I find that I am very emotional over this.

It is hard to talk or think about without some tears for those who are not here to appreciate it. It is hard to process.

When you have been down for a long time, up is an unfamiliar place.

We became active in the fight for marriage equality in our early years. The 70s.

We supported the efforts of the Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, now fully known as Glad. No caps.

Over the years, we have been married many times. First and second and third with rings and all the support but none of the legality. Then we became Certified Domestic Partners.

Finally, in 2008, we were legally married in the State of California.

There have been many rings. The present one has three "rings" in one circle.

We have behaved as though we were married from maybe our first five years when we decided to commit to monogamy.

We never looked back.

The true value of marriage, for real, is in the benefits, the participation and the demand for equality itself.

It is not an accident that the term "gay marriage" has become "gay equality".

But there is no explaining the FEELING of becoming really married. The emotional shock of that "I do" moment is awesome. You may have noticed I do not use that way overused a-word very often.

It helped that we took our vows in our own backyard with a hundred friends and family watching. I will always remember the loud bark that our Airedale, first dog, Franklin gave out during the standing ovation.

You know, we have never backed down.

We were out in Boston as much as we could be. In public we held hands, we were affectionate, we were proud to be a gay couple. We never had any trouble with it (well, a carload of yahoos in Las Vegas). I think that is because it was real, it was heartfelt and it could not be denied.

The fastest route to killing prejudice is to be out and proud.

That is the center of gay pride. Not the parade, not the parties. But in the relationships. From the most casual couplings to the ones, like ours, that have been years in the making.

I was queer twice. In college, then after I got married and came out again. The second time was a lot better. I lost shame. I faced the wind. I wanted a relationship and I found it. He found me. Which? Both. One that has lasted through time and has been a power of example to others over the years.

Did you know that this decision is on the eve of "Stonewall"?

You don't suppose they timed it for that do you?

Labels: marriage equality