esrosedotblog

MOTHERS

It is Mother's Day.

When I was a kid it was a big deal at church. There were flowers and corsages.

I remember making things out of paper doilies. But maybe that was Valentine's Day.

I usually got a potted plant down the road. A geranium. The smell of Mother's Day is geranium.

I suspect that the day has changed. I do not have a mother any more.

When I did, an older one, I would call Helen Reese, the florist in my home town, and have her drop something off at my Mom's house.

I somehow don't think that the significance, if any, to the day is that easily handled by punching the florist button. But that is what I did.

And, as most people did at that time, I wallowed in a bit of sentimentalism about the whole thing.

I find this hard to say even now, but while I loved my mother, I didn't like her very much.

I suppose this isn't so unusual.

I don't know many people who liked their Mom a lot. And for those who say they do, well, I am very happy for them. I bet that they don't just punch the flower button and let it go at that.

So. While it is a fake holiday in the beginning made to sell cards, flowers and sentimentality it does arouse a lot of feelings. Ambivalence.

My kids were very close to their mother in a way that I never felt for mine.

They had good cause.

She had the kind of love, some times tough, that never gave up. Or waned.

She was a much better mother, if there is such a measure, than I was a father.

I watched her "work" at close quarters.

She was always there to support or to help. To correct in a way that was not self centered. All about her.

One way to see her gifts in action was to watch my kids, as they grew up, become aware of her as a very special friend. They not only loved her, they liked her too.

She was a great partner to me, even after we separated. We stayed being parents. Well, we were that so why try to kid ourselves.

As a parent partner, the managing partner of the deal, she was superb.

I know that today she is missed. I miss her. I am sure the kids do.

I don't remember that our kids gave her flowers. The easy fix. I think that it was more handmade cards. Perhaps small chores done.

One of the great gifts she gave our kids was her humility. I know that it was a gift for me. From her. I couldn't come up to her level of it but I learned a lot.

So today, I will be thinking about one of the best mothers that I have known the best.

Here's to you Bobby. The ultimate Mom. A few tears now. A bit of sadness.

Labels: love