Monday, March 25, 2013
COURAGE IN THE LIMELIGHT
I like this "article" a lot.
I like the family and what I have read about it.
It is quite a surprise to find out your son is gay especially if your "gaydar" is not well honed.
My parents "knew" for years and were so afraid of it that they couldn't deal. Of course this was the 40s and 50s.
When I came out to them I had a family and all the signs of fitting the standard model of straight adulthood in America. The one size fits all paradigm.
I didn't even get to tell them that I was gay. Someone got to them before I did.
No blame, my fault. But I was afraid. Afraid of them, afraid of rocking the boat, afraid, afraid, afraid.
And when the gay cat leaped out of the bag all their previous worries about me were finally realized. And even though they tried, there was no way the cat was going back into the bag.
It was a tough couple years.
Eventually, especially when they met John (he and my Dad bonded over the naval veteran thing), it all quieted down.
Before he died, my Dad and I had a fine time talking about it and being happy and his being happy about my obvious happiness.
You can't beat happiness as a sign of a good life well lived.
I think that things are better today. It may be easier for kids to be themselves and for parents to "see the signs" and get the fuck over their own stuff about it.
I had already taken care of some of the worries. I had the kids, the grandkids. I was happy and not soliciting blow jobs in alley ways and mens rooms in Boston. Well not that way exactly.
I was in some danger because I was out out. Not halfway. You can still get your ass kicked for that. But then I could get my ass kicked for a lot of things. Being an addict and drunk wasn't the safest of life positions. But they didn't know that.
And so on.
Sooner or later we all have to grow up. Good for this kid.
Parents have to realize that they need to do some growing too. Good for the Portmans.
Labels: coming out, gay rights
