esrosedotblog

FREE AND CLEAR

Doctor Jim called with the blood test results today.

I am OK on all counts.

The PSA stays the same as it has been for years which means that I continue to be cancer free.

My liver panels are still in the right range too.

You know. All those years of drinking and all. The results can show up for ever. Even after 29 years, which it is. Since the last one.

Imagine. No one told me about that then. Or if they did, I flipped it off and had another drink.

I used to worry about the bloods' results and dread the call. Mostly the prostate cancer test.

Now, I just sort of go to the test, let them take the blood and then forget about it.

Sooner or later I will hear what they found.

Whenever.

I think that after a while one just gets over worry as being useful in any way.

Knowing it is not useful doesn't eliminate it however.

That takes some serious and fundamental spiritual work. Meditation. Prayer. Like that.

I am still not worry free. There are some things that can still get me going.

So, I go to work on that one. Whichever one comes up.

When they are gone they are really gone though. What a freedom.

Worries that can still grab my ass: financial insecurity, close elections (I am nuts over this primary—each bump freaks me out), people who don't show up on time.

Stuff like that. I am working on it.

Labels: health