esrosedotblog

DREAM ON

I usually don't remember my dreams.

They are gone within moments of waking.

But there are some that endure.

There is the travel dream where I am going to Europe but I have no connecting ticket or I am naked or the gate is obscure.

There is also the airplane dream where the plane doesn't actually fly but travels on the ground and then takes off from a regular highway, stays at tree level, and then lands without so much as a bump. I think this is the same as the old flying dream that everyone has. The one without the airplane.

There is the one where I am in Boston and remember that I have a second apartment that I never vacated in Charles River Park. I go there and open the mailbox. Go to the apartment and set up housekeeping.

I think that a part of me still wants to rent.

I still have some MIT dreams. There is an exam and I haven't attended a class or done the reading let alone the homework.

Not too far off the truth actually. I fiddled a lot while rome burned in the classroom.

I have a few recurring sex dreams but I won't bore you with those.

The training dream has several variations.

There is the one where there is no training room. We have to meet outside. Sometimes in the woods.

There is the one where I am naked.

There are some others that are non-specific but have the general taste of failure in them.

Last night was the one where I have no time to even start the program let alone get it finished. It was at my old client McKinsey.

The group was late and then when they arrived they had to rearrange the furniture.

Then I had trouble getting through introductions as I had no charts.

It was a fuck-up compilation. All the things that can go wrong.

The difference now is that I don't seem to mind much. I do the work and do my best and that is that.

Since this particular course only lasted about fifteen minutes before they had to leave it wasn't too painful either.

I always wake up relieved that it was just a dream but, in this case, I had a tinge of regret.

I wish I had a course that lasted only fifteen minutes. Three days was the norm.

Don't get me wrong. These are not nightmares. They are just one hazardous step from some form of reality or worry that I had in all the years I have lived.

The nightmares are few and far between and almost always involve some cataclysm or devouring beast.

I have never had either happen to me.

All lower brain stem stuff I am sure.

I don't know what Freud would make of all this.

Probably not too much.

Sometimes a training room is just a training room.

Labels: dreams