esrosedotblog

OVER HERD

I guess that my near brush with actual jury duty was more traumatic than I thought.

I am having post traumatic stress symptoms; random thoughts, visions, nervous tics.

Not really.

But, I am having mental gymnastics that arise from nowhere.

I repeat the lines between me and the prosecutor. What I might have said that would have made even more difference.

I think of the woman who claimed moral reservations about judging others. She said that she could 'not see into another person's heart'.

Why didn't I think of that?

I wonder whether people in the room thought that I was an arrogant asshole.

There was someone there that I knew. He said 'argumentative'.

Is that OK?

You see what I mean?

I mentioned my surprise that people didn't take a more pro-active role in the grilling that they got from both attorneys.

Well, here is why. We all have deeply ingrained inhibitions and a desire to please.

We all have trouble standing up in the face of authority.

The whole jury selection process is an exercise in mind manipulation and brain washing.

You get herded into a large room with a bunch of other sheep.

They yap at you through a loudspeaker.

You are under absolute personal restraint. They control your lunch and your bowel movements.

And so on.

I am glad enough to be out of it and I will never go back but a small piece of me still wants to have pleased the judge and to have behaved well and to have so complied with it all; to have had a 'good attitude'.

Keerist!

No wonder we put up with the antics of the bushes and all. We are essentially sheep and when we are not we have traitor guilt.