esrosedotblog

FIRST DAY

Some of the local schools had their first day today.

Early, huh?

I saw little kids on their way with those hellishly big back packs they all have to carry now.

No lockers. A lot of homework and shit.

I always feel sadness on the first day of school.

I told a few people about it.

Someone asked if I can remember my first day. I think that I was being prompted to cough up some old baggage or something.

Yes. I do remember.

My mother took me. I would be a walker.

I think that it was OK.

I sat in the back of the room. Probably because they sat us alphabetically.

I do remember that there were a lot of kids crying.

Not me. I was probably scared though.

I don't think the sadness comes from my own experience.

Maybe my own kids.

Do I remember their first days?

Well, not individually. It is a sort of collective angst.

The end and the beginning.

But not sadness.

In some respects, we were probably happy to see them off. I mean that in a nice way.

When I reflect upon it, I think my sadness is about the beginning of the loss of innocence.

I know that a lot of little kids have already been affected in this respect. But even in these harsh times, I don't think a lot of them have had their hair mussed up too much.

I know that it is inevitable.

We all leave the garden sooner or later. We all get to be bad boys and girls. We all get hurt.

This is life on life's terms.

It ain't an easy world.

So, I am happy to see the little kids go on with their lives and, at the same time, I have this basic sadness that they will, like all of us, get toughened up by experience out of the nest.

The way of nature. The way of the world.