esrosedotblog

BUZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz

Somehow.....

Well, not 'somehow'. I know how.

Franklin and I went out for the mail and, since he lags a bit behind, I left the front door open.

(Right, blame it on the dog).

Somehow, while the door was open, while I went out to get the mail, while the dog was slowly following me out and then back, a humming bird got into the house.

Holy Keerist.

That is the worst.

They buzz. They hover. They beat their little fucking wings.

This one had not started to assail the glass. He was in position but had not yet put on his thrusters.

This has happened before. Sometime they can be shooed out the door.

Once, we had one sit on the ledge of the skylight.

Celia, our housecleaner at the time, got a little ladder and slowly reached up and actually took the thing in her hand and then outside.

This one today would have had none of that.

No perching.

So. After I screamed, I calmly got a magazine (the latest New Yorker with a Sempé cover) and began to walk up to the bird who had, by this time, arrived at the conclusion that the vast expanse of glass in the sun-room offered the best opportunity to exit.

Good decision.

Now, I began to encourage the bird toward the double doors which I had opened while screaming.

Slowly and surely, out it went.

Gone.

You can hear them, you know. They buzz.

They are great little birds but, wow, oh shit, I really like them a lot more outdoors than inside my house.

Gotta be careful of the doors.

Victorious, I looked around for praise.

None was forthcoming.

My screaming had gotten John up from a nap and sent Franklin to his bed in our room.

The bird didn't even thank me.

Good works are best rewarded when done anonymously and without outside praise.