esrosedotblog

JEN

Of all the email that I get, this one is the most frequent:

Hi my name is Jennifer A friend said you were really cool and said I should get in contact you with you! I love meeting new people so you should come chat with me. I also have a videocam so we can make it interesting! It doesn't cost you a dime or anything like that, I just wana meet you!

There is a variant, in which this person says her name is 'Jen'. Now, I wonder how this Jennifer or Jen has gotten my name. She keeps writing even though I have never answered. Her message never changes. Does she expect that mere repetition will wear me down? Wrong. I am immune to it. Show me a little creativity Jen. Perhaps if you put a period after the first sentence it would help. Another thing: I am not so sure I would be up for a videocam on our first meeting especially if it would make it 'interesting'.

And about this 'wana' word. Do you meant to say that you 'want to' meet me? And 'anything like that', this sounds a bit foreign to me. Our governor has a turn of speech that is like this phrase: "or anything like dat". It is infill for his insecurity in English. I wonder if Jen is not native born? Not that there is anything wrong wid dat.

I probably get five of these Jen letters a day in my mailbox. But there are many more that are repelled electronically; most do not make it through the earthlink spaminator or my own junk mail filter. In total there must be 20-30 if I include the ones that are caught. This 'Jen' is really creative. Perhaps I should give her some points for that. She has figured out a way to foil these electronic sentries more than 20% of the time. I find myself wondering if I have met her somewhere. Why is she so determined? So persistent?

There is another possible angle or answer to this puzzle. I presently get a lot of penis enlargement email. I try not to take this personally, incidentally. I think that it is a mass mailing. I would hate to think that anyone at the gym has turned in my name after seeing me in the shower. I suspect that could not be the case as I use an assumed name on my gym membership. I have to think that perhaps Jen and the penis people are somehow in league to get me to answer an ad, any ad.

Now stay with me. One more step in this possible conspiracy. I am connecting this Jen and the penis thing with the fact that I used to get almost all ink-cartridge email. Now that has disappeared. Do you suppose that Jen and the penis people are really the ink-cartridge folks trying to get me through a ruse of some kind? And what evil may lurk behind the ink cartridges? Let's face it. No one uses so many ink cartridges that any amount of savings would justify a special shipment.

I don't know. I am all sweaty palmed about this. If I do not answer any of this mail, I might be missing something; but if I do answer it, I might be inundated with ink cartridges or worse. I do not know what I 'wana' do. OH. I and when I write to Jen, do you think that I should tell her that I am gay?