esrosedotblog

CIRCUIT PARTY

The spa pump has been erratic; off and on and off again at weird unprogrammed times. This is not a huge problem unless you want to go into it at 730 pm and have it dependably at poaching temp. Well, that is what we want. So, if it was deciding to go on at the programmed time, we would get hot; and if not, well, not; hot. I figured it was just 'the timer'. You know, a little part that would be easily replaced, then back to business.

I told Frank. Frank told the electric pool guy; a specialty here. They have niched the pool repair market. The electrical pool guy came and ran through a lot of the stuff I did; cancel the program, reset it, look for phantom programs, and so on. Then he shook his head in that undertakerish way that all service men have now adopted. "I am afraid it is bad news". (gasp) "It is the control panel; either at the equipment or the one here in the house or both". (gasp gasp) "They get a lot of money for the replacement boards". (that is a three gasper) "And when you replace one, if we could figure which one that is, you usually have to replace both because they have updated the boards and............" We are a flotilla of gasps here and miss the rest. I was wrong. It was not just one part. It was two! And A BIG TWO!

We live in the age of the circuit board; the chip. They are everwhere. You have a bunch in your car. I know they are all over the house. They are watching. I am typing because they are letting me tell this story. It is about THEM! Aaaaaargh. And, when something goes wrong, they have to be replaced. All of them. Both of them.

When I was a young, struggling, processing engineer (another life), we built circuits from pieces. There were switches. There were timers. There were frigging wires! We worked from circuit diagrams. Then one day, someone (not me, unfortunately) looked at the circuit diagram and said "Why don't we just print this diagram on a board, stick on little switches and timers and things and run little solder lines between the pieces instead of wire; then we could just wham it into a panel and flip a switch. No more tedious wiring of the bits and all". The rest is history. They made everything smaller; transistors. No more switches, no more timers. Chips. Now we live by the board and die by the board.

I told the guy we would take a breather and meditate on it. I am working on a new deal. A cyber-psycho-circuit board. I am going to meditate a board, a circuit, a time schedule, a hot spa on time. Oooooooooooommmmmmmmmmm. Or is that Ohmmmmmm? Hmmmm. I bet you saw that ohm thing coming huh? Well, it wouldn't work to chant amp now would it? Or volt?

OK. Today, the timer is acting normally so far. It may be working. I will let you know.